Even When It's Wrong

by Nicole Jackson

  I’d been home for a few hours, and had been calling her non-stop. In recent times, she’d become cool with so many people through Daynah, so there was no telling who she was with. I was honestly considering calling everybody she knew, when there was a knock at the door.

  Stepping up to the door, I spotted Nerie through the peep hole. Sometimes her and Mya would wander off together, and when they’d reappear Nerie would beat her to the door, and knock for whatever reason, although Mya had a key. Hopeful, I opened the door, thinking that Mya wasn’t too far behind, probably wobbling down the hallway.

  Nerie stepped inside, and I stuck my head out, looking for Mya, but she was nowhere in sight. I spun around. “Where Mya at?”

  Nerie’s eyes shifted around. “She aint here?”

  “No.”

  “Well, she must be on her way, because she texted me earlier, telling me to stop by.”

  I squinted. “Did she say where she was, and who she was with?”

  “I didn’t ask. Hell, I thought that yall was together.”

  I frowned. “Why you say that?”

  “Cause when I called…” she started, before cutting herself off. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing what?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I murmured, while studying her. Nerie had been around for a while, and I’d known her before I’d met Meeka or Mya. Although, she was younger, she’d fucked with quite a few of my patnahs. She didn’t have a reputation, though. It was more like she was considered attractive, and a hot commodity, therefore several niggas from the same hood were on her. And I could understand why. She and Mya were basically the same complexion, but she was slim thick, carrying a ghetto booty around. She had a cute pie face, and kept herself fresh. The thing was, she was messy as hell. I called her the hood reporter, because she knew everybody’s business, which urged me to remain guarded around her.

  “What’s the balloons for?” she pried, as she glanced around.

  I shrugged, never verbally giving her an answer.

  She shook her head. “Well, where’s Cavalli?”

  “I don’t know. She been leaving with her boyfriend lately. She probably with that nigga.”

  “Oh, okay,” she sighed before sitting on the couch. “So, what’s been up with you, and my girl?”

  I frowned. “Why you ask that?”

  “I don’t know, I guess I noticed how she wants to be anywhere but here.”

  “Is that right?” I lifted a brow.

  “Yup.” She bounced a leg.

  I inched closer. “What did she tell you the problem was?”

  “Hmm, that you’re never around, anymore. And that you’re probably out cheating, but I told her that she was tripping. She act like she don’t understand that you out there making a way for yall. Cause shit,” she glanced around. “Everybody aint able to live like this. I told her that she’s gonna fuck around, and push you away. I know the single life should be looking mighty appetizing with all the bitching she’s probably doing.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t say all that,” I denied.

  “But do you think that yall will be together forever? Even if your career grows? Or will you just make sure that her and the baby are straight? Because I’m just saying. Ion know no faithful rappers, and the things Mya don’t like about the lifestyle aint going nowhere. That could create a lot of resentment.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “The fuck your young ass know about resentment?”

  “Plenty.” She crossed her legs. “I used to fuck with a nigga that’s now in the NBA. I got with him my freshman year, and I knew that nigga loved me. He still do. But there were too many other bitches. He had no time for me, and I spent a lot of nights crying. Eventually, he put me out of my misery and told me that he wanted to be friends. So, I know how this success thing goes for yall niggas, and you just getting started. You gonna encounter some of the baddest bitches, with their own money or career, and they not gon have a baby on their hip, nagging about what time you came in the house. Then those bad bitches will become easier to deal with. Less of a headache. And it might leave you resenting Mya, and vice versa.”

  I grimaced, as I listened to her. I’d be lying, if I didn’t admit that those very things hadn’t crossed my mind. The more exposure I got the more I’d meet some of the finest chicks around, and laying them down had undeniably crossed my mind. What kept me at bay was remembering how I felt when Mya tried to cut me off. Those other bitches were cool, and fed my ego, but Mya was my soul. The two simply didn’t compare.

  “You tripping, home girl. I’m good. As much I as I want this rap shit, I also know that the span of a successful rap career is short. Niggas fall off every day, and if you pay attention, a majority of the ones with long Gevity are those that got them a real one, and stayed down with her. Cause those bad bitches don’t mean shit if they aint fucking with you when it all falls down.”

  “Huh? But they don’t hear you, though,” she snapped her fingers. “That’s what’s up. They need to make more like you. Cause most of these simple niggas will sell their souls, and turn their backs on everybody they know.”

  “Yeah, and they pay for it in the long run.”

  “True that, true that,” she agreed, before lifting her hand, exhibiting a blunt. “You smoking?”

  I smiled, rubbing my hands together. “You aint half bad, Nerie.” I copped a seat on the couch, a safe distance away from her. “Fire that bitch up.”

  She nodded, before doing just that. For a hot minute, we sat there getting lifted, genuinely laughing together. I realized that she was mature for her age, and was rather slick in ways that I don’t even think that Mya had peeped. She had a way of making you talk your business, while not exposing much of herself.

  “On the real, you be spoiling my girl. You got her all these little gifts, after damn near spending two racks on her the other day,” she commented.

  “Huh?” I frowned. “What you talking about?”

  “You know,” she giggled, blowing smoke out of her nostrils. “The necklace. The platinum chain with the little heart on it. That shit is nice.”

  “The necklace?”

  “Yeah. She said that her boo bought it for her…oh, wait. Obviously, she wasn’t talking about you. Never mind. Disregard that. Maybe I heard her wrong.”

  My back stiffened. “I really don’t know what you talking about, but for her sake I’m hoping you mistaken.”

  “Yeah, I probably am. I probably just assumed that’s what she said, because you always getting her stuff.”

  I shook my head. “Man, please don’t get that girl fucked up.”

  “Like I said, I’m probably wrong. I mean, it aint like she been dealing with anybody else, right?”

  “I mean, I aint think she was.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Okay, can I ask you something? And I promise to keep this between us.”

  “Alright.”

  “You don’t have no doubts about her baby? I mean, I know that right before she announced that she was pregnant that she was kicking it tough with Flame. He was picking her up from school every day. You don’t think that maybe she got pregnant during that time?”

  I clenched the muscles in my jaw, as I thought about the shit she was saying. I hated to even revisit the fact that Mya had been kicking it with that nigga, and I wasn’t exactly clear on when she’d first started entertaining him. What I did know was that she’d gotten pregnant, before we’d gotten on bad terms. So, Flame wasn’t an issue then, as far as I knew. But when I thought about it, I had to consider that I didn’t know how and when she’d begun communicating with him. It could’ve very well have been way before I’d caught on to it. Push came to shove, DNA could clear that shit up, but something in my heart told me that she was carrying my baby. I couldn’t describe it, but I just knew it. So, that wasn’t my issue, right then. I was wondering why some broad that was supposed to be my gal’s friend felt the need to bring some shit like that to my atten
tion. What was her motive?

  “Let me ask you this.” I licked my lips. “Even if she was low down, and the baby really wasn’t mine, why would you be the one to expose that?”

  “Look, I’m all for what’s right, and honestly I’m one of the few people that never gave Mya a pat on the back for taking you from her mama.”

  I grimaced. “Okay, now you talking about shit that you don’t know about.”

  “Am I?” she asked calmly, although she was clearly rubbing me the wrong way. “Or are you just not looking at things for what they are? Regardless of whatever issues her and her mama had, there’s plenty of girls that would never fuck behind their mamas. So, that’s a major character flaw she got, which makes me believe that she’s capable of anything. Just think about it. If you get to mistreating her, who’s to say that she won’t feel that she’s justified to sleep with your friends? And yeah, you participated in it too, but you aint related to nobody. I mean, niggas come and go. Relationships come and go, but family is forever. So, I said that to say that you seem like a stand-up dude, and I would hate to see anybody take advantage of that. Even somebody I’m cool with. So, my advice to you is to get that bloodwork. And I’ll tell you this with her right here, because I don’t give a fuck. Call it fake or whatever else, but it is what it is.”

  I lifted my chin, not believing her for one second. “So, you’d tell her this to her face?”

  “Yeah. Ask her if I ever told her that I understood her decision to mess with you. I aint never pumped fake. I fuck with her, but I feel how I feel. Am I wrong for having my own opinion on the situation?”

  I thought about it. “Nah.”

  “Okay, then,” she smiled. “And I bet that she never told you that I had a little crush on you, either.”

  “What?” my head snapped around, not expecting that.

  “I had a crush on you,” she admitted with a straight face. “I told Mya, and she listened, but started screwing you like it was nothing.”

  “Man, you tripping,” I sighed, before taking a toke off the blunt.

  She giggled. “You scared of my honesty?”

  “Nah, scared wouldn’t be the right word. It’s uncomfortable. What was the point in you telling me that?”

  “Because I’m high, and just said fuck it. That’s how I am. I live in the moment, and think about the consequences later.”

  “Well, you need to quit that. That shit can be dangerous for you,” I exhaled the smoke.

  She leered. “It can be.”

  “Yeah,” I yawned. “Mya need to bring her ass on, because I’m sleepier than a muthafucka.”

  “Me too.” She stood up, and took a long stretch, causing her shirt to ease up, revealing her flat stomach. “I gotta pee too. Be right back.”

  “Uh huh,” I mumbled lazily. I laughed to myself, realizing that Mya’s girl was coming on to me. Admittedly, she was attractive, but it was far too much pussy out in the world to fuck that close to home. “Yeah, I’m telling on her ass.”

  I stared at the TV, high as fuck, until my eyes slowly lowered. I adjusted myself in the couch, deciding that I was gonna take a short nap. At least then, Nerie’s hot ass would probably get the message, and get fucking lost.

  Mya

  “You can’t come chill for just a lil’ minute?”

  I smiled, as I held my phone to my ear, while strolling down the hallway, leading to my apartment. “For what, Flame?”

  “To kick it. Shit, Ion know. Watch Netflix or something.”

  I giggled. “You got me fucked up. Aint no Netflix and chill this way, nigga.”

  “Aw, there you go. You aint no fun, man.”

  “Yeah, I bet.”

  “Seriously. I be trying to rub ya feet and shit, but you be on that bullshit. Scared to come around a nigga. I aint gon bite.”

  “I aint scared of nothing. I just know that you aint gon behave, so I can’t be in your presence.”

  “Look at you. Loyal to a fault, huh? But it’s alright. You gon come around eventually. I got faith.”

  “I hear you,” I sighed, as I approached my door.

  Taraj had just dropped me off, after I’d hung at her crib for most of the day. We’d been chilling, running our mouths, while I ignored Omari’s calls. His ass was hardly ever at home, but the moment I stepped out, he wanted to call. So, I let his ass catch the voicemail, showing him that a bitch wasn’t pressed. Still, deep down, I missed his ass, and had decided to come home, hoping to see his face.

  While I was getting off the elevators, Flame had hit me up, as he’d been doing for the past week. He’d usually try to convince me to come see him, and I’d always turn him down, although a part of me was flattered that he still tried. But now, it was time to go into my home, and deal with whatever reality I’d face.

  “It was good hearing from you, but let me call you back.”

  Omari

  “Damn,” I moaned, as I felt her warm mouth around my dick.

  My eyes were closed, after taking a much-needed nap, and had been awaken by the feel of a slippery wet mouth engulfing me.

  “You came through the door, and got straight to it, huh?” I rubbed her hair, but was thrown off when I felt braids, versus Mya’s natural soft hair. “The fuck?” my eyes popped open.

  Peering down, I saw Nerie down on her knees, while her mouth was stuffed with my dick.

  “Say…” I got out, attempting to escape her clutches, before the front door was pushed open, and Mya stepped inside.

  “What the fuck is going on?!” she raged.

  Mya

  I guess this was my bad karma. I don’t know. But I’d never felt this kind of pain resonate through my body. The nigga that I’d put all my hopes and dreams into had thrown it all away to get his dick sucked on the couch I’d handpicked.

  I lost it.

  “You dirty bitch!” I seethed, while yanking Nerie back by her braids.

  “Baby, I didn’t do shit,” Omari pleaded his case, jumping up.

  “Shut up!” I spewed, sounding possessed, as I pounded into Nerie’s face.

  “Calm down,” he swooped me up, pulling me away from her. “You can’t fight with my baby, girl.”

  “Fuck you, fuck this baby, fuck everything!” I roared at the top of my lungs.

  “Baby, don’t say that,” he begged, sounding like her was on the verge of tears. “I promise to God I wasn’t doing nothing. She caught me in my sleep,” he claimed.

  “Shut up!” I gritted, before pummeling his chest.

  He placed me in a bear hug, while Nerie scrambled to her feet, and bolted out the door.

  “Bitch, let me go,” I gritted, before viciously head-butting him.

  “Aww,” he groaned, as blood dripped from his nose, and he unwittingly released me.

  Spinning around, I threw everything I had at him, catching him in the face a few times. Of course, my blows didn’t seem to move him much, as he remained in my space, trying to wrap his arms around me. Blood continuously fell, as he was all over me, refusing to let me go. Desperate to get away, I lifted a knee, ramming it into his dick.

  “Fuck!” he vented, as I folded his ass.

  Frantically, I glanced around the living room, searching for the purse I’d dropped in a haste to whup Nerie’s ass. Spotting my phone, I quickly snatched it off the floor. I noticed that my purse had skidded across the floor, landing in the dining area, but with Omari standing a few feet away, I knew that he’d probably have the opportunity to grab me again. So instead, I sprinted for the door. By the time I was a few feet into the hallway, he snatched me up once again.

  “Baby, just let me talk to you.”

  “Nooooo!” I cried out. “There aint nothing to say. Let me go, before I scream!”

  “Let’s just go in the house,” he insisted, basically dragging me back to our door.

  “No, no, no!” I screamed. “Somebody help meeeee!” I yelled, causing several neighbors to open their doors.

  One white neighbor stuck his hea
d out. “Hey, pal, let her go. I’m calling the cops.”

  “Fuck!” he spat, before releasing me.

  Taking the opportunity to make my exit, I jogged to the elevators, which was a struggle. I was winded, but I kept it pushing, hopping onto the elevator the minute the doors slid open. Figuring that I wouldn’t have much time to get away, before Omari made his way downstairs, I considered who I could call.

  I was a nervous wreck by the time I reached the lobby of the building. Thinking that I needed to get the hell away, as soon as possible. I called the one person who I felt would come the quickest.

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  I breathed heavily, trying not to break down into sobs. “Flame, can you please come get me?”

  Chapter 30

  Mya

  I rolled over in the bed, realizing that the sun was out. Apparently, I’d slept through the night, and it was now a new day. My eyes felt puffy, after crying more than I had probably done in my entire life. A part of me almost refused to believe that this was my life, and Omari had done this to me, while I was carrying his child; no less.

  “I see you finally up,” Flame acknowledged, as he stepped into the room.

  “Yeah,” I yawned, sitting up in the bed. “How long have you been here?”

  He sat at the edge of his bed. “For about a hour.”

  “So, you haven’t been to sleep?”

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “Not yet.”

  “Well, what you waiting for?” I questioned, as his cell rang.