0373011318 (R)

by Amy Ruttan

  As her father finished the chorus, he glanced up and saw her there, giving her that special wink he always used to give her. Vivian looked away, clenching her fists in anger. It took all her strength not to hit him. It made her angry that he thought it could be the same.

  As if he didn’t know what he’d done.

  What he’d destroyed.

  And what she hated the most was that she saw the same in herself when she looked at Reece, knowing that she’d destroyed what they could have had when she’d chosen her career over him.

  He could’ve come with you too.

  Only Reece hadn’t wanted to leave his safety net. He’d told her that time and time again.

  Vivian took a seat at the bar and waited for her father.

  It didn’t take him long to fill the empty bar stool next to her.

  “I’m glad you came, Vivian,” he said. “I’m glad you’re giving me a chance to explain myself.”

  “I’m not here to listen to your explanation,” Vivian said calmly. “I’m here to tell you to keep away from Mom.”

  Her father looked shocked. “I’m her husband.”

  Vivian snorted. “You abandoned her. I don’t think your claim over her will hold up in a court of law. I’m her power of attorney and a neurosurgeon. A respected physician, not a sleazy lounge lizard.”

  “It’s clear you’re angry with me.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I wish you weren’t.”

  “What do you expect me to be? Happy that you’re back? I haven’t seen you since I was ten!” Her voice raised and she cleared her throat. “That day you told me you’d be back, but you never came back. You lied to both of us.”

  “I’m here now,” Hank said.

  “It’s too late.”

  “Look, I have to complete another set. Please stick around and then I’ll be done and we can go somewhere else. Get a coffee and I can explain myself.”

  “You really don’t have anything I want to hear.”

  “Please. Do this for me. You’re wrong about your mother not wanting to see me. You don’t know it all.” With that, her father left and returned to the stage.

  Vivian stood up to leave—no way was she going to stick around to listen to her father rewrite history—but something compelled her to sit back down and then she looked up to see Reece walking into the bar. He was wearing his black cowboy hat, blending in with the crowd.

  She didn’t know what he was doing here, didn’t want him here, but suddenly she was glad he was.

  “Reece,” she said as he took the seat her father had vacated. “What’re you doing here?”

  “I think I’m keeping tabs on you.” He nodded in the direction of some of the men, who were now shooting him daggers. “I told you this isn’t a place for a single girl to go by herself.”

  “I told you not to come.”

  He gave her a half smile. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t listen?”

  She grinned. “Very.”

  “How’s it going?” he asked.

  “Not well.” Vivian sighed. “He wants to explain himself.”

  “Does it hurt to hear him out?”

  “Yes. It does. He left my mother and me.” Vivian shook her head. “I really don’t know what he could possibly say to me. I know what he wants.”

  “Do you?” Reece asked.

  “Yes, he wants money. He wants a handout. Maybe I should just give him some money and he’ll leave again.”

  “You can’t just buy him off,” Reece said gently. Then he turned to look at the stage. “He’s playing my father’s songs.”

  “That’s all he knows. He worshipped your father. He wanted to be like your father, just as famous. He wanted that mansion in Belle Mead. And he was jealous of my mother, who had a shot at a career. So jealous he ruined it for her. That’s why she was so adamant about me putting my career first. She didn’t want me to make the same mistake she did.”

  “A mansion in Belle Mead and my father’s life is not something to aspire to,” Reece said quickly and she could see the pain in his eyes as well.

  “Thank you for coming. I know...you didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know, but I wanted to. Your mother is my patient and I wanted to do what was right for her. I want to protect her too. Even if she’s not in my trial anymore, she’s my patient. I’ll take over her file from whichever neurosurgeon was treating her for Alzheimer’s.”

  “Just her general practitioner had seen her. I was planning on finding someone to treat my mother. I thought I had more time.”

  She didn’t tell him that she was regretting the years she’d left her mother behind. That she had realized that she really was no better than her father.

  The set ended and she braced herself for dealing with her dad.

  He made his way over to them, pausing with uncertainty when he saw Reece.

  “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure,” her dad said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Hank Bowen, Vivian’s father.”

  “Pleasure,” Reece said, shaking his hand. “I’m Dr. Castle. I’m treating Mrs. Bowen for her Alzheimer’s.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Are you here to tell me to keep away from my wife too?”

  “Dad, don’t even start,” Vivian said. “Dr. Castle isn’t here to get involved. He’s here to support me and explain Mom’s condition to you.”

  “I know what Alzheimer’s is, Vivian.” Her father’s demeanor had changed so fast, he was sweating and though she didn’t smell the liquor she recognized the signs of him drinking.

  And if he had been drinking, she didn’t want to be around him.

  “I think I should go,” she said. “You’re clearly not in a state to talk about things.”

  “Don’t leave,” her father begged. “You need to listen to me, dammit.”

  Only she couldn’t. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes and she couldn’t hide them from Reece. She’d never cried in front of him before and here she was doing just that, in a seedy bar while her father ranted and raved behind her.

  “Please get me out of here,” she whispered, begging him to save her even though she didn’t deserve to be saved by him.

  He nodded and put his arm around her, leading her out of the bar.

  “Vivian, come back here! I need to explain.”

  Vivian tried to block his words from her ears as Reece’s strong arms came around her and he led her out of the bar. When she was outside, she began to tremble and Reece held her even more tightly. His arms felt so good around her.

  She’d missed this and she didn’t want to push him away. She needed him. Wanted him. She just wanted him to hold her close all night.

  Even if she could only have him for a moment.

  “Where’s your car?” he asked.

  “I took a taxi.”

  “Come on, I’ll take you home.” Reece led her over to his truck and helped her in. He slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine, pulling away from the Dead End and heading back to the other side of Nashville. “Where do you live?”

  Vivian rattled off the address and leaned back against the seat, watching the lights of the street lamps flicker by. He didn’t say anything to her and she was appreciative of that. He knew her so well.

  She didn’t deserve him.

  Reece pulled up in front of her house and walked her to the door. She unlocked the door and invited him inside.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “No, I’m not. I haven’t seen him in so long. I thought I’d gotten over the shock of seeing him at the hospital, but then tonight with him playing in that smoky club...it brought back so many painful memories.”

  “I understand that. My father wasn’t always a superstar.”

  “I guess you do get it.”

  “I do.” Reece cleared his throat. “I said once long ago we were the same. When you came back I didn’t believe it anymore, but now...”

  She nodded. “We’re the same.”

  His eyes were sparkling in
the dark and she reached up to touch his face, stroking his cheek. He leaned into her touch and reached up to take her hand, moving it away like he’d done countless times before.

  “I’m not sure if you should be doing that,” he said huskily. “If you keep doing that I’m liable to do something I won’t be able to stop.”

  Her pulse quickened with anticipation. “What if I don’t want you to stop?”

  “Oh, don’t say that unless you mean it,” he whispered against her neck.

  She didn’t need to answer him as she took off his cowboy hat and set it on the side table so she could see all of his face, run her hands through his short hair and stare up into those warm brown eyes she adored.

  “Stay with me tonight,” she begged. “Just tonight. One more time.”

  “If I knew better, I’d leave, but thankfully I don’t know any better.” He cupped her face with his strong hands and kissed her, just like he’d kissed her the other night at his cabin at the lake. She melted into him this time, really melted into him. It had been so long since she’d felt this way. Even though she’d told herself time and time again over their years apart that she was over him. She wasn’t and she’d been a fool to try and think that she was.

  Reece was the only man for her, but she’d ruined it and she would pay for that mistake the rest of her life. So for tonight she’d enjoy this stolen moment. She grabbed a hold of his flannel shirt and held it tight in her grasp, not wanting to let him go.

  Reece’s hands left her cheeks to move down her back, teasing her. She arched her body, trying to get closer to him. He broke off the kiss and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her up the stairs toward her bedroom at the end of the hall. They didn’t need to say anything as they stood with their foreheads pressed together.

  Vivian couldn’t remember wanting him this badly before, but in all the years she’d been away she’d thought of him like this. Close to her, his heart racing under her hand. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt, desperate to touch his skin, to run her hands over his chest. She wanted nothing between them.

  He slipped out of his shirt and she raked her fingers across his hard, broad, muscular chest, letting her hands trail down to the belt of his jeans, pulling him against her. He grabbed her hands by the wrists, pulling them away to kiss her. Hungrily.

  Reece’s kisses seared her flesh and she was completely lost to him as his lips trailed down her neck. His hands on her body, undressing her. When she was naked, he brought her to the bed and leaned over her.

  She was a fool to deny herself this for so long.

  He touched her everywhere, kissing her and making her want him. She arched up against him, her legs wrapped around his waist, clinging to him and begging him to take her. She wanted to forget, tonight. She wanted him to erase everything.

  All she wanted was to be in this moment with him.

  He moved away and slipped out of his jeans, coming back to the bed, settling between her thighs. They locked gazes as he thrust into her and she shed a tear, emotion overtaking her because though she’d accomplished so much these last seven years, her life was empty and lonely.

  She hadn’t realized that until this moment, joined with Reece, and it scared her to come to realize in her own way that she loved him and loving him was a dangerous thing indeed and it terrified her.

  As she climaxed he kissed her, tenderly wiping the tears from her eyes.

  * * *

  Reece propped himself on his elbow, watching her sleep. City lights were creeping through the slats of her blind, making her creamy-white skin look as if it was glowing. There was a blush to her cheeks and love bites on her neck, which made him smile.

  When she’d walked back into Cumberland Mills he’d sworn to himself that this would never happen again but, try as he might, he was lost to her. He couldn’t keep away from her. Vivian still owned his heart.

  He needed her and that scared him because he just wasn’t sure if he could trust her again to not leave and break his heart, but watching her sleep, her delicate hand on her chest, he knew that he would never want another woman as much as he wanted her.

  He’d always wanted her.

  There had never been another for him.

  She had such control over him and it was terrifying because, really, what kind of life could he give her? He didn’t know how to be a husband and a father. His only example was his own father and that had been terrible.

  “You’re nothing, Reece. Country music in your soul and you’re throwing it away for what? Nothing. You’re nothing.”

  “I am something, Dad. I am. I’m a healer. When your talent is wasted away, you’ll be nothing. I’ll always be a doctor.”

  “Get out of my house!”

  “With pleasure.”

  And those were the last words that he’d ever spoken to his father. He’d walked out of his father’s life and pursued his career in medicine. Yet now, looking back, he regretted it.

  He wished he could go back and make amends with his father, but it was too late. His father was dead. There was no second chance for them.

  Just like there was no second chance for him and Vivian.

  Vivian deserved someone who could give her what she wanted. She hadn’t had a normal upbringing either, but at least her mother had been there for her. She loved her mother. They had a good relationship. Reece didn’t have that with either of his parents. His mother had been a vapid, washed-up country diva who died in a car crash after a night of drinking. He wasn’t even sure if his parents had ever truly loved each other and Reece didn’t know if he could even give love when he wasn’t sure what it was himself. Besides, he still wanted roots and Vivian never had. He couldn’t hold on to her. He couldn’t be the person to hold her back, no matter how much he wanted her.

  There was a buzz and he sighed, realizing that his pager was going off. He got out of bed quietly and made his way to his discarded jeans, pulling out the pager to find he was getting called to the hospital to deal with an emergency.

  He sighed with regret. If he left, this spell, this stolen moment with Vivian would end, but he had to go. He pulled on his clothes as quietly as he could, but she stirred.

  “Where are you going?” she asked sleepily.

  “There’s a trauma that’s come into the hospital.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  “No, you need rest.”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I want to check on my mother anyways. Let me come. I don’t want to be alone.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Let’s go, then.”

  She dressed quickly and they headed out to his truck. Vivian’s house wasn’t far from Cumberland Mills and they both changed into their scrubs once they’d arrived. Vivian went off to her mother’s room and he headed down to Emergency.

  “Dr. Castle, he was demanding you look at him,” the trauma doctor on duty said. “It’s a stroke. I’ve started protocol for clot-busting medicine, but he won’t take it unless you came here to deal with him.”

  Reece frowned and pulled back the curtain.

  “Well, well. Look who finally showed up.” Vivian’s father was lying on the bed.

  “Mr. Bowen, you need to take the medicine Dr. Hayden prescribed. You’re having a stroke and this will help reverse the damage.”

  Hank just shook his head. “I haven’t touched liquor in years. She wouldn’t listen, you know. She wouldn’t hear me out when I tried to tell her that her mother and I made amends two years ago. I’m clean.” He tried to dig in his pocket and pulled out an AA chip, holding it up.

  “Mr. Bowen, please take the medicine or I will have to restrain you.”

  Hank threw the chip at him, but it didn’t get far as his left arm dropped like a sack of bricks and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The monitor flatlined.

  Reece cursed under his breath and pushed the alarm. “I need a crash cart in here stat!” He began CPR as Dr. Hayden lowered the bed flat.

  He wasn’t going to let Mr.
Bowen die before Vivian had a chance to make amends with her father. He wouldn’t let her suffer the way he did every day. He couldn’t let her live with the guilt of unfinished business with her father.

  * * *

  Vivian leaned over and kissed her mother on the cheek. Her mother opened her eyes and smiled. Vivian breathed an inward sigh of relief that her mother recognized her. She wasn’t sure her heart could take her mother calling her names and trying to assault her again.

  “Vivian, what’re you doing here?”

  She shrugged. “One of my patients has a surgery in a couple hours. A surgery I’m waiting results on. I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d come see you.”

  “That’s nice.” She closed her eyes. “Why was I sedated? The nurses said I was sedated when I woke up in the recovery room.”

  “You had a very bad blip, Mama. I’m glad you don’t remember.” And she was. She didn’t want her mother to remember that her father had been in this room and that her mother had slapped her. It would hurt her mother to know that she’d done that.

  “Oh, has it gotten worse?” Sandra asked.

  Vivian nodded. “I’m so sorry, Mama. You’re no longer a candidate for the Alzheimer’s trial. As soon as Dr. Castle discharges you, you’ll have to go home.”

  Her mother frowned. “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s not your fault you have this disease.”

  Sandra nodded. “So what will we do? Your job? You were looking for that promotion.”

  Vivian shook her head. “Not anymore. I resigned from consideration. I’ll just drop down to part-time hours and focus on my research.”

  “No, you can’t do that. Your career is important to you.” Sandra tried to sit up. “You gave up so much to obtain the career you deserved. The career you wanted. I’m so proud that you were able to follow your dreams when I couldn’t. Your job is too important and you can’t cut back.”

  “You are important too, Mama. More important than any job.” She sighed. “When I’m at the hospital we’ll get a nurse in to help you.”

  “I don’t need a nurse, Vivian.”

  “You do, Mama. You...” She trailed off, but couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Dad was here.”

  Her mother didn’t seem surprised by this. “Oh, he came back.”