A Silence in the Heart (Holmes Crossing Book 4)

by Carolyne Aarsen

  "And how do you know about the geezer guys?" David said with a grin.

  "David! Have some respect! Cor is a good person, and Father Sam is a priest." Tracy pretended to look shocked. "Besides, those two men have inhabited that space since the first day Dani and I were brave enough to skip school and come here."

  "You skipped classes?" David heaved an exaggerated sigh. "And you dare to accuse me of being disrespectful? Talk about your double standard."

  "Skipping class is expected of high-school students. A rite of passage." Tracy's attention was caught by a gaggle of teens clustered around a table, talking too loudly, laughing too hard, all hoping to be the center of attention rather than the loser on the outskirts. "And you could never accuse the two of us of not meeting expectations."

  "Danielle is a good friend, isn't she?"

  Tracy smiled at that. "My best. I spent more time at her place than I did at my own."

  David rested his elbows on the table, his movement toward her creating a circle of intimacy. He reached across the table. Took her hand in his as his expression grew serious. "I want you to know that you matter a lot to me. More than anyone has before."

  She gave a nervous laugh. "This sounds a little ominous."

  David ran his rough fingers over hers. "It isn't. Not really. But before we go to the meeting with Danielle, I just want to . . ." He hesitated, kept his eyes averted from hers. "Well, explain a few things."

  Tracy swallowed. Tried to pull her hand away just in case he was going to tell her something bad. Something like “I found out that your mother is a crazy alcoholic and I don't want to see you anymore.”

  Focus, Tracy. Not everything in your life is about your mother.

  "So. Here you are." A shadow fell across the table. Stifling a light sigh, Tracy looked up. Talk about lousy timing.

  Edgar Stinson stood beside them, his arms folded across his chest, his greasy cap pulled low over his eyes.

  "Where's my grandson?" Edgar's narrow eyes held hers, waves of intimidation washing over her.

  "Pardon me?" David asked, still holding Tracy's hand. She was thankful for an anchor in a suddenly topsy-turvy moment.

  "I'm looking for that Kent boy." Edgar's gaze flicked to David and then back to Tracy, as if he knew she was the one he could bully. "He's not with his mother in his apartment."

  Because his mother was in the hospital.

  "We're not going to discuss that with you," David said.

  Tracy sent him a grateful look. Squeezed his hand harder.

  "You better. He's my grandson."

  "You don't know that for sure," Tracy said, finally finding her voice, though she wished she sounded more confident. Standing up to Edgar Stinson after months of careful treatment of him was a new thing for her. And dangerous ground to be walking on. "There's no proof at all that he's related to you."

  "You sound pretty sure 'bout that." Edgar gave her a half smile that slithered through Tracy's midsection. "And so am I. Did you notice a spot on his back? Shaped like an egg?"

  Tracy did remember. Had seen it whenever she bathed and dressed the little boy. How would Edgar know about it? Lucky guess?

  Edgar's nasty smile grew tight, as if he had heard her silent question. "I seen it a couple of times when he was a baby. When his mom came to our house. Seems she was pretty anxious then for my Steve to claim him."

  Denial spun through Tracy. She didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to know that Edgar was more connected to that precious little boy than she was.

  Edgar laid his oil-grimed hands on the table and leaned closer to Tracy, invading her personal space, his eyes burning into hers like a laser.

  "Excuse me, Mr. Stinson. I don't think Tracy wants to talk to you right now." Dear David. Tracy was so glad he was there.

  Edgar kept his cold eyes on Tracy, his smile growing. "I think this little lady does. And you know why? I think she wants to talk if she wants to keep that acreage she's been pestering me about."

  Tracy just stared as the sinister meaning of his words sank in. "What are you talking about?" Panic crept along the edges of her thoughts, waiting for the implied threat to fall.

  Edgar's smile dropped away. "You stay away from my grandson. And his mom. Or you're going to lose that acreage."

  He was actually doing it.

  The panic jumped and rushed into her mind. Followed closely by oily fear. Stay calm. Don't be bullied.

  "Tracy . . ." David said, but Tracy shook her head.

  "I'll take care of this," she said. She turned back to Edgar. She had to do this on her own. "We signed an agreement on that land, Edgar. You have two thousand of my dollars for the subdivision. The deal has nothing to do with Kent, whether he's your grandchild or not."

  Edgar laughed shortly. "But it does, missy. I can tear up that agreement. It won't mean nothing."

  "Tracy has a signed copy of the agreement," David said.

  Edgar shook his head as if dealing with a particularly stupid child. "I talked to my lawyer about that. Said that according to some law, the person who draws up the agreement is the one who hasta make it clear." He turned his icy gaze back to Tracy. "I don't think it's clear. I don't have to 'bide by it."

  "You agreed to sell it to me." Couldn't she come up with anything more substantial than that?

  He shrugged, his coat riding up. "And I will. You get that social worker off his case. Let my Steve take care of him."

  "We can't do that. Kent's mother is his legal guardian." At least until Danielle set up her case. Which they were going to be discussing in just a few minutes.

  Edgar shrugged her comments away. "She's not capable of carin' for him. I am. Now, you stay away from that boy or lose the land."

  Tracy's panicked gaze flitted to David. He shook his head imperceptibly. She felt his strength seep from his warm fingers into her. And she looked back at Edgar.

  "Why are you doing this?"

  "We Stinsons take care of our own. That's all." He didn't budge. Didn't let his gaze so much as flicker.

  Fear clawed at Tracy, pulling down her defenses. You'll lose the land. Your dream.

  He's just a bully. He's just making noise. You've stood up to him before; you can do it again.

  The memory of Kent's fear around David, around "Uncle Steve," solidified her resolve.

  "Sorry, Mr. Stinson. I love Kent, and I'm going to do what's best for him. And that means I'm going to take care of him." She looked him in the eye. "Our agreement should have nothing to do with Kent. And if you care for him, you'll want what's best for him as well."

  Edgar held her gaze a moment, as if testing her resolve. Then, with a snort, he pulled some folded-over papers out of his pocket and threw them on the table. "The deal is over, missy. You just lost your land."

  And then he left.

  Tracy's breath felt as if it had been sucked away with his leaving. All she heard play over and over again was you lost your land.

  It was over. Her dream of the past few years was dead.

  Ice pooled in her chest and then seeped out into her blood, chilling her arms, her hands. Now what?

  Dimly she became aware of David's warm fingers wrapped around her hand, as if pulling her back.

  "Hey, Tracy. Are you okay?"

  Cold fingers gripped her temples as she slowly turned back to David. His hazel eyes, warm with concern, held hers. He'd seen it all. Seen her humiliation and the dashing of her hopes.

  She clung to him with one hand while she reassembled the papers Edgar had tossed in front of her.

  It was the agreement. At the bottom, Edgar had crossed out his signature in bold red strokes and had written Invalid underneath.

  She closed her eyes, pulling herself down to the quiet center she would retreat to at other dark times of her life. Times when her mother was stumbling around the apartment, calling her stupid and useless. When her mother's equally drunk boyfriend of the moment would yell at them both. And the even harder times when no one was yelling at anyone because s
he was all alone.

  This isn't fair, Lord. I didn't ask for this. I don't deserve this. I've done whatever I could. Was this small dream so much to wish for? To ask for?

  She kept her eyes fixed unseeingly on the paper as she pulled her hand out of David's and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding in the pain. But what else could she do? She wasn't going to give up Kent for some land.

  But, oh, how it hurt.

  Then David was beside her, his arm over her shoulder.

  Her first reaction was to retreat. To find a quiet place to lick her wounds. To regain her strength. But from here, she had to go to the meeting about Kent.

  Where his future would be decided.

  "It's okay, Tracy," David said, still holding her, ignoring the stiffness of her body. "He signed the agreement. I witnessed it. We'll get through this."

  It was the we that melted her resistance, warmed her cold soul. And with a light sigh, she leaned against him, let his strength hold her up.

  She rested her hand on his broad chest. Just for a moment.

  "I'm glad you were here, David," she said softly.

  "Me too," he whispered, brushing a light kiss over her forehead.

  She drew in a long, slow breath and pulled away. "I don't want anything to eat," she said. "Can we go?"

  "Sure." He slipped out of the booth, standing aside to let her get up. His hand at her back was a gentle support as they walked out. She didn't know if she could have made it alone.

  "Do you want me to drive you to the meeting?" David asked as they walked across the parking lot to their vehicles. A cool wind sifted around them, pulling away what little warmth Tracy had left in her body.

  "I think I'll take my car, thanks."

  He put his forefinger under her chin and gently lifted it. His eyes held hers with an intensity that kindled her own love, and then he bent down, brushed a kiss over her lips. "This isn't over yet."

  "Thanks, David," she said, cupping his warm face in her chilled hand, her emotions still in turmoil. She smiled. Then dared some more. "I love you."

  He caught her hands, squeezing them so tightly, he almost hurt her. "Oh, Tracy. I wish . . ." He bit his lips and then gave her a quick kiss. "No matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you too. More than I've ever cared for anyone." His gaze bored into hers, as if underlining his words, and Tracy felt a vague premonition of fear. "Always remember."

  "I will," she said, puzzled at his intensity.

  "I'll see you at the meeting." He gave her another quick kiss and then strode toward his truck.

  Tracy glanced down at the paper and then pushed it back into her purse. She had made the right decision. She could go through this with David's love.

  Okay. This was it.

  Tracy took another quick look at herself in the rearview mirror of her car. Licked her lips once more and pressed her hand to her pounding heart. A heart that already felt bruised, but that still had so much on the line. Her dream had been snatched away, and in spite of David's brave words, she didn't think she had any chance of seeing it back.

  She had given up a chance on her dream for Kent's sake. Which now meant that she didn't have the acreage she had told social services she would be moving to. Kent wouldn't have the home she had hoped to provide for him.

  Please, Lord. Don't let that make a difference. Don't let them turn me down because of it. I can give this boy a lot.

  And she had David. She had told him she loved him. Had made that huge step into the unknown of trusting him.

  In spite of her raging disappointment, she felt a warm glow wrap itself around her heart.

  David loved her.

  God loved her.

  Kent loved her.

  And she so badly wanted to be a mother figure to him. To help him.

  She held the thought a moment, as if holding on to Kent. Then she grabbed her purse and stepped out of her car into the brisk fall morning. Enough thinking. It was time.

  As she walked down the long hallway to the meeting room, she wished Danielle could have done this over the phone rather than make this an official meeting.

  A case conference, no less.

  Tracy got to the room and pulled open the door, stepping inside.

  "Hey, Tracy. You're the first one." Danielle looked up from the papers she was assembling on a long table. Her smile was offset by her I-mean-business suit: a navy-blue blazer with a high collar and matching narrow skirt. This was the suit she wore to court dates and business meetings. It was as austere as the room.

  A sliver of panic born of her momentary vulnerability and the faint chill of the room wedged into Tracy's mind. The rustling of Danielle's papers echoed as she slipped them into a file folder and closed it.

  "Who else is going to be here?" Tracy asked, glancing around the government-issue room. An easel stood at one end of the table. Metal chairs with padded seats were scattered along each side.

  Cold. Unfeeling. Unwelcoming.

  She had hoped David would be here by now. He had been right behind her when they'd left the parking lot of the inn.

  "David, of course. And Juanita's caseworker, Oden Holmgren." Danielle moved the file over one inch. "I also got a call from Emily and Jack Friedman. They are foster parents as well and were also interested in Kent's case."

  Tracy frowned. "What is this? An auction?"

  Danielle walked around the table, her hand reaching out to Tracy. "No. It's just a group of people interested in Kent's well-being."

  How would Emily and Jack have known about this?

  David?

  Tracy pushed the thought aside. David knew how much she loved Kent. He wouldn't sabotage her situation. Emily and Jack were foster parents. They probably had their own information network.

  The door squeaked open. Tracy glanced backward, pleased to see David step into the room. An ally.

  Then, right behind him, came Emily and Jack.

  David walked to Tracy's side, his expression unreadable. Tracy looked back to Danielle, who was fussing with some papers.

  And a sick dread spiraled through her.

  She brushed past David. Pulled the chair back from the table and sat. She twined her fingers through each other, vague fears chasing each other, unformed and frightening.

  Relax, she warned herself. You don't know what this is about. Kent has been staying with you. You're the one who told Danielle about him. You've prayed and prayed about it. Let it go.

  She repeated the phrases as David sat beside her, Emily and Jack across from her. As they waited for Oden, she kept her attention focused on her bloodless hands. By the time he came, Tracy's feet were chilled with a cold sweat and her stomach was a tight knot.

  Danielle's introductions barely registered. She only glanced at Oden Holmgren out of politeness. She couldn't do much more than that.

  "Of course our first priority in this situation is Kent's well-being," Danielle was saying after the introductions. "Our second is the relationship with Kent's mother, Juanita."

  Tracy blew out her breath, pulled in another. Looked up at Danielle.

  Danielle balanced a pen between her hands as her gaze flicked over the people gathered around the table. "Juanita told me the nearest family she has is a father who, at the moment, is imprisoned in Quebec."

  "Juanita did mention her father," Oden said. "She stated unequivocally that her family was in no way a consideration. She has a sister and a grandmother, both of whom reside in the Maritimes. Too far away to be considered either."

  A gentle calm settled on Tracy as she saw other possibilities slowly get removed. Just Jack and Emily remained. "And the boy's father?" David asked, his eyes fixed on Danielle.

  "Juanita won't name him, though I did get a phone call from Edgar Stinson claiming to be the boy's grandfather. We're not pursuing that angle."

  Relief sluiced through Tracy. That particular avenue was closed.

  Danielle turned to her. "Tracy, I was wondering if you could give us your view of Kent's condit
ion right now?" Tracy smiled at Danielle, pleased at the recognition.

  "Kent is settling nicely into my home," she said, forcing herself to sound calm. "He misses his mother, but the visits to the hospital have helped." David sat askew on his chair, but his eyes were on the paper in front of him. She couldn't look at Emily and Jack. Didn't want to acknowledge them or even wonder what they were here for. "He's a bright little boy, and I've become extremely fond of him."

  "I understand you live in a one-bedroom apartment," Oden was saying, leaning forward into her view.

  Tracy only nodded, swallowing down an unwelcome knot of pain and anger. Half an hour ago, she would have been able to lay out her future plans. Her house. The wonderful open spaces that Kent would be able to play in.

  "And this is important because . . ." David asked, arching an eyebrow at the caseworker.

  "I'm speaking on behalf of Juanita, who also wants the best for Kent," Oden said.

  "He lived in a one-bedroom apartment with his mother," Tracy snapped, her anger spilling out. "It wasn't a problem then."

  "With his mother being the operative words," Oden replied.

  "I believe I can give Kent what he needs," Tracy said, not sure she liked the direction Oden was taking the conversation.

  "Tracy was the one who was involved with him before his mother disappeared," Danielle broke in, her eyes on Oden. "And she was the one who filed the initial report."

  First David, now Danielle, Tracy thought, relaxing ever so slightly back into her chair. She wasn't alone, after all.

  Danielle opened the file folder in front of her. "Now we need to decide what we can do for both Kent and his mother that will give them the help and support they need to maintain their relationship."

  "Juanita will be released from the hospital tomorrow," Oden said. "I can't see why Kent cannot be put back into her care."

  "I've done some research into Juanita and Kent's background," Danielle said, pulling out another piece of paper. "There have been reports of neglect in other places they've lived. And while they've been living here, Tracy has reported a few alarming situations concerning Kent to me previous to Juanita being in the hospital. At the moment, the landlord has served an eviction notice, so she technically has no place to live. You've got a copy of that report, Oden?" He nodded.