Love is a Fire

by Lyssa Layne

  “Everything okay?”

  She gave a quick nod. “I’m going to grab some things and stay at my place for a few days. I need to clear my head.”

  She knew she’d be back, but tonight, she needed space, she needed to be alone. She needed comfort and familiarity, what she really needed was her father, the only man she’d ever fully trusted.

  Nick jumped up. “What? Katy, don’t! I’ll apologize if that’s what you want, but please, stay here. This is your home now, baby.”

  Tears burned her eyes, but Katy didn’t acknowledge his plea as she walked past him. It only took her a few minutes to gather the items she needed. From the bedroom, she could hear Jesse and Nick arguing, but as she entered the living room, both men stopped their conversation and stared at her.

  Katy went straight to Nick and without saying a word, she rested her hands on his chest and gently pressed her lips to his. Nick wrapped his arms around her, holding her close while he begged her not to leave. Katy lingered, not wanting to let him go. She had to fight the urge to stay in the arms of the man she loved, but she had to leave.

  Looking into his blue eyes filled with angst, she muttered sorry and broke away from him. As soon as she closed the door to Jesse’s truck, she started crying until she drifted off to sleep. When she woke up, she was in her father’s house, a place she always felt safe.

  ***

  Katy lay in her old, familiar bed staring at the ceiling as her baby boy did gymnastics. She smiled as one hand rested on her belly, feeling the movement. She wished Nick was lying beside her sharing this moment, but instead, she was alone in her father’s empty house.

  Katy heard someone walking up the stairs and smiled as she saw Jesse enter the room. She still sometimes wondered what he meant about having already found his queen, but with everything going on, she didn’t have time to think too much about it. She motioned for him to come to the bed. When he sat down, she placed his hand on her stomach and his face lit up into a grin.

  “Wow, that’s little Garrity, huh?”

  “Sure is. If he’s this active now then we’re in trouble when he gets out.”

  Jesse moved his hand to follow the baby’s movement. He spoke without taking his eyes off the baby. “You ready to go back?”

  It had been three days since she’d left the city. She knew she needed to face both men, but she was enjoying the peace and solitude. Nick had sent Jesse by every day to check on her so he could report back and let him know everything was okay with his wife and baby.

  “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be ready.”

  Jesse stood and headed toward the door. He stopped before he walked out and looked over his shoulder. “Kate, he loves you more than I’ve ever seen him love anyone. He’s a good man.”

  Katy’s eyes filled with tears as he turned and left the room. Her phone buzzed and she glanced down to read the text message, wiping away her tears. It read: Baby, I miss you. Please come home.

  Nick had spent the last three days groveling. He sent flowers every day. He texted her every couple hours and he called her first thing when he woke up and last thing before he went to bed. Katy missed Nick so much and imagined he was just as miserable without her. She loved him too much to hold a grudge and she couldn’t wait to get back into his arms. She quickly typed back: I’ll be home when your tour is over.

  ***

  Nick pumped the thirty pound dumbbells up and down, grunting as he struggled to do one more rep. Three days had passed since he’d seen his wife and even longer than that since he held her, since he kissed her. He’d barely slept in the time she’d been gone and he longed to smell her hair and feel their baby moving inside her. He dropped the dumbbells with a loud thud and chugged his water.

  He walked out of the fire house and started jogging around the building. He’d allowed his job to take priority over Katy, his baby. What the hell had he been thinking? They were his world now, he couldn’t take risks like he used to. His main responsibility now had to be getting home safely to his family.

  Then there was that asshole doctor. Nick didn’t know why he let Jeremiah get under his skin. Katy was married to him, she had picked him not Jeremiah. For some unknown reason, Nick feared Katy would realize the mistake she’d made picking a firefighter over a doctor. Jeremiah’s comments haunted him. What had he meant by them? Was Katy hiding something from him? Even if she was, Nick didn’t care, he needed her back.

  As he turned the corner of the building, he saw his best buddy walking toward the station. Nick stopped in his tracks. Thank God for Jesse these days. It was a relief knowing Katy was never alone when he was at work, but these last few days, he’d been a godsend. Nick hated Katy not staying at their house with him, but knowing Jesse was taking care of her was the reassurance that allowed him to give her the space she requested.

  Jesse crossed his arms as he stood on the sidewalk. Nick knew his friend was upset with him because of the risk he’d taken at the fire. But he also knew Jesse would get over it soon enough, like he had the other times he’d made similar decisions. As Nick walked closer to Jesse though, his expression was different. Nick slowed down trying to understand what was going on behind Jesse’s arched eyebrows and stern expression. Both men stood facing each other.

  Nick gave a quick nod before he asked, “How is she?”

  Jesse’s face lit up with anger. “She’s fuckin’ scared. What the hell were you thinking? First, you risked your life for a meth head, then you attack her ex. You know she’s already afraid about your job, but then you physically hurt someone? She’s scared of you now, Garrity.”

  Nick’s stomach dropped and he mumbled, “I would never hurt her.”

  “I know that’s what I told her.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Jesse didn’t say anything and Nick looked up. He recognized the look in Jesse’s eyes. Katy had gotten to him, too. She had that way of making everyone fall in love with her. Nick grinned as he put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders. At least he knew Katy would always be taken care of.

  “I appreciate all you’ve done for us. It’s good to know someone else feels the same way about her.”

  Jesse didn’t acknowledge Nick’s comment. As they walked into the fire station, Jesse commented, “Don’t break her heart, Garrity.”

  ***

  Katy stood outside the door, her nerves eating her up. She knocked again waiting for him to answer. She was just about to leave when the door flung open. He stood there, unshaven, unshowered, and probably more than a little drunk. He leaned forward and looked behind her.

  “What? You didn’t bring your Neanderthal of a husband with you?”

  She ignored Jeremiah’s comment and asked, “Can I come in?”

  Jeremiah turned his back, walking into what was once their apartment. Katy followed and closed the door behind her. He made his way to the Ginotti sofa his mother had bought them as an apartment warming gift. It was the most God-awful, hideous piece of furniture Katy had ever seen, and Jeremiah agreed, although neither of them ever told his mother that. He took a seat and picked up his glass of Scotch. Katy sat beside him, setting her purse on the coffee table. Neither spoke until Katy pushed a lock of his hair out of his eyes.

  “Jer, I’m really sorry about what Nick did.”

  He didn’t comment. Katy sighed and continued. “Tell me what I can do to make this better. I told him you’re a part of my life and he needs to accept that.”

  Jeremiah looked at Katy and scoffed. “A part of your life? Bullshit, Katy! I’m only a part of your life when you need me. I stood by you after your father died, even when you called off our wedding the month before. You pushed me away and didn’t talk to me for months, then you ran back to me like nothing had ever changed between us. Four months later, you ran off again, calling me only when you wanted sex. Now that you’re pregnant with his kid, you don’t need me.”

  Katy stared at the berber carpet, her face burning as she knew Jeremiah’s words were true. His fingers fou
nd her chin and pulled her face to him.

  His spoke more gently as he said, “Knockout, if you hadn’t miscarried, you would’ve never left me. Nick wouldn’t even be in the picture.”

  Tears streamed down her face. Her vision blurry, Jeremiah leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. His hand moved to her neck as his lips devoured hers and his tongue hungrily found the inside of her mouth. Katy knew it was Highland Park Scotch that Jeremiah was drinking, but despite its price tag, it tasted old and stale as he kissed her. Katy broke the kiss and wiped her eyes. Jeremiah sat back on the sofa, lust still in his eyes.

  “Nick is in the picture. He shouldn’t have attacked you and I’m sorry he did, but Jer, we’re done. There is no more Katy and Jeremiah and there never will be.”

  Katy watched his face fall as she stood up and marched out of his apartment.

  16 CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “Dr. Malone, are you ready for this? It’s going to be a lengthy surgery, probably six hours, if not longer,” Dr. Liam Ungsheim informed her. Katy had received the research grant she applied for and was assisting with a new heart valve procedure with the veteran doctor. Katy sent out quite a few inquiries and found that he was the best in the field, always on the cutting edge of new procedures.

  In the doctors’ lounge, the two discussed the surgery they were about to perform. She stood up, her stomach displayed in all of its pregnant glory. She placed her hand on her back for support and nodded.

  “Yes, sir. It will be my first transcatheter replacement, but I’ve been studying the technique as well as practicing in the lab.”

  “Good, that’s what I like to hear.” He smiled and gestured toward her swollen abdomen. “How far along are you?”

  Katy ran her hand over her belly as she answered, “Thirty-three weeks.”

  She had officially made it to the third trimester without any complications, or any more drama. Nick was bending over backwards to please her while Jeremiah stayed as far away as possible.

  Dr. Ungsheim gave an approving nod. “Ah, the home stretch. My wife is due in six weeks with our third, so I know all about how exhausting pregnancy can be. You’ll take a break every half hour.”

  Katy conceded with a nod, not that there was any chance she would disagree with a superior, or an expert like Dr. Ungsheim. They walked to the operating room making small talk about pregnancy, labor, and babies. While she could perform a heart valve replacement, for some reason the thought of being responsible for such a tiny human being still frightened her. She was also still carrying the fear that any time she loved someone, something bad happened to them.

  An hour and a half into the surgery and things were moving along smoothly. Dr. Ungsheim told Katy to take a break and rest for a thirty minutes before coming back to the operating room. He assured her that there was plenty more for her to learn and she wouldn’t miss a thing.

  Katy turned the corner toward the emergency room entrance holding her scrub cap in her hand. She rolled her neck trying to stretch out her muscles. A fire truck outside the door caught her eye. Her heart started to race as she walked to the nurses’ station. Typically, she and Nick texted each other throughout their shifts, but she hadn’t heard from him yet since he knew she’d be in surgery the majority of the day.

  Katy immediately recognized Murph standing outside a patient’s room. She picked up her pace and started to run to him. Jesse saw her coming and stepped around Murph to stop her. He grabbed her shoulders and held on to her as she fought him trying to get around to see who was in the room.

  “Jesse, let me go!” she demanded, trying to get out of his grip.

  “Kate, stop. Let me talk to you first.”

  She ignored him, struggling to get out of his grasp. After a few seconds, she finally gave up knowing she didn’t stand a chance as he was twice her size.

  Jesse lifted her chin and she fearfully looked into his eyes. He tried to comfort her as he said, “He’s okay.”

  Katy exhaled deeply then sucked her lower lip into her mouth while he continued. “His tank ran out of oxygen and he’s got some smoke inhalation, but he’s going to be fine.”

  Her legs started to sway and Jesse pulled her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and the tears started. Murph patted her back while Jesse reassured her that everything was going to be okay.

  “Mrs. Garrity?” She looked up and saw Jeremiah motioning her over. Of course, of all doctors on call, he was the one that got this case. She breezed past him while he started to explain what had happened. He spoke to her the way he would to any family member, not like the doctor she was. She grabbed the chart out of his hand and mumbled, “It’s doctor.”

  When she walked into the room, she saw Nick lying in the bed, eyes closed and hooked up to oxygen, his breathing still shallow. She skimmed the chart noting that his blood test showed his red blood cell count was low and Jeremiah had already ordered a chest x-ray. Katy racked her brain, wondering if there was anything else she would test for. She was so deep in concentration that she didn’t hear Jeremiah close the door behind him. He placed his hand on her back.

  “He’s going to be okay, Knockout. After his chest x-ray, we’ll keep him overnight for observation and then he can go home tomorrow. I know you’re scared, but you have to be strong for him.”

  Katy turned and looked up at him, grateful that he was there. Maybe they could be friends after all. Jeremiah smirked and followed up with, “Hell, he’s just a fireman so if he wakes up and sees his doctor wife bawling her eyes out, he’s going to think he’s in the afterlife.”

  Katy laughed and touched Jeremiah’s arm. “Thank you,” she whispered as she wiped at her eyes.

  He nodded and reached out to touch her belly. “I always knew you’d glow.”

  ***

  Katy sat by Nick’s bedside waiting for him to wake up. She’d missed the rest of the surgery and had asked Jeremiah to stand in for her. The Engine 58 crew stayed as long as they could, but had to leave when they were called out for another emergency. It was just after midnight when Katy heard Nick coughing. She stood up and moved to his side, helping him sit up, and put a straw to his lips to sip some water.

  She set the cup down and Nick struggled to make any noise as he choked out a nearly breathless cough. His voice barely made any noise when he opened his mouth to speak.

  “Sshhh…” Katy whispered and made him take another drink of water.

  Nick finally stopped coughing, but gave up on talking because it hurt so much. He touched her belly to ask how his son was.

  “He’s good.”

  Nick looked into her eyes.

  “I’m fine…scared, but fine.” She sighed as she answered his unspoken question.

  He nodded knowing he couldn’t have the conversation he wanted with her. He grabbed a notepad and wrote: “Go home and get some rest.” For once in their eight month marriage, Katy, exhausted both emotionally and physically, listened to her husband and went home.

  ***

  Katy was sound asleep when the front door closed and woke her up. She looked at the clock and saw it read 3:17AM. She sat up and called out, “Nick?” She waited for an answer until she saw Jesse appear at the door wearing a pair of athletic shorts and a FDNY T-shirt. Her face couldn’t hide the disappointment.

  Jesse smiled as he leaned against the door frame. “Don’t look so disappointed. I’m not that bad to look at, am I?”

  Katy sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t that Jesse was a bad sight, actually quite the opposite. He stood just a couple inches shorter than Nick, but their body builds were totally different. While Nick was husky and stout, Jesse was tall and lean. Both men were extremely muscular. He didn’t work out half as much as Nick, but he didn’t have an ounce of fat on him. He had jet black hair with a pair of emerald eyes that you could easily get lost in. So no, Katy didn’t mind looking at him, but she wished it was her husband coming to bed and not Jesse.

  Jesse nodded in her direction. “How you holding up?
”

  “Holding up pregnancy-wise or holding up due to the fact that my husband is lying in the hospital because of his job?”

  “Both.”

  “Little Ryan is doing great, but my blood pressure is high which isn’t surprising considering the circumstances.”

  “Good, and Nick?”

  “I thought you told me he was working smarter?” she grilled.

  “Kate, these things happen. It comes with the job, you can’t anticipate them.”

  The tears in Katy’s eyes spilled over and started rolling down her cheeks. Jesse walked over to her and pulled her into his arms as she cried herself back to sleep.

  ***

  When Katy woke up, her head rested on Jesse’s chest as he slept propped up against the headboard, his arms wrapped around her tightly. It wasn’t the same as Nick’s large muscles holding her safely against him, but it was nice to not have to wake up alone. She slipped out of bed to take a quick shower and get ready. When she came back to the bedroom, Jesse was waking up.

  “Morning sunshine,” he said as he rubbed his eyes.

  She walked to the bed and sat down to put her shoes on. She glanced over her shoulder at him and said, “Thanks for staying last night.”

  Jesse nodded as he walked around to where she sat. He picked up her Nikes and dropped to his knees, putting her shoes on one at a time Cinderella-style. The laces tied, he looked up at her. He cleared his throat before he said, “Kate, I’ve told you before, you’re part of the family now. You understand that, right?”

  She swallowed, not sure she wanted to be a part of this family.

  “Maybe we can’t promise our safety, but you’re married into FDNY now. I know it’s even scarier with a baby on the way, but know that no matter what happens, you’re taken care of. Braithre thar Gach Ni.”

  Katy nodded, blinking back tears, she only wanted to be taken care of by one man and that man was her husband.

  ***

  Nick mindlessly flipped through the channels. The nurse told him he could be released once his wife arrived to take him home. He hadn’t seen or talked to Katy since she left the night before which was only a few hours ago. He was slightly surprised when she’d taken him up on his words for her to go home and rest, but at the same time, he was glad that she did. When Jesse stopped by after his tour, Nick asked him to stay with Katy to ensure she really was resting. He was lucky to have a buddy like Jesse who didn’t mind helping him out.