Love is a Fire

by Lyssa Layne

  Nick heard the door open and flipped off the television. He frowned when he saw Jeremiah walk in. The doctor picked up his chart and jotted down a few notes. Nick watched him, his jaw clenched, wondering if Jeremiah was going to kick him while he was down. Jeremiah slammed the chart closed and hung it on the end of the bed. He looked up slowly and locked eyes with Nick.

  “You win.”

  Nick narrowed his eyes, not sure what Jeremiah meant.

  “She loves you, you win.”

  Nick wasn’t about to let his guard down. Jeremiah rolled his eyes and said, “I really have to spell it out for you, don’t I?”

  Nick didn’t like the way Jeremiah spoke, but he wanted to hear what he had to say so he nodded.

  Jeremiah sighed as he leaned against the window sill and explained, “I know her a lot better than you do, Garrity. When you ask if it’s okay to watch the game and she crinkles her nose ever so slightly that you might not even notice but then says yes, that means she’d rather have the television off so she can read. When she feels passionately about something, even something as little as where you order take-out, her cheeks get red and she talks almost an octave higher. When you make BLTs for dinner, you have to have jelly for her sandwich. It’s a nasty habit she learned from her dad.” Jeremiah laughed before he continued, “And when she says she loves someone, she means it and nothing will stop her from taking care of that person. Nick, she loves you. I know, not because she told me, but because I know her.”

  Jeremiah rubbed his forehead before he spoke again. “You’ll learn it all in due time, it took me eight years. Promise me you’ll take care of her?”

  Nick understood how easy it was to love Katy and he couldn’t imagine if he ever lost her. It must’ve been hell on Jeremiah when she walked away from him, especially after the past they’d shared. Nick swallowed and held out his hand. “I promise. If you can promise that you’ll remain in her life. She needs you, too.”

  The two men shook hands and didn’t speak another word.

  ***

  Jeremiah hadn’t been gone more than ten minutes when Katy entered Nick’s room. A grin grew across his face as he saw his beautiful, pregnant wife walk in. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown when he noticed the dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. As she approached his bed, she leaned over him, almost falling on top of him as she started sobbing. Nick rubbed her back, trying to calm her. When the tears subsided, she leaned back and Nick moved his thumbs across her cheeks to wipe the last of them away.

  His voice was gravelly as he spoke. “Baby, I’m okay, I promise.”

  Katy threw up her hands as she stood up and began pacing. “Enough of your promises, Nick! Stop making ones you can’t keep.”

  Nick’s heart sank as the words dug deep into his chest. She turned around to face him and glared.

  “Everyone keeps promising me that you work smart, you’re the best there is, and that nothing will happen to you. I keep being told that I’m part of the FDNY family, I’ll be taken care of, I have nothing to worry about. Braithre thar Gach Ni. Screw brothers!”

  Her face turned red and her voice got higher as she spoke. Nick recognized what Jeremiah has just described. He was also shocked to hear her mutter the Gaelic phrase he had tattooed on his arm. He knew Katy had seen it, she traced it while they lay in bed together talking late at night, but they had never discussed it or the meaning.

  “I don’t want to be taken care of by anyone other than you, Nick. I want you to come home to our son and me. Above all else, I want you to be my husband!” Katy sighed and let her voice return to its normal volume. “I just want you.”

  Nick reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb over hers. “Baby, I won’t promise you that I won’t get hurt, but I will promise you that I’ll always do everything I can to get home to you and our family safely.”

  Katy nodded as she leaned forward for a hug. “I’ll take that promise.”

  17 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “Ta-da!” Nick shouted as Katy waddled into the baby’s room. She had let Nick decorate and set the room up by himself. He had shot down her contemporary ideas for the nursery and she knew there was no way to avoid it—Baby Garrity was going to have a firefighter themed room whether she liked it or not.

  Katy had one hand on her back to support herself as she looked around at the red, white, and black that covered the room. There was the firefighter’s emblem painted on the wall complete with the markings of Engine 58. Books filled the shelves, mainly firefighter related, and the same picture of Nick, Ryan and Andy that hung in Nick’s locker sat on the shelf. There was also a framed picture of Katy in her Dr. K.O. Malone lab coat sporting the full pregnant belly.

  She laughed, thinking about the day Nick had taken the picture. Ever since the accident, Nick was over the top about checking in with Katy. He had dropped by the hospital during his tour and insisted on taking her picture. Katy declined and held her hands up in front of her face until Nick started making monkey noises and jumping around like one. She tried not to, but she laughed until she cried. Nick took the opportunity, snapped the picture, gave her a kiss, and ran outside to his crew that was waiting on him.

  Nick told Katy he hated to see how upset she had been when he was lying in that hospital bed. The accident combined with his conversation with Abby made him realize he shouldn’t make her a promise he couldn’t keep. Instead, he did what he could to reassure her, so he called or texted her every chance he got. If they were out on the engine, he’d make them stop by the hospital so he could run in to see her.

  Katy was thirty-eight weeks along and they were in the home stretch. Nick didn’t want to risk anything going wrong for either her or the baby. He wouldn’t let her lift a finger at home, making sure she was off her feet whenever she wasn’t at the hospital. She refused to take off work, insisting that she needed to know how her research project was going although Nick would have preferred her to be resting instead of working. Nick cooked, cleaned, and took care of her however he could. He gave her full-body massages, mainly focusing on her feet since she was on them all day. He also insisted she stop running. Katy put up a fight on that one, but it was getting harder for her so she decided to concede and let it be Nick that made the decision and not her.

  Nick anxiously watched her as she looked around the nursery. Her face wasn’t giving much away so he took her hand and guided her to the glider. “Okay, you sit here.” He handed her a teddy bear and began to explain, “Now, this is Ryan—”

  Katy laughed. “I hope this isn’t what our child looks like.”

  Nick dropped to his knees and took her hand. “Don’t worry, we’re going to have the most handsome little boy. He’s going to be big and strong like his Daddy. He’ll have his Momma’s blue eyes and brains. I’m going to teach him how to throw a football while you take him running. And when he grows up, he can decide whether to take after Daddy or to be a world-famous surgeon like his Mommy.”

  Katy smiled as Nick kissed her hand. He always knew exactly what to say.

  “Okay, so this is Ryan,” he said, pointing to the bear again. “Now over here is the crib. We can let him sleep in the bassinet in our room for the first few months if you want or he can stay in here and I’ll get up with him at night.”

  He pointed to the monitor. “This is all hooked up and ready to go. I have a spare one with batteries that we can carry around the house.”

  Katy smiled as she rocked Ryan the Bear and listened to Nick describe every item from the monitor to the swaddle blankets even demonstrating on the bear. He finished and squatted beside the glider. “So what do you think?”

  Katy took his hand and put it on her stomach. Nick’s face lit up as he felt Little Ryan doing gymnastics inside her belly. Katy smiled. “I think he likes it.”

  ***

  Katy’s due date had come and gone. She was exactly forty-one weeks pregnant and very cranky. She was ready for this baby to be out. She wanted to run and do ten hour surgeries again, bu
t she refused to be induced. As a medical professional, Katy felt the risks of being induced far outweighed the discomfort she felt.

  The previous week, Nick had surprised her by telling her she needed to take a week of vacation in November. He had booked them a trip to Jamaica to celebrate the first time they met one year ago. It was crazy how in ten months, she met the perfect man, despite being a firefighter, married him, and was now about to have his child. Sometimes she felt like it was a dream and she was afraid she would wake up and there would be no Nick.

  Nick walked into the bedroom, dressed for work, and handed her a mug of decaf coffee. Katy sat up and took in the scent. Mmmm, just a few more days and she’d be able to drink more than her allotted one cup a day. Nick sat on the bed beside her and rubbed her belly. He leaned over and kissed her. “You are so beautiful.”

  Katy smiled, not feeling beautiful at all. She couldn’t see her shoes, let alone tie her shoes, she had to wear scrubs all the time because nothing else fit, and she could hardly eat anything because there was no room in her stomach. Nick had been wonderful to her during this entire pregnancy, she knew Little Ryan was lucky to have him as his father.

  Nick lingered and Katy knew something was on his mind. “Out with it,” she said.

  “I was just wondering if you’d decided on the last name yet.”

  A few weeks ago, Nick had mentioned that Katy hadn’t changed her last name to his surname. Katy hadn’t really given it much thought as fast as everything happened. She mentioned maybe she’d keep her last name and they could hyphenate both their names for the baby. Nick hated this idea. Katy was his wife and this baby was theirs, they were his family. He wanted his family to all have the same last name—Garrity.

  Katy sighed. “Let’s not get into this now, okay? We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

  Nick nodded. He didn’t want to push the subject, but he knew a decision had to be made soon. Hopefully, their son would be arriving within a couple days. He glanced at the clock knowing he needed to leave so he wouldn’t be late. Katy saw his glance.

  “Not so fast, you have work to do here,” she said smirking.

  Nick laughed and pulled his shirt off. Katy had insisted they try anything and everything to get this baby out on his own. They had eaten spicy food every night for the past week only to end up with a major case of heartburn, they’d walked around Central Park for an hour every day only to get blisters on their feet, but this wives’ tale, well, Nick didn’t mind this one at all.

  ***

  Nick ran into the fire house a few minutes late. Jesse glanced up from his phone. “Any luck this morning?”

  Nick hung his jacket in his locker. “He’s still in there, but not due to lack of trying.”

  Jesse laughed. “Nice. Well, you know I’ve got things covered for you when he gets here.”

  Nick slapped his shoulder. “Thanks, man. You’ve been great to us both.”

  “Yeah, yeah…just name the next one after me.”

  “Jesse is a good girl’s name.” Nick teased and Jesse threw a magazine at him as he walked out of the room.

  Nick was grateful for Jesse. They’d been best buds forever and he always knew he’d be there for him no matter what. Jesse was there when he crashed his first truck, he was his running back when their team won the state football championship, and he was by his side when he got the news about his brother.

  Nick had been there for Jesse, too. There’d been too many times to count when Nick had gotten into a bar fight to help out his friend. Nick would save him when a girl got too clingy at the bar, but Jesse was indebted to Nick for the advice he always gave and for helping him to make the right decisions.

  Nick walked out of the locker room and saw the proby loading up new tanks in the bay. He went over to help, chit chatting as they did. Patrick was a good kid and he’d be a great firefighter if he’d just believe in himself. The cigarette incident made Nick question the kid, but he knew he was only trying to impress the other guys. After all, if that hadn’t happened, he would have never met his beautiful wife, or almost be a father.

  Nick noticed that the kid was being quieter than normal today. “What’s up, Doyle?”

  Patrick looked at him surprised. “What? Uh…nothing, I’m fine.”

  “Girlfriend dump you?”

  “No, it’s…well…”

  “Out with it,” Nick said, using his wife’s phrase. She always used it on him when she knew something was up, but he wasn’t man enough to just spit it out.

  Patrick took a deep breath. “I don’t know that I’m cut out for this.”

  Nick nodded and pointed to the bench for them to take a seat. “Why’d you decide to become a firefighter?”

  “My dad was a brother of FDNY, so is my brother and grandfather. Hell, I didn’t really have a choice.”

  Nick knew where Patrick was coming from, but in his situation, he’d never questioned it. He always knew FDNY was his calling. It made Nick wonder what if his son didn’t want to be a fireman? Nick wasn’t sure how he’d react.

  “If you weren’t fighting fires, what would you do?”

  Without thinking, Patrick answered, “Cars, I love working on cars, it’s kind of my thing.”

  Nick nodded again. “Doyle, I think if you believe in yourself and stop second guessing everything that you’ll be one of the best, but if your heart isn’t in it, then you need to get out. If you don’t, you’ll hurt someone.”

  Patrick nodded and mumbled, “Thanks.”

  Nick gave him a pat on the back as the sirens went off. Nick felt the adrenaline rush through his body. He loved his job and he knew his son would, too.

  ***

  Engine 58 pulled up in front of a warehoused apartment building that was over twenty floors. On the ride there, Nick wasn’t in his usual spot across from Jesse. He’d switched with another guy so that he could sit by the proby, telling him what to expect and giving him pointers on how to handle the fire.

  Nick pulled on his oxygen tank, adjusting the straps. Jesse yelled at him while he walked toward the building.

  “You ready to head in?”

  Nick shook his head. “Take Naj. Doyle’s going with me.”

  Jesse’s expression would have made anyone else think twice about their decision, but Nick knew the proby needed his guidance, not to mention a self-esteem boost, too. As windows burst and glass rained over the sidewalk, Doyle nervously looked at Nick as he spoke.

  “Garrity, you don’t have to do this.” More debris rained over them as another window burst and flames shot down the building.

  Nick clamped his hand on Doyle’s shoulder and smiled. “Come on, Doyle, I’m going to show you the thrill of the fire.”

  Nick led the proby into the building, listening to the radio on his shoulder to find out where the rest of their crew was located. He hit the button, letting them know they’d cover floors five through ten.

  Nick and Patrick ascended the stairs slowly. Nick calmly coached Patrick where to step, what side of the stairwell to stay on, and how to read the pattern of the fire. The flames danced around them without a care in the world, but it didn’t bother Nick. This was his refuge, where he felt the most comfortable. The fire thought it was in control, but Nick knew how to tame it. The higher they climbed, the hotter it got.

  The walls blazed on either side of them, the ceiling was scorched, but Nick was calm. As they searched the sixth floor, Nick looked at Patrick. He stopped in the middle of the room and Patrick ran directly into the back of him.

  “Close your eyes.”

  Patrick looked at Nick like he was crazy.

  “What?”

  “I told you that you need to believe in yourself. You’re good at this, Doyle. Now close your eyes and tell me what direction we should move.”

  Nick could tell Doyle was breathing heavily inside his mask, the condensation on the plastic was proof. Nick reached over and aggressively grabbed Doyle by the coat, forcing him to stop frantically look around the
room, debating his next step. Nick took his breathing apparatus out of his mouth and then removed Doyle’s.

  “You know what to do, Patrick. Don’t let the fire burn you. Think.”

  Patrick took a deep breath and took in his surroundings again. Nick saw the fear in Patrick’s eyes subside and Nick grinned at him.

  “Ready?”

  Patrick nodded and they both placed their breathing masks back on. Patrick pointed to how he thought they should move throughout the floor, Nick still in the lead, but taking Patrick’s direction. When they cleared the floor, Nick patted him on the back.

  “Nice work, Doyle. Take the lead on the next floor.”

  Patrick grinned proudly through his mask and stepped ahead of Nick, opening the door to the seventh floor.

  ***

  Katy shuffled down the hallway of the hospital. Tiffany offered her a wheelchair to do rounds. Katy refused, insisting she was okay although the wheelchair thing didn’t sound too bad.

  Katy made her way to the resident’s lounge and sat down. Her shoe was untied. She tried unsuccessfully to reach it and was about to call Tiffany to come help her. The door opened and Jeremiah saw her struggling. He walked over to her, bent down, and tied her shoe without saying a word.

  As he finished, Katy grabbed his hand then looked up at him as she softly whispered, “I’m sorry.” She knew her words wouldn’t heal his heart. The one that was once hers. The very one that she’d broken.

  Jeremiah didn’t say anything as he hurried out of the room.

  ***

  Katy and Tiffany were at the nurse’s station in the ER. Tiffany was listening to Katy debate the pros and cons of changing her name to Malone-Garrity vs. keeping her name as is.