Brothers Forever

by Tawa M. Witko

  “I’m invincible,” I say, smirking, hoping that she can see humor in this messed up situation.

  She stares at me for a long time and I wish I could get inside her head so that I could see what she is thinking because right now I feel like I am being tortured. I don’t know what to do to make this right but I need to figure out a way.

  “Invincible, huh?” She finally says walking towards me and placing her forehead against my chest. “I don’t know how I feel about all of this. My gut tells me to run as fast as I can but a stronger part of me can’t leave.”

  “Please don’t run, Es. I know this is scary. Trust me, it scares me sometimes as well,” I admit, running my hand over her long hair.

  “I don’t want to lose you, Charles.”

  “You won’t,” I say kissing the top of her head.

  “You can’t be sure of that. If you are with Dimitri, then something could definitely happen to you.”

  “I won’t let it, Es.” I lift her chin up and see she looks sad. “I love you. I will make this work for us. Do you trust me?”

  She nods and moves real close, holding on to me tightly. Suddenly I can breathe again. I run my fingers through her hair, not letting her go. Maybe, just maybe, I can have my love and my brother at the same time.

  Chapter 16

  May

  Two Months Later

  Estelle’s Graduation

  “So you won’t be here at all tonight?” Dimitri asks, watching me intently. I can see his disapproval.

  I shake my head. “No. I am meeting her parents and then we’ll be going to her graduation, then to some reception, and after that I am taking her back to her place. I…” I hesitate and look away from him.

  “You what?”

  “I’m going to ask her to marry me,” I answer, turning back to him, gauging his reaction.

  He lets out an audible sigh. “Why would you do that, Bolʹshoĭ?”

  “I love her, Mladshiĭ. You know that.”

  I stare at him but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, his lips form into a tight line and his eyes narrow which pisses me off. I immediately glare at him. How dare he act this way? He knows how much I love her.

  “I can’t imagine my life without her in it so isn’t marriage the next step?”

  His forehead creases as anger rolls off of him. After the bar incident a few months ago, he has been welcoming in regards to Estelle but he takes every chance he can get to remind me that she isn’t cut out for our lifestyle. That she should be with some lawyer or banker and on one occasion he even had the audacity to say that being with Estelle would weaken me. We got into a fist fight the day he said that. Stephan and Viktor had to pull me off him before I did too much damage. I did bust his lip though and his nose had to be reset. I felt terrible afterwards. We never fight. I have sworn my life to protect him yet there I was being pulled off him, his blood on my fists. Dimitri wasn’t angry at me though. He understood why I was so upset. But his dad wasn’t so understanding. Dimitri stepped in to intervene on my behalf and wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt me, not even his father. He stood up for me, telling him that it was a scuffle between brothers and not related to the business in any way. That it wouldn’t happen again. I tried to control myself after that incident and he did as well, laying off the ‘Estelle doesn’t belong here’ rant that would surely set me off again and I tried not to bring her up very much. Right now though, we are in a standoff, both glaring at the other, neither saying a word.

  “What? Are you going to tell me what I can and can’t do now? Are you telling me I have no choice?” I ask bitterly, emphasizing the last word, knowing it will probably upset him.

  He takes a sharp intake of breath and I can see that I have indeed hurt his feelings as a look of sadness passes across his face. I’m sure he can’t believe that I would say that to him. It’s the one thing that we have always had in common. The fact that all our choices were taken away from us, something that we said we would never do to one another. I know he never intended to put any conditions on me and technically he doesn’t. He controls all the men that work for him, all but me, a fact that annoys some of the people in our circle, Nikolai, in particular. But Dimitri knows that I do what I do out of my love for him, my loyalty to our friendship and our bond as brothers. He stands up hastily and starts to walk away but stops suddenly, turning to face me, a hard and cold expression on his face.

  “Do what you like, Bolʹshoĭ, but it’s a mistake,” he says with finality as he turns back around and walks up to the bar, grabbing a bottle.

  I frown and look down. I should have expected that. I run my hand through my hair and glance over at him as he takes a quick shot. I sigh and get up, walking over to him. I don’t say anything right away. I just take the bottle and pour us both a shot. He downs his the minute it’s poured. I close my eyes as I swallow the fiery liquid that I have been drinking since I was thirteen and then just watch him. He refuses to look at me, instead choosing to stare into his now empty shot glass. I pour us another drink.

  “It’s not a mistake, brother,” I say softly but he still doesn’t answer.

  He gets a pained expression on his face as he tries to hold on to his anger but I can tell that I am reaching him. He doesn’t drink his shot, just moves it about in the glass, watching the liquid swoosh up and around.

  “Please tell me I have your support,” I finally say, my voice cracking with emotion.

  He closes his eyes and doesn’t say anything for quite a while until he finally turns to me and I see that his eyes are wet with unshed tears as well. “Bolʹshoĭ, you will always have my support.”

  I smile and pull him into a hug, only realizing at that moment just how much his approval means to me. I can’t imagine doing anything this big without having his blessing. I don’t care what my father thinks but I care whether or not I have Dimitri’s blessing. He and Estelle are the most important people in my life.

  “I better go. I need to meet her at the restaurant soon,” I say, stepping out of our hug.

  “See you tomorrow?” He asks.

  I grin. “Of course. I can’t stay away from you for too long,” I say, tapping his cheek playfully.

  “Get the hell out of here, Bolʹshoĭ,” he answers with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

  ~*~

  “So, what do you do, Charles?” Estelle’s dad, Frank, asks me as our meal is served.

  “Dad, please, no talk about business,” Estelle says, rescuing me. I smile at her but know I need to say something.

  “Right now I am helping a friend get his business going but if my father has any say in the matter, I will be a partner at Livingston, Whiting, and Associates before the end of the year,” I answer him, skirting around the truth.

  “Charles has an MBA from Harvard. He has a lot of options available to him, Father,” Estelle adds with a warm smile. I watch her a moment and can’t help but wonder if she is actually alluding to something else.

  “How do you like the city?” I ask the two of them, desperate for a change in topics.

  “It’s very fast but I love it. Charles, Estelle tells us that you speak Russian. What incredible foresight to study that during this whole crisis we’re in,” Estelle’s mom, Veronica, says all casual but she has no idea what she has just said to me.

  “Yes, Charles, so what are your thoughts on this whole Soviet Union thing? Do you think Reagan will resolve this in a timely fashion?” Frank perks in.

  I close my eyes, my body stiff. Do they really want me to talk about the cold war? My best friend is Russian. I am linked to one of the deadliest Russian mob families in Chicago. A family that I am sure still has ties to the Soviet Union. I have heard Dimitri’s father talking adamantly about what’s going on over there, and although I am not involved in any of the financial dealings, I would bet my life that the family is sending money over there.

  “Please, Mom, Dad. Let’s not talk politics,” Estelle says, touching my hand.

  “First no busi
ness talk and now no politics either. Estelle Webber, are you trying to hide something?” Frank asks, watching us closely. She turns her attention to him.

  “No, of course not, but I already told you, Charles speaks Russian because his best friend is Russian. It’s a little insensitive for you to be asking him about things that clearly affect his dearest and closest friend which in turn affects him,” she says indignantly.

  “You’re right, dear,” Veronica interjects, tapping her hand and glancing at Frank.

  “I’m sorry, Charles. I meant no disrespect to your friend,” Frank apologizes. “Curiosity, is all. No hard feelings?” He asks, reaching over to shake my hand.

  I take his hand and shake it. “No need to apologize. It was a legitimate question, just not one I am comfortable answering,” I say, thankful that I don’t have to go into how I really feel about everything as I am almost positive it will not be deemed very ‘American’.

  “Duly noted,” Frank says with a laugh.

  The rest of lunch goes without a hitch and conversations shift to lighter topics such as movies and sports and what Estelle plans on doing after graduation. She has secured a post doctorate internship at the psych ward at Cook County and will immediately begin studying for her exams after her hours are completed. I never realized what it took to become a shrink but it gives me a whole new level of respect for them. After lunch we head over to the university for her ceremony. As we make our way to the seating area, Estelle goes ahead with her mother while I am left with her father.

  “Do you love my daughter, Mr. Livingston?” Mr. Webber asks as we watch them walk away from us.

  “Yes. I do,” I respond, watching him nod. “In fact, I want to marry her.”

  Frank turns to me, giving me that same serious expression that Estelle has. “You do?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  He doesn’t say anything, only nods very slightly as we continue to walk. Does that mean yes? Is he saying it’s okay that I marry her? I run my hand through my hair and stop walking. He notices and stops as well.

  “I assure you Mr. Webber that I will take exceptional care of her and will love her until the day that I die. She means the world to me and I will always cherish her,” I say quickly, watching for his reaction.

  He takes a deep breath and then gives me a firm nod. “Thank you for asking for my permission which I grant,” he smiles when he sees me blow out a relieved breath. He turns and starts walking again, following Estelle and Veronica but stops, touching my arm to halt my movement. “That’s my little girl over there and while I do like you and you seem to make her happy, if you hurt her, in any way, I will kill you.”

  I laugh. I’m not sure if he’s serious or not but I don’t care right now. I tap his shoulder and nod. “Well, I would expect nothing less.”

  We take our seats and wait for everything to begin. The ceremony is real nice and we all go out to celebrate afterwards. By the time we drop her parents off at their hotel, I am dying to get her home. Now that I have both Dimitri’s and her father’s permission, I am aching to ask her. The minute we step inside her apartment, she is kissing me and working me back to the couch. I fall back on it with her lying on top of me, kissing me and running her hands down so she can unbuckle my belt.

  “This has been the longest day ever,” she says, laughing as she unzips my pants.

  “You were beautiful up there, Dr. Webber,” I say, moving her hair out of her face.

  “Sorry about the Russian talk at lunch. I told them not to do that but, I don’t know, they’re fascinated with the fact that you speak the language and have been around Russians your whole life,” she says apologetically.

  “It’s alright. They meant well. At least they treated me better than my father treated you,” I say with a sigh, remembering how my father had responded to her.

  “So what does your family do, Estelle?” My mother asks politely.

  “Both of my parents are public school teachers.”

  “Really? What a… noble profession,” Mom says with a fake smile.

  I cringe when my father huffs. He equates teaching with poor which means that, in his mind, Estelle doesn’t stem from worthy enough stock to breed with his son. I am sure I will be informed of a more suitable mate once Estelle leaves.

  “So, I suppose this is quite the financial windfall for you, isn’t it?” He says, casually.

  Estelle sits there, momentarily stunned, and then turns to me with a smile. “You have money?”

  I grin. “Well, I do have a few pennies lying around.”

  “So with my few pennies and your few pennies we can join the upper echelon of pompous and ignorant fools and, hell Charles, we could run the whole damn country,” she says smirking and I immediately want to pull her in my arms and kiss her.

  My father’s chair scrapes and the next thing we see is his retreating figure and then hear his office door slamming shut. Hmm, guess he didn’t like that. NICE!

  “Well, my father is probably itching to ask you a ton of questions. It’s the history teacher in him. He can’t help it,” she says with a laugh, bringing me out of my memory.

  “Estelle,” I say, sitting up and, in turn, forcing her to sit up as well. “You know that I love you, right?”

  She smiles. “Yes, of course. I love you too.”

  “Estelle, you are everything to me. I didn’t know what was missing in my life until I met you and now, well, now I can’t even think straight when I’m not with you.”

  She just smiles until she sees me pull out a box from my pocket.

  “Estelle, I already spoke with your father and told him of my intentions. I want to marry you. You are the kindest and truest person I have ever met. Your beauty enraptures me completely and your heart has captured my soul. Please say yes, Es and make me the happiest man to walk the earth,” I say, opening the box to reveal an emerald cut diamond engagement ring with a 1.5 carat diamond in the center, with smaller .5 carat diamonds on the sides of it, encased in white gold. This thing was expensive but I don’t care, she deserves nothing but the best.

  She stares down at the ring and then looks at me and nods. “Yes, my God! Yes, I will marry you,” she says with tears in her eyes

  Chapter 17

  July

  Charles & Estelle’s Wedding Day

  “Here!” Dimitri says, handing me a shot.

  I down it quickly and look at him. He looks nice in his black tuxedo. He cocks his brow at my expression and then grins as he does a complete turn and ends with what I presume is some sort of model pose. We both start laughing which is something I need at the moment. I just got into another argument with my dad, who doesn’t approve of my marriage at all and figured he would make one last ditch effort at trying to force me to back out of it. The fact is, he has been a complete jerk since I proposed two months ago. It’s as if he has made it his personal mission in life to make things much more complicated than they need to be. He wanted us to postpone the wedding but we we’re having it. Russian engagements tend to be very fast so I figured why wait? He then insisted on having Estelle sign a prenup saying he would block access to my trust fund if she didn’t. He and I argued and argued about that until after our engagement dinner and then Estelle just signed it. I tried to take it from her so that I could rip it up but she wouldn’t let me. Instead, she walked straight up to my father and stuffed it in his jacket pocket and then turned and walked away. My dad was so angry but I was impressed. She told him how she felt without saying a thing. Estelle could care less about my family’s wealth or what my father thinks of her, which makes me wonder why I have allowed him to control my life for so long.

  “You know this changes everything, right?” Dimitri says, straightening out my tie, and bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I nod. “Yeah, I know. It won’t be a problem.”

  He nods and taps my cheek. “I hope not, Bolʹshoĭ.”

  “It won’t,” I reply sighing. “You said you understood.”

  He
leans against the wall, watching me. “I do. I’m just a little curious how you plan on managing all this. Do you really think you can be with me and then come home to Estelle as if you just spent a day in an office versus what we are generally doing?”

  I close my eyes and nod. “I can do it. She understands.”

  “Alright,” he says nodding. “That’s the last I will say about it. This is your day, brother. We will not talk anymore business,” he says, walking up to me. “Now, let’s get you down there before Estelle takes out a hit on me,” he finishes with a wink.

  I laugh. “She probably would.”

  “She looks sweet and innocent but she is not afraid of anything. I don’t know. Sometimes she scares me how well she reads people. It’s like she sees them, the real them, and pulls out what’s in their head, what their trying to hide,” he says shaking his head. “Is that because she’s a shrink?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. I think it’s just the way she is. But I love it. When I am with her, I feel…clean, like all the things we do is just gone.”

  I watch him take a deep breath. He opens his mouth to say something but then closes it, a thoughtful look on his face. I can usually tell what he’s thinking but right now I can’t. That surprises me.

  “She is the most honest and pure person I have ever met,” I say sincerely.

  He nods. “Yes, I think you are right about that. Come on.”

  We head out of the dressing room and into the church. It’s kind of funny because my side of the aisle is a mixture of men who clearly look mob related and my father’s country club group while Estelle’s side of the church is filled with an eclectic mix of everyday people dressed in nice dresses and suits. As Dimitri and I walk towards the front of the church, I immediately walk over to give my mother a kiss and then walk over to kiss my future mother in law and then stand at the front of the church and wait for what seems like hours.

  By the time the organist begins the wedding march, I am bouncing on the balls of my feet. Estelle steps out with her father and looks simply exquisite. I wish that I was a poet so that I could adequately describe just how striking she is. Her hair is flowing beautifully around her face and the light coming from the panels high above cast onto her skin in just the right way, making her seem to glow magnificently. Then there’s her dress, the cut of it seems to highlight every curve of her beautiful body and, of course, the way her eyes sparkle with glee when she sees me sends my heart racing in excitement and love. She walks up the aisle gracefully. She almost seems to be floating to me. I am completely spellbound and overwhelmed with not only desire but love and adoration. By the time her father places her hand in mine, I can’t stop myself and I kiss her, long and passionately. A part of me knows I shouldn’t be kissing her yet but I can’t help it. I feel a tap on my shoulder and reluctantly pull away from her and glance back, noticing the strange look that Dimitri is giving me.