Life Is Not a Reality Show

by Kyle Richards

  “Are you really going to wear it?” your friend might say. “That party was eight years ago and I haven’t seen you in it since. Toss it!”

  When I’m culling my clothes I use a method I call “give away, keep away, throw away.” Give away is for the clothes you can pass on to friends or donate to Goodwill or other charities. Throw away is of course for things that not even Goodwill will want. Ha! When I’m going through my kids’ clothes, I get very sentimental. I see a little dress and I know my daughter’s outgrown it, so can I at least give it to someone I know? Uh, no, not if it’s stained and has a big hole! That’s for the throw-away pile.

  But my middle ground is “keep away.” Some things you can’t bear to part with, even if it isn’t in current rotation. I understand very well that certain items carry special meaning, and you may even nourish the hope it might be worn by you or someone else someday. But don’t fool yourself about what really belongs in there. At the very least have your friend stand guard at the keep-away pile!

  Once I’ve pruned my wardrobe, it actually seems like I have more clothes than before. And they almost seem new! And what a sense of space and calm! It’s like, ah, I can breathe again. Similar to the feeling you get when your car is freshly washed with a full tank of gas!

  You can also get that feeling by organizing your closet really well. I’m not organized by nature, but when I arrange my clothes by color and try to coordinate them with the items I wear with them, I can walk in and say, “Oh, what do we have here?” instead of panicking because I have nothing to wear. It’s more relaxing. And when you’re short on time, it really helps to have outfits partially put together, or at least ready to be easily assembled. Not to mention when you’re totally late and completely frantic and oh my God what am I gonna wear? and will I ever get out the door? You know those times!

  While I weed out clothes on a regular basis, I do keep clothes around that may not fit me at the moment—but do fit me when I’m a little heavier or a little skinnier. Some people say you should never keep your “fat” clothes around but I disagree. I definitely have my uniforms, like the go-to outfits for days when I’m feeling bloated. I know I can still feel okay and reasonably confident in them. Do you really think that by getting rid of “fat” clothes it will keep you from gaining weight? I’m a realist. My weight goes up and down, and I want to have clothes that make me feel good at every phase, whether it’s a skinny day or a chub day!

  Part of being a realist is also recognizing when you really have gotten past the stage of ever wearing something again. You have to be honest with yourself. Truly, are you going to wear that short, tight dress you used to go clubbing in fifteen years ago? If you’ve still got the body for it, you go girl! But don’t kid yourself. Maybe it’s time to give it to your daughter or niece!

  I believe in age-appropriate dressing. I know with hair I said forget about the age-appropriate thing, but I think it’s different for your body and clothes. I’m often tempted to buy things I shouldn’t. I might be dying to wear a cute short skirt I see, but then I have to face the fact that it may not be age-appropriate. The skirt’s probably better for my daughter—so I buy it for her instead.

  Also, you really shouldn’t wear a short dress and a low-cut top. Especially if it’s short and tight. That’s my biggest no-no. I don’t think that look is great at any age, to tell you the truth, but when you’re younger you can get away with it. Otherwise, choose one—short, tight, or boobs. Same goes for tight and sexy—you can be tight and sexy on the top, or on the bottom. Not both.

  I don’t wear very short skirts anymore. Unless you’re young, it’s just not a good look to me. And I’m not generally a big fan of too much cleavage. I think you have to leave a little to the imagination.

  When you’re in doubt about wearing something for any reason, you should probably go with your doubts. That may sound inconsistent with being a confident woman; and obviously a lot of people say you should take risks. When I was younger I used to get dressed and think, Hmm. I’m not sure if this looks good but I’m gonna try it. But I’ve since learned that when it comes to fashion, obey my rule, “when in doubt, leave it out.” That theory seems to work best for me. Try it and see if it works for you too.

  My personal style, as you may realize by now, tends to be a little bit conservative. I like a classic look that’s not too flashy. I don’t like rhinestones. I think they can look cheap and tacky and ruin an otherwise elegant piece of clothing. I do love sequins though.

  I also prefer to dress in a way that makes me look feminine but not too sexy. Mauricio likes a soft look. If I want to be sexy for him I don’t wear a tiny, tight dress with my boobs hanging out—unless maybe we’re going out for a night on the town in Vegas.

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  My Fashion Icons

  Audrey Hepburn

  I wish there were women now who were chic and elegant the way she was. I’ve shown my girls Breakfast at Tiffany’s and we have a lot of pictures of her in the girls’ rooms because we all just love her.

  Madonna

  As I mentioned, she was a real inspiration to me when I was a kid! But I think she’s still got a great sense of fashion and style.

  Jennifer Lopez

  I am a huge fan of the way this woman dresses and how put-together she always is. Her skin is glowing, her hair is beautiful, her lip gloss is perfect, and her outfit always matches her nail polish. I really appreciate when someone makes that much effort to look good.

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  A big part of being fashion-savvy is knowing how to dress appropriately for the occasion. For a glitzy night in Vegas, okay, go sexy. But for a charity event, you want to be feminine and sophisticated.

  Clothes can really set the tone of your experience. Obviously mood and personality affect what you wear, but it goes the other way too. To use an example that still makes me cringe, I will refer again to the episode in season 1 where I screamed at my sister in the limo. That night I wore a short black dress. Just the fact it was black made it kind of assertive; wearing color can often be much more feminine. (I swear, I can put on an ugly, frumpy dress but if it’s red my husband will say it’s gorgeous!)

  Also not typical for me was the dress’s length that night—or lack thereof, I should say. Usually I don’t like anything coming up that high; I think it’s unflattering. But the sleeves were long and had these interesting cutouts, so I thought they kind of balanced out the shortness of the dress. But the dress was just not me; I even said in the episode that I thought maybe I should give it to Farrah.

  After the episode aired I read in a blog, “Kyle was so aggressive that night. Even her dress was aggressive!” Oh my God, it was true! Yeah, it was the dress’s fault, not mine! Ha-ha! It made me realize how much clothes can set the tone—or at least reflect one’s state of mind. The next time I put on something like that, I better watch myself!

  Normally when I make a fashion statement it’s with the tops that I wear. I love certain kinds of tops, ones that are flowing, with interesting detail, blousy, frilly styles, tops that are flowy or skim my body. (Things that don’t cling to my stomach.)

  I’m really drawn to tops with unusual sleeves. It’s hard to describe the exact style, but now other people seem to know it when they see it. My friends will say to me, “Oh, this top is so you!” I never knew before that I had something that stood out as being—well, so me. It’s nice though. If you wear a particular kind of garment or have a signature look that you’re known for, go with it. Play it up! If not, don’t be afraid to experiment with possibilities. You can develop your own special look. As long as it’s based on what truly flatters you and makes you feel fantastic, it can really enhance your style profile.

  Of course, all this advice is useless unless you can actually afford to buy the clothes. I feel very strongly that you can be stylish without devoting your entire paycheck to it. I honestly cannot afford to buy all the things I would love to buy; I have to pick and choose. That’s why I mix it up. I reserve my b
ig expenditures for high-quality staples that will serve as the backbone of my wardrobe for years rather than things that are “in” for just one season.

  Some people assume, just because I’m on the show, that everything I have is expensive. So not true. I buy a ton of inexpensive things. I really do mix it up.

  For instance, some people will go out and spend $80 on a pair of black leggings. Why? Why spend $80 for something you can get for $15? As long as it fits correctly, what’s the difference? Like I said, I prefer to spend my serious money on bags and shoes (which naturally we’ll talk more about later!). Other things I can find cheaper.

  I’m a huge fan of this designer, Matthew Williamson, but if you buy a top from him it’s probably a thousand dollars! He did some designs for H&M, though, and I got this gorgeous cap-sleeve blouse for $60. I wore it on the show. It looks exactly like the ones that cost hundreds of dollars!

  H&M is a great place to shop for cheap but fabulous stuff. They have lots of stores on the East Coast and the West Coast, and some in the Midwest. But sometimes you can only get the best deals if you’re really determined. One time I knew the store was going to start selling Matthew Williamson for H&M. But I knew that the store on Sunset Boulevard, which isn’t very far from me, would be overrun with stylists and people in the business. So I drove out to Woodland Hills (which is not very close to me) and got there way before opening time to stand in line. Even there, at a store pretty far out in the Valley, as soon as the door opened it was like a horse race. Everyone was off and running! I’d never seen anything like it. The store staff kept yelling, “Only two pieces per person! Two pieces per person!” So I just kept snatching things in twos and twos.

  Another good place for nice, inexpensive stuff is Zara. It’s a great place to buy blouses that range from $30 or so to something like $79. Don’t get me wrong. I love Saks, Barneys, and Neiman’s, I try to find things that are beautiful but not crazy expensive. And not trendy.

  I shop online for some things, like shoes and even tops and dresses if they’re loose-fitting and I know my size. But I don’t really recommend going online to buy fitted clothing.

  Fit is really important overall. (Not just when the clothing is so form-hugging it’s practically plastered to your body—I wouldn’t want to wear something like that anyway!) The proper fit in a pair of pants or a jacket, a skirt, a dress, even some blouses, can literally make all the difference between walking around like a schlub or knocking ’em dead. I’m serious. Good tailoring will absolutely set you apart from the crowd. Look at anyone you think has great style and I bet you anything their clothing is tailored flawlessly. Proper tailoring is so worth it, and it’s almost a necessity when you’re short like me, or have other characteristics that make it almost impossible to find a perfect fit off the rack. You might be able to find a good tailor by word-of-mouth.

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  My Glamorous Nighttime Attire

  You don’t want to know what I wear to bed at night. But I’ll tell you anyway.

  I make such an effort trying to look good when I go out, and trying to look beautiful and sexy for my husband. And then at home I have the scariest pajama situation! Basically I wear whatever feels the softest against my body. It doesn’t matter if the tops or bottoms match. They might be from Target, or they may have been lurking in the back of my drawer forever. I have gorgeous pajamas hanging in my closet, but, sadly, I never wear them. They’re just not my style. I need comfortable. If I try to wear all the fancy nightgowns I get claustrophobic. My legs get twisted and tangled!

  They make it look so easy in the movies!

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  Oh my God. We haven’t even gotten to shoes yet! And they’re my favorites! Along with handbags, of course, which are also coming up.

  I love, love, love, love shoes. I can put on a pair of shoes and feel like a totally different person. The higher the better, because I’m short, okay, petite. Shoes have this almost supernatural power to make you feel incredibly good.

  And you know, you can always tell someone by their shoes. I’ve thought that forever about men, but it’s true for women too. If their shoes are falling apart what does that say about them?

  I have a real pet peeve about when the bottom part of a woman’s heel comes off, but she just keeps walking around on the heel with the naked metal shaft sticking out and you hear the “click, click” every time she takes a step. What is she thinking? She’s not thinking! Doesn’t she realize how she’s presenting herself to the world? If she’s walking around like that, what does her home look like?

  Little things like that can mean a lot. If your shoes are in need of repair, do not wear them until you fix them. Period. End of story.

  It’s worth your while to seek out a trustworthy shoe repair place. I don’t like spending a lot of money on flats, because I am so addicted to heels. But you have to wear them sometimes with jeans and capri pants. The only flats I wear are Chanel. I have a few different colors always. I take care of them by taking them to the shoe repair shop and having them resoled. I’ve been wearing Chanel flats since I was pregnant with Farrah. 1988!

  I am very hard on my shoes, so not only do I need a good shoe guy; I also need one who’s affordable. Everyone in Beverly Hills goes to Arturo’s Shoe Fixx, and I do go to him, but I also have someone in the Valley who’s not at all expensive and equally good. He’s just not known as “The Shoe Guy” of Beverly Hills!

  I have to admit that as much as I love high heels, it’s getting harder and harder to do. What can I say? Sometimes you have to suffer for beauty! I do plan to wear heels until the day I die. I don’t ever want to feel like I threw in the towel! So I certainly can’t tell you to stop wearing heels. Your doctor can tell you that, and he’s probably right, but you won’t hear that advice from me! Ha-ha! I was at dinner in New York recently and a fan of the show came over to me and said, “I love your show! Look, I’m wearing my ‘Kyle heels’!” She lifted her pants to reveal a three-inch heel. My eleven-year-old Sophia said, “My mom wouldn’t wear a heel that low!”

  You may not like heels, of course. Shoes are pretty much like the rest of your clothing—you have to find what works best for you. You have to figure out what lifts your spirits, not just your heels. And when you do find a shoe you love, buy multiples. I found these Prada peek-toe platforms in black leather that I just love. Every time I put them on, I don’t know what it is, I just feel so much better (although nobody even sees them half the time because I wear my jeans so long—Ha!). I realized I should try to find the shoes in some other colors, and I’ve been looking. A good trick for that is after you buy the shoe in person, go online to find other pairs in different colors or other fabrics. You may even find them cheaper!

  And now, handbags. If you watch the show, you know how crazy I am about handbags. Lisa from the show always says that every time I get a new handbag I’m so excited it’s like I found the cure for cancer. Ha! Maybe that’s because I don’t get them very often, and it’s a treat for me. Every time I see a handbag I think I have to have, I remember I have four kids and educations to pay for. So I will either save up to buy the bag (and maybe by that time it will even be on sale!) or wait until my birthday and say to my husband, “Can I get this? Pretty please?” I do a little finagling! And sometimes my friends will all chip in and buy me a bag for my birthday too. They really are so expensive! It takes a lot of friends!

  That’s why I wanted to design handbags that are beautiful and hip but that you don’t have to go into debt to buy. You know, you leaf through magazines like Vogue and you see something you like and it’s $5,000! Who spends that much? The handbag line I’ve created will not be like that. People deserve to have things they love that don’t cost them a lot.

  It was fun picking the fabrics and the hardware and the designs and saying things like, “No, absolutely no rhinestones!” Not on my bags! I like sequins, though, so we went with that instead. All of the bags are ones I would definitely carry myself. The process came very natural
ly to me. (Someday I’m hoping to branch out and design a line of tops. Stay tuned!)

  Accessories are important, and it doesn’t end with handbags, of course. The little details they add can raise an outfit from the mundane to the sublime. Or they can turn a generic outfit into something that’s truly you. You know that Gucci jacket of my mother’s I was telling you about? The night I wore it, Mauricio and I were taking our daughters to a concert—the kind of concert where I didn’t know half the names of the performers. So I wore the jacket but rolled up the sleeves, put it on with jeans, and mixed my jewelry in with it all. The rolled sleeves and jeans made it appropriate for the event, but my jewelry made it me.

  If I put on an outfit that looks kind of dull, I then think of it as a canvas and start adding long chains and other things to spice it up. Gold hoops are a staple of mine; I often wear them when I’m wearing a necklace. I also like diamond studs. But sometimes I switch it up and play with different earrings and bangles, trying to find just the right balance. You have to be careful about going too far when you’re adding things, because it’s easy to go past the point of perfection. Use some restraint and look for balance. For example, I would never wear bangles on both arms—on one I wear a watch.

  My jewelry is just like everything else—a mix of high and low, half costume / half real. I love some of my costume pieces even more than the pricier ones! There’s definitely no need to go broke on jewelry.

  And don’t forget sunglasses. They’re not jewelry but I kind of think of them that way, because they can change up your outfit just like jewelry. I have a lot pairs in a lot of different styles and colors, because I love to wear them—especially big ones. You have to buy the shapes that are best for your face, though. I have a square face so I can get away with wearing the big ones. I’ve got my huge Jackie O sunglasses in black, tortoise, and pink!