Envious

by Cheryl Douglas

  “You and I have a date to plan.”

  If it was anything like the dinner he’d treated her to the previous night, she couldn’t wait. Katie couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed a man’s company more. “Okay.”

  “Is that all you’re going to say?” His eyes traveled all over her face before landing on her mouth. Katie held her breath, the anticipation nearly doing her in. She wanted him to kiss her, but she was afraid of what that kiss might unleash. “We’ll talk tonight.” He reached for the door handle without taking his eyes off her lips.

  That’s it? He wasn’t going to kiss her? Katie knew she was frowning when she saw Chris smirk. “What’s so funny?”

  “The anticipation is half the fun, sweetheart. Try to remember that.”

  Chapter Nine

  Chris was in a bad mood by the time he entered his home that evening. He’d learned there was a security breach at one of his yards in Oklahoma, and he had to drive out there that weekend to investigate. He wouldn’t be able to see Bianca. He hated when business robbed him of precious time with his daughter, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped. Thankfully, she and her mother seemed to understand that.

  “What the hell’s that scowl all about?” Lee asked when Chris slammed the front door.

  His friend was watching TV in the family room with his feet up on the coffee table. Chris knew he would need a beer just to get through the talk he’d promised Katie he would have with Lee. “I’ll be right back. I need a beer, man.”

  “I grilled burgers a while ago. If you want one, they’re on the counter.”

  “Thanks, but we had a late meeting,” Chris called over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen. “We just ordered a pizza and had it delivered to the boardroom.”

  Lee was enthralled with a program on the National Geographic channel, giving Chris a few minutes to rehearse what he wanted to say. They’d been friends a long time and he didn’t want anything to come between them, but he couldn’t go on denying his feelings for Katie. He braced one shoulder against the doorframe. “You got a minute? I need to talk to you about something. It’s kind of important.” Potentially life-altering seemed a more accurate description, but Chris didn’t think adding more drama to the situation was wise. He thought he’d try for nonchalance instead, like it was every day a guy asked one of his best friends if he’d mind whether he dated his soon-to-be ex-wife.

  “Sure,” Lee said, reaching for the remote to mute the TV. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I, uh, met with Katie today.” His throat felt as if he’d swallowed a mouthful of sand, so he took a long pull of his longneck.

  “Yeah? Did you guys talk more about her business idea?”

  “We did.” They’d talked about little else for two hours, except for the precious moment when he was tempted to steal that kiss.

  “How’s that going?” Lee asked. “You think she’s onto something, or what?”

  “I do.”

  “I’ve been thinking about what I asked you to do, and I feel kind of bad about it. I don’t want you to sink a whole pile of money into this project if you think it’s going to be a dud.”

  Chris said, “No, I don’t think that. In fact, I think this business has a lot of potential.”

  “Good.” Lee grinned. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been sweatin’ it ever since I asked you to help take Katie’s mind off the divorce.”

  “Are you sure that’s where you see this heading?” Chris asked, feeling his heart hammering. “Are you really ready to divorce your wife?”

  Lee tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Chris feared he may have to brace himself for his friend’s response. “Man, I didn’t make this decision lightly. I’d been thinking about it for a long time. I talked to a divorce lawyer four months ago. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell Katie. I knew she wasn’t all that happy with the ways things were either, but I hated like hell to blindside her. I kept hoping she’d be the one to tell me she wanted out. When she didn’t, I knew I had to bite the bullet and put both of us out of our misery.”

  That’s how Lee described living with Katie? Misery? For the first time, Chris questioned whether his friend was as smart as he’d always thought. He was satisfied Lee didn’t want his wife back, but the big question still remained. “So how would you feel if she started dating someone else?”

  Lee frowned. “Why? Did she tell you she’s seeing someone?”

  Chris brought the bottle to his lips again, but he wasn’t sure he could swallow past the lump in his throat. “No, she’s not seeing anyone, but I got the feeling she’s interested in someone.”

  “Is that so?” Lee linked his hands behind his head. “Who might that be?”

  He looked awfully relaxed for a man who’d just learned his soon-to-be ex was interested in dating someone else already, Chris thought. He didn’t know whether he should be encouraged by that or not. “Me.”

  Lee stared into his friend’s eyes, failing to blink until Chris did. “It’s about time y’all admitted you have feelings for each other.”

  Chris wasn’t sure he’d heard him right. Surely he wasn’t implying he’d known all along that… “Excuse me?”

  “Y’all are both so honest, so noble, I knew you’d never act on your feelings for each other as long as I was in the picture.”

  “You’re not saying you stepped aside because—”

  “I stepped aside because Katie and I don’t love each other anymore. I don’t know that we ever really did, at least not the way we should have. When Katie and I got together, she had a hard time believing anyone would love her. As I got to know her, I saw how incredible she is. I felt guilty keeping her in that marriage when she could be with someone who really loves her.”

  “Wow.” Chris let the air seep out between his teeth. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

  “You probably think I’m crazy for not loving her. You might be right.” Lee shrugged. “All I can say is that the chemistry’s either there or it’s not. You can’t force it.”

  You can’t force it. His wife had said those same words the night she left him for another man. He’d been bitter and resentful, but he’d learned that she was right. She couldn’t force herself to love him any more than Lee could force himself to love Katie. “So you don’t mind if…” Chris couldn’t even bring himself to say it. It was wrong for him to even want to date Katie, but he couldn’t help where his heart was leading him.

  “Y’all date? No, I don’t mind. But I do have a favor to ask.”

  “Sure, anything.” Chris felt pretty magnanimous after getting Lee’s blessing.

  “Let me talk to her about it before you do, okay? She might need to hear all this from me before she’s okay with moving on, you know, because of Hannah.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Chris couldn’t find the words to express how much it meant to him that Lee was trying to help them instead of torturing them with his anger and resentment. “Listen, man, I really appreciate you not giving us a hard time about this. I don’t know where it’s going, but I’d like to see how it all plays out.” He knew where he wanted it to go, but he wasn’t sure Katie felt the same way.

  “No worries. I knew it was only a matter of time.” Lee chuckled. “I got to hand it to you though, I didn’t expect it to be this soon. You work fast.”

  Chris grimaced. “Don’t make it sound like I moved in as soon as you moved out. If we hadn’t been working together on this project, it probably would’ve taken months before I acknowledged that I had feelings for her.”

  “Yeah, I know. That’s why I gave you a shove in the right direction.”

  Chris didn’t know whether to laugh or not until he saw Lee’s lips twitching. “You set me up? With your wife? That’s just messed up.”

  “Maybe, but as far as I’m concerned, you owe me one.”

  “I’m keeping a roof over your head; that’s how I’m repaying the debt.” Chris shook his head with a smile
. He felt ten years younger than he did when he’d walked through the door.

  “Speaking of that,” Lee said, “I’ve lined up a condo downtown. Think you can give me a hand moving this weekend, or do you have big plans with Bianca?”

  “I did have, but I’ve got to take a run to Oklahoma.”

  “Why can’t you take Bianca with you?” Lee reached for his soft drink on the coffee table.

  “I’d like to, but she gets so antsy in the car. Even the DVD player only keeps her entertained for a couple of hours.”

  “She might feel differently if she had a travel companion,” Lee said, smiling.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Ask Hannah and Katie to go with you.” Lee shrugged. “It could be fun, for you guys and for them.”

  All that driving would give them a lot of time to talk. It could be exactly what Chris needed to break down the walls Katie had erected around her heart. “You sure you wouldn’t mind?”

  Lee laughed. “If y’all are gonna start dating, you can’t feel like you have to ask my permission every time you wanna take her out.”

  “Don’t be a smart-ass. I meant, are you sure you don’t mind me taking Hannah? Isn’t the weekend supposed to be your time with her?”

  “Yeah, but I’ve gotta move. I’ll be busy with that. Seriously, you should ask Katie to go with you. But if you’re smart, you’ll let me talk to her first.”

  Chris looked at his watch. “When exactly do you plan to do that?”

  Lee smiled and leaned forward, bracing his hands on his knees. “Funny you should ask. I was just thinking I should wander over there and give my baby girl a kiss good-night.”

  “Excellent idea.” Chris chuckled when Lee slapped him on the back as he walked past. “Thanks, buddy. You’re a good friend.”

  “I know, and don’t you ever forget it.”

  “Like you’ll let me.”

  ***

  Katie flinched when she heard the doorbell as she helped Hannah out of the bath. It was after eight o’clock, and she wasn’t expecting anyone. Maybe Chris had decided to stop by and tell her about his chat with Lee in person instead of calling.

  “Can you dry yourself off like a big girl while I check and see who’s at the door?” Katie asked.

  “Don forget a check da peephole,” Hannah said, shaking her finger at her mama.

  Katie suppressed a smile, planted a fist on her hip, and said, “Someone taught you well, little miss.”

  “You did!” she squealed, giggling as if she’d just told an uproariously funny joke.

  Katie smiled as she made her way to the door. She may have made a lot of mistakes, but that little girl wasn’t one of them. Being a mother made even Katie’s worst days better. She pulled the door open, and her smile slipped before she caught it. “Hi, Lee.”

  “Were you expecting someone else?”

  Apparently Chris had talked to him. Katie couldn’t decide whether Lee was angry or resigned. “Hannah’s just getting out of the bath. Come up with me. We can tuck her in together.”

  “Sure,” he said, brushing past Katie. “Then we need to talk.”

  Uh oh. That sounded ominous. Katie told herself she had no reason to feel guilty; Lee was the one who’d walked out on her. But as she followed him up the stairs, her conscience reminded her that she should have waited a respectable amount of time before she considered dating again. The old Katie wouldn’t have cared what anyone thought, but she’d like to believe she’d matured enough to consider other people’s feelings. Especially when the person in question was the father of her child.

  Katie watched Lee tickle their daughter’s tummy, and she smiled when he made funny voices as he read her a bedtime story. The entire time, she asked herself how she would react if Lee told her he didn’t want her to date Chris. Would she walk away from Chris just to spare Lee’s feelings, or would she pursue what might be her first real chance at lasting happiness?

  “Sleep tight, baby,” Katie said, leaning over to kiss her daughter’s cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Will you be here when I wake up, daddy?” she asked, yawning as Lee turned out the light.

  “No, I’m staying with Chris, remember, princess?”

  “I wish you were still livin’ with us.”

  “G’night, sweetie,” Lee said, opting to ignore the comment.

  Katie was glad the room was dark so she didn’t have to witness Lee’s pained expression. She knew leaving hadn’t been easy for him, but with each day that passed, she felt stronger and more grateful he’d had the courage to end it. Katie followed Lee down the stairs. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, I’m good, thanks,” he said.

  “I was just going to make some herbal tea. Do you mind if we have this conversation in the kitchen?” She needed chamomile to ease her tension.

  “Not a problem.” Lee led the way into the kitchen and sat at the head of the table.

  Katie felt his eyes boring into her back as she made the tea. He still hadn’t said what he wanted to talk to her about. As if she didn’t know. “It was nice of you to stop by and tuck Hannah in.”

  “Yeah, too bad I won’t be able to do that for much longer.”

  “Why’s that?” Katie faced him as she waited for the water to boil.

  “I found a condo downtown. I’m moving in this weekend.”

  “Wow, that didn’t take long.”

  “No, when you find something that feels right, there’s no sense waiting, is there?”

  The way he looked at her told her he was talking about her relationship with Chris. Not that they had a relationship…yet. “I guess not.” Her hands trembled as she poured hot water into her cup. She knew if she brought the delicate cup to her lips, she’d end up wearing the tea instead of drinking it.

  “Have you found something that feels right with Chris?”

  She couldn’t face him and admit she had feelings for someone else. It felt so wrong. Lee had been the one to help her overcome her addiction. He’d held her hand when Hannah came into the world. He’d stood by her as she fought to become the kind of person their daughter could be proud of.

  “It’s okay to admit it,” he said softly. “No one’s judging you.”

  But she was judging herself. Katie had always been her own worst critic. “I don’t know where this thing with Chris is going to go.”

  “But you’d like to find out.” When she still refused to face him, Lee said, “For God’s sake, Kat, will you turn around?”

  She sucked in a deep breath and whirled around, leaving her tea on the counter. “Fine. Happy now?”

  “No, I won’t be happy until you tell me the truth.” Lee ran a hand over his eyes, looking weary. “Look, I know this isn’t easy for you, but eventually one of us will find someone else. It’s inevitable.”

  “Yeah, but…Chris—”

  “Is a great guy,” Lee said. “If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be one of my best friends. I get it, okay? I get what you see in him. Any woman would probably feel the same way.” He smirked. “Not that I’m real big on judging another guy’s attributes.”

  Katie sputtered and laughed when Lee made a face that told her it was painful for him to even think of his friend that way. “You really don’t have a problem with us?”

  “I’ll always want what’s best for you. If you’re happy, Hannah will be too. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

  Lee was a different man than the one whose only concern had been where his next fix would come from. “Hannah’s so lucky to have you as her daddy,” she said, smiling even though her eyes were swimming with tears. “I want the same thing for you, you know. To be happy.”

  “I’m getting there. It’ll take some time to get used to the way things are now.” Lee drew circles on the table with the tip of his index finger. He fixated on the repetitive action instead of looking at Katie. “I’m gonna miss seeing her every day.”

  It broke her heart to
see Lee so torn up about losing his daily Hannah fix. Katie knew she would be just as heartbroken. “You can stop by and see her whenever you want. I hope you know that.”

  “Every day?” He lifted his head to smile at her. “I’m just kidding. I know you need your privacy, especially now.”

  “I want you to know I’m not ready to rush into another relationship. I’ll see where this thing with Chris goes, but I’m not planning to get serious too soon.”

  “Just don’t shut him down before you’ve given it a fair chance.”

  Katie frowned. “What makes you think I’d do that?”

  “Because I know you. I’m not convinced you believe you deserve a happy ending with a guy like Chris, but you do. Don’t shortchange yourself, and drive him away in the process.” Lee walked toward her. Gripping her shoulders, he leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Give him a chance to love you, and don’t be afraid to love him back.”

  “You’re getting way ahead of yourself,” Katie said breathlessly. Love? It took time to develop those kinds of feelings. She’d never thought of Chris that way before… had she? “We’re talking about going out to dinner a time or two, nothing more.”

  “I have a feeling Chris won’t be satisfied with the occasional date. He has real feelings for you. I see it when he talks about you. If you’re not there, don’t waste his time or yours. I don’t want to see either one of you get hurt.”

  Oh God, was she really ready for this? She watched Lee heading for the door. At least when she’d been unhappily married, she didn’t have to risk putting her heart on the line. It almost made her wish Lee had stayed.

  “By the way,” Lee said, gripping the door frame and facing her, “I think Chris’s gonna ask you and Hannah to take a road trip with him and Bianca this weekend. For what it’s worth, I think you should go. One way or another, you need to decide if this is going anywhere. If it’s not, tell him. If you think it might be, let your guard down. Give him a chance.”

  Katie held her breath as Lee closed the door. Let her guard down and risk getting her heart broken? The only man she’d ever let in was Lee, and that had been easier because she knew she’d survive if he ever left her. With Chris, she wasn’t so sure.