Love By Accident

by Michelle Beattie

  "Honey, you don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere." And then his mouth covered hers.

  Lauren sighed and pressed herself into him, loving the feel of his arms around her back while his lips seduced hers. He was a phenomenal kisser. His mouth was hot and juicy, demanding. It drew everything she felt into the kiss. She felt it all.

  Hard chest muscles pressed against her breasts, turning her nipples into sensitized peaks. Strong arms drew her closer and closer to him. She dropped the rose on the counter. He was destroying her. With each stroke of his tongue, her leg muscles weakened.

  "Matt," Lauren whimpered. Her blood was hot. Everything was hot.

  His tongue traced her lips. His kisses became light and feathery. And then they stopped.

  Dazed and swaying in his arms, Lauren opened her eyes.

  He stroked her face reverently. "You're so beautiful."

  Right then and there she believed it because the truth was in his shadowed gaze, in the soft caress of his hand.

  "So are you," she answered and wondered how she'd never noticed it before. Her hands delved into his silky curls. Regarding her through the slats of the mask were striking blue eyes framed by long lashes. He kept his face clean shaven but always underneath was the hint of stubble. His mouth, she thought, yearning, was to die for.

  "Thanks." He kissed her again, long and slow. "I'd better go."

  "Oh. Okay. I guess you have to get up early tomorrow."

  "Yeah," he sighed, some of the light going out of his eyes. "I have a long week planned. You don't have to get up for work?"

  "No. I've got the day off."

  "Lucky you." He pulled on his jacket.

  "Everything all right?"

  His eyes collided with hers and for a moment, she saw clouds swirling in their depths. "Yeah. Just been a long day."

  "I can help, you know. If you need someone to talk to."

  "I know, honey, but I'm fine. Really, I just need some sleep."

  A vision of her cuddling next to him as he slept came to mind. Much as the thought thrilled her, she knew they weren't there. Not yet.

  "Well, if it's any consolation, I think you make a great kissing bandit."

  He grinned. "I know," he said and before he walked out the door, he proved it again.

  ***

  Lauren couldn't remember the last time she'd had such a wonderful sleep. The blankets had never felt so cozy, her pillow so soft. Warm underneath her cocoon of covers, she'd slept on a cloud of dreams that circled around a masked man whose kisses left her hungry.

  After showering and dressing, running behind because of her daydreaming about Matt, she rushed out of the house. With a spring in her stride Lauren walked down the sidewalk to the bus depot. When she spotted Nick's brother Kyle slouched on a park bench, lost in his Nintendo, she smiled.

  "Hey," she said, kicking his Nikes. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

  He cast her a belligerent glance she didn't believe for a second, slid his game in the pocket of his hoodie, and stood up.

  "Aren't you supposed to be having a nap or something? Isn't that what old people do?"

  "Little brat."

  "Old fart."

  Lauren laughed and opened her arms. Kyle hesitated, then stepped inside the circle, though he kept his arms hanging loosely at his side.

  "What happened to you? You used to be short," she commented when his gaze was nearly level with hers.

  He shrugged, his eyes looking far too old for his age. "Maybe you're shrinking. I heard it happens to old people."

  "Watch it, or I'll beat you with my cane."

  Grabbing his duffel bag, he threw it over his shoulder.

  "Again?"

  "Very funny for a kid who's relying on me to feed him until his brother gets off work."

  He nodded, looking a little more like the boy he should still be at thirteen. "Good point."

  They fell into step, Lauren still marveling at just how fast a kid sprouted. He looked tired, though, and maybe most kids his age slouched, but to Lauren it seemed his was pronounced. Like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

  Since Kyle hadn't been to visit Nick for a few weeks, Lauren decided to make this weekend extra special. For two days, at least, he could forget and just be a kid.

  "So I thought we'd rent a couple movies, stock up on chips and pop and get some pizza for supper. How does that sound?"

  Kyle's smile lit up his face and chased some of the shadows from his eyes.

  "Can I get a horror movie?"

  Lauren cringed. "As long as I don't have to watch it."

  "Chicken," he shoved her lightly with his arm.

  They crossed the street and pushed open the doors of the convenience store.

  Half an hour later, with arms full of movies and junk food, they trudged into Lauren's place.

  "You think this will be enough?" Kyle asked, eyeing the four bags of chips, three king-sized chocolate bars, a box of microwave popcorn and a dozen Pepsis.

  "If it's not, we're getting you checked for tape worms."

  He laughed. Nothing had ever sounded so right to Lauren and she longed to hug him again. She settled for wishing life could always be this simple for him. No thirteen-year-old boy should have to deal with the harsh realities of cancer on a daily basis.

  "It's good you're here. I really missed you."

  "Yeah." He shifted uncomfortably. "So, has my brother, like, proposed yet?"

  She cracked two pops open, passed one to Kyle.

  "You know we're just friends, Kyle."

  He frowned. "Is there something wrong with him?"

  Lauren choked on the carbonation. Bubbles burned the back of her throat. "No, Kyle. I like Nick, you know I do. Would I put up with you otherwise?"

  "Okay, I get it. You're not hot for him."

  Well that was more direct than she'd expected, but she followed his lead.

  "No, I'm not. Don't you have any friends that are girls? That you don't want to go out with, but maybe just like hanging out with?"

  He blushed to the edges of his hairline.

  "Ah, I see." Lauren smiled and led him to the living room. "Come with me, little brother. Let's talk."

  ***

  In the end, Lauren watched the horror flick, sandwiched between Nick and Kyle who tormented her by grabbing her legs at the most suspenseful parts. She didn't breathe normally until the credits started.

  "That was awful," she said, prying herself off the couch.

  "How could you possibly know?" Nick asked. "Your eyes were closed through most of it."

  "I saw enough," she muttered, placing the disc back in the case. "Besides, my movie was way better."

  Kyle groaned. "It was lame. All those chick flicks are the same."

  "I concur," Nick agreed.

  Lauren threw a pillow at him. "I feed you supper, spend the day with the brat," she pointed at Kyle, laughing when he crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at her, "and you can't take my side?"

  "Nope," Nick agreed. "Ours was better." He gave Kyle a high-five.

  Despite their conflicting tastes in movies, they all worked together to clear the empty wrappers and cans from the living room. When Kyle went to the bathroom, Nick lowered his voice.

  "I really appreciate you picking him up. Looks like he had a great time."

  "You're welcome. I enjoyed it as much as he did. It seems to have taken his mind off things."

  They dropped the cans into the recycling bin.

  "It was good for him. Thanks. So, you busy tomorrow?"

  "Yeah, I've got something in the morning," she deliberately kept Matt's name out of it, knowing they didn't like each other. "And then I have to close."

  Disappointment killed his smile. "Shit. And I'm driving Kyle home first thing Sunday."

  "Then I guess I'll see you next week."

  Nick didn't look happy about having to wait so long. Kyle shuffled back into the kitchen, the boy once again replaced with a young man with a lot on his min
d. "We heading out?"

  "Yeah, grab your coat."

  She waved at Kyle, told him to call her anytime. He mumbled an answer, leaving the screen door to bang shut behind him. Nick hung around for a bit longer. Lauren deliberately kept a little distance between them, always careful not to encourage the affection that was clear in the way Nick looked at her.

  "Thanks again."

  "Any time."

  Suddenly Nick cocked his head.

  "What? Did you hear something?"

  He shook his head. "No, I don't hear anything." He stepped around her to the kitchen sink. "Did you finally get these taps fixed?"

  "Uh, yeah. A few days ago."

  "I hope you didn't call a plumber. They charge a fortune."

  Shit. She crossed her arms over her sweater. "Uh, no. Another friend volunteered. Just brought the parts right over, I didn't even ask."

  Nick stared at the sink for a long while, not saying anything. His jaw, however, kept flexing and releasing, pulsating with anger. Then, saying nothing more, not even good night, he turned and left.

  ***

  "Hey pretty boy, you missed a spot."

  The razor in Matt's hands jerked but he managed to yank it back before he sliced his neck open. He glared into the mirror at Gil's reflection.

  "Are you nuts? I could've joined you--" he gestured with his hands, "up there."

  Gil pressed his tongue into his cheek. "What makes you think you're heading North? Seems to me, after everything you did as a kid, you might not want to pack a sweater."

  Matt finished shaving and splashed warm water onto his face. The last of the cream swirled down the drain.

  "Considering I did most of those things with you and you don't seem to be suffering from major burns, I'd say I'm safe." He toweled off and poured some Hugo Boss into his palm.

  "You know," Gil said, angling his head, "this is the exact same routine you had back in college. Shower, shave, cologne."

  "Get dressed?" Matt volunteered. "You're not going to watch me, are you?" he asked looking pointedly at the navy towel hanging low on his hips.

  "Seen it, thanks. And it's not worth the t-shirt. I'll catch you in the living room."

  Matt was dressed and cinching his belt when he strode in. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

  "Lauren."

  His gaze shot to Gil. Did he know about his and Lauren's kisses? Shit, he hadn't thought of how awkward it would be to face Gil. He'd waited what seemed like an eternity to have her in his arms, to know what her mouth felt like against his. To feel her body pressed into his, her arms around his neck.

  It was spectacular.

  What he hadn't counted on was facing his friend after the fact. Did Gil know? Did he care? And if he did, where did that leave Matt? Matt rubbed his hand over his face; it had never entered his mind to be embarrassed. But it did now. Man, did it ever. He coughed.

  "What about her?"

  "How are things going?" Gil asked. He was sitting on Matt's coffee table, thumbing through his Explorer magazine.

  Matt leaned against his kitchen table. "Good. We're talking again. I apologized, she forgave me. I fixed her taps."

  I kissed your girlfriend. Damn, he thought, shaking his head and trying freaking hard not to squirm. Fourteen-year-old boys getting caught drooling over their first Playboy couldn't possibly feel as guilty.

  "And has she told you anything yet, about the accident?"

  "Yeah. She lost control on the ice. Then after, she couldn't face me, my parents or yours, so she left."

  "Matt," Gil sighed, dropping the magazine, "There's more."

  He'd never known before that it was actually possible to feel blood drain from his face. "What do you mean, more? She felt guilty, couldn't face sticking around for your--"

  Fuck. Matt rubbed the back of his neck. What was the protocol for talking about a funeral to the person who'd been in the casket?

  "It's not so simple, buddy."

  Gil looked away and for a moment Matt thought he saw culpability on Gil's face. But what would Gil have to feel guilty about?

  "If you know it all, then you tell me what happened."

  "I can't. I can only guide you, Matt, I can't do the work for you."

  "What's the point, Gil? What's to be gained by talking about it any further?" Especially since he finally had Lauren where he wanted her.

  "Lauren's been holding onto something and she needs to let it go or she'll never be able to fully move on."

  "If she needs help, appear to her, like you do to me."

  "She's got things so locked and blocked, I can't get through to her. I've tried but I can't even get to her front door. But you can. Find out what happened the night of the accident. Get her to talk."

  Matt closed his eyes to Gil and the sunshine streaming into the room. He'd been anticipating today. He'd planned his date with Lauren and had been looking forward to it more than any Christmas morning he could remember as a kid. No present he'd ever received could have compared to this day. A date with Lauren. A real date. And Gil wanted him to wreck it by bringing up the past.

  Leaning back into the chair, Matt sighed heavily. He didn't want to do it. Shit, he really didn't.

  "This is for the best, Matt."

  "The best for who, Gil?"

  Gil was gone before Matt had finished his sentence. Well, didn't that just figure?

  When the going gets tough, Matt thought, the ghost gets going.

  THIRTEEN

  Still deciding whether or not to honor Gil's request, Matt forgot about the rotting steps of Lauren's porch. His foot broke through the decaying lumber and he fell through to mid-shin. His palms slammed onto the porch to keep his face from smashing into it.

  "Shit!" he muttered pulling out his jean-clad leg. He examined the state of his Levis and was glad to see he hadn't torn his favorite pair. Other than the scrape stinging beneath the denim, he considered himself lucky not to have broken anything. He licked his finger and wiped away a scuff on his Doc Martens.

  "Are you all right?" Lauren asked from the doorway.

  Matt had a sharp retort on the tip of his tongue for the state of her house but it melted at the sight of her. She'd foregone the ponytail. Hair the color of prairie wheat in September glided across her shoulders and ended in a sassy flip. There was some sparkly eye shadow on her lids and a soft pink hue to her lips that drew his attention. She'd always been beautiful to him, but never had she looked so gorgeous. Blood u-turned in his veins and headed south.

  "Wow," he said after he'd regained his feet. "I'm speechless."

  She tucked some hair behind her ear, looking shy and sexy enough to make him sweat.

  "Thanks."

  "Ready?" he asked.

  "Just let me get my coat."

  She pivoted in the doorway and grabbed her fleece jacket off the hook. His gaze flew to her ass and he swallowed a moan. Hoping she didn't look down and see his reaction to her, Matt took the coat from her hands.

  "Here, I'll help."

  Though his gesture was chivalrous, his motivation was anything but. He was desperate to get close to her. Unable to resist, and pushing his control to the limit, he leaned in and swept a kiss across her cheek, then held her hand as he walked her to the car.

  He'd planned their date perfectly and was darn proud of the arrangements. They had the place to themselves, much easier to accomplish in the off season, and he couldn't wait to see the look on her face. He pulled onto a gravel road and slowed to a crawl, lest he get any rock chips on his paint, then glided into a parking space.

  He leapt from the car and opened her door, anxious to get to their adventure.

  Lauren's gaze fixed on the small asphalt track. "We're going go-karting?"

  "Yep. Come on." He tugged her along. "I've booked it so it'll just be us. Now you won't be able to use some lame excuse like someone cut you off when I whip your butt."

  The owner hollered out a greeting from outside the office where he was yanking out
his annuals. Matt acknowledged him with a wave. He turned to the rack of helmets and grabbed a pink one.

  "For you," he said. He picked a manly black one for himself.

  "Matt," Lauren said, her hand cold when it touched his. "I can't do this."

  "Well, you can't win, but I'll give you a few laps head start so the humiliation won't be so bad." He patted her cheek then drew his sunglasses from his pocket, sliding them on. He moved to the karts and examined them all before he chose the one which would lead him to victory. He was sitting inside before he realized she hadn't moved.

  "What's the matter, Lauren, chicken?"

  She shook her head. "I can't."

  "Lord hates a coward, Lauren. Pick a kart."

  She backed away. What the hell? He slid up the back of the seat and pushed his glasses down his nose.

  Her grey eyes were huge, her color very pale in the bright autumn sunshine. Matt's stomach dropped and he came out of the go-kart, leaving the helmet on the seat.

  "It's just a kart, Lauren. We did this all the time in..." and with a slap upside the head reality hit him.

  She didn't drive. The only car he'd ever seen in front of her house was his. In that moment everything else about her suddenly became blindingly clear. The house she lived in was falling apart, her appearance which, until today, wasn't fussed over. She was a waitress instead of what she trained to do. For the first time since he'd woken up in the hospital after the accident, he finally understood that although she may have come away the least physically hurt, the accident had changed her too. Idiot. He cursed himself, for not having seen it before.

  "You haven't driven since, have you?" He pulled off his sunglasses, put them in his pocket.

  Her eyes met his and what he saw in them broke his heart.

  "Sweetheart, you can't live like this. It isn't healthy. And I know Gil wouldn't have wanted you to do this to yourself."

  Lauren's heart squeezed at the mention of Gil. Her breath quivered in her chest.

  "Can we just go back?"

  He sighed. "Lauren."

  "I'll wait for you in the car." She turned for the parking lot.

  "Lauren!" he called out.

  She spun around, feeling cornered and threatened. If he'd just leave her alone for five damn minutes. "I can't, don't you get it? I can't drive and I especially can't do the go-karts. He loved these stupid things and we never went without him."