Gorgeous Chaos

by T. K. Leigh

  “KIERA!” Olivia yelled, everyone turning toward her. “Enough! Please,” she begged, lowering her voice. “It’s not what you think. I needed Cam and he came to help me work through some things. If you’ll please stow your pitchfork, I’d like to tell you both what’s been going on.”

  “Fine,” Kiera said, flopping on the couch. She turned her eyes up to meet Cam's. “But I’m keeping my eyes on you, mister!”

  Cam laughed and took a seat next to Olivia, grabbing her hand in a show of support. She smiled at him before proceeding to tell Mo and Kiera the story that Cam had heard so many times.

  “So, he’s known secrets about your past since August and refused to tell you?” Mo asked when Olivia had finished telling them everything that had happened between her and Alexander. It was obvious that he was quite irritated.

  “Now you see why I stormed out on him.”

  “That bastard!” Kiera exclaimed, unable to process the fact that Alexander and Olivia were childhood best friends.

  “But the problem is that he holds all the secrets to my past. I know I should want to find out more about everything, but part of me is scared to know. What if there’s a good reason that his father changed my identity?”

  “I’m sure there is,” Mo said. “You said the guy was ex-CIA. He wouldn’t do that unless it was necessary.”

  “Libby,” Kiera said, bringing Olivia’s attention back to her. “Nothing we say is going to tell you what you should do. This is your life and your past. Mo and I have the luxury of knowing our family. You never did. Whatever you decide to do, we’ll support you. Always.”

  Olivia walked over to the couch and sat between her two friends, both of them hugging her. “Thanks, guys. I love you both so much.”

  “Just so you know,” Kiera said. “If you want to have a retaliatory fuck with Cam, I’d totally support that.”

  Cam's eyes went wide and Olivia looked at him, shaking her head at her friend’s offer. “Thanks, Kiera,” she replied, grinning at Cam. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Good. Because that fucker deserves to be hurt after what he’s put you through.”

  “Maybe you should tell him, Livvy,” Mo said. “Tell him how much pain he’s caused you.”

  “I have,” she explained. “I just don’t think he’s listening.”

  “Well, make him listen.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  OPENING UP

  “LIBBY!” MELANIE SHOUTED WHEN she saw her walk into MacFadden’s the following Friday. “How have you been? Are you back playing with the guys again?” she asked, excited to finally see her friend.

  “Hi, Mel. Bridge,” Olivia said, nodding a greeting to her friends. She hadn’t seen them since Vegas. That seemed like ages ago, even though only a few weeks had passed.

  “Kiera told us about you and Alexander,” Bridget said, placing her hand on Olivia’s arm, a compassionate look across her face. “We’re so sorry.”

  “There’s definitely more to the story than just a simple break-up, but we’ll get to that later. To answer your question -- yes, I’m singing with the guys again tonight. It’s about time that I got my ass back in gear.”

  “Who’s this?” Bridget asked, eyeing Cam up and down. “This is the same guy that you were talking to at the Green Dragon all those weeks ago, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. Mel, Bridget, this is my friend, Cam. He’s kind of been helping me through my issues.”

  “Nice to meet you both,” he said politely before turning his eyes back to Olivia. “Would you like a drink? The usual?”

  “Yes, please. I need it tonight.”

  He nodded, walking toward the bar through the audience that had gathered to see the band.

  “Damn. He’s a hottie. You go from one hottie to another.”

  “Bridget!” Melanie exclaimed, smacking her friend. “You came here with Dylan!”

  “Dylan? You mean Vegas Dylan?” Olivia eyed Melanie and Bridget.

  “Yeah,” Bridget replied, blushing and looking around the dark bar. “He agreed to come with me tonight, although I’m not sure where he’s run off to.” She furrowed her brow. “We’ve gone out a few times over the past couple of weeks.” She returned her attention to Olivia and Melanie. “And Mel’s been tutoring Lucas in a psych class he’s struggling with that she’s already taken.”

  “At least he’s gay so I don’t have to worry about him stealing my girl,” Tyler said, walking up to the girls and snaking his arm around Melanie’s waist. Olivia stared at him as he kissed Melanie’s neck affectionately. She hated how much he reminded her of his brother. She wondered if he had known about her all along, too.

  “Hey. You almost ready?” Mo asked, surprising Olivia. She didn’t even realize he was standing next to her. Turning her head toward him as he stood with his arm around Kiera, she noticed Alexander walk in.

  “Yup. Let’s do this.” Olivia spun on her heel, not wanting to stare into Alexander’s sad eyes any longer, torn about whether she should still want to be with a man who kept her past from her.

  “Hey all! We’re back!” Mo shouted into the microphone to enthusiastic applause once the band was set to begin. “And, thankfully, we have the whole band back as well. Miss Olivia Adler, everyone!”

  The crowd cheered as Olivia scanned the audience, her eyes locking with Alexander’s. Mo stepped aside from the microphone, bringing a barstool in front for her to sit on.

  “How’s everyone doing tonight?” She grabbed the microphone out of the stand and sat down on the stool. “I know many of you have already heard about my little break-up.” The audience laughed politely as they kept their eyes glued on her. “All my life, I’ve had difficulties expressing my feelings, except through music,” she explained. “Earlier this week, I went for a run and a song came on my iPod that I think does a pretty good job at saying exactly how I feel. So that’s what I’d like to sing for you all tonight. And for Alexander.” A tear fell down her cheek. “This is Last Love Song by Z.Z. Ward. Alexander, I need this to be the last love song I sing for you unless you can tell me the truth. Please.”

  Olivia nodded at Mo and he started playing the simple guitar line. Her chin trembled a bit as she began to sing about the wedding that would never be and the life with Alexander that was suddenly a distant dream.

  Cam stood watching as Olivia sat on her barstool, her eyes trained on Alexander, singing every word for him and him alone. He finally realized that he was crazy for thinking that she would ever see him as anything other than a distraction from the pain. He wanted so much more from her…something he knew she would never be able to give him, no matter how things ended between her and Alexander.

  “I need to get out of here,” he said to Bridget.

  She looked at him. “Where are you going?”

  Cam glanced back at the stage, taking one last look at Olivia. “Home. Where I belong.” He turned to leave the bar, stopping when he saw Alexander standing in the back of the room with his eyes fixed on Olivia.

  “Alexander,” he said, reaching his hand out toward him.

  “Cam,” Alexander replied curtly, shaking it.

  “I just want to say this as a friend of Olivia’s. She’s hurting, but she’s still madly in love with you. You need to do the right thing. Maybe if she knows about her past, she can move on from this and start living again. I don’t think she’ll ever be able to move past you if you don’t.”

  Alexander looked at Cam, surprised at his candor. “What the fuck qualifies you for knowing what she needs?! You don’t know her like I do!” he yelled before lowering his voice. “How can she move on? I love her.”

  Cam exhaled loudly, running his fingers through his hair. “Then prove it to her. Do the right thing.”

  Alexander simply stared as Cam turned abruptly and left the bar, knowing that he was right. Looking over at the still crowd, he listened to Olivia pour her heart out to complete strangers, the betrayal in her voice absolutely devastating. He wished that he wasn’t the c
ause of that pain.

  He had been a coward back in August when he kept the truth from her. Every day since then, he had let his fears get the better of him. Cam was right. She deserved to know everything, regardless of her father’s wishes, and that’s what he resolved to do. It was time to come clean and tell her everything.

  Remorse overwhelmed him as he watched Olivia close her eyes, her chin quivering with unshed tears. She belted out the last few lines of the song, a hollow look on her face. The audience erupted in cheers and whistles as the final note rang through the bar.

  Taking a small bow, she turned to Mo, tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry, Mo. I have to go. Can you…?”

  “Don’t worry, kid. I’ll break down your gear.” He embraced her, squeezing her tight. “I love you, Livvy.”

  “Oh, Mo. I love you, too.”

  “And Alexander loves you,” he whispered. “I’m sure of that.”

  She pulled back, meeting Mo’s eyes. “But I’m not sure if I should keep loving him.” She walked away, running into Melanie and Bridget. “Where’s Cam?” she asked, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

  “He said he went home. He looked so sad, though.”

  “Home?” Olivia asked. “What do you mean?”

  “He said it was where he belonged,” Bridget explained.

  “I need to go,” she said quickly, knowing that Cam was probably already on his way to the airport. “Where’s Kiera?”

  “She left right after you went on. She said she wasn’t feeling too well and that she would probably just go home. She looked pretty pale.”

  “I hope she’s okay,” Olivia said, her voice full of concern.

  “She said she hadn’t been feeling well all day and just needed to lie down for a bit. She said not to worry about her and that she’d call you tomorrow sometime when she was feeling better.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you later!” Olivia shouted, heading down the stairs and out the front door to try to catch Cam before he left.

  “Olivia?” a quiet voice called out.

  She stilled, her breath catching. Slowly, she turned around to face Alexander. It was the first time she had been that close to him since the day she left him. The day she found out who he was. He looked so sad. The normal confidence he exuded was nowhere to be found. He was broken.

  “What is it, Alexander?”

  “I just wanted to say how sorry I am about everything that’s happened between us,” he said quietly, his eyes pleading with her. “I wanted to tell you for so long, but the longer I kept it from you, the harder it was to say anything.”

  Olivia kept her fierce brown eyes glued to his, wanting him to continue talking. Taking a step forward, he brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes, reveling in the contact she had ached for since leaving him.

  Alexander chuckled a little as his thumb brushed over the scar at her hairline. “I remember when you got this. You were screaming bloody murder after slipping on these rocks in front of your family’s beach estate. You cut your head wide open and I had to run and find your mom and explain how you got hurt. We weren’t supposed to be on the rocks.”

  Olivia’s bottom lip started to quiver as she listened to him recall the memory. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything about her past, but then again, she didn’t. She felt so weak at that moment. She wanted to walk away from Alexander and never see him again. But, at the same time, she wanted to stay close to him, to hear everything he had to say, to feel his body next to hers.

  “You were such a pain in the ass when you were little. A spoiled little brat. But I loved you so much, Olivia, even when you always cheated at the games we used to play. The day of the accident, I was beside myself. I’ll never forget sitting through your funeral. Your casket was so small.” A tear escaped from his eye as he recalled the painful memory. “I couldn’t help but think how truly horrible it was to watch them lower you into the ground.”

  Olivia listened to Alexander’s words as she tried to fight back her tears, the entire time wondering what he went through when he was a little boy. Losing your best friend at such a young age is something no child should have to go through.

  “My parents put me in therapy after that,” he explained. “I never snapped out of it. By that time, Dad had begun his mysterious disappearing act. I hated him for that. I hated him for thinking that one of his stupid protection details was more important than his own son. Until recently, I had no idea it was you that he was looking out for.” He gently brushed a tear away from her eye before continuing his story.

  “My therapist suggested that I find some way to honor your memory.” He looked down and reached for her, a warmth spreading through his body from the chaste contact of her delicate hand enclosed in his. “That’s when I started going to the cemetery every year on the date of your death. I think she suggested it so that I would finally stop looking for you everywhere.” He returned his eyes to hers, his expression intense. “But I never stopped, Olivia. I just didn’t want to believe that you were dead.

  “I think I had such a hard time believing it because I knew you made it out of that car. I was the one who saved you. I’m the boy with green eyes that you see in your dreams. I should have told you the first time you mentioned the dream, but I was selfish and I didn’t, and I know I’ll have to live with that decision for the rest of my life.”

  “In my dream, when I saw the green-eyed boy, or you, get hit over the head…”

  “That did happen.”

  “I dreamed that my dad was still alive. Do you think…?”

  “Olivia, listen to me, please.” He clasped both of her hands between his. “I promised that I would keep everything quiet, but I’ve made that promise in the past, and I’ve lost you because of it.”

  Olivia stared into Alexander’s eyes, searching them for the answer she yearned to hear.

  “Yes. Your father is still alive.”

  She gasped, fighting for air as her legs gave out from the shock of his words. Alexander reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around her to steady her.

  “I just don’t understand!” she cried out. “Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?! Where is he?!”

  He looked down at her, tears flowing down her cheeks as he contemplated what he should tell her. Technically, her father was still under protection so he couldn’t divulge any information to her about his whereabouts or his name, but she needed something.

  “I’m right here, Livvy,” a voice said.

  Alexander and Olivia both snapped their heads in the direction of the voice.

  Olivia stared at the man in front of her, unable to believe her eyes. She would recognize his face anywhere, even if it had aged a bit since she had seen him last. The face belonged to her father.

  “Daddy?!” Olivia cried out, pushing away from Alexander’s embrace. “Is it really you? Please tell me this isn’t just another dream and I’m about to wake up screaming.”

  Jack DeLuca wrapped his arms around her, comforting her tears. “It’s really me, Livvy. I’m not going anywhere ever again, but we have to be careful. You can’t call me by my real name. You have to call me Nathan.”

  “I don’t care what I have to call you. As long as you’re alive, that’s all I care about,” Olivia sobbed.

  “Oh, Livvy. I made such a huge mistake letting Alex’s dad take you away from me after your mom was killed. I’ve spent every minute of my life looking for you since that awful day. I’ve been waiting for this moment for over twenty years.”

  Olivia couldn’t control her tears any longer. She had experienced such extreme emotions over the past several weeks and she was tired of trying to keep it all together.

  “It’s okay, baby girl. Let it all out,” he soothed, rubbing his daughter’s back.

  Alexander met Jack’s eyes and he knew that Olivia was in good hands. He quietly walked away, knowing he still needed to tell her everything. However, right now, she needed her father more than him.

&nbs
p; CHAPTER TWENTY

  THE POINT OF NO RETURN

  “DONOVAN, IT’S GRANT. I did what you asked me to do.”

  “Excellent.”

  “What’s next?”

  “Proceed as planned, and let me know as soon as you make contact with the girl.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Donovan clicked the receiver before dialing, thankful that something was finally going right. “Cheryl, it’s me. Get ready, and tell Simon to get ready, as well.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  THE FOLLOWING DAY, OLIVIA was still reeling from the revelation that her father was alive and in the same city. He drove her home the previous night and they sat on her couch talking for hours. By the time he left, promising that he would be in touch, she had all but forgotten about Cam and wanting to find him. When she finally remembered, he was long gone. Maybe it was for the best that he left without saying good-bye. That seemed to be how it was with them.

  As she paced her living room, ready to burst from wanting to share her good news with someone, she glanced at the time and decided to give Kiera a call, hoping that she would be awake and feeling better than the night before.

  “Libby,” Kiera croaked into the phone, picking up right before the call went to voicemail.

  “Hey, Kiera. Are you okay? You don’t sound too good.”

  There was a brief pause. “Sorry. I’m fine. Just feeling a little under the weather.”

  “Do you want me to bring you something?”

  “NO!” Kiera screeched.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked hesitantly. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

  Olivia heard Kiera take a deep breath. “Yes. I’m fine. Mo and I just had a little argument. That’s all.” She let out a small cry.

  “Oh. I’ll be there in an hour.”