PORN STARS... More Than Just Moans

by Joseph, Fabiola;L. Ramsey, Matthew

  “Yeah, it’s about time a nigga got some recognition, but hey, you’re the queen of the night. Six wins and counting, I know old Bobby probably jumped for joy over that shit.”

  “Yeah, he seemed happy about it, so, you two good?” I asked while nudging Jamar on the side. Although he liked to deny it, I had always picked up the vibe that simmered between him and Blaze. They may have fucked each other for pay and play in the past, but clearly it wasn’t enough.

  “Well, I’m gonna head out to the dance floor, you two have fun.”

  Again I took Lust’s hand and let the sound wave be my guide. We hit the crowded dance floor and had a ball. Within minutes, we were joined by everyone else. Hours would pass without anyone’s knowledge.

  “Are you all still trying to hit up Rain tonight?”

  DeeDee looked like she was still in party mode so we all decided to go and check out Rain. We had only been there for less than an hour and Ebony was becoming unbearable.

  “Girl, I am getting tired of Ebony’s ass; she can’t hold her liquor for shit.”

  I had taken a bathroom break with DeeDee and Jamar to clean up the mess all of the dancing left behind.

  “I keep trying to tell her ass to slow down but she’s claiming that tonight is her night and she’ll party if she wants to. I just left her alone about it ‘cause I know she’ll regret that shit in the morning.”

  I had stayed as far from Ebony as possible since we left the Ghost bar, she was working my last nerve yelling like she had no sense. I was having too much of a good time to let her ruin my time with Lust. Plus she was really Jamar and DeeDee’s friends, so I was going to let them deal with her ass.

  “I’m gonna go and talk to the bartender and ask him not to serve her anymore alcohol,”

  Jamar said as we headed back out to the club area. As he spoke to the bartender, I ordered Lust and I another bottle of Dom Perignon. As I turned around to head back to the table, the shit hit the fan between Tyree and Ebony. I looked over at Jamar to see if he was catching the drunken exchange and he was. We walked over in time to catch the end of it. Tyree grabbed the glass out of her hand and slammed it on the table causing it to shatter. All eyes were on them as we waited to see what Ebony’s next move would be. I was expecting her to go off on Tyree but instead she just said goodnight. I looked around and took a mental note of what everybody’s face looked like. I just wish that I could have seen my own as DeeDee helped Ebony back to her room.

  The crazy outburst could have put a major damper on our little party but I wasn’t having it. I bugged Jamar and Lust until they slung back their drinks and made sure that we headed back out to the dance floor to live up our night. Tyree was a lost cause. He was still steaming and headed for the bar. I said “fuck it” about him. If Tyree wanted to be a party-pooper, well I wasn’t going anywhere near him. The three of us danced until we were about to pass out. I was about to call it a night before realizing that I hadn’t gone gambling yet.

  “Who comes to Vegas and doesn’t try their luck, I have to at least try?”

  After a short conversation with Jamar, we were heading up to my room for a quick change and so that I could grab my purse. On our way there, Lust and I sent each other telepathic messages with our eyes and all was understood.

  *****

  I just knew that my eyes were deceiving me. There was no way I was watching Ebony and Tyree go at it. What the fuck were they thinking? I looked around the room and took in everyone’s reactions. Lust had a weird look on his face that I couldn’t decipher and Jamar’s face was demented. He looked like his heart had gone black and died. When I turned back to the betrayers, they were so deep into their deception that they never noticed us standing there. I took a couple of steps back and inched my way to the door. I grabbed the knob and pulled it shut hard. I prayed that the noise would stop the two heathens from dancing the Devil’s waltz. When they did turn around I almost wanted to laugh. They looked like they were about to shit on themselves, well Tyree more than Ebony. I walked over to Lust and leaned into him. I got comfortable and waited for the shit storm that was sure to hit this room.

  “You think you’re “Krave”, but I have what your man really craves, and that’s PUSSY! So don’t be mad at me because I got that REAL wet-wet.”

  I squeezed Lust’s hand so hard that he wrapped his left arm around my waist to calm me down. I couldn’t believe that Ebony had just said those words to Jamar. “But I have what your man really craves?” is she fucking crazy? I felt like fucking that bitch up myself.

  “When you told me I should be carefully with whom I trust, you should’ve been referring to your damn self,” Jamar said with rage filled eyes. This shit was like watching a Spanish telenovelas, and when Ebony hit the “I was” my blood was boiling. Jamar looked like he was searching for something to throw at the bitch and I prayed he found it soon. When he decided on his weapon of choice, he flung it at her head with me cheering him on, on the inside. I wanted the ashtray to split her wig, and as I waited for my dream to come true, the bitch moved just in time for it to miss her. I tried to pull away from Lust so that I could try my hand at throwing something but he pulled me back, DAMN! But it was as if Jamar had read my mind. He headed for the lamp and I knew that one wasn’t going to miss her, but there was interference this time by Tyree. He took the lamp out of Jamar’s hand and tried to hold on to him while spiting bullshit about how Jamar could have killed Ebony. How dare he care about that bitch. I tell you this much, if he did kill her, I would have stayed in that room all night trying to help him come up with a lie that would spare him from jail time.

  I wanted to jump for joy when I saw blood trickling from Tyree’s mouth. The blows that Jamar landed made an impact and that sent Tyree over the edge. He pushed his lover to the ground and stood over him ready to strike a blow. I escaped Lust’s grip and jumped on Tyree. In my mind, he had no right to fight back. He was the one caught with his bare dick in Ebony.

  “Hold up Ty—.”

  That’s all I got out before he went all Supermen on me. He flung my little ass into the wall hard as hell. I grabbed my head to try and stop the hurt from the thump I endured while Lust came to my rescue by grabbing Tyree and putting him in his place.

  “Whoa! Hold up man. You need to calm down. There’s no need to put your hands on her.”

  Tyree tried to apologize but he was lower than dirt in my eyes now. As Jamar asked and waited for answers that would help him understand the unbelievable. I asked if he wanted Lust and I to leave. This was embarrassing enough without having Lust and I intruding any more than we already did. He said no and got right back in Tyree’s face. I put my hand on his shoulder hoping that this would have a calming effect on him. They went back and forth with Ebony adding her unwanted two cents in. Standing there was torture, my heart ached for Jamar and my temper flared when I thought of the other two. I had really hoped that Jamar would tell us to leave but since he didn’t, we were stuck being witnesses to his heartbreak.

  “That means that I can’t be with you anymore and both of you need to find a place to live when you two get back to L.A.”

  Jamar had finally said what I was waiting to hear. Both of them needed to fucking leave his house PRONTO! They were two trifling motherfuckers. He walked out of the room and I went after him. I knew that this was a bitter ass pill to swallow and wanted to offer him my support. I almost lost it when he turned around. Tears streamed down his face like heavy raindrops. Although seeing Lust again had only come second to my winnings that night, I was prepared to walk away from him and console Jamar.

  “Jamar if you want me to, or need me to, I’ll go get my stuff right now and fly back to L.A. with you.”

  I held my breath and waited. It would have been tuff but I was ready to go back to L.A. with him.

  “Don’t let those trifling hoes ruin your experience too, besides, that sexy ass man behind you is waiting.”

  I turned around and looked at Lust who was leaning against the wall
. It felt so good just knowing that he was there with me. I had missed him terribly. I couldn’t wait to unload and get some alone time with him.

  “Okay, Jamar, but as soon as I get back I’m coming to see you.”

  *****

  “Can you believe that shit, I did not see that one coming?” I asked Lust as we sat at the bar. My mind was spinning as I thought about the events of the night.

  “So, you mean to tell me that Ebony is Jamar’s best friend? Wow, that’s some messed up shit. Why would she do something like that to him? He seems like a really cool cat.”

  “He is sweet as pie and he’s been so helpful to that bitch. He even pulled some strings to get her into Fantasy, and this is how she repays him. Ugh, don’t even get me started. I feel like killing that bitch.”

  Lust smiled and rubbed my back. It turned him on to see me so heated.

  “Well, I hope Jamar is okay. I don’t even want to know how he’s feeling right now.”

  As Lust and I went back and forth about the situation, DeeDee and Mr. Cappello came walking up.

  “Damn Jazzy who the hell died, you look like you lost your puppy or something.”

  I slung back my cocktail and hopped off of the barstool. I pulled DeeDee to the side and gave her the lowdown.

  “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, SHE WAS FUCKING TYREE THE WHOLE TIME? BOBBY, COME HERE, YOU’VE GOT TO HEAR THIS SHIT!” she yelled in disbelief. I watched Mr. Cappello’s reaction as he learned the news of his suspected bedmate and it wasn’t pretty. He looked like someone had turned the heat in the bar on high. His face was a red as a beet.

  “So where’s Jamar? At least tell me that he’s up there beating both of their asses?”

  “No, he should be on his way back to L.A. I just feel so bad for him. Finding out the way he did was like a kick in the gut,” I said as I waved the bartender back over.

  “Let me have eight rounds of Patron, two for each of us.”

  I was already half past drunk and the shots took me even further into the place called FUCKED UP.

  “Well, I’m going to put this bullshit on the backburner and tell you the good news that I just got. Because you are the big winner of the night, I was able to get my good friend at the Black Oasis to feature you tomorrow night.”

  DeeDee and Lust seemed to be beaming with light, but I was still lost.

  “What is the Black Oasis?”

  “Girl, you don’t know shit. Remember that strip club we walked by on our way to the amusement park?”

  “The one that you told me was in the movie about the strippers who were also assassins, oh, my god. They want me to perform there, that’s like really big, right?”

  “Hell yes that’s big, baby, it’s “Thee” biggest strip club in Vegas. Only the big acts perform there,” Lust said with pride and joy.

  “If they want you that means “you’re it,” Jazzy. Trust me I was the feature three years ago. They are going to treat you like royalty. No one does it better than them. After you do this, you won’t have to do porn if you don’t want to. You will be able to work any club and strip for big money.”

  “Don’t go telling her that shit, Dee, she our big money maker. We wouldn’t want to lose her to doing shows in Vegas.” Mr. Cappello said with a grin. He may have been smiling, but we all knew that he would have hated losing me while I was at the top of my game.

  “Nonetheless, you are going make a big impact in this crazy world of porn. Hell, you already have. Here’s to you, don’t let us down tomorrow night. I’ll be calling Gina for a full report,” Mr. Cappello said as he held up his shot glass.

  “You guys won’t be there?” I asked DeeDee and her man.

  “We have to get back to work, my dear. But I have arranged for you to stay three more days. Depending on how well you do Gina may ask you to do a second night. Now you don’t have to do it but feel things out. If you like it the first time around, I say go for it. You may bring out the hard core fans that second night that didn’t hear about your first time around. As far as the third day, well you and Lust just take that time to get reacquainted.”

  They stayed and got me all pumped up for another 20 minutes or so before they left. They had an early flight in the morning and retreated to the high priced suite for much needed rest. I couldn’t believe how cool Mr. Cappello was about me being with Lust right in his face. Hell, he damn near encouraged it. It made me wonder if he was trying to get me away from his son or his son away from me.

  *****

  Lust and I returned to an empty suite that had somehow been cleaned up. There was no sign of the train wreck that had taken place in the suite less than two hours before and I was thankful that it not only was clean but that Ebony seemed to have packed her things and was gone.

  “Can you believe they want me, little old me?” I asked, as I lay beside Lust on my heart-shaped bed.

  “Of course I can. You’re Jezebel, the new cummer of the year.” He joked as he ran his hands up my thigh. I had over done it on the drinks and he half way had to carry me to my room.

  “I would have never thought that fucking on film would have taken me all the way here, do you know what I mean? My name will be on a big marquee tomorrow night and people will leave their homes just to come see me. That is fucking crazy,” I said as I looked up into the ceiling mirror. Big things were happening to me, but inside I still felt like the same wide eyed girl who went to L.A. to become a star. I still felt like the plain normal person I had always been. I still needed to see myself as a rising porn star that was starting to get recognized for her ability to fuck on film…well. Lust noticed my change of mood and knew that it could have gone south at any moment. The highs of our profession were short. You may have felt like you were on top of the world for a long minute but for some, when the reality of remembering that it was all because of porn set in, the high quickly became a low. So my sweet and thoughtful distant lover got my mind off of the issue at hand.

  “How about I get a preview of what you’re going to dish out tomorrow night. Maybe I can give you some pointers,” he joked, but all in all seriousness, he had missed me sexually too. He would have killed to see me get on that pole and get a rise in his pants. He hadn’t known that I had been doing some moonlighting around L.A.’s top strip clubs so he was in for a surprise. I stood up and while almost tipping to the side, I managed to slip my dress off. I picked up the remote and started to dance to the first song that came on as he sat in one of the chairs. He was surprised as hell when I jumped on the pole and spun around while doing a split in the air. I stripped for him like a pro.

  “Damn, Jasmine, who knew you had these moves under your belt? Think you’re in the wrong profession,” he joked.

  I watched him as he gazed at me. Something was different in the way he stared at me. At the clubs, the men there looked at you like a piece of meat. You could read them from a mile away. They were just thinking about doing nasty things to you. Yes Lust wanted me but it went deeper than just wanting to know how my insides felt. I stopped dancing and walked over to him. I got on my knees in front of him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I leaned into him and rested my head in his lap. He felt so strong, so safe, and so good. He reached over for the remote and turned the radio off. His hand rested in my hair as I said the things that had seemed to be suffocating me for the last few months.

  “I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. My mind was filled with thoughts of you and I really didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t know if I should hate you or if you hated me for reacting so crazy after getting the information Breeze gave me. I wasn’t sure if you did ever see me, that you would even let me explain and—.”

  “Jasmine…”

  He waited for me to look up at him.

  “There hasn’t been a day where I don’t think of you. I—.”

  “So why didn’t you come and see me Lust? We work for the same company; it wouldn’t have been that hard to find me. I just kept asking myself why hasn’t he been up he
re, why?”

  “To tell you the truth, I didn’t know if you wanted to see me. I didn’t know if me walking into Fantasy Pictures was going to set you off or if it would fuck up things between you and Breeze.”

  I scrunched up my face and was somewhat disgusted by the mere mention of Breeze.

  “You act like he’s my man or something.”

  “Isn’t he?”

  His question left me speechless. Did Breeze fit in the spot reserved for “my man”?

  “WELL?”

  His question came out a level higher than the last. The thought of that “slimy motherfucka” as Lust liked to call him, touching me pissed him off. He had known Breeze for many years and had heard some things about how he got down when it came to business. The only reason he even dealt with him was because of the pay and the name he had built for himself through the company.

  “NO, he is NOT my man. He, he’s just there.”

  That was the best that I could come up with and that didn’t get past Lust. He knew it was a bullshit answer.

  “Well, how can we ever get “HERE” if his occupying that space, you can’t have the both of us you know?”

  “I never said that I wanted the both of you. I know what I want, but my question is, if he’s available?”

  He knew what I was talking about. His marriage from what I had heard was still in limbo.

  He leaned up in the chair and reached in his pocket. He pulled out his stash of weed and a blunt. This conversation as about to get deep and he needed something to calm his nerves.

  “Want to join me?”

  I didn’t answer verbally but took the illegal drug and went to work. Ten minutes later I was giving the freshly rolled weed the last lick before lighting it. We did nothing but inhale and exhale for the next 20 minutes or so. My last inquisition hung in the air with the smoke that escaped out of our lips. With both of us deep in our own thoughts, the blunt finished with him putting it out only when it reached “roach” status. When Lust stood up, I had no idea where he was going but he soon showed me. He took my hand and helped me up. He walked over to the couch and asked me to join him. I sat next to him, facing him, kind of afraid of what he was about to say.