Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  Once I was settled, she stretched out on the sofa and put her legs across my lap. I looked over at her. “Don’t distract me or I will have my way with you whether you’re sore or not.”

  “Promises, promises.” I put down the report I was reading and turned to her. She put her hands up and laughed. “Okay, no distractions.”

  I smiled and turned back to the report. The paperclip that held together the bundle of papers had gotten caught on one of the reports. “Son of a bitch!” After I wrestled with the paperclip, I threw it on the coffee table.

  I watched as Rachael leaned over and grabbed the paperclip. Her ass was in the air as she reached for it without getting off the sofa, and I was very tempted to swat it, but she said she was sore. Who the hell was I kidding? I smacked it. I just held back on the sting a little.

  “Ooh!” She got all the way back on the sofa with the paperclip, but rubbed her backside where I hit it.

  “I told you not to distract me.”

  “I’d make you kiss it, but I think you’d enjoy that too much.”

  “I think you would, too. Want to test it?”

  She waved me off and started looking at the paperclip. I tried to read the reports, but she was too distracting. Her concentration on the small object got my curiosity up. I watched her for a few minutes.

  She sat up and put the paperclip on the coffee table. “I should get going.”

  I narrowed my eyes and grabbed her hand before she walked away. “What is it?”

  “Nothing. I should let you get to work, and I think I could use a nice warm tub.”

  “You can use the Jacuzzi again.”

  She tried to take her hand back, but I hung on tighter and pulled her to my lap. “I really need to go.”

  “What is it?” I bent over and picked up the paperclip. “What went through that head of yours?”

  She took the paperclip from my hand and concentrated on it again. She rubbed her fingers over the section that had been bent from being caught on the staple. Her eyes filled up with tears.

  “Hey.” I covered her hand to get her to stop looking at it. “It’s just a paperclip.”

  She shook her head. “It’s just like life.” She held it up. “Once it’s bent, there will always be that ding, that imperfection, reminding you that you’ll never be right again.” She bent the paperclip to put it back in place and it broke. She held up both pieces. “It just gets to be too much and it breaks.” She looked at the pieces in her hands. “Eventually, everything breaks.”

  I fought to keep her in my arms, but she pushed her way out of them. “Rach, I’m not sure where this is coming from. It’s just a paperclip.”

  “But it isn’t!” She started pacing. “I’ve got to go.”

  I stood and stopped her. “Talk to me. Tell me where this is coming from.”

  “I slept with someone.”

  I took a step back and scowled. “Who?”

  “A while ago. I slept with a model and now I’m stuck working for Hathaway for the rest of my life. I’m stuck in a job where I hate editing photos for a bitch who knows nothing about taking them and I can’t do anything to stop it.

  “I’m stuck in some apartment alone because no one wants to marry me. I’m not the type of girl you bring home to momma.” She stopped pacing to look at me. “I fucked you in your office!

  “It doesn’t matter, though.” She grabbed her purse. “I’ve never wanted the family life. I wanted the road. I wanted to be free and not tied down to kids or have a husband to answer to.” She laughed a humorless laugh. “But I am tied down, and I do have to answer to Hathaway.” She shook her head. “If he found out we were fucking, my life would be ruined.”

  She walked out. I let her go even though I didn’t want to. She needed time to work through whatever it was she was feeling, and I needed time to figure out what the hell she just said. I grabbed my phone to call Jim. If anyone would know, he would and he’d better start talking.

  I dug into the ice cream as soon as I got home. I didn’t even bother with the bowl. Being alone did have its perks. I tried to ignore the buzzer on the door. I didn’t want to talk to Carl. I embarrassed myself and it would be a few days before I went back over there.

  “I know you’re in there, Rachael.” Drew was outside the door knocking. “I saw your car.”

  I put the ice cream down and walked over to open the door. “I’m not really up for company tonight.”

  Terri, Drew’s best friend, walked past me. “Tough. We have a wedding crisis and need a tie breaker.” She looked at the ice cream and tissues on the coffee table and then turned back to me. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. What happened?”

  I shrugged and padded back over to my ice cream.

  “Did you guys have a fight?” Drew walked over and sat next to me. “What was it about?”

  Terri sat in the chair across from us. “You know who she’s dating? Why am I the last to know?”

  Drew looked to me and shrugged. “It’s up to you if you want to tell her.”

  “Go ahead. She’s going to bug me until she finds out anyway. Plus, I’m not really sure he wants to see me anymore after tonight.”

  “Will someone please tell me who this person is? Do I know him?”

  “Terri, now if I tell you who Rachael is seeing, you have to promise me to keep your opinion to yourself. This isn’t the time to go off about it.”

  Terri had helped Drew get through what her ex-boyfriend had done to her. They were more than best friends; they were like sisters. She and her husband, Mark, had taken Drew in after the loss of her baby. She also helped her when she was dating both my brother, Dennis, and Carl at the same time. Terri wasn’t a fan of Carl.

  I knew she would have something to say and I needed to get it over with. “I was dating Carl, but you can shut it and keep your opinion to yourself because the sex was good.” I took a big bite of ice cream. “And that’s all I cared about.”

  “Are you out of your mind?” She stood and paced. “Carl is a controlling, sexist pig. He wants you barefoot and pregnant and at his beck and call. You can do much better than Carl.”

  I stabbed my ice cream with my spoon and stood up. “If that’s how you’re going to talk about him, you can just leave. He’s helped me. He’s supported me. He’s loved me!”

  The room got quiet. The door opened and Deb walked in. “Hey Rachael.” She stopped and looked at me and Terri face-to-face and Drew sitting down. “What’s going on?”

  Terri spoke. “We’re just listening to how much Carl loves Rachael.” She motioned toward the ice cream and tissues. “Doesn’t this just scream love?”

  “I didn’t mean love like that.” I picked up the ice cream and headed toward the kitchen.

  Drew followed. “Hey, we can go and I’ll check on you later okay. We should’ve called first, but I saw your car when we drove by—”

  I shut the freezer door and crossed my arms. “No, you can stay. I want to help you with your wedding crisis. I just don’t want to talk about Carl anymore.”

  “Did something happen?”

  I shook my head. “No, he wanted me to stay. He did nothing wrong.”

  She rubbed my arm. “I’m always available for you if you ever want to talk.”

  I linked my arm with hers and nodded. “Let’s go solve your wedding dilemma.”

  Once we walked back out to the living room, it got quiet. It was hard to say what they were talking about, but Deb looked guilty and Terri looked confused. Deb stood. “I should get going and leave you all to your . . . whatever you’re doing.”

  Drew spoke up. “You can stay, you know. We are going to be family, so we probably should hang out.”

  “Am I on candid camera?” Terri looked at all of us. “Rachael’s dating Carl and you two are going to try to be buddies?” She shook her head and leaned back into the sofa.

  Deb was quiet as she thought about the invitation. I nodded slightly when she looked my way. I wanted her to know it wa
s okay to stay and that I wanted her to. “Well, I’ll stay for a little while, but I don’t want to intrude.”

  Drew waved her off. “You’re not intruding. You can actually help us decide.” Drew picked up her bag and took her laptop out. “We’re debating about the flowers for the wedding and reception. I want it to be simple, but not plain.”

  Deb looked uncomfortable during most of the debate about which flowers to use. Once we got to the centerpieces, she’d had enough.

  “May I see your laptop?” She took it from Drew and worked on it for a few minutes while we watched and wondered what she was doing. She turned the screen to us and had a perfect centerpiece displayed. “It won’t look exactly like this. The only thing I don’t like about the software is it limits your ability to arrange the flowers, but you get the general idea.”

  Drew grabbed a tissue and started crying. Deb looked to me. I didn’t know what was happening. I thought it was beautiful. The only thing I recognized had been the roses and peonies, but it all looked beautiful.

  Deb turned the laptop back to herself. “I just listened to what you said, but I can change anything.”

  “No.” Drew was drying her eyes. “It’s beautiful the way it is. Will you help me with the rest of the flowers?”

  I glanced over at Terri to see her reaction. She isn’t as much of a hard ass as she’d like people to think. She was trying to suppress it, but the smile was still there. She noticed me looking at her and she shrugged. The rest of the evening went a lot better than I had planned. I left the ice cream in the freezer and had a much-needed girls’ night in.

  After a couple of hours, it was just Deb left and I was going to take the opportunity to get some answers. “So, are you going home tonight or are you going to wherever it is when you say you’re staying here?”

  She looked at her watch and adjusted it. “He’s in bed by now, so I’ll probably go home.”

  I sat up. “You’re seeing someone? Why haven’t I heard about this?”

  “I wouldn’t call it seeing someone. Although, I have seen a lot of him.” She smiled and took a sip of her wine.

  “Wow.” I took a sip and sat back, lifting my feet beside me. “So this isn’t going anywhere?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “I don’t really want it to go anywhere. I just want the sex.”

  “What does Joseph say about it?”

  “He’s a little concerned, but he understands. I’m not sleeping with different people every night, so he seems to be getting better with it.” She thought for a moment. “I think he would just rather I not put myself into any situations where I could get hurt. I’ve assured him, my heart is not on the line.”

  I looked away.

  She got up and came over to sit next to me. She waved my feet off the sofa. “Move.” She sat and wrapped her arm around me. “I know Carl loves you, too.”

  “Maybe not after tonight.” I glanced at her. “I kind of went nuts over a bent paperclip.”

  “What?” She shook her head, confused.

  “I . . . He had bent a paperclip when he took it off the paperwork he was looking at, and I realized how much like life that was. Once there’s an imperfection, you can’t make it right again. You can’t make it perfect again.”

  “The imperfections are what make us who we are. You don’t want to be like a Stepford wife, do you?”

  I mumbled, “I’ll never be anyone’s wife.”

  “I seem to remember a time where you would say that with a little more conviction and you were happy about it.”

  I stood. “I know. I’ve wanted the road. I wanted to be my own person. In the beginning, things were really good with Hathaway. He made me see how a relationship could work.” I looked down. “Or how I thought it could work.”

  “Lance is an asshole. You can do, and have done much better than him. What does Carl make you feel?”

  “He makes me want to be better. I want to be the girl he wants to take home to his family, the girl he wants to show off, a girl he’s proud to call his.” I turned and pointed at her. “And if you tell anyone that, I’ll kill you.”

  She waved off my threat. “You don’t think you already are?”

  I shrugged and thought about the last time I was in his office. That wasn’t nice girl, wife behavior. That was bad girl, naughty girlfriend behavior.

  “I think you need to go on a date.”

  I looked at her. “A date?”

  “Yes. You need a date.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch Amy while you two go, but you need to go. You’ve gone from . . . whatever you were to lovers. You need to date.”

  I stood there stunned as she walked by and bopped my arm. I shrugged and walked over to lock the door after Deb left. It did sound fun.

  Carl was too excited about our date. It was almost as if he put Deb up to it because he thought I wouldn’t go. Maybe I shouldn’t have played into this fantasy. It would hurt more when he realized what Lance had realized and moved on.

  I woke up out of my pity party stupor to realize he was driving out of town. “Where are we going?”

  “It’s just a little place outside of town. When I heard Deb was watching Amy, I knew we could take the drive.” He reached over and put his hand on my knee. “Besides, we’ll have better luck not to run into anyone I know here.”

  “Oh.” I looked out the window.

  He glanced at me twice and squeezed my knee. “Did you want to stay in town?”

  I shook my head, but continued looking out the window. It was hard enough to hear he didn’t want to run into people while out with me. I didn’t want to hear his excuses for it, too.

  He squeezed my knee again. “Hey, I don’t want to talk about work all night and if people see me, they will come over and pitch me ideas. I’d rather spend my time talking to you.”

  I felt childish for my thoughts and stayed quiet on the rest of the drive there.

  We pulled up to what looked like a large farmhouse. When I turned to look at him, I was met with a kiss. I placed my hand on the side of his face and kissed him back.

  “You didn’t think I was hiding you, did you? You seem to be obsessed by that. I will never hide you.”

  I looked down and straightened his already straight tie. “That or you were bringing me out to kill me and dump my body where they’d never find me.”

  He looked up. “Now there’s an idea.”

  I kissed him. “You’d miss me too much.”

  “Well, at least your kisses.” He tried to kiss me again, but I got out of the car. He got out and looked at me over the top. The spark in his eyes caused me to catch my breath. I knew I’d be in for it later, and I was okay with that.

  We walked in, holding hands and for some reason, butterflies hit me. He was proud to have me on his arm. I needed to make sure I didn’t make him regret it.

  It was a quiet, dark place, but not so dark you were bumping into things. We were seated quickly, which was a nice change from always waiting in the city. Everything was simple, yet elegant. There weren’t any fancy paintings or obnoxious centerpieces getting in the way. It was just Carl and me as we sat.

  The hostess attempted to give us menus and Carl held his hand up. “We already know what we’re getting.”

  I looked at him. “We do? I’ve never been here before.”

  He waved the hostess off. “I’ll order for us.”

  I started to play with the napkin on the table. I didn’t want to lose my cool at the beginning of the date. “Carl, I am perfectly capable of ordering my own dinner. I’d like to have the menu.”

  “No.” He gave me a challenging look. “Trust me.”

  I did trust Carl, but I didn’t want to lose myself to this man. I had been afraid of that the first moment he started his chest thumping. Again, I didn’t want to lose my cool at the beginning of the date.

  “If I don’t like what you order, I will change it.”

  “Fine.” He sat up when the waiter c
ame over. The only thing I was allowed to hear was the wine selection. He had whispered the dinner choices in the waiter’s ear. I was a bit concerned since it didn’t seem to take long enough to order for two.

  “So now I don’t even know what I’m going to eat?”

  His look was mischievous as he took a drink of water. I leaned forward to say something, but the wine arrived. I nodded my thanks for the glass the waiter handed to me and took a sip as he walked away. Carl still had a playful look after my last comment.

  I leaned forward and whispered, “If this dinner isn’t good, it will be the only thing I put in my mouth tonight.”

  The corners of his mouth curled up slightly. “It’s a good thing I’m confident. More than this dinner will pass your lips, I can assure you.”

  I sat back and crossed my arms. “Just because this is a date, doesn’t mean I’m a sure thing. We’ll see how the first pass of my lips goes.”

  He sat back and shook his head. “I’m not worried. You’ll be moaning from several things passing several lips tonight.”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

  What had looked like half of the kitchen crew came out with various aspects of our dinner. A stand was set down followed by a can, which was then set on fire. A pot was set on top and the lid removed. A platter of different meats and breads was the next to be set on the table.

  I looked at Carl and raised my eyebrows. I hadn’t expected this. He shrugged one shoulder and handed me a skewer. “Ladies first.”

  I bowed my head in thanks and chose a square of bread. The second it hit my tongue, I moaned. Carl cleared his throat reminding me what he had said. I smiled because I knew he was right, I would be moaning all night at this rate. I could have a little fun with it, though.

  I looked around as I dipped the second bite into the cheese sauce. I let the cheese drip on my extended tongue before taking it all in my mouth. The skewer was pulled between my lips as slowly as I could.

  He adjusted himself on the chair and pulled up to the table a little closer. No doubt to hide the erection he just got. “If you keep that up, there won’t be any time for the dessert. You have to try their chocolate fondue, but only if you’re good.”