Striving for Perfection (Striving Series Book 2)

by Mooney, B. L.

  I smiled and put the skewer down. I needed to take a drink and swallow the lump in my throat. The fact was I wasn’t good. Had I done these things with Lance? Is that why he said I wasn’t the marrying kind? I took another drink.

  Carl’s forehead wrinkled as he drew his eyebrows together. “What did I say? I thought we were having fun.”

  “We are. I was just thirsty.”

  “Rach, talk to me.”

  I held my hand up and decided to become the bad girl I’d always known I was. I needed to accept it. Once Carl was done with me, I’d figure out how to go back on the road and leave my heart out of it.

  I was grateful for small tables and long tablecloths. I slipped my foot out of my heel and leaned back, reaching across to place my foot in his lap. Carl startled when I made contact. His erection got stronger the more I rubbed. Carl took a drink—not a sip—of wine and then grabbed my foot.

  “You’re going to be the death of me.”

  “Good thing we’re out here where I can dump your body, then.”

  He smiled. “I suggest you eat. You’re going to need your strength later.”

  I smiled and picked up another bite. “Promises, promises.”

  The elevator ride to Lance’s office was the longest ride I’d ever taken. There was no explanation for why I was called up. There was just an email telling me to get my ass there. The hallway seemed to grow longer the more I walked toward his door. I took a deep breath and walked in.

  “What’s the emerg—”

  Lance silenced me as soon as I stepped in. He was on the phone and motioned for me to take a seat. Whomever he was speaking with dominated the conversation. My annoyance must’ve been apparent because he kept glancing my way, snapping his fingers as if I were a child. I wished I had some gum to smack at that point.

  He finally hung up and looked at me. “Pack.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Pack your bags. You’ve got a job to do.”

  I sat up. “What do you mean?”

  “A job just opened and you’re going to shoot it.” He started straightening the papers on his desk. “Hurry, we leave at eight tonight. It’s a sunrise shoot, so we’ll be staying over tonight and coming back tomorrow.”

  “Wait, we?”

  “Yes. You don’t think I’m letting you go alone, do you?” He looked at me. “I know you’re fucking Carl Williamson. You should consider yourself lucky I haven’t ruined you yet.”

  I ignored the comment about Carl. “I don’t think going with you is a good idea.”

  “It’s the only way you’re going. Do you want the job or not?”

  There was an internal war going on in my head. Although I was jumping up and down with excitement to work again, did I want to go with Lance? Truth was I wanted to work no matter the conditions. It was killing me not to.

  “Fine, but I’m not happy about it.”

  I walked into my office to shut the computer down and grab my purse. Jimmy was there. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “You’re going, aren’t you?”

  “Of course I’m going. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I think it’s a mistake to be alone with him. He choked you for crying out loud!”

  “Shhh. Keep it down.” I walked around him to turn the computer off. “I have to do this.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  I looked at him. “You don’t know what it does to me to sit in this chair every day and look at photos I should be taking. I’m not going to sit here another minute when he’s finally giving me the chance again.”

  “What about Carl?”

  I turned the monitor off and grabbed my purse. “What about him?”

  “How’s he going to feel if you go with him?”

  “Carl’s a businessman. He’ll understand the need to work.”

  “You aren’t going to tell him you’re going with Lance, are you?”

  “I can take care of myself. I don’t need to clear things with Carl.” I walked past him to leave, but stopped and walked back. I hugged him. “Thanks for worrying about me, but I’ll be okay.”

  I thought about the message I had left on Carl’s phone. I chickened out and called right before I boarded the plane and then turned my phone off. I knew he wouldn’t be happy I was leaving and the fact I was leaving with Lance was going to make it worse.

  “Just like old times.” Lance tried to hold my hand.

  I took my hand back and wiped it on my slacks. “There’s no old time here. We’re together to do a job and we’ve never done that before.” I went back to my magazine.

  “I’d think someone would be more grateful for the opportunity I’m giving them.”

  I ignored his comment and was startled when he snatched the magazine out of my hands. “Hey!” I reached over him to grab it.

  “You’re going to talk to me and show me the respect I deserve.”

  “Oh, I am showing you the respect you deserve, more in fact. I’d rather sit across the plane from you.”

  He grabbed my knee and squeezed causing a yelp to escape. I closed my eyes as he spoke through gritted teeth. “Let me make myself very clear. You will respect me and will act grateful for this opportunity. You will not defy me in any way during this trip or it will be your last.”

  The small talk on the plane was excruciatingly boring, but I let him trudge on about the changes he wanted to make in the condo we used to live in together. I wanted to ask him what Juliet thought about the changes, but I didn’t want him to think it was a green light to discuss that relationship. I’d rather think about the hideous things he wanted to do to the condo than the disgusting things he did with her.

  I was relieved finally to arrive at the hotel. A shower was needed after sitting so close to Lance for so long and I couldn’t wait to get to it. The front desk clerk slid one keycard onto the counter.

  I looked at it, to Lance, and back to the front desk clerk. “One room?”

  She looked at the computer and nodded. “Yes, that’s all that was reserved.”

  “We’ll be fine.” Lance started to walk away.

  “No, we won’t.” I slapped a credit card on the counter. “I need my own room.”

  The clerk started to take the card and Lance snatched it. “One room is all we need.”

  “No, it isn’t. I will not sleep in the same room with you, Hathaway.”

  The manager came up behind the clerk. “Is everything okay here?”

  My eyes never left Lance’s as I spoke. “I need my own room. I will not be in a locked room with you and if you want to keep what little balls you have intact, I suggest you hand over my credit card so I can pay for my own room.”

  His eyes held hatred for me that I’d never seen before. I’d always suspected it, but I had yet to see the level he was putting before me. He held my card up and snapped it in two. “Sleep in the fucking lobby for all I care.” He grabbed his bag and left.

  I dug through my wallet for another credit card, but my hands were shaking too much. The woman behind the counter covered my hands. “Which one?” I pointed and she removed it for me.

  The manager was just standing, watching Lance get on the elevator. Once the elevator door closed, he turned to the woman at the computer. “Put her on a different floor.” He looked at me. “We’ll make sure you’re left alone while you’re here. Do you have anyone to call?”

  I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. He’s just upset right now. He’ll be better once we start work tomorrow.” I signed the credit card slip. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll walk you to your room.” The manager came around the desk. “Here’s my card to call if you need anything. We take safety at this hotel very seriously.”

  “Thank you.”

  Once in the sanctuary of my own room, I broke down. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it to the shoot with him in the morning. He wouldn’t give me any information, so I was dependent on him to get me there. I just wasn’t sure if I was going to make it back.

&nb
sp; I picked up my phone and turned it on. It lit up with messages and voicemails the second it connected. Most of them were from Carl. I knew he wouldn’t be happy. I didn’t read or listen to any of them. I just called him.

  The phone picked up in record time. “How dare you leave me a message like that and not talk to me before you leave with that maniac! You will never do that again!”

  “How dare you speak to me that way! I am a grown woman who can do as she pleases. I do not need permission from the great and almighty Carl!” I hung up.

  The phone immediately rang again and I answered. “Do not hang up on me again. I deserve more respect than that.”

  “Respect goes both ways. I’m working, Carl. I’m finally working again and instead of being happy for me, you’re jealous and angry because I didn’t talk it over with you. I’m sure if the tables were turned and you had a business trip to go on, you wouldn’t talk it over with me, either.”

  He was silent for a moment. “No, I probably wouldn’t have asked permission, but I sure as hell wouldn’t have left it on your voicemail with the information I was going with an ex who had choked me and had me falsely arrested!”

  “What did you just say?”

  “I know he’s the man who choked you. There’s no need to deny it. I suspected it all along, but you never talk to me about anything for me to take care of it for you.”

  “Because I don’t need to be taken care of, Carl. What did you mean when you said he had me falsely arrested?”

  “You weren’t the only one with a list of where to take photos for me. I think when you scheduled to go to what was once the piano bar, he set it up for the cop to be there and rough you up.” His voice took a softer tone. “I don’t like you there with him alone.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t like it either.”

  “I’ll come, just tell me where you are.”

  “No.”

  “No? How can you say no after what you just said?”

  “I need to do this for me. It’s my battle to fight. Please, just let me handle it.”

  “You’re stubborn.”

  “Never said I wasn’t.”

  He sighed. “At least keep your phone on so I can talk to you. I’m going to worry until you’re home safe with me again.”

  I smiled. I liked the sound of being home safe with Carl. I liked the sound of that a lot. “It’s just one night. It’s a sunrise shoot, so I should be home tomorrow afternoon or evening.”

  Lance nor Carl knew what I had planned for the rest of my trip. Miguel had lived in this city. This was the city where I had shown up drunk and unable to take care of myself. It was where the end of my old life had started, and I was going to see if I could get my life back as I knew it.

  I sat and thought about what Carl had said about wanting me home safe with him. I wanted that, too. The road didn’t appeal to me as much anymore, but I still needed to clear my name. I needed to make sure I could take on Lance and survive the fallout. I just needed to figure out how to get Lance away from me long enough to find Miguel.

  “Are you still there?”

  “Yes. I’ll keep my phone on, but I can’t answer while I’m shooting. You’ll kill the moment.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t want to be a mood killer. Just let me know before you start and when you’re finished and I’ll try to leave you alone.”

  “Okay. I’m going to take a shower and hit the sheets. I have an early wakeup call tomorrow and it’s already going to be difficult to sleep. I’m so excited about this.” I couldn’t contain my smile.

  “All right. I’ll let you go for now. Think of me when you use the showerhead later.”

  I started laughing. “You’re such a romantic.”

  “I try.” I could almost hear his smile. “I miss you, Rach. Come back to me soon.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  The cab ride to the photo shoot was quiet and full of tension. Lance wouldn’t look at me in the lobby. He just walked past and got a cab. I had to scramble to get in the other side since he wouldn’t scoot over. I really shouldn’t have expected anything less than childish behavior.

  I hugged my camera bag the closer we got. The excitement to shoot again was just too much. It frustrated me that I had to hold my excitement in, but I wouldn’t allow him to take it away from me.

  We pulled up and I saw the trailer being loaded with wardrobe. I smiled. I got out of the cab and looked around to get a feel for where we were shooting. I was already envisioning what to do even though I had no idea who we were shooting.

  “Oh, my God! Rachael!” I turned to the sound of the squealing and started jumping up and down. I missed those girls so much. I ran over and gave them all a hug.

  “Where have you been, girl?”

  Melissa, Bianca, and Cammy all started asking a million questions. I turned to a scowling Lance and ushered the girls inside the trailer. “We’re going to burn daylight soon. Let’s get dressed.”

  We walked in the trailer and I almost broke down the second I saw her arranging the outfits, but I held it together. “You didn’t think I’d let you come out here by yourself, did you, doll?” Janelle winked as she handed outfits to each girl. “Hurry up and get dressed. I’m sure Rachael’s itching to snap a few photos.”

  She waited until they were in the back before she came over to me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I stayed in a different room.” I hugged her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “You’re going back with me.” She looked in my eyes. “No arguments.”

  I nodded. “I need to find—”

  “We’re already looking for him, doll. We’ll get this settled. You belong behind the camera again.”

  She started sorting through clothes again. I grabbed my camera and headed outside. There were enough people around I didn’t have to worry about Lance, but I still kept my eye out for him anyway. I took a few shots of the area to see how it looked and what it captured. I started mentally putting each girl in place. It was time to get to work.

  Lance clapped his hands together. “Let’s wrap it up. It’s getting late and Rachael and I have a plane to catch.”

  I ignored his demands and snapped a few photos. I smiled at the ladies when I lowered the camera. “Great, great job today. You made my transition back behind the camera today a breeze. Thank you.”

  I ran up and hugged them all. I would miss it. I knew Lance wouldn’t let me back out after the way things had gone at the hotel and the fact I wasn’t going back with him that night.

  “I’m so glad it was you. I dreaded these shoots with the other photographer. She gave us no direction.”

  “Well, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to come back or not, but just hear me in your heads when you do a shoot and the photographer is . . . lacking in direction. Just ask yourself what I would want from you. You mostly do it without my directing anyway.”

  It was time for another round of hugs when it was time to leave. Lance grabbed my arm and started pulling me to the cab that had just pulled up. I fought to free my arm.

  He gripped me tighter. “Stop. It’s time to go.”

  “I’m not going home with you.”

  He turned and pulled me to him. “What did you say?”

  “She’s coming home with me, Lance. Let her go.”

  He dragged me to the car and opened the door. “Get in!”

  I fought him again. “No!”

  A couple of the equipment guys had come around the cab at Janelle’s request. Lance looked at them and back to me. “I will ruin you.” He pointed to the car. “Get in before it’s too late.”

  I took a step back and shook my head. I knew I was setting in motion everything I didn’t want to happen, but I also knew getting in that cab with Lance was not going to turn out well. I needed to find Miguel.

  He lunged for me, but he was stopped by the guys Janelle had sent over. They threw him in the cab and told the driver to take off. I stood there, watching the cab
drive away. I think I expected it to come back.

  Janelle walked over and put her arm around me. “Come on, doll. We’ve got a manhunt to start.”

  Jimmy had given Janelle the information the company had on Miguel, but none of it worked out. We had seen so many models I used to photograph, asking if any of them had seen Miguel. Most of them said he stopped modeling altogether and they soon lost touch after he started college. Others had said they never worked with him. Every lead was turning to a dead end.

  “Hey, let’s get some coffee and take a break.” Janelle didn’t wait for my answer and entered the coffee shop.

  I grabbed a table while she ordered for us. I wasn’t sure what else to do. We’d been all over the city and even had driven to the college he was rumored to go to, hoping someone would know him. Since it was summer, it wasn’t as busy as it could’ve been. I put my head in my hands.

  I smelled more than coffee when Janelle got back. “You brought me sugar laced carbs?” I looked up. “Thank you.”

  “I figured we could use it.”

  “You should probably get us a few more. I’ll work it off later.”

  Janelle waggled her eyebrows. “I bet. So, tell me about Carl.”

  I smiled. “Things are okay.”

  “I’d say things are more than okay with a smile like that. I knew he’d rock your world.”

  I flattened my hands on the table. “The things that man knows . . .” I shook my head.

  She sat up. “That’s all you’re going to say?”

  I started laughing. “He really does rock my world.”

  “I feel a but coming on and I’m not talking about mine growing from this pastry.”

  “I’m just not sure where it’s going?” I looked at her. “I guess I’m not sure where he wants it to go.”

  “Ask him.”

  I shook my head. “No way.”

  “But you want it to go somewhere.”

  I nodded. “I never thought I would’ve, but I do.”