Every Serengeti Sunrise

by Rula Sinara

  Haki didn’t respond right away, but she could tell his mind was churning. She bit the inside of her lip and waited.

  “I’ve heard about them,” he said. “I skimmed some information once about the organization that’s working to help set them up, but I wasn’t convinced. How effective will these hives be in the long run? And there’s so much training involved. Supplies. Think of how many farms there are and how many hives it would take. There’s probably a waiting list of farmers wanting those groups to help them set up. The process is slow to spread. What happens in the meantime? How many elephants might be killed or injured before then?”

  Maddie’s insides caved in.

  “So we get help. We find a way to support the efforts. Talk to those organizations, and to the villagers. We could even help build fences. We have a saying in America. Fences make good neighbors. Can’t you see that this could be the answer? Isn’t it worth a try?”

  Haki scratched his neck and looked over at her. His eyes settled on hers seconds too long and they both turned their focus back on the screen.

  “You keep saying we.”

  She fiddled with the cuff of her sock and twirled the laces on her sneakers.

  “I meant you. I mean, obviously, I won’t be here. But if you’re willing to follow through or at least look into it, I’ll ask Native Watch Global if they can help. Given my ties to them with the case, maybe they’ll be up for it. They might supply funding, come on board as a sponsor. It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

  “You did get the proposal thrown out, so maybe they’ll grant you a favor.”

  Maddie didn’t respond. She’d wondered when that would come up. He was bitter that her side had won. She closed her laptop and started to unfold her legs. She should never have bothered coming here.

  “Wait.” He put his hand on her wrist and she was afraid he’d feel her scattering pulse. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I wasn’t expecting you to go to all this effort to make things right for both sides. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. If you really think NWG might consider lending a hand, that would help. Either way, I’ll follow through on this idea.”

  She took a breath, relieved that he didn’t seem angry.

  “I’ll ask them, and I don’t think they’ll say no,” she said, placing her hand on top of his. He felt strong and good and wonderful, but she wasn’t going to let this be about her feelings for him. This was about the elephants and farmers—and him and Pippa. This wasn’t about her. It couldn’t be. She wanted him to be happy. To have a future he could look forward to.

  “Haki, just imagine. If you go back to school and build the home on the hill you’ve dreamed of and work more closely with the Masai farmers and herdsmen...the hives could be a huge part of it. Maybe NWG will help you get started because you’d be helping bring balance back to life here.”

  He turned his hand so that their palms touched, then wove his fingers through hers.

  “I want that. I want to go after that life, but you don’t understand.” He lifted her hand to his chest and the movement—or maybe it was static in the air between them—drew them even closer. She could feel his heart racing against her skin. Haki touched his forehead to hers. There was an intensity she couldn’t pull away from. She wanted him like she wanted life to be only good, for evil to go extinct. She needed him like she needed her next breath. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against her hand.

  “I know what we agreed on and that neither of us wants to hurt anyone, but Maddie-girl, I want that life more than anything, and I want it to be with you. I want to share it with you.”

  She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. Her lips touched his, gently at first, careful, desperate...then he cupped her face in his hands and they looked at each other. They were playing with fire, but for Maddie, all sense of self-preservation had already burned to ashes. She wrapped her hands around him and they kissed again, this time taking everything and giving even more.

  “Maddie.” Haki’s voice was a hoarse whisper laced with the bittersweet realization that this had to be goodbye.

  She didn’t want him to stop. She wanted this to be forever. In that moment, there were no casualties, no dangers, no world around them. Nothing else existed.

  “Maddie? Haki? Oh, my God.”

  Maddie jerked away from Haki, almost tipping off the lookout’s edge. Her laptop clattered against the wood as Haki shot to his feet.

  Pippa covered her mouth and started back toward home with shaky steps.

  “Oh, God, no. Pippa, wait!” Maddie pleaded.

  She stumbled down the ladder and caught her footing before falling against the thorny trunk. She ignored the pain and deliberately kept her distance from Haki after he jumped down.

  “Pippa! Hang on. It’s—it’s not what you think,” Haki said.

  This wasn’t happening. Maddie was going to throw up. She never should have returned from Nairobi. She never should have come.

  Pippa swung around. Everything had turned to shades of gray and the trees cast dark shadows across her tear-streaked face. She shook her head and her chest rose and fell as if the rains and floods had finally come and she’d been caught in the undertow, gasping for air...for life.

  “Pip, I’m leaving. I’m going away. I didn’t mean for this to happen. We were excited about something I researched and we got confused and—” She grasped for the right words but didn’t know what to say. She tried to approach her. She needed to hold her and calm her down and fix everything.

  “Get away from me.” Pippa pointed her finger at Maddie. Her eyes reminded Maddie of a lioness who was cornered and dangerous. Maddie held up her hands.

  “Pippa, don’t read into this. Please let me explain. I would never hurt you on purpose.”

  “Really? I never want to see your face again. Go back to America and don’t come back. Ever.”

  Her words pierced Maddie like a million poisoned arrows. If they killed her it would be a blessing.

  “Pip,” Haki said. He turned to Maddie and his face was stricken with regret. He looked at the ground as if he’d lost his way, then straightened his shoulders and tightened his face as he always did when he took control, needing to protect everyone and do what was right. “What you saw was nothing. It has never happened before and it won’t happen again. I’m not leaving your side, okay? We’re supposed to be together. Get married. Have kids. Six, if that’s what you want. Nothing has changed.”

  Pippa shook her head.

  “No. I don’t believe you. You’re a liar. I know what I saw. Oh, my God.” She covered her head with her hands. “I knew this was happening. I thought with her gone, it was over. I’ve been so stupid. I trusted you. Both of you.”

  She turned and fled before Haki could stop her. He braced his hands on his knees and lowered his head a few seconds before starting to pace.

  “I can’t do this, Mads. This never should have happened. I’m sorry. This was my fault. I never should have let myself think that—”

  “Don’t. Just don’t say anything else. You’re right. This was a mistake. It was nothing. It meant nothing.”

  They were back to square one. Neither of them had wanted Pippa hurt; now all three of them were in pain. But Maddie was supposed to be the one destined for heartbreak, wasn’t she? Pippa had been sitting next to her. Pippa had asked the question. Maybe the stones had answered for both of them.

  A sob escaped her and she covered her mouth. She wasn’t sure if her cousin would ever forgive Haki, so they could go on with their lives as planned. The only thing she was sure of was that she’d lost the two most important friends she had in her life. And if there was any chance that Pip and Haki could find a way back to each other, it could only happen if Maddie left and never returned. She owed them both that much.

  She looked at Haki, knowing it would be the last tim
e she’d ever see him. Everything around her—the trees, the path—rippled through her tears like it had all been one big mirage. Fool’s water in an endless desert. She choked back another sob.

  “Make her happy, Haki. Do that for me. I need to know she’ll be okay.”

  The path Pippa had taken had grown even darker, but Maddie ran as fast as she could, stumbling once over a fallen branch and catching herself.

  “Mads!”

  She could hear his footsteps behind her, but she never looked back.

  * * *

  MADDIE TAPPED AT Pippa’s locked room door again but the only answer she got was the muffled sound of sobs. The hopeless cries of a broken soul. Maddie squeezed her eyes and held her breath but nothing could stop the gouging pain of heartbreak, regret and shame. She made a futile effort to dry her cheeks and steady her voice.

  “Pippa, please let me in. Let me explain. I swear I’ll leave Busara and never come back again, but I have to talk to you first. Please.”

  Still no answer. Maddie braced her palms and forehead against the door.

  “Pip. You mean the world to me. I love you. You’re my best friend. I never wanted to hurt you. I swear what you saw was the first and only kiss. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

  Still nothing. Maddie slid down and sat there with her knees tucked in and cheek to the door.

  “It was all my fault, okay? A mistake. Don’t blame Haki. You heard him. He loves you. He’s ready to start a family with you. The two of you were meant to be. I’ll never stop regretting hurting you and I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, but please forgive him. That’s what love’s about, right? You two have a whole future together. I won’t ruin it. I’m leaving for good. I just want you to know how sorry I am and that you’ll never stop being important to me. I’ll miss you. Be happy, Pippa.”

  Maddie waited a moment, listening.

  Silence.

  A punishment she deserved, along with losing her two most cherished friends...and the love of her life.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  MADDIE SPLASHED COLD water on her face, but she still felt like her legs had grown roots and her brain was floating in dense fog. Coffee at four o’clock in the afternoon was not the best idea, but this post-nap grogginess was killing her. Everything was catching up to her and she had simply shut down—head on pillow for a fifteen-minute break and she was gone. Catnaps were supposed to be refreshing, but two hours? That was a lion nap, and she was feeling like she’d been mauled. She rubbed at the kink in her neck, dragged her feet down the stairs and headed straight for the kitchen.

  Someone had already boiled water and left their mug and tea bag waiting on the counter. Maddie scooped coffee into a single serving French press and used some of the water, making sure to leave enough for tea.

  Laughter carried from outside along with an occasional bark. Philip had to be on cloud nine. That pup was the best gift she’d ever given anyone. Free, yet the joy on her brother’s face when he’d picked out his new friend had been priceless. Maybe he’d settled on a name while she was napping.

  Maddie took a desperate sip of coffee as she crossed the tiled floor to the back patio. White sheers flitted and swayed as a breeze came through the French doors, along with her parents’ voices. She split the curtains with her free hand but stopped short of stepping outside when she heard her name. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop. She wasn’t exactly hiding, but their backs were to her as they watched Philip teaching his puppy to play fetch.

  “Our Maddie has always been sensitive. She wants everyone around her to be happy,” Hope said.

  “Philip definitely looks happy right now.”

  “I’m not only referring to him.”

  “I know.” He paused, then deflected. “But I shouldn’t have been so hard-nosed about him getting a dog all these years. You know how it is, though. Kid gets pet. Parents end up caring for pet. Neither of us has time or a predictable schedule and the boys are in school all day. I don’t believe in leaving a dog alone too long.”

  He hadn’t argued when Maddie had insisted it was a gift, but he did have her write up an unofficial but official-sounding contract regarding dog care that he’d made Philip sign.

  “I don’t either, but he’s older now and very responsible. And the house is never empty for long. Besides, with obedience training, he could tag along with you sometimes.”

  Ben gave a subtle shake of his head.

  “Hope, you saw how long it took for Coop to recover after his dog was killed in the line of duty.”

  Something melted inside Maddie. She had first met Cooper, her dad’s friend and fellow marine, back when she was a little girl. He’d been struggling to overcome physical and emotional trauma at the time. Some of the physical ones remained, but he was doing well...living with his wife Brie, not far from Maddie’s grandparents in their Pennsylvania hometown.

  Was that why her dad had resisted getting a dog all these years? He was afraid that if he bonded with it and it died, he’d spiral out of control like Coop had? Maddie had always thought it was because her mama had planned to surprise Ben with a puppy—Wolf—right before she was killed.

  “But he and Brie have always had a dog and they still raise service puppies.”

  Ben cranked his neck.

  “I guess. Okay, I’ll admit Mads did the right thing getting Philip a dog.” He scrubbed his hands over his military short hair. “She always seems to know what’s right.”

  Was she actually hearing this? Tears welled and her nose tingled.

  “She does. The same sense that drove her to win her case. She wasn’t trying to act against you, Ben—you know she loves elephants, too. She wasn’t against anything so much as she was for something.”

  “That girl has a strong sense of morality,” he agreed. “One that I wish more people in this world had. Then maybe I wouldn’t have witnessed some of the atrocities etched in my mind.”

  Hope rubbed her hand between Ben’s shoulders and, in that moment, seemed to sense Maddie’s presence. She glanced back and Maddie creased her forehead in apology. She knew she shouldn’t have been listening to their private conversation, but Hope just smiled softly.

  “I’m going to go fix my tea. You sure you don’t want some?” she asked Ben, as she rose.

  “Nah, I’m good. Thanks. For everything.” He held on to her hand and tugged her in for a kiss before letting her go.

  Hope slipped past Maddie, pausing only to give her shoulder a squeeze.

  Ben still had his gaze on Philip, as he rolled a tennis ball across the grass and his pup bounded after it.

  Maddie took a long sip of coffee before walking over and sitting down next to him. His back straightened slightly the second he registered that she wasn’t Hope returning with her drink.

  “Hey. Feeling rested?” he asked.

  Maddie twisted her lips and shrugged.

  “Where’s Ryan?” she asked.

  “Babysitting again.”

  Interesting.

  “Did Philip decide on a name yet?” She really didn’t want to be the topic of conversation.

  “Roosevelt.”

  Maddie smiled and took a sip of coffee. That Philip really was a history buff.

  “Good old FDR, huh?”

  “The one and only,” Ben said. “Do you remember Wolf? He kind of reminds me of him with that coat color.”

  “You’re right. He does. I’m guessing he might have some lab or golden retriever in the mix.”

  Ben tapped a red, rubber bone against his palm. Had he actually succumbed to puppy charm and played fetch while she was upstairs? He knocked his knee gently against hers.

  “Philip said he picked the name because Roosevelt was a good man, well-loved, and mostly, because he gave people hope and helped them
get through rough times like the Great Depression and World War II. He cared about people...like you do.”

  The fluttering in her chest had nothing to do with the caffeine. Had her brother really made that observation? Or was her dad only referring to the fact that she’d defended the Masai in the case because her mom had just made that point? Could it truly be Ben’s opinion of her?

  “He’s a good kid, Dad. I think he worries too much about what others think of him, though.” Especially you.

  “He’s a great kid. I’m proud of him. Of all of you.”

  Maddie ran her thumb over the abstract design on her mug.

  “I’ll be honest with you, Dad. I think you’re just saying that because it’s the right thing to say. I’ve never felt it. I’m not sure any of us does, except maybe Chad. I realize that I disappointed you by taking on a case that opposed—well, you and Haki and the whole family, but I have to follow my own path. I’m not you. All I’ve ever wanted was to please you and get your approval. I mean, that’s all any child wants from their parents, isn’t it? To not disappoint? All I do is disappoint you. Dad, I give up on trying to figure out what it’ll take to get you to be proud of anything I accomplish, short of joining the marines.”

  “What?” He shifted, facing her head on. “Mads, of course I’m proud of you. How could you not know that?”

  Did he want her to list the evidence? The lawyer in her itched to let him have it, but it wouldn’t get them anywhere. It would start another battle. Patience. Hear him out.

  “I don’t know that, actually. I’m not sure Philip does, either.”

  “You think I care about the career you’ve chosen? That any of you has chosen?” He took a deep breath and tossed the bone out into the yard. “Mads, you could change your career a million times over and I’d still be proud, so long as you were giving it your all. That’s all I ever expect of my kids. Of anyone, for that matter. If you’re going to do something, pull out all the stops and do it well. And in my opinion you’ve always excelled at anything you put your mind to. I’m proud of you for that. Not just proud, but amazed by the kind, caring, focused, unselfish and nurturing person you are in the process. I’m proud that you stick to your guns and stand up for what you believe. I know I can be opinionated, but I would never challenge you if I didn’t know how strong you are or think you could handle it. Mads, for the record, I’m the luckiest man alive for having you as a daughter. I know your mom feels the same way because she says it all the time.”