No Going Back (Club Aegis Book 6)

by Christie Adams

  Though his emotions were all over the place, Guy still recognised how much Maddie had accomplished for both herself and the young woman who’d needed her help. “You did a good job.”

  “Up to now, maybe. I’m afraid for her, though. They threatened her because her father was becoming more prominent and influential. He’s the Police Commissioner now, and while he remains in post, the threat’s greater than ever, if they do ever find out how to get to her.”

  “He never thought of resigning?”

  “Would you? Mikhail isn’t the type to back down from his responsibilities. He won’t betray his principles.” Maddie’s smile was almost wistful. “He’s a lot like you.”

  “I wish I could thank him for taking care of you.” If the words coming out of his mouth shocked him, the sincerity behind them was just as big a surprise.

  Maddie was equally stunned, but swiftly regained some composure. “So where do we go from here?”

  Guy took her hand in his, twining their fingers together. “I ask you if you can forgive me for not being the man you needed me to be. For being a monumentally self-obsessed prick back then.”

  Love and forgiveness were in the gift of her kiss. “As if you needed to ask. I love you. I never stopped loving you. It seems to me, we both made mistakes. Back then, we didn’t communicate the way we should have, and I don’t want us to repeat that mistake now. But if you need to ask forgiveness, then so do I.”

  He shook his head. “Doesn’t work like that. It’s my job to take care of you, and I didn’t. I failed you and our baby. Can you find it in your heart to give me another chance?”

  Maddie laid her hand over his heart and looked into his eyes, before touching her lips to his. “Always.”

  “How can I make this right?”

  “You don’t have to.”

  He shook his head. “I do.”

  She sighed. “All right. If you really have to do something—you said you wished you could thank Mikhail. There is something you can do to thank him, and as far as I’m concerned, that’ll make it right.”

  “Anything.”

  “Help me look out for Yana. I can’t be certain, but… my gut’s telling me the vehicles I’ve seen in the village, the ones that don’t belong, are connected with me. I did what I could to protect Yana when I created her new identity. You know as well as I do, we can always find a way to circumvent the rules. When it came to me, though, I had to go through channels.”

  “Those records are supposed to be watertight.”

  “Supposed to be. The fact that they’re here must mean they have my location. And if they have one fragment of my new identity, I could be living on borrowed time. If they get to me, they’ll use me to get to her.” Maddie closed her eyes. “I can’t let that happen.”

  Neither could Guy. “It won’t. I love you, Madeleine. To get to you, they’ll have to go through me first, and no one goes through me. No one.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Over the next couple of weeks, Guy became a fixture in Maddie’s life. On the few occasions he wasn’t around, she was aware of other watchful eyes upon her—friendly, protective eyes that belonged to members of Spectrum Security’s growing ranks.

  The sense of being surrounded by the kind of people she’d once called comrades brought back other feelings, too. After turning her back on that world of shadow and subterfuge, she’d never expected to feel this way again. In spite of time and her best efforts to convince herself otherwise, the rush of adrenaline that came with the job she’d once excelled at was every bit as addictive as it had ever been.

  With each day that passed, it became more and more difficult to convince herself that her future lay in event management. There was only so much glitter and sparkle a grown woman could take. A fortuitous conversation with Guy’s niece drove the last nail into the coffin of the life she’d once been convinced was the answer to her prayers.

  “You know this means you’re part of the family now?”

  At the sound of Ros’ voice, Maddie stopped sifting through the pile of advertising materials. The caterer’s brochure could wait. “Excuse me?”

  “You and Guy. You being his plus one for the wedding.”

  Thank God the bride-to-be was smiling about it. “Is that okay with you?”

  Ros almost rolled her eyes. “Maddie, please. Ever since you started helping me out with this, I’ve been trying to work out a way to ask you to the wedding as our guest. I was thrilled when Guy told me he was seeing you. He’s been very cagey about his love life for years, so I had an idea you might be special to him. Seeing you at Aegis with him proved that, but it’s not just that—you’re good for him.”

  “It’s mutual.” The admission made Maddie feel good, but she did wonder what Ros might think if she knew the whole truth, about Maddie’s past relationship with her uncle. At least Ros was aware of the kind of relationship she had with Guy, as Maddie was aware that Simon was Ros’ submissive. She didn’t have to worry about the possibility of letting something slip. And she had to admit, there was something very comforting about knowing Guy’s nearest and dearest were in the lifestyle, too. Sometimes, it was difficult to remember she wasn’t a part of this family, a job that Ros hadn’t made any easier with what she’d just said.

  There was, however, another vibe she was picking up from Ros, one unconnected with the subject of the wedding. Maddie put all thoughts of the celebration out of her mind, and turned all her attention to the young woman seated opposite her. “Would you like to tell me what else is on your mind today?”

  Ros’ gaze was direct, as were her next words. “I’ve always been fairly good at putting two and two together. Both of you have let slip certain things, and for two people who’ve supposedly only recently met, you’re moving pretty fast.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Whether I’m right or not. I think you and Guy knew each other long before the day we walked into your office at the hotel. If I am right—and I’m pretty sure I am—I’d be willing to bet you worked for the intelligence services, especially since he happened to mention you’re fluent in Russian. You’re one of us.”

  Maddie took a deep breath. It was only a matter of time before the truth came out. “I used to be.”

  “Are you happy doing this?” Ros waved a hand over the mass of wedding-related paraphernalia in front of her. With the big day mere weeks away, they were ironing out last-minute details.

  Maddie’s mouth curved into a half-smile. “I used to be.”

  Ros rested her forearms on the desk and leaned forward. “Does that mean we could tempt you into leaving all this behind to join Spectrum? We could use your expertise.”

  “I’ve been out of the game for a long time. That expertise is well out of date. And I’m older. What you do… It’s a young person’s game.”

  Ros snorted. “Age is just numbers, but if you’re trying to play that card, you’re not that much older than me. With a little effort, your expertise could be updated. Spectrum is like a family, and with the direction we’re going in, I know there’s a place in it for you.”

  Family. There it was again, the word that was fast becoming her Achilles heel. A remembered sense of belonging overwhelmed Maddie, and wafted the scent of temptation under her nose. So much for her determination to leave the spy business behind.

  “Only if you count a decade as ‘not much’. I don’t know—it’s a huge decision.” For her own peace of mind, she had to offer an initial resistance to the idea.

  “I know. All I’m asking you to do is think about it—don’t dismiss it out of hand.”

  “All right, but I can’t make any promises, and I can’t give you a decision until a certain situation is resolved. Depending on what happens, I may have to leave this area anyway.”

  The news was clearly a shock to Ros. “What? But why?”

  “Because it’s dangerous, and I can’t bring that mess to his door or yours.”

  An aura of fierce determination about
her, Ros shook her head. “Don’t you dare! It won’t come to that—whatever the problem is, we won’t let it. Tell me everything, then we can work out what to do.”

  That confidence was what Maddie remembered much later when she was curled up in her bed, waiting for Guy to return from his latest clutch of meetings in London. Her mind was still going around in circles when he finally arrived.

  “It’s all right, you don’t have to be quiet—I’m awake.” Maddie reached for the bedside lamp, squinting in the direction of the door, where Guy now stood wearing a serious frown.

  “At this hour? It’s bloody late, Maddie mine. Don’t you have to be up early tomorrow?”

  “That’s the idea.” A high-profile society wedding demanded her presence at the hotel from 6 a.m.

  “So what’s keeping you awake?”

  Maddie sat up and hugged her knees. “I was with Ros this afternoon. I ended up giving her the edited highlights about our past and the Bratva. I tried not to, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  “That’s Ros for you.” Guy paused in the middle of removing his shirt. An approving smile softened his patrician features. “I’m glad you talked. You’re not the only one who’s had enough of secrets.”

  Pain squeezed her heart. “I didn’t tell her about Natalya.”

  “It’s all right. There are some things best kept between us.”

  Maddie relaxed. “There’s one more thing—Ros offered me a job. She didn’t go into specifics, but she said there’s a place for me at Spectrum.”

  Guy sat beside her on the bed, leaned over, and kissed her. “There is—if you want it.”

  “Because I’m your girlfriend?”

  The arched eyebrow spelled trouble, most likely for her butt. He cupped her cheek in his palm. “First of all, ‘girlfriend’ doesn’t come anywhere near to describing what you are to me, but we’ll deal with that later. There’s a place for you with Spectrum, because I remember a highly skilled intelligence analyst who specialised in the Eastern Bloc, Russia in particular. You know the company’s remit is changing. We need your expertise.”

  “Even though it’s out of date?”

  “That’s your best argument?”

  He and Ros clearly shared the same script. “That’s about it, yeah.”

  He shook his head. “Weak, Ms. Scott. Very weak. You’re not going to convince me that way.”

  “Huh. Ros wasn’t convinced, either.”

  But did she want to convince them? That was the question. She was proud of what she’d accomplished during her time as the hotel’s events manager. And yet, as she looked around her bedroom, Maddie realised she had precious little to show for the last few years. Being around Guy and Ros—and the other members of Spectrum—had set her pulse beating with addictive excitement.

  “I’d probably have to convince myself fully first. I walked—no, I ran away from intelligence work when I came back from Russia. Once Yana had her new life and my new identity was created, that was it—the end. All cut and dried. Except now, it’s not.”

  “Oh? Does that mean what I think it means?”

  “If you think it means I’m interested, then the answer’s yes, I’m interested, even though part of me doesn’t want to be. And I need to make sure Yana’s safe first.”

  “Couldn’t you convince yourself and make sure Yana’s safe at the same time?”

  That was the question she’d been avoiding. She still wasn’t ready to answer, so she took the easy way out. “Have you made any progress with those vehicle sightings?”

  Guy gave her a long, soul-piercing look. “Okay, you can change the subject for now.” He shook his head. “Still working on it. The number plates were false, and no one’s spotted them for the last couple of days. They’ve either gone to ground or left the area. We’ll get to the bottom of it—but not right now. I’m going to take a shower, and when I get back, I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep.

  “But rest assured, Maddie mine, you won’t avoid that question forever.”

  >>><<<

  Around twenty-four hours later, with another couple happily married and their reception finally winding down, Maddie headed back to her quarters, so exhausted that every step seemed to require a Herculean effort.

  Although the day had passed without a hitch, the lead-up to it hadn’t. To support both her team and the wider hotel staff, she’d made herself available all day, in case there were any unforeseen issues. Excellent preparation had saved the day.

  As she made her way through the hotel, in the quiet of the small hours, she wished Guy were waiting for her. Before she’d left him that morning, he’d told her he’d have a surprise for her the next time she saw him, but given her no clue as to when that might be. Knowing the man as she did, the best way to prepare for that surprise was probably a good night’s sleep. Although after the day she’d just survived, a few relaxing, unexciting hours in his company was top of her wish list.

  Ready to fall straight into bed, Maddie kicked off her shoes as soon as she reached the sanctuary of her rooms. She didn’t even bother to switch on the light. She’d have loved to soak in a hot bath, but waiting for it to fill was a poor alternative to collapsing into bed.

  As she went to unfasten the second button on her no-longer-pristine white blouse, a noise came from the direction of the bathroom. In that instant, her senses went on high alert and her old instincts kicked in with a vengeance. Acting on those instincts, one hand sought the firearm she hadn’t carried in years. Before she could make a grab for any kind of substitute weapon, the door that led to her bathroom opened. Light spilled out, and in the rectangle formed by the doorway, there appeared the silhouette of a male intruder.

  Maddie’s system flooded with adrenaline. She wasn’t going down without a fight.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “Guy! You frightened the living daylights out of me! What are you doing here?” Maddie almost sank to her knees in relief.

  He switched the main light on and strode over to her. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you all right?”

  “Startle me? You scared me half to death. I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

  “Making good on my promise.”

  “What… You mean the surprise? At this time of night?” The man was clearly several sandwiches short of a picnic.

  “End of a long, busy day, I figured you could do with a little pampering. Come with me, pet.”

  Before she could protest, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. She gasped. The bath was already full of bubbles, steam rising gently and bringing with it a subtle floral scent. To enhance the romantic atmosphere, a dozen large candles, flames flickering gently, were dotted around.

  Guy let her stand, but still held her close. “Let me get the light, then we’ll start.”

  With the light switched off, the atmosphere of intimacy changed the mood between them to one of Master and submissive. Without conscious thought, Maddie assumed her standing presentation position—eyes lowered, hands clasped at the base of her spine, feet shoulder-width apart.

  “Hard work should always be rewarded. I know you’re tired, but you need to unwind before you go to bed. Let me take care of you.”

  “Thank you, Sire. What do you need me to do?”

  “Absolutely nothing. Take it easy, and let me do my thing.”

  And he’d always been so good at his thing. Maddie stood while her clothes melted away beneath his touch, and when she was naked, he picked her up again and lowered her into the bath. The water was delicious, and exactly the right temperature to comfort her aching body. Regular yoga sessions still warded off the worst parts of getting old, but they met their match on a day like today.

  Her soft moan of pure pleasure acted as a release valve for the tension that had accumulated during the day. Eyes closed, she gave a second moan when Guy took the sponge and squeezed water over her shoulders and chest. As her discomfort was soothed away, she opened her eyes again, and dr
ank in the dearest sight she could ever imagine.

  “Your sleeves are wet.” Even though he’d rolled them up, they’d still been soaked when he’d set her down in the water.

  “Doesn’t matter. It’s only a shirt. World’s not going to end if I have to wear a wet shirt for a few minutes.”

  Even though she was stone-cold sober, Maddie gave a slightly tipsy giggle. “Now there’s a thought—you in a wet t-shirt.”

  “Not happening. Besides, I’d rather see you in one.”

  She was about to make a disparaging observation about not having a great body when she caught Guy’s expression and the warning in it. Instead she smiled and laid her palm on his forearm as he worked, enjoying the way his muscles flexed. She loved his body. She loved him. “Maybe I’ll surprise you one day.”

  Exhaustion seeped from her limbs into every cell in her body. She fought to keep her eyes open, only to fail as Guy made some comment about bed. He helped her out of the tub, dried her with a thick, warm, cloud-soft towel, and then carried her to the bedroom.

  “I haven’t been tucked into bed since I was a child,” she murmured, as Guy draped the duvet over her. “Are you staying tonight?”

  “I wasn’t going to. You need to get some sleep.” He touched his lips to her cheek.

  “I always sleep better with you here.”

  “Me, too, pet,” he replied, stroking the spot he’d just kissed with his thumb. “I think we need to have a talk soon about making the arrangement permanent.”

  Now she knew she was asleep. Or delirious. It almost sounded as if Guy was asking her to move in with him. That would be a dream-come-true, and her dreams never came true. Besides, Maddie was happy enough with what they had. Asking for more would be greedy. She snuggled under the duvet. “That would be nice.”