Me, Myself and Him

by E. N. Joy

  As Hannah sat at the computer in her home office, her cell phone rang.

  “Hannah speaking,” she answered.

  “Hannah, honey, this is Reggie,” he said.

  “Hello, you. What’s going on?”

  “I just wanted to thank you so much, sugar plum, for meeting with Mr. Trinity the other day for me. You’re a lifesaver, dear.”

  “Don’t mention it. It was a pleasure, honestly.”

  Reggie and Hannah weren’t business partners on paper; they just told people that when they had to cover for one another. Although they worked in the same field of marketing and advertising, they weren’t competitive at all. They knew there were enough clients to go around.

  “I’m soooo glad to hear you say that, gumdrop, because I need you to perhaps join us, if you could, next week, when I meet with him to finalize everything and sign the contract and whatnot. Something tells me that tight little tush of yours is what got him to knock off another twenty-five percent. So with that said, I need that tush at this meeting for reassurance that he doesn’t change his mind.”

  “Reggie, you are so crazy.” Hannah laughed. “Although I’m sure my tight little tush had nothing to do with it, sure I’ll meet with you guys next week. But I think you’re all wrong about this Mr. Trinity. He was very well mannered and wholesome. Matter of fact, he even invited Elkan and I to come visit his church.”

  “Don’t be fooled, sweet bread. Even a man of God has eyes, and you, pumpkin, are very easy on the eyes. Why, if you were my type, Elkan would have blacked my eye by now for not being able to keep my hands off of you.”

  “Thanks for the compliment, Reggie . . . I think. Anyway, just email me and let me know when and where, and I’m there.”

  “Thank you, buttercup. Tah-tah.”

  Hannah hung up the phone and shook her head before saying to herself, “Why do I always feel like my ears are going to grow cavities after talking with Reggie? Honey this, sweetie that, buttercup this . . .”

  Before Hannah could turn her attention back to her computer, her home phone rang.

  “Geez. I’m not going to get any work done today,” Hannah growled. “Just because I work from home doesn’t mean I can just be on the phone chatting it up all day.”

  Hannah picked up the cordless phone from its cradle and looked at the caller ID. What does she want? she thought before turning on the phone and saying, “Hello.”

  “May I speak to the father of my son, please?” the woman on the other end of the phone asked.

  “Peni, you know he’s at work,” Hannah told her, sighing.

  “Oh, yeah, that’s right. Gotta work hard for the money when there’s child support to pay. Anyway, you can just give him the message for me. I don’t feel like dialing another number.”

  “Sure, Peni. What is it?” Hannah hated when Peni called the house, because she knew it was just to taunt her. She had Elkan’s cell phone number and could have just as easily called him and left a message on his voicemail.

  “Can you let him know that our son has a little league game next Saturday and afterwards they are taking family pictures? Tell him that Little E’s uniform is red and blue. I’m going to be wearing red and white, so he should coordinate with us.”

  Hannah wanted so badly to say, “Why does my husband have to coordinate with you? As a matter of fact, why does he even have to take a picture with you? You can take one with Little E and then he and Little E can take one together.” But Hannah didn’t bother. She knew Elkan would get upset with her for two reasons: one, Peni would use Hannah getting smart with her as an excuse not to let Little E come over on his next planned visit, and two, Elkan agreed with Peni that they should appear to get along for Little E’s sake.

  “I will let him know, Peni. By the way, how is Little E?”

  “He’s good,” Hannah replied, slurping her lips, “just like his daddy. But you’d know better than me. I only had him once. You have him all the time. Isn’t that right, Hannah?” Peni teased, trying to put doubt in Hannah’s mind, but Hannah refused to let Peni take her there.

  “Look, Peni, that’s my other line. I’ll be sure to give Elkan the message.” Hannah quickly ended the call because she didn’t want Peni to be able to squeeze in one more insulting or insinuating word. Plus, she didn’t want her to hear the cry that followed just as quickly as she hung up the phone.

  Why did Elkan have to cheat on Hannah? Why? And then have a baby with the other woman as a result—as if the affair alone wasn’t bad enough. And now Hannah was forced to have a relationship with the baby mama for the sake of her relationship with her husband and for the sake of the child. This just seemed far too much for her to bear, especially when it seemed as though having a child of her own wasn’t something that was going to happen. Why would God? How could He? How could He give another woman the honor of bearing her husband’s child and dry out her womb?

  Tears of anger and resentment—for thinking she was strong enough to handle this situation—strolled down Hannah’s cheeks as she shut down her computer and decided to call it quits for the day. She retreated to her bed, where she cried herself to sleep.

  But I will give you no more than you can bear. Just hold on, God spoke.

  Chapter 13

  “Why don’t you join my aerobics class?” Mary asked as she and Locksie sat at her kitchen table. Mary reached over and pinched an inch of Locksie’s waistline.

  “So, what you trying to say, Auntie?” Locksie said, playfully shooing Mary’s hand away. “That I’m a big, fat pig?”

  Mary giggled. “It ain’t like that. You the one complaining how Miss Jane Pitman was at the gym and able to keep up with your man working out more than you could.”

  “Forget you, Aunt Mary,” Locksie said, pushing the half-empty cup of coffee away like she didn’t want anything Mary had to offer her.

  “I mean, you ain’t fat or nothing, but girl, if you just toned up that flesh of yours, you’d be a brick house.” Aunt Mary clapped her hands, poked out her lips and did a little dip with her hips as she stood up to go get a refill on her coffee.

  “Aunt Mary, you are too much.” Locksie smiled and pulled her cup back to her and took a sip.

  Mary refilled her coffee cup and sat back down. “Child, I’m pulling a double today at work.”

  “Then you might need to drink something a little stronger than coffee,” Locksie suggested.

  “Oh, I got something stronger all right. And his name is Jesus.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Besides, could you imagine me drinking something stronger than coffee? Humph. Those folks at Baptist Saints Tabernacle would fit to be tied; probably vote me off the hospitality committee and all.”

  Locksie laughed as she took a sip of her own coffee.

  “You laugh, but I’m serious. With me being a Christian, people put every little thing I do under a microscope. It’s irritating, but at the same time, it reminds me of who I am and whose I am, because you never know who you are witnessing to.”

  “Well, wouldn’t nobody know but me and you,” Locksie playfully pressed.

  “And Him,” Mary added, looking up at the ceiling. On that note, Mary downed more of her coffee.

  Locksie continued to tease. “Sure you don’t want a little somethin’ somethin’ to mix in with that coffee?”

  “Now, Locksie, you better quit playing with me. Besides, I get drunk off the Word of God. Speaking of which . . .”

  Mary looked up at her crystal cross-shaped clock hanging on her kitchen wall. Her mother, Locksie’s grandmother, had given it to her before she passed away of natural causes. It read 8:20 A.M. She had to be at the recreation center to teach her first aerobics class at 9:00 A.M. and Locksie had to be at work at the hair salon at 9:00 A.M. as well. Mary always made sure to read a passage from the Bible before starting her day, and sometimes say a little prayer before she and Locksie parted ways.

  Mary reached out her hands for Locksie to hold. The two women closed their eyes and bowed their hea
ds as Mary led the prayer.

  “Dear, Lord, in the name of Jesus, I just thank You for today. I even thank You for yesterday, Lord, as I look back to where You brought me from,” Aunt Mary prayed. “Thank You, Jesus,” she said under her breath as if all He had done for her had just flashed before her eyes and she couldn’t do anything but thank Him. “As I stand here holding my niece’s hand, Lord, I ask that You work on her to the point where she comes to You willingly, unlike me, Lord, and that You not have to bring her to You on her knees.”

  One of Locksie’s eyes quickly opened. On my knees? Watch it, Aunt Mary. Don’t make me start avoiding you like the plague like I do my own mother.

  Mary ended the prayer with, “So, Father, just watch over us and protect us with the blood of the lamb. In the name of Your Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen”

  Releasing Locksie’s hand, Mary grabbed her gym bag while Locksie opened the front door.

  “I’ll call you tonight, Aunt Mary,” Locksie said as she headed toward her car while Mary locked the front door.

  “I got Bible study at the church tonight. Speaking of which, when you gonna come visit my church anyway? You been promising to come visit and ain’t made good on your sorry word yet.”

  Locksie chuckled at her aunt’s frankness as she made her way down the walkway. “I know, Aunt Mary, I know. I will. I just need to get myself together first is all.”

  “And how do you think you gon’ do that without Jesus?” Mary asked as she walked up to her car and rested her hands on her hips.

  “Aunt Mary, you said it yourself. I’m living in sin and stuff. What would I look like going to church in the condition I’m in?” Locksie raised her arms and let them drop down to her side in defeat. “I need to get right first. You know, get my mind right. I can’t see me praying and reading the Bible and stuff. Right now, let you and every other Christian tell it, I’m just this great big ball of sin. Lightning would probably strike down y’all’s poor little church building the minute I stepped in the door.”

  Aunt Mary shook her head and laughed. “Child, you crazy.”

  “But keep praying for me and hopefully I’ll get right so that I can not just visit church, but maybe attend regularly—since God does perform miracles, right? ’Cause you know that’s what it’s going to take.”

  Mary’s laughter had faded. “But you can’t get right without Him.” She stared into her niece’s eyes and then searched her own brain for an appropriate scripture from the Bible that would back up what she was trying to tell Locksie. “The Pharisees asked Jesus’ disciples, in the book of Matthew, why He broke bread with sinners. When Jesus heard that, He told them, ‘They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.’” Locksie put her head down and took in her aunt’s words. “The church is a place for spiritual healing, honey. Don’t you get it? You got to come to church to get right and stay right.” There was a few seconds of still silence. “Have a good day at work, okay?” Without waiting for her niece to reply, Mary got into her car.

  Locksie got into her car and pulled off, thinking about her aunt’s words. For years Locksie hadn’t wanted to hear anything about going to church because she felt that church was the last place someone like her was supposed to be. She fornicated with Dawson. She lied on occasion when she felt Dawson was prodding her. She usually did it not to hide anything from him, but to make a long story short. Sometimes, when she and Dawson were out partying, she drank to the point of inebriation. And whenever she and Dawson got into arguments, she cursed like a sailor. She asked herself what church in the world would want someone like her fellowshipping with them.

  Just then it hit Locksie—Dawson played a part in all of her sinning. In order to give up sinning, did that mean that she would have to give up Dawson, since he was the common denominator for everything she was doing that might be displeasing to God? If that was the case, Aunt Mary shouldn’t hold her breath waiting for Locksie to walk through those church doors, let alone give her life to Christ. There were just some things in life she wasn’t willing to give up—not even for Christ. Dawson was one of them.

  Chapter 14

  “I need a big favor,” Locksie said to Hannah while she shampooed her hair.

  “Just how huge?” Hannah asked, opening her eyes as she enjoyed Locksie’s fingertips massaging her scalp.

  “I need you to be a make-up model for my Mary Kay presentation.”

  “Girl, you know I don’t wear make-up. Now I done already let you talk me into buying all those skincare treatment products from you.”

  “Which work beautifully on you, might I add. Not to mention that it’s the reason you have the beautiful skin that you have, allowing you the gift of not having to wear make-up.”

  “I know, I know,” Hannah agreed. “Which is why I don’t want to be a make-up model.”

  “Come on, Hannah. I’m not asking you to wear it on a regular basis. Just for an hour. Come on, I need you. I’d do it for you.”

  “All right, already. Stop your begging,” Hannah said, closing her eyes again. “What day?”

  “Friday at six-thirty P.M.,” Locksie said as she began to rinse the shampoo out of Hannah’s hair.

  “Oh, no good. Can’t do it. I have an appointment that day.”

  “You’re just saying that to get out of it,” Locksie said, not believing her friend.

  “No seriously, I have a meeting with . . .” Hannah paused for a moment, almost spilling the beans. Reggie had confirmed their meeting with Mr. Trinity for that same Friday at 5:30 in the evening. Hannah planned on discussing with Mr. Trinity about perhaps doing some graphics work for some of her clients. And again, she didn’t want to hurt Locksie’s feelings by not using her boyfriend’s brother. “Reggie. I have to meet with Reggie on Friday.”

  “Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. If you say so.” Locksie massaged conditioner in Hannah’s hair.

  “Girl, now you know I wouldn’t play you like that. If I could make it, I would.”

  “You know I’m just playing with you, girl. It’s cool. But I would have given you fifty dollars worth of free products,” Locksie said in a sing-song voice in an attempt to get Locksie to change her mind.

  “Heck, I’ll do it,” Jem, one of the salon stylists, who was at the shampoo bowl next to Locksie, chimed in.

  “Will you really?” Locksie said gratefully.

  “For fifty dollars worth of free stuff? Sure, I’m game.”

  “Thank you.” Locksie smiled at Jem and then bent down and stuck her tongue out at Hannah before rinsing the conditioner from her hair.

  Drake arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes earlier than he had told his client to meet him. Wearing a deep navy Armani suit, he went into the bathroom after being seated at his table to double-check his appearance. This was his first time wearing the suit, and he hadn’t had time to get it tailored to a perfect fit.

  He wished he had just kept on what he had been wearing earlier as he straightened out the silver tie that lay atop the almost purplish-blue shirt underneath. He was thinking of the nice little business-casual Ralph Lauren hook-up he had been clad in prior to Reggie calling him to confirm their appointment and informing him that his partner, Hannah, would be joining them as well.

  “What am I doing?” Drake asked himself, dropping his hands to his side, tired of fiddling around with his tie that wouldn’t seem to lay right. “She’s married.” He looked up. “God, in Genesis 2:18, Your Word says that it was not good that man should be alone. It was You, God, who said that a man needs a wife. But Lord, I know if You were going to send me a wife, it wouldn’t be that of another man’s. So . . .”

  Just then, he heard the flush of a toilet, and the stall door behind him opened. A tall, slender gentleman exited the stall and walked over to the sink next to Drake and proceeded to wash his hands.

  Between them lingered the most awkward silence in the world. Drake didn’t want this stranger to think that he was a crazy lunatic who hung out in hotel bathrooms t
alking to himself, so he finally decided to break the silence and clear his name by informing the man, “Oh, I was uh, just talking to God.”

  With a peculiar look on his face, the man nodded and smiled. He dried his hands and exited the bathroom, looking over his shoulder to make sure the crazy guy who thought God was in the bathroom didn’t try anything funny.

  Meanwhile, Hannah had arrived at the restaurant and was about to ask the host if two gentlemen were waiting on a third party until she saw a familiar face heading out of the men’s bathroom. “Oh, never mind. I see one of them now,” she told the waitress as she approached one of her dinner guests. “Reggie, is everything okay?” Hannah couldn’t help but notice the strange look he had on his face as he walked toward her.

  “Child, there’s a crazy man in the bathroom talking to God,” Reggie informed her, looking back over his shoulder again.

  “Huh?” Hannah looked puzzled.

  “Never mind, cinnamon stick. Let’s just get a table and wait for our Mr. Trinity to arrive,” Reggie said as he grabbed Hannah by the elbow and escorted her back to the restaurant entrance. There were a couple of people being helped in front of them, so they just stood patiently waiting their turn until Drake appeared from the men’s bathroom.

  “There he is,” both Reggie and Hannah said in unison.

  “There’s the crazy holy roller,” Reggie proclaimed at the same time Hannah said, “There’s Mr. Trinity.” They both looked at each other in shock.

  “He’s the crazy man?” Hannah asked, confused.

  “He’s the brilliant Mr. Trinity?” Reggie asked, equally confused.

  “Look, forget it. We’ll talk about it later,” Hannah whispered as she watched Drake walk over to the same table they had occupied the week before. “Come on. Let’s go.”

  Hannah headed toward the table where Drake was sitting as Reggie walked behind her with his head down.

  “Mr. Trinity,” Hannah said, extending her hand.

  “Please, it’s Drake.” Drake stood and smiled as he gently shook Hannah’s hand.