Me, Myself and Him

by E. N. Joy

  “Drake, this is my partner, Reggie Vineyard, who you have already spoken with over the phone,” Hannah introduced.

  Drake extended his hand to finally meet the gentleman whom he had only spoken with on the phone as Hannah stepped aside, revealing Reggie’s face to Drake.

  “Mr. Trinity, it’s a pleasure,” Reggie said, head still down so that he was looking at Drake’s shoes more than his face.

  At that moment, Drake wished that for the life of him he knew how to do that Bewitched thing and twitch his nose and disappear out of the room, leaving only a puff of smoke behind. Somehow he managed to keep his cool after discovering that Reggie was the stranger in the bathroom who had overheard his conversation with God.

  “Reggie,”—Drake cleared his throat—“we finally meet face-to-face.” The two men shook hands and that same awkward silence that had stood between them in the bathroom returned.

  Hannah cleared her throat. “Why don’t we have a seat and order first and then get down to business?”

  With that, they sat and proceeded to order their dinners and go over the contract. Drake felt terribly embarrassed inside, but did a wonderful job of acting like his normal, professional self. After all, he couldn’t be too embarrassed about the prayer; it had seemed to work as his only focus was the business at hand. And since Drake knew that prayer worked, he said another prayer silently that God would remove any awkwardness and allow them to handle business professionally and without prejudice.

  By the time dinner was over and the contract was signed, Reggie had forgotten all about his first impression of Drake. He even gave a verbal commitment that he would be using him for more clients if Drake’s work was good.

  “Speaking of which . . .” Hannah said. “If you don’t mind, Drake, I’d like to discuss some potential projects with you for a couple clients of mine.”

  Drake looked down at his watch. “Sure. I have time if you do.”

  Reggie looked down at his. “Um, it’s almost eight. I’m going to have to leave you two sweet tarts alone. I promised my wife I’d make it to her parents’ house for family night no later than eight. So I must run.”

  “Wife?” Drake said in an almost shocked tone. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

  Reggie looked back and forth from Drake to Hannah. “Yeah, wife. Why? Is something wrong?”

  “Uh, no,” Drake was quick to say. “I uh, guess I just didn’t notice the ring is all.” He was glad he came up with that one.

  “Yep, married five years and loving it,” Reggie replied as he stood and reached down into his pockets for his wallet.

  “Oh, no, please allow me,” Drake insisted. He always paid the tab for his clients, considering their business eventually paid his mortgage. But he also felt guilty for assuming that Reggie, because of his slender build and the way he spoke, using all those cutesy, sweet words, was gay. He was just a male with a genuinely warm spirit that Drake had pegged all wrong. He’d have to repent later for prejudging him.

  “Well, thank you Mr.—I mean Drake. I truly look forward to working with you.” Reggie buried his wallet back in his pocket and leaned over and kissed Hannah on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you later, puddin’.”

  Hannah smiled as Reggie exited the restaurant. She then looked over to Drake. She was glad that whatever went on in the men’s bathroom before the three of them sat down to dinner never came up. But now that Reggie was gone and it was just the two of them, Hannah couldn’t resist having a little fun. She cleared her throat, leaned in with her elbows on the table and said to Drake, “So, I hear you know God personally.”

  Chapter 15

  “Jem, you have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this,” Locksie said as she and Jem sat in the hotel conference room where the Mary Kay meeting was being held.

  “Anytime,” Jem replied. “For fifty dollars in products that is.” The two laughed.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” the regional consultant said as everyone cleaned up the stations where they had been sitting. “This was a marvelous turnout. I just want to let you guys know that next month’s meeting will be at its usual location. Somehow, this month the hotel we normally have our meetings at double-booked. But good thing for us, the Hilton Easton location was here to save the day, giving us a tremendous discount on our last-minute use of their facility.” Everyone began clapping. “So, if you ever have the opportunity to patronize them, please do so. I hear the food at their restaurant is to die for.”

  “Mmm, that sounds good,” Locksie said to Jem. “I’m starved.”

  “Me too. You wanna try the food at the restaurant here? We can always just take a look at the menu, and if we don’t see anything we like, the Cheesecake Factory is right around the corner.”

  Locksie, who was never one to wear a watch, pulled out her cell phone and checked the time. It was a little after 8:00 P.M. “Yeah, they should still be open. Let’s finish packing this stuff up and head over.”

  “Cool,” Jem said as she helped Locksie pack up the last of the products, making sure she kept aside her hot pink bag full of fifty dollars worth of free goodies.

  “This hotel is the smokin’ whip,” Jem said, pushing her long mircobraids behind her ear once they had gotten on the elevator. Locksie looked over at her as they left the conference room, and couldn’t help but admire what a wonderful job she had done on Jem’s dark chocolate, beautiful skin. Every single shade she was wearing looked as if it were made just for her.

  “Yeah, it is.” Locksie looked around. “I wouldn’t mind just coming here for a weekend alone with Dawson.”

  “I bet you wouldn’t. No offense, but what woman wouldn’t? I mean, girl, your man is fee-yiiine. Shoot, I’d want to spend the weekend here with him too.”

  Just then, Locksie remembered why she never really talked to Jem too often. Her bluntness was just a little too much for Locksie at times. Locksie knew her man was fine, so the fact that Jem said it didn’t bother her the least bit; it was the way she said it that sent chills up her spine. It was like what she really wanted to say was, “Watch ya back, girlfriend, or I might steal on ya.”

  Locksie shook off Jem’s comment as they got off the elevator and headed toward the restaurant.

  “Seating for two?” the hostess asked them.

  “We’d like to look at the menu first, please,” Jem told her. “Because if y’all got stuff that we can’t even pronounce or if y’all’s menus don’t have prices on them, we out!” As the hostess handed Jem a menu, Locksie happened to notice a couple cozied up at a table in the back of the restaurant. She couldn’t believe her eyes once she realized who the man and the woman were.

  An appointment with Reggie, huh? Locksie just shook her head. Drake, you so-called Christian, out at nine o’clock at night with a married woman. Humph, must be one of them Sunday-only Christians. Locksie didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Hannah had lied to her and was out with a man instead of her so-called appointment with her business partner, or the fact that the man she was out with was her boyfriend’s little brother.

  “What do you think, Locksie?” Jem nudged her and pushed the menu toward her, interrupting Locksie’s thoughts.

  “Uh, Jem, I’m sorry. But what I think is that I just lost my appetite,” Locksie said as she wondered how she would confront Hannah.

  Chapter 16

  “Can you believe that?” Locksie said to her aunt as she paced back and forth across the kitchen floor.

  Mary sighed, put her hands on her hips and sarcastically replied, “No, I couldn’t believe it when you called me first thing Saturday morning to talk about it. I couldn’t believe it yesterday when you called me to talk about it again. And now, here it is Monday morning and surprisingly enough, I still can’t believe it.” Mary shooed her hand at Locksie. “Girl, ain’t you got nobody besides me to go running to to put somebody else’s business in the streets?”

  “Besides you and Dawson, Auntie, you know I don’t talk to nobody else. Well, I talk to my clien
t, Hannah, sometimes, but I very well can’t in this case, now can I, seeing how she’s the topic of discussion.”

  “Well, what did Dawson say when you talked to him?”

  “His brother is the other topic of discussion.” Locksie tightened her lips as if she were fit to be tied. “And I wasn’t about to be the one to tell him about that so-called Christian brother of his. I mean, even though Drake is younger than Dawson, Dawson really looks up to him.”

  “Hold up,” Mary said, raising her hand as if taking offense. “Go back for a minute. What do you mean by his so-called Christian brother? You say that like just because the boy is a Christian he ain’t human. Like he’s supposed to have some superhuman powers that keep him from having an error in judgment.”

  Locksie stopped pacing, sighed and dropped her arms to her side. “It’s not that. It’s just that when Dawson and I decided to move in together, Drake started talking all this mess about how much nicer it would be if we moved in together as husband and wife.”

  “Oh, you mean he said the same thing I told you?”

  “Yeah, but you ain’t out committing adultery either, now, are you?” Mary was silent. “Are you?”

  Not even trying to entertain Locksie’s question, Mary said, “Look, Locksie. You are my niece and I love you to death. But I think that right now your focus should be on your own relationship with God and not Drake’s.”

  “Okay, then what about Hannah? I mean adultery, Aunt Mary. Do you know how many times she has cried to me about Elkan cheating on her and me thinking that he’s just this low down, dirty dog? And here she turns around and does the same thing?”

  Mary still wasn’t getting why Locksie was in such a huff. “I guess the part where I’m confused is that I don’t understand why you are so upset about your friends committing adultery, when you, yourself, are fornicating.” Mary’s tone was gentle because she didn’t want to sound condemning. “Baby girl, sin is—”

  “Sin.” Locksie said, finishing the statement for her. She then slumped down in the chair next to her aunt. “Sin is sin. I know. I’ve heard that before.”

  Mary smiled, patted Locksie’s hand and then took a sip of her coffee. She pointed to the cup of coffee that sat on the table in front of Locksie. “Go on and drink your coffee before it gets cold.”

  Locksie picked up the mug and took a sip. “I don’t know why I’m so worked up about it. I guess I just hate that Hannah lied to me. The fact that she lied to me scares me because it makes me think that she’s not the person I thought she was. I mean, she knows firsthand how it feels to be cheated on. How could she turn around and do the same thing back to her husband? And how could Drake make her do something like this? If he wants to go to hell, fine! But I don’t want him taking my friend with him.”

  “My, my,” Mary said. She couldn’t believe that last sentence had just come out of Locksie’s mouth.

  Picking up on her aunt’s tone, Locksie said, “What? What’s the matter?”

  What Mary wanted to say was, “Now you know how I feel about Dawson. Even though you are both consenting adults, you’re my niece and I feel like he’s taking you to hell with him by allowing you to live in sin with him.” But instead she bit her tongue. The Holy Spirit told her not to speak on it right now, so she had to be obedient. Instead, the Holy Spirit gave her other words to say.

  “Locksie, baby, you haven’t even talked to them yet; not Hannah or Drake,” Mary told her. “So, maybe you shouldn’t speak on things that you haven’t taken the time to learn the facts about. Believe it or not, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Take, for example, the one time Brother Will was seen pulling out of the parking lot of that adult book and video store. The news spread across the church like a California wildfire. Come to find out, Brother Will was just trying to go to that little car wash right next to the bookstore, but he passed it. He made the first turn he could so that he could turn around and go back. Well, unfortunately for him, the first turn was the parking lot of that adult store. So, as he sat there waiting to make the turn out of the parking lot, Sister Abram saw him. The next thing Brother Will knows, everybody’s gossiping about how he was seen inside the adult store buying perverted items and whatnot, when that wasn’t the case at all. Had Sister Abram talked to him first, none of that mess would have jumped off, but instead, she just let those lips get to flappin’.”

  “So, what are you trying to say, Aunt Mary? That I’m running my mouth?” Locksie took offense at being compared to Sister Abram. Although she had never stepped foot inside Mary’s church, she had heard enough stories about the tale-bearing, vicious-tongued, strife-creating Sister Abram, wife of Deacon Abram.

  “Plain and simple, what I’m saying to you, Locksie, is that thou shall not bear false witness.”

  “Ugh! No more. No more about God, Christians, commandments, scripture. Whatever!” Locksie was truly becoming frustrated as she stood up, walked over to the sink and poured her barely touched coffee down the drain. Religion seemed to be in her face everywhere she went; even in mall parking lots. She was sick and tired of it and just wanted to live her life how she wanted, and not how God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, whoever He was, wanted her to. I’m a grown woman, Locksie fussed in her head. God can’t tell me what to do.

  “You better knock that pitch down a tone or two before I knock you on your a—” Mary caught herself. She wasn’t going to let that cursin’ demon get the best of her. Besides, she didn’t want this to turn into a debate or argument. That would defeat the entire purpose of trying to explain God and Christ’s love. She had to show it by action when she couldn’t tell about it. So, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then opened them again. “We better go, sweetie.” Mary took her mug over to the sink and kissed Locksie on the check. As tears welled up in Locksie’s eyes, Mary embraced her.

  Mary knew what her niece was going through. She was going through the stages of conviction, and because she only knew of God and didn’t have a personal relationship with Him, she didn’t understand it nor did she know how to deal with it. So, instead of pointing the finger at herself and perhaps correcting her own life, Locksie wanted to direct the attention away from herself and point the finger at other people. Mary understood because she had been there and done that as her memories went back to when she first gave her life to Christ. Like Locksie, she hadn’t wanted to come willingly, so God dragged her. She only hoped that Locksie would see the light before she had to go through the same thing.

  After leaving her aunt’s house earlier that day, Locksie could hardly even think straight. A client had come in and asked for a relaxer and roller set, but Locksie’s mind was so far gone that she took the client right over to the shampoo bowl and began washing her hair. The woman had so much new growth that no way would a roller set have lasted, so Locksie ended up having to flat iron it and not charge the woman.

  It was really bothering Locksie how she had behaved at Mary’s house. She had never gotten so out of line with her aunt. But standing there in that kitchen, Mary had just reminded her so much of her mother. No matter how sweet a tone and how pleasant Locksie’s mother sounded whenever she talked to her, in Locksie’s mind, she was simply trying to use honey instead of vinegar to belittle Locksie and remind her what a sinner she was and that if she kept it up, she’d go to hell. Suddenly, it hit Locksie like a ton of bricks, right then and there . . .

  “If you keep it up, you will go to hell.” Locksie spoke softly, but it was almost as if a ventriloquist act was going on. Like it was Locksie’s mouth moving, but someone else’s voice was speaking the words to her.

  A little shaken by the experience, Locksie stood there and thought, So, that’s what that Holy Spirit Aunt Mary keeps talking about sounds like.

  Chapter 17

  “Earth to Drake! Earth to Drake,” Dawson shouted as the two sat in a booth at Subway. They had just finished working out together at the gym. Initially, Dawson had a client coming after their workout, but when the client can
celed, the two brothers decided to go grab a bite to eat.

  “Oh, my bad,” Drake replied, snapping out of his daze.

  “Have you heard anything I’ve said all day?” Dawson took a bite of his six-inch tuna sub. “If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you got pu—” Drake gave Dawson a daring look. “I mean, a woman on the brain.” Dawson caught himself from almost letting that expletive slip. He had gotten away with one or two around his brother, but he tried really hard to respect the fact that if his brother didn’t use that type of language himself, then more than likely he didn’t want to hear it.

  That was one thing Dawson had noticed about Drake, though. He loved people knowing that he was a man of God. Drake had once told him that people knowing he was a Christian protected him from having to be subjected to foul language or dirty jokes. And if someone at the job was getting married and having a bachelor party at a strip club, Drake didn’t even get tempted with an invitation, although he had walked up on a conversation or two at the water cooler about what had taken place at some of those parties. Half the time, he couldn’t even attend the weddings because he didn’t want to lie by omission when the reverend asked if anyone knew cause why the couple shouldn’t be married. He had heard cause enough at the water cooler.

  “Well, am I right, little bro?” Dawson asked.

  Drake exhaled. “Kinda, sorta.” Drake shrugged and then picked at his seafood sub.

  “I’ll take that as a yes. So, what’s her name? Is she fine? Let me guess, she’s not saved. Yep, that’s got to be it.”

  “She’s married,” Drake said without beating around the bush.

  “What?” Dawson exclaimed. “She’s married?”

  “Will you hold it down, for Pete’s sake?” Drake attempted to hush his brother. “I haven’t known her long, and you know me, I just don’t give any ol’ woman a second look, but she’s . . . she’s different.”