Who Wants That Perfect Love Story Anyway

by Natavia

  When I moved out, I got my own spot. I didn’t know why Tashondra thought I was going to live with her and her kids. If I couldn’t live with my girl and daughter, there was no way in hell I could live with that bitch. Bad enough the bitch was taking photos of me with her kids and shit, and when we had plans, she would invite them.

  When they started calling me daddy, I knew I needed help for even doing my girl and daughter like that. I might look like one, but I wasn’t a man yet. I was still the lost little boy that lost his parents at nine years old. I was stuck in time and now I was getting help to become a better man. Now, I was trying to call her back to apologize for disrespecting her, but I was too late. Another man was doing what I should’ve been doing.

  Tee-Tee

  I hit Cam up because I needed to have a woman’s point of view on a few things. We were meeting at T.G.I.F. I pulled up in my money green Jaguar. Cam was sitting at the bar waiting for me. She was already nursing her drink. I kissed her cheek and sat down next to her. Some things I couldn’t talk about to my niggas because I didn’t want them knowing about my love life. When I sat down, I ordered me a long island ice tea.

  “So, what’s up Tee?” she asked me.

  “I can’t take this shit no more! Ever since Corey and me started fucking he had been acting shady. He was even out stunting with a light skin, duck looking bitch in Royal’s Aston Martin,” I vented.

  Cam looked at me like I was crazy. “You like men?” she asked me.

  I didn’t even know why that was a surprise. I didn’t answer her. I rolled my eyes at her instead.

  “Maybe if you start dressing like a woman he would notice you more. How can he take you seriously when you getting money the same way he is? Then you hang out with nothing but niggas! Girl, for a minute I thought you was on some dyke shit.”

  I shook my head.

  I know y’all surprised right? I bet y’all thought the whole time I was a nigga, but anyways, that was why I came to talk to her. She might have had her quiet moments, but she didn’t sugar coat shit. Other than that, I was an attractive female. I was a dark skinned, slim, curvy type of chick. I was a little on the short side though, I was only 5’0 foot even. I weighed about 130 pounds. People told me I look like the actress/singer, KeKe Palmer.

  That girlie shit wasn’t for me though. I couldn’t even walk in heels. I tried and ended up right on my ass. I didn’t wear dresses or spend all my time shopping like most females. I rather shoot a few hoops with Corey or chill at the bar watching the game while sipping on a Corona.

  I kept my hair and nails done though. I wasn’t that ratchet. Today I was rocking a bob with a swoop bang that covered my right eye. I was wearing a red and white Adidas sweat suit with a pair of white shell heads. My breast was small and perky. Half the time I didn’t wear a bra. I had my zipper on my jacket zipped down showing cleavage and my angel wings that were tatted on my chest showed. Even though I was wearing a sweat suit it hugged me tightly showing off my shape. I was tomboy sexy, like how Aaliyah was back in the day, except I wore my clothes tighter.

  “Don’t get it twisted, Cam, I like as much dick as you probably do! Just because I am around a lot of fine ass men all day and not jumping their bones doesn’t make me gay. But that little nigga, Corey, be doing some things to me!”

  We laughed.

  “Corey though, Tee? He is loud, obnoxious, rude, and ghetto! He’s still in his teens and you know how teens are. You can’t possibly consider being with him, are you? I can see what got you hooked though because he is fine as hell!” she giggled.

  “I’m pregnant!” I blurted out.

  Cam spit her drink out. “Are you serious? Please don’t tell me he’s the father!”

  Silence.

  “O.M.G! Are you really serious?” she asked me in disbelief.

  “That’s why I need some advice. I’m not sure about having a baby. I live the fast life. I like to get my hustle on just like the next man. I’m thinking about getting an abortion because I just can’t do it alone!” I was almost on the verge of tears. I might act hard sometimes, but at the end of the day, I was still a woman. I had feelings just like any ordinary chick.

  Cam grabbed my hand. “If you need me to go with you I will. I really think that you should get his input on it because it’s his seed, too. You can’t just kill the man’s baby and not tell him.”

  “I know that already. It’s just that my emotions are everywhere. I don’t think I’m mentally ready to have that conversation with him. I don’t know what to do. Ever since I pistol whipped this bitch he was messing with last week, he has been ignoring me.” She looked at me like I was crazy. I pistol-whipped the same bitch that he was riding around with in his brother’s car.

  “You need help! You out here drinking while pregnant, hustling and trying to commit attempted murders? What the fuck is wrong with you?” she snapped.

  “Love, I love him!”

  She shook her head. “It must be something with them Kane men because Royal got me sprung, too,” she blushed then got serious. “Who else you screwing in that circle?” she asked me.

  I threw my napkin at her. “Bitch, don’t come for me! You know damn well I’m not on that shit. I ain’t loving the crew like I’m on some freak shit. Corey is the only one and he will always be the only one I’m sleeping with. I never fucked Royal, Ashaun, Killa, or none of them other guys I be hanging with.”

  “Just checking. I still love you though. I wasn’t trying to upset you or anything. I just rather know now instead of finding out later on down the road.”

  I pushed her playfully and then we chatted for a few hours until it was time for me to go home.

  *****

  It was good being able to see Cam smile more. I despised Koran. Cam was a good woman and she didn’t deserve the things he put her through. When he went to her job and whipped her ass a few years back because he thought she gave him a S.T.D. I was livid. I wanted to kill him. Instead, I got a few of my cousins to come down from Philly and rob his tattoo shop. I never told anyone that I had something to do with it. I knew Royal would’ve taken care of it, but she made Jamie and I promise to keep it a secret.

  I had only known Cam for a few years through The Fam. We were one big ass family, which was mostly not related. I met Cam at Royal’s mother’s house one Sunday. Royal didn’t trust many people so when he invited me over for dinner, I was ecstatic.

  I had to prove to Royal I wasn’t just any ordinary chick. My mom was battling breast cancer and we couldn’t afford the medical bills. My dad had gotten laid off and being that I was the oldest out of the three meant I had to step up. My job as a waitress at Denny’s wasn’t any help. Royal and his crew would hang out at Denny’s every weekend after they left a party or some type of club. I knew they were getting money. Shit, everyone knew about The Fam.

  I approached him, practically begged him to put me on. He didn’t understand why an eighteen-year-old female was so eager to hustle. I told him everything from my mom having cancer to us not being able to afford the medical bills and our house. He felt sorry for me. He knew what it was like going through hard times. Needless to say, he fronted me a brick and 15’gs. He told me if I could get rid of it in a week he would consider me.

  It only took me two days. I was about my paper and sometimes I intimidated most niggas because I was getting mad paper. I even went outside the box and started selling prescription drugs. Most of my buyers for those were rich, white kids. I would never go back to struggling, eating baked beans out of cans, or making mustard sandwiches. I had to wear some of my mom’s clothes, which hung off of me. She was bigger and taller than I was before she became sick. I really didn’t mind the baggy clothes though; I was a tomboy back then. I still was, but I didn’t wear my clothes like that anymore.

  I arrived at my building and it was still early. It was only 9pm. I was usually out and about until the wee hours of the morning. I was in a funky mood though. I had a lot of things on my mind. How was I goin
g to raise a baby? Does Corey even want children? It was so many questions that I didn’t have the answer too.

  I lived in a Penthouse suite on the very top floor. It was a high maximum-security building. When you are a female in the game people tried to test you. I’d never had that problem nor do I want it. I could sleep peacefully knowing that someone couldn’t just run up in my crib and rob me. My home had two levels with huge floor to ceiling windows. I could look out the window and see the Bay Bridge and city lights. The view was beautiful. I was moving on up like ‘The Jefferson’s’.

  I texted Corey letting him know that we really needed to talk. I had only known for two days that I was pregnant. Within those two days, I hadn’t talked to him, not even once. When he went through these types of spells, it meant that he was messing around with a new chick. I was tired of our secretive relationship. No one would have ever guessed that we were fucking around with each other. We agreed to keep it that way, but I no longer felt the same way anymore. My feelings for him had grown stronger, and I know his did too, but he would never admit it.

  I got into my Jacuzzi tub to relax. Aromatherapy lavender candles were lit. I sang along to Ashanti’s ‘Foolish’ song as I listened to my iPod. Even though she hadn’t come out with no hot shit in a long time, she was my number one female singer.

  Corey still hadn’t text back yet, so I called him instead. Surprisingly he picked up.

  “Yoooo,” he answered. All you could hear was bitches in the background.

  “Why the hell haven’t you returned my calls? You’ve been that damn busy lately that you can’t pick up? We need talk about some serious shit, and I mean right now!”

  “Shorty check this shit out, I don’t know who the fuck you talking to like that!”

  “Tell her boo,” some bitch cosigned in the background. He continued. “But you damn sure ain’t hollering at me like that. You have been acting really fucked up lately. Holla at me when you get some act right!” He hung up.

  Ooohhhh, this nigga fucking with the wrong one!

  I called Killa because I knew he was with Corey. He told me they were at the “Black Wall” and he told me to slide through, unaware of the situation. I let the water drain out of the Jacuzzi, and stepped into my glass walk-in shower. After I had showered, I got dressed. For some reason I wanted to dress a little sexier, maybe it was the lack of attention. When Cam and I were out eating earlier, she held a lot of men’s attention because of her sex appeal. I wanted the same thing. Maybe he would realize that it was other men out here that wanted me.

  I got dressed and put on a pair of black liquid leggings, a black deep V-neck long sleeve stretch shirt. The V stopped above my navel, and of course I was braless. My boobs sat up just right. Instead of heels, I had on a pair of Alexander Wang riding boots with gold buckles. Watching my mom apply her make-up had helped out a lot. I applied eyeliner and mascara to my naturally long eyelashes. My gold glitter lipstick by, Keyshia KA’oir, gold diamond bangles and hoop earrings set the outfit off. I posed in my 10ft mirror on the wall checking myself out. I looked really good. My hair was still intact as if I had just gotten it done. I grabbed my wallet, keys, and cellphone. I didn’t do purses!

  ***

  When I approached their table, all eyes were on me. Almost the whole squad was there. “Dammnnn, Tee! You doing it like that now?” Killa asked. I smiled then turned around modeling for them.

  “How do I look?” I asked them rubbing it in.

  “Shorty if I wasn’t married and you weren’t one of my niggas, you would definitely get snatched up,” Ashaun responded. Corey sucked his teeth, but that was his problem. He stayed getting jealous on the sly tip. That was how I knew his feelings were stronger for me than just some casual fuck.

  “Who you trying snatch up, Tee? I almost didn’t recognize you with makeup on,” Royal said.

  “Ummm, nobody yet. I just wanted to stop through and see what fine ass nigga I can take home tonight,” I responded slapping hands with him. He laughed because he thought I was bluffing. He was like everyone else who thought I was into pussy.

  “She need take her retarded ass home and let the niggas hangout for once,” Corey stated agitated.

  I smiled at him. He was funny as hell. He couldn’t stand the male attention I was receiving. A cute brown skin dude approached the table.

  “You look good as hell shorty! Can I buy you a drink and we can grab a table to chat?”

  “Sure,” I responded.

  “Nigga, she can buy her own damn drinks! Get the fuck away from this table with your thirsty ass!” Corey damn near shouted even though he had some red haired bitch sitting on his lap. It took everything in me to not smack this girl and besides I didn’t want our business on front street.

  “Damn man, chill! Fuck you blocking for?” Royal asked him.

  “This fool being disrespectful! What if one of us was her nigga, then what?” he asked him.

  “But none of us are, so what the fuck?” he asked back.

  The ratchet ass red haired chick that was in his lap spoke up. “Why the fuck are you worried about her?” she snapped on him. I knew that squeaky voice. She was the same bitch that was cosigning in the background.

  “Y’all got some crazy ass shit going on!” Ashaun mumbled. The brown skin dude that approached me didn’t say one word. Let me find out he was a bitch ass dude.

  “Look nigga, get the fuck away from her! Simple as that! If you got a problem with it we can handle this shit man to man,” he told the stranger that looked like he was ready to shit a brick. He still hadn’t said anything since Corey jumped on him. He walked away quietly.

  I didn’t know if it was the hormones or my feelings being shitted on again. Maybe it was both, but all I saw was red when I jumped on him. The bitch on his lap fell on the floor. I was swinging on his ass. He fucked other bitches and then he got mad when a guy showed interest in me. What added icing on the cake was he had a bitch sitting in his lap the whole time. He was basically showing me he’s going to have his cake and eat it, too.

  He could do whatever and all I could do was sit back and watch, not today I wouldn’t! Red hair started swinging on me. I turned around and straight two pieced that hoe. Knocking her right back on her ass. I grabbed one of the empty plates on the table then smashed it into her face; blood splattered everywhere. The other chick that was there who was with Killa must have been her friend because she started pulling my hair.

  Everyone was trying to break it up, but I blacked out. The chick was taller than me, but I was stronger. I swung her into the table then delivered a vicious kick to her stomach. She doubled over and when she did, I kicked her in her mouth. Corey grabbed me then threw me over his shoulder. Everyone gave up trying to break it up when I started swinging back on them. When we got outside, I bit his shoulder.

  He yelled, “Agghhhh, bitch! What the fuck is wrong with you?” He dropped me on the sidewalk.

  He stood over me with his fist balled up. He was pissed and I knew he really wanted to hit me. I was pissed, too, but why did he have to look so good? He had the same chocolate complexion as his brother. He stood about 6’2 and he was also bowlegged. He had a boyish look to him with a slender, athletic frame. He had on a pair of black True Religion jeans, black Polo boots, and a True Religion black and red lumberjack, long sleeve collar shirt.

  His pants sagged a little off his butt, but they weren’t baggy. His black Yankee’s fitted hat was turned backward displaying his fresh line up. His hair was dreaded and they reached passed his shoulders. He even had diamond platinum gold fronts in his mouth, top and bottom row. He was straight thugged out in every sense of the word.

  “I’m sick and tired of you feeding me lies, just to fuck me whenever you want to. I let you take my virginity, something that I can’t get back and you are out here treating me like a common whore. Then when we get around people we got to be all secretive and shit! I’m sick of all that shit! I have feelings too, or do you not care? I’m not out here di
srespecting you in your face! I deserve the same fucking treatment! Behind closed doors you act like you care, but to the public’s eye you treat me just like a nigga!”

  “Awww, hell naw! You smashing Tee-Tee?” Killa asked.

  I wasn’t even aware they had come outside. Ashaun and Royal were cracking up, but I didn’t find a damn thing funny.

  “You got these motherfuckers all in our business and shit! Then you come down here showing off your cleavage and shit to make me mad! You knew what you were doing giving that nigga googly eyes and shit in my face. But you just had to start fighting and shit. That’s the problem, you don’t know how to act like a lady in the streets. I treat you different behind closed doors because you don’t act like a nigga behind closed doors! If I would have never fucked you, I would’ve thought that you were one.

  What man wants a woman that pistol whip bitches and always fighting and shit? You ratchet as hell! You are like a woman version of me and that shit don’t sit right with me. I do care about you, even got strong feelings for you, but I can’t and will not have a woman that lives the same life as me! I knew how you were from day one so I can’t expect much from you. I thought that maybe you would fuck with me enough to calm the fuck down a bit, but the shit just made you worse! I’m not use to all this emotional boo-coo shit from you neither. One day you some tough, I don’t give a fuck type chick. Then the next day you be on some whiney shit! You confuse the fuck out of me with your bipolar ass mood swings! This shit is for the birds shorty, on some real shit!”

  I slapped fire out of his ass. He must have gotten tired of me putting my hands on him because he slapped my ass back.

  Killa pushed him. “You don’t put your hands on no damn female! Nigga fuck is wrong wit you?” he asked him.