A Right to Remain

by Beth Rinyu

  “Hey, what’s going on?” I answered, trying to sound upbeat.

  “Wow, you are still alive! Two unreturned phone calls. I was starting to get a little worried,” he joked.

  “I’m sure you already knew I was alive and kicking, after all I work with Julia.” The words escaped my lips before I could even stop them.

  “Lace, do you have a problem with that?”

  I re-filled my empty wine glass, figuring this call was going to warrant it. “No problem at all. Just as long as I’m not a topic in your conversations…we’re good.”

  “Lacey, I told you I wasn’t going to say anything to her, and I meant it!” His voice rose in defense.

  “Fine.” I gulped down another sip of wine. “Just one question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You have women falling at your feet who are only a few minutes’ drive from you. Why are you seeing one who is hundreds of miles away? Who, may I add, isn’t even your type!”

  “How do you know what my type is?”

  “When have you ever dated a blond girl?”

  He let out a loud chuckle. “Well, maybe my taste has changed.”

  “Okay…whatever you say,” I mumbled, taking another sip of wine.

  “Lace, I don’t want to fight with you over this, and if it bothers you that badly, then I’ll stop seeing her.”

  “No, no, no…it’s fine. Just don’t mention my name to her, and we’re good!”

  He growled something under his breath. “You know, I don’t get you. You worry about me saying something to her. Me. Someone you’ve known for years. The person who was best friends with your husband. Yet, you so freely told your friend you’ve only known for a few months.”

  I could feel my patience dwindling and my anger rising. He knew nothing about my relationship with Quinn and how much I trusted him. “I told you before, Adam, it’s my past, and I’ll tell whoever I choose to tell it to, and Julia Smyth is one person I don’t wish to tell.”

  “Okay, so tell a cop, who probably knows and talks to more people than Julia. That’s really smart, Lacey.”

  “You don’t even know him, so how dare you assume anything? Yeah, maybe I have only known him for a few months, but I feel more comfortable talking to him than anyone, and I trust him one hundred percent.”

  “Wow, so I guess Aaron has been replaced.”

  I bit my bottom lip, wishing I could reach through the phone and grab him by the throat. “Fuck you, Adam!” I shouted, hanging up the phone before he could get anything else out.

  I buried my face in my hands and let the tears flow. How could Adam be so heartless to say such a thing to me? I walked over to the mantle and took down the wedding picture of Aaron and me, keeping my eyes on his beautiful face behind the glass of the frame. “Hey, sweetie, I just need you to know you’re still my number one guy, and I’ll always love you. You’re still the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I go to bed. We have so many happy memories. Memories I will never forget, and I would give anything to have you here right now so we could continue to make more of those. I want to be happy, but I feel like if I am then I’m betraying you.” I filled my lungs with air and took a seat on the couch, never letting go of the photograph in my hand. “You made me so happy in the short amount of time we had together. I just need to know you’re okay with me being happy without you.” I clutched the photo close to my heart, wishing he could jump out of the picture and tell me he was okay with me moving on, wishing I could hold him one more time, and hoping when he took his last breath he knew I would love him forever.

  Chapter 21

  Quinn

  Lacey was a sight for sore eyes. I hadn’t seen her in four days. I had been working nonstop, and the few hours I would stop home to get some sleep she was at work. So, when I saw her at the end of the dock with Gus, looking out at the frozen lake, I wanted to run up and hug her. I missed her so much it kind of scared me. I stood silently, staring at her with my hands in my pockets while she bent down, still oblivious to my presence, patting Gus on his head. She was so beautiful, and for the past four days she had consumed my mind completely. Being with her the other night was better than I could have ever imagined. She was everything a guy could want. Beautiful, sexy, and caring. I knew I shouldn’t be feeling this way toward her. I was still getting out of my marriage, and she was still mourning the loss of her husband. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t help myself.

  Her head tilted to the side when she finally realized I was standing a few feet away. She stood up, and my eyes locked with hers as a slow, beautiful grin spread across her face. I took a few steps closer to her, while she did the same until we were just a few inches apart. “Hey,” she whispered, looking absolutely adorable with her rosy cheeks and red nose.

  “Hey,” I replied, unable to hold back a smile.

  “Weatherman says it’s supposed to snow tonight,” she said, tilting her head back and looking up at the sky.

  “That’s what they’re saying.”

  “Well, I love the snow. You?”

  “Yeah, I don’t mind it.”

  “I missed you, Quinn.” I couldn’t believe my ears, and it took a few minutes for my brain to register what she had just said. Her face began to blush even more, and she shook her head. “I’m sorry. That just came out. I shouldn’t have—”

  I grabbed her freezing cold hand in mine. “No. You should have because I missed you too, a lot.”

  “Really?” Her voice cracked.

  “Really.”

  I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “So, did you eat dinner?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Well, I have a big pot of chicken soup cooking on the stove and a couple of chick flicks. Want to get snowed in with me?”

  “I’d love to.” I grinned.

  Her cold hand reached up and caressed my face.

  “Do you ever wear gloves?” I teased.

  She let out a giggle. “I keep losing them.”

  I wrapped my arm around her, and we headed inside with Gus running in ahead of us. It was good to finally be home and it was even better to have my arms wrapped around Lacey.

  After dinner, I lit a fire, and we settled in front of the TV to watch a movie.

  “I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few days,” she blurted out just as the movie was about to begin.

  “Oh yeah? About what?”

  “You and me, and what happened the other night.”

  “And, what were you thinking?”

  There was a brief pause before she began to speak again. “That it was wonderful and healing and…” She chewed on her lower lip. “Scary.”

  “Why was it scary?”

  “Because I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

  “You’re not going to, Lacey. Why would you even think that?”

  “Quinn, you’re married, and the last thing I want to do is become the other woman and cloud your judgment even more. I kept thinking, what if Aaron and I were going through the same problems you and your wife are? I wouldn’t want some other girl coming along and sleeping with him.”

  I shook my head in frustration. The last thing I wanted was for her to think she had anything to do with my divorce. “Lacey, that’s not how it is. My marriage is over. I’ve come to terms with that, and now it’s all a matter of finalizing the paperwork.”

  “But, Quinn…if there is even a small chance that the two of you can work things out. I don’t want to be the one who took that chance away.”

  “Lacey, you had nothing at all to do with my decision. That was a choice I made long before anything happened between us. You may have helped me see clearer to reach that decision, but never once did you sway me to think one way or another. I came to my choice on my own.”

  She nodded, still a little hesitant over the whole thing.

  “Listen to me. Please don’t feel guilty over this. I’m happy, and I think you are too.”
/>   “I am,” she whispered. “But I need you to know I meant it when I said I won’t expect anything from you.”

  “Lacey, stop, okay? We’re good.”

  “Okay.” She nodded.

  “Hey, come here.” I tapped on the couch, summoning for her to come closer. She moved over, and I pulled her into me. Tilting her chin so she was looking up at me, my head dropped to meet her lips. She took me a little off guard when she slipped her tongue into my mouth first, but I responded just as eagerly. My hands slid under her shirt while our tongues moved in unison. Every part of my body was aching for her, letting me know just how much I missed her. I was hoping I was imagining things when I heard my phone ringing. I debated on whether I should even bother to see who it was. I reached behind me with my free hand while my other one continued moving about under Lacey’s shirt, and my lips remained locked with hers.

  “Fuck,” I whispered when I saw it was work calling.

  “What’s wrong?” Lacey asked, trying to catch her breath.

  “It’s work. I’ll just be one second.” I kissed her on the head. “Yeah,” I answered.

  “Quinn, I hate to do this to you, but can you come in for a few hours? Two of the guys in your squad called out, and we’re spread really thin. There was a huge drug bust. An Amber Alert just went out on a domestic, and there was a really bad accident on Union and Broad, and we need a detective on the scene there.”

  I raked my hand through my hair. “Yup…I’ll be there in a few.” I placed down my phone, wishing I never answered.

  “I have to run out. There was a bad accident, and the other detective they have on is tied up.” I looked down at Lacey with my entire body still throbbing for her.

  “Oh no, I hope everyone’s okay.” She sat up and adjusted her shirt while I leaned down and kissed her once again, only making my situation worse.

  “I would much rather be hanging out with you, watching chick flicks.” I reluctantly stood up and threw my jacket on.

  “It’s fine. Your job is more important than girly movies. Just promise me one thing.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “If we get all this snow they’re predicting, will you help me build a snowman?”

  “Promise.” I grinned. She walked me to the door, and I couldn’t resist kissing her again. “Okay, I really shouldn’t have done that. Now I don’t want to leave.”

  She shook her head and gave me a bashful smile. “Well, let’s see. You have a key to my place, right?”

  I nodded, liking the sound of where she was going with this.

  “Well…” She swept her tongue across her bottom lip, drawing my attention to it. “I have this terrible habit of watching TV in my bedroom and falling asleep with it on.”

  “That sounds like a problem.” I played along.

  “Yeah, it really drives me crazy when I wake up in the middle of the night to infomercials. So, I was thinking…” She zipped up my coat, appearing to be deep in thought. “Maybe you can use your key to come in and make sure my TV is turned off tonight.”

  “Yeah, I could definitely do that.” I couldn’t hold back a smile. I was loving this flirtatious side to her, wanting her more and more with each passing second. “I’ll see you later.” I bent down and kissed her on the cheek, and even doing just that was pure sexual torture. Still I managed to pull it together and hopped into my truck, counting down the hours when I would see Lacey again.

  Chapter 22

  Lacey

  Quinn had texted me around eight to let me know it was snowing, but I hadn’t heard from him since. I finally decided to head to bed a little after midnight. I turned on the TV and cocooned myself in my comforter. It didn’t take long before my heavy eyelids won the battle.

  My eyes focused in on the big red 2:22 on my clock. A loud gasp escaped my throat and my head shot up from my pillow when I felt someone sitting on the edge of my bed in the darkness. Quinn’s warm, gentle hand pushed my hair from my face, and I was lulled back to sleep in a matter of seconds.

  When my eyes peeled opened once again, my bedroom was unusually bright. I sat up in bed, stretching my neck, focusing on the winter wonderland outside my bedroom window. The snow was draped over the evergreens, creating the perfect winter scene. I got up and stretched my body, trying to chase away the disappointment when I saw the empty side of the bed and realized Quinn must have not spent the night. Gus’ bed was also empty, and I was fairly certain I’d find him by the front door, pawing to get outside.

  “Gus,” I yelled as I walked into the living room, not finding him where I had expected. I screamed his name again, pulling on my boots that were by the front door. A deep burn invaded the pit of my stomach when I realized he wasn’t in the house. I flung the front door open and let out a gasp, followed by a relieved breath when I found Gus and Quinn on the other side.

  “Where the heck were you guys?” I asked, my heart finally returning to its normal pace.

  “Well, Gus spent the night at my place.”

  “Huh?” I tilted my head in confusion.

  “I didn’t get done working until after one. I heard him whining to go out, so I figured he had to go to the bathroom. Well, when I opened the door he must’ve seen an animal because he took off like crazy.”

  “Oh my God!” My heart sank. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “No need to. I got him. He was soaking wet after rolling around in the snow. So I brought him upstairs to dry him off and we both kind of fell asleep.”

  I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Well, thank you for taking care of him.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to turn off your TV.” He smiled at his little innuendo.

  “Yeah, you did. My TV was off when I woke up this morning.”

  “Oh, then maybe you turned if off in the middle of the night without realizing it because I didn’t even make it into your bedroom before this one darted out the door.”

  My head spun, my stomach rising to my throat. Was I dreaming when I woke up to someone sitting on the edge of my bed?

  “Lacey, are you okay?”

  I nodded, trying to snap out of it. Clearly, I was dreaming, and I wasn’t going to mention it to Quinn. It was bad enough he had actually witnessed a few of my paranoid episodes. I wasn’t going to give him more reason to think I was a complete head case. Nightmares were no strangers to me, so I looked at this as a welcoming change to actually be dreaming about Quinn instead. But this one seemed so real. I definitely felt a presence and even smelled a faint smell of cigarettes, which was so out of character for Quinn, who didn’t smoke.

  “Yeah…I’m fine. Do you want some coffee?” I shook it off.

  “Yeah, sure.” He kept a strong gaze upon me as if he didn’t believe I was okay.

  “I know I look a mess. You don’t have to keep staring,” I joked, trying to put his mind at ease.

  He inched closer and gripped my shoulders. “You look beautiful, Lacey.” His arms moved down my back, and he pulled me into a hug, sensing my need to feel the security of him being so near at the moment. I rested my head on his chest and any small trace of lingering fear in my mind quickly diminished.

  The snow didn’t let up all day. There was already well over a foot on the ground, and they were still calling for a few more inches overnight. After Quinn plowed the driveway and an intense snowball fight, we built a snowman together. It had been such a fun day, and I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed so much.

  My muscles ached from shoveling and it felt good to finally be relaxing in front of the fire with a glass of wine with Quinn. Even the fact that tomorrow was Monday could be overlooked after the great day I had. In the back of my mind I was hoping for a snow day, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up.

  “I had a lot of fun today,” I whispered as we stared at the dancing flames. He turned his head to look at me. I couldn’t believe any man would ever want me again after what I had been through. I especially couldn’t believe someone like Quinn would
, but he did, and in a weird way, I found I was liking myself a little bit more each day because of it. I wanted to show him I wasn’t afraid anymore. I wanted him to see how much he had helped me overcome that fear with his gentle, caring ways. Tonight, I didn’t want to be that scared, helpless girl he had seen in his bed a week ago. I wanted to be the old Lacey. The one who wasn’t afraid to have sex, and I wanted Quinn to get a glimpse of her. My fingertips brushed against the side of his face while my other hand reached for the hemline of his shirt, lifting it over his head. I didn’t check out his body much the last time we were together. I was too nervous. I could tell even with his shirt on he was well-built. As I stared at him shirtless, I knew I was right in my assumption. Our tongues clashed together as we lay down on the hardwood floor. I pulled away, propping myself on my elbow and setting my gaze upon him. This handsome man, who was a stranger a few months ago, was now the one and only person in my life I trusted one hundred percent. How did it happen so quickly? After everything I had been through I had resigned to the fact that I would never be with a man again, yet here I was, preparing to make love to him, the same way we had last week. I didn’t want to take this as a sign from Aaron because in a weird way it made me feel as if I was cheating on him. Still, I couldn’t help but think he had brought Quinn into my life to help me heal.

  “What’s wrong?” Quinn whispered as he stared up at me with pure desire in his eyes.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.” I dropped my head down to his bare chest, placing gentle kisses upon it while sucking in delicious hints of cedar and spice from his shower gel as I feverishly worked to undo the button and zipper on his jeans. Ever so slowly, my lips teasingly trailed down to his abdomen. Pulling his jeans and boxers down, my fingertips skimmed his erection. He let out a deep breath as I continued to glide my fingers up and down in a steady motion, feeling him getting harder with each move I made. My cheek was resting upon his abdomen as I looked up at him, moving down further and wrapping my lips around him. His hands began to move through my hair. “Oh fuck, Lacey,” he whispered as I continued to pleasure him and his arousal continued to grow. He abruptly pulled me up, lifting my shirt over my head and removing my bra. He hovered over me, teasing my breast with his tongue while his hands wandered down to my jeans, removing them and my panties with ease.