The Kiss List (Love List)

by Sonya Weiss

  “I don’t think flying through the air and landing against a curb can technically be counted as a race.” Haley reached behind herself and stacked pillows to lean back on up against the headboard.

  “Sure it can. The only drawback to that accident was the scar from the forehead cut made my stupid cowlick more noticeable. Drew everyone’s eyes right to my hair.”

  “I always liked the cowlick,” Haley said. “It was the only imperfection on the otherwise perfect Max.”

  “Perfect?” He snorted. “Are you being sarcastic?”

  “No. I always thought you were cute.”

  “Yeah. I guess you win. I was cute and grew up to be an incredibly handsome man.”

  Haley laughed. The conversation flowed for almost an hour, and she was reluctant to call it a night when Max said he had to go. She should have been happy that the meeting with Will was going to take place, but all she could think about was Max. Seeing the haunted look in his eyes when he’d talked about his brother had made her wish she could ease his heartache.

  The next day, when she met Will for lunch at the pizza parlor, she tried to concentrate on the conversation with her ex. Will was the perfect gentleman. Handsome, interesting.

  “Considering everything, I was surprised you wanted to see me,” Will said gently, disrupting her thoughts.

  “Considering everything?” Haley frowned, frantically searching her brain for any clue that things between her and Will had ended badly and she’d forgotten. “Um…why wouldn’t I? Did I do something stupid in the past? Did you?”

  He laughed. “Nothing like that. I’m surprised because I didn’t think I’d get a second chance. If you’d like to give it another try, I’m more than willing.” He smiled.

  He has a beautiful smile. He’s kind and interesting. He always was. And this is the moment I’ve been waiting for, everything I’ve been wanting. A soul mate. A happily ever after.

  Except…he isn’t Max.

  “Max?” she said aloud, almost choking on her sip of iced tea.

  Will frowned. “Pardon?”

  “Erm…sorry. I was thinking out loud.”

  “About Max?”

  “Well…” Like it or not, Max was her opposite, her magnet, and the two of them had been pulling toward each other for years. Fighting it every step of the way, but the pull was still there.

  Haley set aside her napkin. “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. You and I…”

  Will let out a sigh. “Let me guess. Friend zone.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said again.

  “It’s fine, Haley, really. My girlfriend and I broke up a month ago and…I’m probably not really ready to get back into dating anyway. I shouldn’t have agreed to this date, but it was nice seeing you again.” Will scooted back his chair and stood.

  His leaving barely registered, and Haley let out a breath she’d held since realizing Max was all she’d been able to think about. Closing her eyes, she tried to imagine the two of them in the future she’d always painted for herself.

  A roomy country house like the one she’d grown up in. Children laughing. A dog or two bounding after the kids. The chaos of a happy, busy family. She and Max doing life together. Chores. Working at Bowman’s. Taking vacations. Making love. Making memories. Making a home.

  Her eyes shot open and she rushed to her feet, breathing fast. No, no. That picture was all wrong. It has to be. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Max didn’t fit into her life that way. Did he? Could he? Haley hurried to leave the restaurant. There couldn’t be any happily ever after feelings for Max. Could there?

  No, she had to squash them. Even if she allowed herself to explore that direction, she could only picture the two of them arguing, and even if their sparring was something she looked forward to, Max would never, in a million years, feel the same.

  …

  Max passed a platter of turkey to his left where Haley sat. The Bowman house was packed with Suzie, her fiancé, and his family, along with Haley’s relatives. He shouldn’t have felt more at home here than with his own family, but he did. Here he was accepted as is by Craig and the rest of the Bowmans. No one trying to change him or tell him to get over what had happened.

  Haley took the platter, and before he let go of it, Max said, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Will.” He said the words, but he didn’t mean them. He wasn’t sorry because he didn’t think the guy was the right one.

  She didn’t seem that concerned, because she just shrugged. But the look she gave him was one of questioning. Frustration.

  “You want to talk about what’s bothering you?” he asked quietly.

  “Not with you,” she muttered.

  From across the table, Suzie said, “This is delicious, Haley.” She dabbed her mouth with a napkin decorated with a turkey and scarecrow.

  Max sensed the air crackling. Like lightning, Suzie was about to strike, and Max hated the thought of one of her barbs hitting Haley. He tensed. Ready to jump in if Haley needed him.

  Lowering her voice, Suzie asked, “So, Haley, should I just write ‘soul mate’ on your plus one for the wedding, or do you have a name for me yet?”

  Haley’s smile was impish. “I have a name for you, all right.”

  Max had to duck his head to hide a smile of his own at the verbal dig that went over Suzie’s head.

  “Well?” Suzie demanded.

  “You’ll see at the wedding.”

  When Suzie hmphed and turned her attention to her fiancé, Haley whispered to Max, “And then she and I will both learn who he is. Maybe I can scrounge up a date at the wedding.”

  Max laughed. “Why don’t you tell Suzie to mind her own business? Stop putting up with the way she butts into your life.”

  Annoyance flared on her face. “Pot calling out the kettle, wouldn’t you say?”

  “My situation is more complicated.”

  “No, it’s not. You don’t say anything to your parents about them pushing for a reconciliation between you and Hugh because you don’t want to deal with family drama any more than I do.”

  Max started to deny it but thought better of it. Because it was true. He didn’t want to deal with the messy emotions and expectations. “You’re right,” he acknowledged grudgingly.

  Haley lolled her tongue out and closed her eyes, letting her head dip to one side.

  “Are you okay, hon?” Celeste asked.

  Haley straightened. “Max almost gave me a heart attack. He said I was right about something.”

  Her father and Celeste laughed.

  “Come with me to choose the Christmas tree,” Haley said, nudging Max with her arm.

  He rubbed his side when Haley nudged him again. “Watch the pointy elbows.”

  “I’m bestowing a great honor upon you. Only a few are ever chosen to help select the Bowman tree.”

  Max took the final bite of his dinner roll. “You need someone for the grunt work.”

  “Your powers of observation have grown, young Jedi.”

  He thought for a few seconds. “Throw in a plate of leftovers and a slice of the pumpkin pie for me to take home, and I’m yours for the night.”

  Heat stained her cheeks. Max realized where her thoughts had traveled. Hers for the night? The turkey turned to lead in his stomach. He hadn’t meant… But he wasn’t opposed… His gut clenched in a grip tighter than a vise. Surely he was sick. Ate something bad. That was why his brain was scrambling for a foothold onto something that made more sense than him thinking about Haley and the two of them spending the night together.

  Haley cleared her throat. “Perfect. Leftovers and pie it is.” She pushed her plate back. “You want to come with us to get the tree, Suzie?”

  Disappointment hit Max. He didn’t want to traipse through the tree farm at Bowman’s with anyone except Haley. When Suzie declined with a little curl
of disgust on her lips and said she didn’t “do outdoors,” heat radiated through him and his heart hammered. Alone with Haley.

  “Get a tree for Celeste, too, will you?” Craig asked.

  “You don’t need to do that,” Celeste protested. “I can buy one.”

  “I know you can, but this is a gift.” Craig nodded at Max. “I have some extra gloves in the closet.”

  Haley went to get them and came back to the kitchen with the ugliest bright yellow winter hat he’d ever seen. A set of googly eyes was glued above the brim, and the earflaps were rounded, sticking out like balls of yarn. She handed it to him and then turned away, but he caught the ghost of a smile.

  “I’ve got the truck keys. Love you, Dad,” she called as she shrugged into a thick coat.

  Max followed her outside, still studying the monstrosity she’d given him. “Bear-deterrent hat?”

  Haley climbed into the truck before she answered. “I bought that special for you.”

  He turned it over in his hands. “I don’t know whether to be touched by the thought of you wanting to keep my ears warm or horrified that you expect me to wear this.”

  She put the truck in gear and drove away from the house. “I found it in the clearance bin at Tilton’s. When I saw it, I thought of you.”

  “You’re joking.”

  “No, seriously. It reminded me of your personality. So cheerful and whimsical.”

  “You are an ever-bubbling stream of snark-asm.” Max put the hat on. “Feels like I have two kittens clinging to my ears.”

  She reached across the space between them and tweaked his cheek. “You look adorable.”

  “I always look adorable.”

  The truck slowed. “Is that…Wynne and Ripley?” she asked, squinting through the windshield.

  Max craned his neck to see his best friend and his sister standing in the doorway of the bakeshop, obviously having a heated discussion.

  Haley left the center of town behind as she headed toward the family business. “I wonder what that was about.”

  Max shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  “I hope your sister finds love again,” Haley said wistfully.

  “I do too. I’m not against that for her, even though it’ll never work out for me.”

  “What?” Haley looked taken aback. “How do you know it won’t?”

  Max decided he’d tell her the truth about his fear. “I could never trust anyone enough to risk my heart again.”

  Haley pulled into the parking lot at Bowman’s and shut off the truck. “That’s too bad, because somewhere, a woman will be robbed of being loved by an amazing man.”

  Max’s eyes widened. She thinks I’m amazing? He couldn’t get his voice to work.

  The slamming of the driver’s side door jolted him out of the shock. He joined Haley, trailing behind her as they trekked around to the back of the building toward the rows of trees. The more mature ones were at the back of the lot, and that meant a good fifteen-minute jaunt in the cold. He was glad for the sharpness of the air. It helped clear his head. Put things into perspective. There was surely nothing more to what Haley had said than the fact that they were developing a friendship. He’d have guessed an alien invasion before he’d have thought that was a possibility, but there it was.

  Though it made him hesitant to admit it to himself, he liked the idea of being friends with Haley. What he didn’t like was the nagging voice inside telling him he had a yearning to become more, that he felt more for her. If he let himself act on that, it would stir up a whole lot of past junk for him.

  He needed to shut these feelings down. Withdraw because that was his default setting after having his heart broken. He couldn’t stand to get hurt again—or worse, hurt Haley—when they would inevitably start bickering and then go their separate ways.

  They were oil and water. And he’d rather be alone than cause her pain.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The Monday after Thanksgiving, Haley manned the sanding station at Bowman’s. Every decoration had to go through a quality-control check before it went on to the stain or paint department. Out of all the tasks, this one was her least favorite.

  It wasn’t always easy to check for stray pieces in the wood using gloves, which meant she had to run her hands over the edges, and she’d already encountered several splinters today.

  “Another one!” she groused, stepping away from the table to inspect her hand. She could see the thin piece of wood under the skin of her palm, but there was no end long enough to grasp to pull out. It was in too deep. Like she was with her never-ending thoughts of Max. Had she been paying attention, she probably would have seen the sliver before it got her.

  On her way to the office to get the tweezers from the first aid kit, she drew near her dad’s station.

  He was deep in conversation with Max, and from their expressions, they were planning something. Haley snuck up behind them, taking care not to let her shoes make a sound.

  “Ha!” she yelled.

  Her dad jumped.

  “Sign of a guilty conscience,” she said.

  “If anyone would know that sign, it’d be you, right?” Max teased.

  “I can’t trade word jabs with you right now.” Haley held up her hand. “See? I’m deathly wounded.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Come on. I’ll dig it out for you.”

  “You sure you know what you’re doing?” her father asked.

  “No pain, no gain,” Max answered, walking away.

  Haley walked beside him, having to take two steps for his every one. “What was that conversation about?”

  “Your dad and I were trying to figure out a way to bribe Santa to get your name off the naughty list.”

  “You’re so funny.” In the office, Haley got the kit and sat in her dad’s chair. She took out the tweezers and handed them to Max. “Go on. Save my life.”

  He turned on the desk lamp and aimed it at the palm of her hand. Holding the tweezers steady, he gently dug out the piece.

  “Thanks.” Haley leaped up from the chair because Max was too close, too warm, too everything for her peace of mind. She turned her back to him and busied herself looking for the antibiotic ointment and a Band-Aid.

  “Haley…are you sure you want to go through with me setting you up with the last guy on your list?”

  She spun around. He looked hesitant. Cagey. “Yes.”

  His mouth tightened for the briefest of seconds.

  “Why are you asking?”

  “No reason.”

  Ah, I get it. Haley covered his hand with hers. “I know it doesn’t look good with all the date flops, but I believe they didn’t work because that means Scott is the one. So don’t worry.”

  He looked down at their hands. “The partnership,” he said in a heavy voice.

  “Isn’t that what you meant?”

  Max pinched his lower lip. “Yeah. Of course. I’ll set the date up with Scott.”

  “But?” she questioned. “You have that ‘big mistake’ expression on your face. What is it you think I’m making a mistake about?”

  “It wasn’t you. I was thinking about my own life.”

  “Oh. Is it something I can help with?”

  He shook his head.

  “Are you sure?” she persisted, flustered without understanding why. “I give good advice.”

  “Trust me on this. You’re the last person who could help.” Max got up and strode from the room.

  Well, someone’s back to his old self. She returned to work, wanting to put the interaction out of her mind, but the nagging suspicion that Max needed help and didn’t want to admit it kept bugging her.

  By the end of the day, she’d had her fill of guessing what was wrong. Take the bull by the horns and get it over with—that’s what she was going to do. Maybe Max was
tired of being the go-between for her dates. Or maybe he was dealing with family drama and was too bothered to admit it. He could use a shoulder, and she could be that for him.

  She zeroed in on his station, marching toward him with sure, determined steps. “Why am I the last person who could help?”

  Max took his time pushing his safety glasses to the top of his head. He focused his gaze on her, silently staring, probably constructing his response to what she suspected was going to be a big blow off. Then he’d probably tell her he had everything under control. Not that she was an expert in it, but that was probably man speak for I don’t know how to deal with this emotionally, so I’m not going to.

  “Because, as you said at Thanksgiving dinner, you don’t like family drama any better than I do.”

  “Ah.” Haley pounced. “So it is family drama.”

  He took off his gloves and put them on the sawhorse behind him. “It’s the situation with Hugh.”

  “Oh.” Haley lightly touched his forearm. “I’m so sorry.”

  “He’ll be staying with our parents until he finds an apartment. Dad formally offered him a management position at the coffee shop, effective today.”

  “But there’s only one management position and you’re—” The truth dawned on Haley.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Max shrugged. “I was only working there to help out until Dad recovered.”

  “It does matter. You’re the one who’s been here for your family when Hugh took off. Everyone knows you worked hard to take care of everything. And they’re just going to take that from you? That makes me so angry. You’re a much better man.” Haley frowned as her own words sank in. Max the Loyal. Max the Giver. Why didn’t I see that before now?

  “It’s not a big deal.” Max picked up his gloves and headed toward the gear storage area. Each employee had a labeled bin where they could store their equipment until needed. His was as messy as hers was neat.

  “Yes, it is.” Haley waited while he put his things away, then reached into the bin and neatened everything.

  He heaved a sigh.

  “I’m taking you to dinner tonight,” she said.