The Kiss List (Love List)

by Sonya Weiss

He paused in the act of removing his safety glasses. “Why?”

  “Because…because…” If she said her heart hurt for him, he’d turn her down flat. If she told him she was developing feelings for him, he’d run. “We’re friends,” she said firmly.

  “Is that so?” He put the glasses in the bin.

  “Definitely. I’m going to take you out for the best inexpensive meal you’ve ever had.”

  Max grinned and shrugged into his coat. “I can pay for our meal.”

  “I know you can, but I insist. I may be a cheap friend, but I’m a paying friend nonetheless.”

  Max laughed and held open the front door for her. Haley walked outside ahead of him. “How about we go to Moon and Stars? They have those garlic-and-rosemary french fries. Huge portions.”

  He nodded. “Sounds good. You want to ride with me?”

  “Of course. There will be rush hour traffic. You’ll need a good side-seat driver.”

  Max arched a brow. “Rush hour traffic in Cherry Creek? That’s like a Loch Ness Monster sighting. No one would believe it if they didn’t see it with their own eyes.”

  Haley climbed into the passenger seat of Max’s car. She sneaked a glance at him as he drove. Then another. Followed by a full-on stare. Drinking him in, feature by feature. Max Gallagher. Hotter by the minute.

  Not just because of his looks and toned body but because of who he was beyond that. A good man. Honest. Caring. She wanted—badly, according to the thumping of her heart—to be with him, and she had to stop trying to fool herself. Friendship doesn’t have a thing to do with what I feel for Max.

  Her thumping heart did a painful skip.

  “Oh no,” she whispered aloud without meaning to. She’d been lying to herself about Max for years. Her head told her that falling for Max was the stupidest thing she could ever do. And she hadn’t even recognized when it had happened. How observant am I?

  Now what? Her heart answered and told her that now, finally, she’d truly come home.

  …

  “You’ll put someone’s eye out if you throw the dart like that,” Max said, nudging Haley’s arm up. The wait for a table at the restaurant was going to be at least half an hour after they’d put their name in, so they’d walked over to the bar across the street from Moon and Stars.

  It had been on the tip of his tongue to refuse her invitation to dinner. Being around her would lead to trouble—the heartache kind. He hadn’t wanted it. Hadn’t planned on it. Couldn’t have believed it would ever happen. But he’d fallen for the last woman he’d ever imagined he’d give his heart to. The world-ending moment today when he’d realized why it was that he couldn’t stop wanting to be around Haley—wanting to hear her laugh, wanting to talk to her, to root for her, to be there when she needed him—had made him drop the cup of coffee he’d been holding. He’d broken his favorite mug too.

  After messing up two projects because he couldn’t concentrate, he’d finally talked to Craig about what was going on and explained his stance on the partnership. Haley had almost busted them doing it.

  In the office, when he’d dug the splinter out, he’d questioned if she was sure she wanted to go through with the plan—having him set her up with Scott, the last guy on her list and, according to her, her soul mate by process of elimination.

  Her quick and emphatic yes had been all the answer he’d needed. Her feelings toward him were not the same as his for her. So he’d let go of thinking that maybe the two of them could be more. He’d stop wishing for what he wanted for himself and wish her happiness with the man she chose. The not-him guy.

  “Like this?” Haley asked, interrupting his thoughts.

  “No, let me show you.” Max stepped close. “Loosen your grip on the dart a little. Keep your arm at ninety degrees.” He adjusted her arm.

  She glanced at him.

  “Okay?”

  “Um…perfect. Now what?” Her voice dropped to a whisper.

  “Now…you…uh…sight the dart and just…follow through.”

  “Sounds easier than it is,” she said.

  “It takes practice.”

  “Got it.” Haley looked away, and Max could think clearly again.

  She let fly with the dart and missed the target. The pointed tip dug into the wooden beam by the game. “Guess the Force isn’t with me tonight,” she joked. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes sparkling.

  Beautiful temptation. Max retrieved the dart. “Try again.”

  A whistle cut through the air. “Haley Bowman, you sure are looking good.”

  Max turned to face the man who’d called out the greeting, and his heart squeezed. Scott Landon. On the ride to the restaurant, Max had debated whether or not he’d be able to follow through on calling him to set him up with Haley. Looked like the decision had been taken from him.

  The other man wrapped Haley in a bear hug and spun her around. “I heard you were back in town, and I’ve been meaning to come see you but had to fly down to Florida to help my grandparents. I’d love it if we could grab a bite. I’ve missed you like crazy since you left.”

  “Oh…um…well…Max and I are going—”

  “No, it’s okay. Why don’t the two of you have supper together?” Max looked at Scott, the meant-to-be guy. “If you can make sure she gets home okay?”

  I will let go because this is about her, for her. Please take care of her. Don’t hurt her. Or I will grind you into sawdust.

  “Sure.”

  Scott looked more than pleased at the idea. Max disliked the guy but had no reason for it other than that Scott obviously liked Haley. Max turned to leave, striding away from them. He had to get out of there. Away from what hurt to see. He hated that they looked good together. Like they belonged.

  “Hey.” Haley darted around Max to stand in his path. “What is this? You and I had plans.”

  He glanced over his shoulder at Scott. “He’s the last one on the list. The soul mate, right? As your friend, I can’t let you pass up an opportunity that could lead to your goal.”

  Long pause. She looked up at him with those incredible eyes, and he wanted to hit his knees and tell her he was a liar. He could let her pass up the opportunity. But that would be selfish of him, and he couldn’t rob her of the chance to find what she obviously wanted too.

  “You’re sure you want to leave?” She sounded uncertain.

  “I do. Call if you need me.” He walked out, hating every step that took him away from her. In his car, waiting to start it, the cold did nothing to clear his head, to help him see he was making the right choice by walking away. Through the window, he saw Scott lean toward Haley.

  He started the car and drove away. How dumb can I be? Falling for the woman I’ll never be able to stop loving. Who I’ll never be able to end up with.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The rush of the holiday season was in full swing. Haley barely had enough time to eat and sleep. She was working ten-hour days at Bowman’s while at the same time trying to juggle last-minute details to help Suzie with the wedding before she left with Eddie. Her cousin gave new meaning to the word “bridezilla.”

  Then, there was Max. Never far from her thoughts, though he’d kept his distance since the night he’d walked out of the bar and left her with Scott. Her ex was a nice guy. Funny, too, and he didn’t care about the video. He’d made it clear he was on her side and was even interested in pursuing a relationship with her.

  Only she was interested in pursuing Max.

  Haley let go of the saw handle and pushed her safety glasses up to watch Max carry a batch of sanded pieces toward a table in the farthest corner of the room. Clearly, he was avoiding her. And she didn’t want to be avoided. If she didn’t at least tell him how she felt, she’d always regret it.

  Haley turned off power to the saw and jogged over to him, reaching him as he was turning to go.

>   “Hey,” she said. Brilliant, Haley. “How are things?” Even more brilliant. Heartfelt conversation like this will make it easy for him to pick up on how I feel.

  “Hey. Are you prepared for the party tonight?” he asked. Clearly his heart didn’t leap at the sound of her voice the way hers did for his. He showed no outward reaction to her presence, but she was still sure he’d been avoiding her. How was he so good at making everything feel normal between them? She had to believe that things had shifted for him too. Otherwise, she’d never be able to confess her feelings.

  “I am. What about you?”

  Max grinned. “I’m always prepared for Bowman’s ugly Christmas sweater party.”

  “You do give ugly sweaters, that’s for sure. Where do you find them?”

  “That’s a trade secret,” Max said smugly.

  Haley pushed a small pile of sawdust around with the toe of her boot. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

  His expression shifted, becoming guarded. “I’ve had a lot to do. Busy. You know how it gets this time of year.”

  “As long as you’re not avoiding me.” Haley bit back a sigh. She hoped there was an emotional reason he was dodging her. She wanted the awkwardness between them to mean something.

  “No.” He looked away. Cleared his throat. Returned his gaze to hers. “How’s Scott?”

  I wouldn’t know—I haven’t seen him. We’re not dating. He’s not the one I want. You are. She couldn’t tell Max any of that because she didn’t know where she stood with him or if he still saw her in the same light. She wished she could just come right out and ask him, but she was afraid of what his answer might be. Haley forced a smile. “He’s good.”

  Max put his hands in his pockets. “That’s…great. I’ll, uh…get back to work. See you tonight.”

  She moved closer. “Hold on a second. Dad and I are caroling this weekend with some of the residents from the senior citizen home. You want to come with us?”

  Max stopped, his face unreadable. “I can’t. Hugh won’t be at the house, and I promised Mom that Wynne and I would help her decorate the tree.”

  “I can hardly believe it’s only a week until Christmas. What’d you get for me?” She winked. Only teasing. She didn’t expect him to give her a Christmas gift. He never had before.

  “A hard time,” he quipped. “You for me?”

  “The same. Only I gift wrapped mine.” It was so easy to slip into their usual banter. Didn’t that mean something?

  He nodded like that was a wise choice. “Presentation is everything.”

  “Then I’ll see you tonight, and may the ugliness be with you.” Haley backed away, keeping him in sight until she was forced to turn around to walk lest she fall. She’d already worked hard creating a sweater that was perfect for Max.

  She’d found a green one in Max’s size in her father’s old giveaway stash. The rule of the party was that each sweater had to be a recycled one so that each employee only had to spend money on the garish decorations. Using felt, Haley had created a fire-breathing dragon that took up most of the green. She’d used a meltable stitching material to iron the words “Merry Christmas” in red in the middle of the fire.

  Beside the dragon, she’d put a singed tree decorated with gaudy baubles and, underneath the tree, presents that were wisps of smoke. On the fireplace mantle behind the dragon, she’d glued rows of stockings filled to the brim with coal.

  At home later that night, she stood at the kitchen table and finished wrapping the sweater in tissue paper, then placed it in a gift box. She wrapped it in shiny red holiday paper and put a big silver ribbon around the box. Then she got out the second gift. The one that had made her think of Max and laugh the moment she’d seen it online.

  The hooded sweatshirt with the Pittsburgh Steelers logo across the chest was perfect for him, especially since they were her favorite team and his team’s rivals. She smiled as she imagined him giving her the no-way look.

  “You about ready to leave?” her father asked as he walked into the kitchen and set his empty coffee cup in the sink. “I have the party food loaded in the truck.”

  “Just finishing up Max’s other gift.” She stopped. “What?”

  “Your smile gets bigger when you say his name.”

  Haley pressed her hands against her cheeks. “I have feelings for Max,” she said, shooting him a look.

  Craig laughed. “Took you long enough to admit that. I knew it before you ever left for California.”

  She lowered her gaze to fiddle with the bow, straightening and smoothing it. “But I’m not sure he feels the same. Or anything at all, for that matter, about me. What if I tell him how I feel and it’s not reciprocated?”

  Her father put his hand over hers to still her movements. “You strike out every time you don’t get up to bat.”

  “I know, Dad, but…I feel overwhelmed and breathless and scared and—”

  “In love,” he said gently. “Those are all normal emotions.”

  In love? With Max? In love! But… “What if it doesn’t work out?”

  “That’s a possibility. Forget all about Max. Wait until you meet the man who comes with a 100 percent guarantee. I heard they’ll be on sale at Tilton’s after the holiday.”

  “You should take up counseling. That advice is so spot on.” Haley picked up the gifts for Max.

  “I know. I’m a fount of wisdom.” He smoothed his hair and put his hat on.

  “You do like Max, right?” she asked as they got into the truck.

  “He’s a good man. On board with giving me grandkids. I asked him, and he said about six would be fine with him.”

  Haley rolled her eyes. “You did not.”

  He chuckled. “No, I didn’t.” He slowed as they drove closer to the town center where the ten-foot Christmas tree was lit up. A light snow fell on the rows of ribbon and all the ornaments. The giant cherry at the top of the tree as a nod to the town’s namesake never failed to make Haley smile.

  She and her parents would stop and take pictures of the tree every Christmas Day when they joined the townspeople to go skating on the pond at the Stowe family farm.

  “Every year she’d talk about the best gift she’d ever received,” her father said quietly.

  “And said it was always me,” Haley murmured, finishing the thought for him. Her voice choked. “Dad…”

  “I know, honey.” Her father sighed. “I know.”

  Peace swept over Haley, and she knew that she’d made the right decision in coming home. Here, where her roots ran strong and deep, was where she belonged.

  Her father drove silently, with Christmas carols playing softly in the background. After he parked in front of Bowman’s, Haley got out and began carrying in the trays.

  Within seconds, employees joined her, laughing and chatting about the party and excited about the bonus checks her father always handed out on this night. Haley took it all in absently. She was searching for Max.

  He came in through a side door, his hair slightly damp as if he’d stood out in the falling snow for a while. In a red crewneck sweater and Santa hat, he looked festive as he greeted her father. Then his gaze found hers, and he smiled.

  “You’re looking particularly devious. Think you’re going to take top prize for your sweater creation?”

  “You’ll have to wait for the big reveal,” Haley said, loading his arms down with trays of food. “Peppermint brownies and chocolate-fudge cupcakes along with your favorite: fruit cake.” She carried the gifts for Max.

  Max groaned. “I hate fruit cake.”

  “I know. I made you an extra-large one.”

  “I’ll just regift it.”

  “I know that,” Haley said. “I saw you try to flush it down the toilet a few years ago.”

  “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Max admitted. “At the time, the
idea of regifting it hadn’t occurred to me.”

  She gave him a sideways look. “You wanted to spare my feelings? That’s very chivalrous of you.”

  “I am a man of charm and chivalry.”

  “You are,” Haley agreed.

  Max sent her a questioning look as she headed to the kitchen to unbox the holiday punch glasses. He set the trays of sweet treats on the counter.

  “Dad has the punch.” Haley checked outside the kitchen to see him talking to a couple of employees. Now was as good a time as any to go ahead and give Max the sweatshirt she’d bought for him.

  Pulling the box from underneath the ugly Christmas sweater one, she handed it to him. “I have something special for you.”

  “An extra-ugly sweater?” he asked as he took the gift.

  “Open it and see.”

  Max peeled the wrapping paper off and lifted the lid. When he saw the sweatshirt, he laughed out loud. “No way.”

  “I knew you’d love it.” She wanted to tell him then how she felt, but her father walked into the kitchen, followed by a couple of employees, and she lost her courage to ask to speak to him privately. Haley decided she’d tell him after the sweater exchange. That way, if he made it clear he didn’t feel the same, she could make a quick exit.

  …

  The Bowman’s Christmas party was one of the highlights of the holiday season for Max. He enjoyed spending time with Craig, trading stories with his fellow employees, and seeing Haley. He could admit to himself now that it had always been about Haley, even during all the times they’d traded barbs.

  She was the reason he’d looked forward to working here even as a teenager, but he hadn’t been smart enough then to know what was going on in his own heart. For years, he’d thought his response to her was rooted in hate. Now he realized his response to her then was the same as it was now—love.

  “Stop staring at me and open it,” Haley urged, pushing a brightly wrapped box toward him.

  Max opened the box and laughed at the fire-breathing dragon. “This is truly hideous.”

  “I know, right?”

  Taking it from the box, Max held it up and turned slowly, showing it off to everyone at the party.