The Kiss List (Love List)

by Sonya Weiss

  “You’re next.” Max dropped the sweater back into the box and handed Haley the one he’d made for her.

  She opened the box.

  He’d glued a plastic reindeer head to the front of the sweater, and from the antlers had hung Christmas balls, lights, and garlands. Above the reindeer were the words “Merry Christmas, Deer.”

  “I have the perfect spot at the back of my closet for this,” Haley said.

  “You win again, Max,” Craig called out as everyone laughed. He motioned for silence, then said, “Now, the part everyone’s been waiting for: the Christmas-bonus checks.”

  Max admired the way that Craig was generous with employees, even in the beginning years when handing out bonus checks meant taking a smaller salary for himself. Everyone in town knew Bowman’s was one of the best places to work. He agreed with that, but for him, there was also the perk of getting to work with Haley. Even when he hadn’t realized he had feelings for her.

  He got her attention. “Can I see you in private for a second?”

  “Need to give me the coal for my stocking?”

  “Something like that.” He walked to her father’s office, out of sight of the others. “I got you something.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small gift box.

  “If this is alive, I swear you’re dead meat.” Haley took the box.

  “There are no bugs in there; I promise.”

  She slid the bow off, then lifted the lid and gasped. Tears sprang to her eyes. “Max,” she whispered his name on a rush of breath.

  He hoped that meant he’d done well in picking out the small gold Christmas tree with the cherry on top at Cherry Creek Gift shop. He knew that it had been one of her mom’s favorite stores, which was evident by all the cherry-related decor he’d seen in the Bowmans’ home over the years. Before he had time to wonder if he’d done well, Haley flung herself at him.

  He opened his arms automatically to catch her, and the next thing he knew, she was sobbing against his chest. “Hey.” He smoothed the back of her hair down. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I knew it meant something because that was a tradition with your mom and…”

  He took a deep breath. “I wanted to get you something that mattered to you because…because you matter to me.”

  Haley pulled back. “You matter to me too.”

  “I do?”

  “Yes.”

  The strings that anchored his heart in fear and hesitancy loosened. “Really? Wow.” He’d had it all wrong. Not being alone in his feelings…that changed everything. He couldn’t stop the wide grin. “What would you think about going on a date with me?”

  “No verbal sparring? How will we be able to communicate?”

  He laughed. “I think that we’ll just have to say the things we covered up with our sparring.”

  “I think that sounds like a great idea. Tonight’s the night that I’m going ice-skating with some of the senior citizens. Do you want to make it a date?”

  “I’d like nothing better than to bust my butt with you.”

  Haley laughed. “I have to do some stuff for Dad first, so do you want to meet there about seven?”

  “I’ll be there.” He smiled.

  She smiled. “I’ll see you then.”

  “I’ll be the one with the helmet, knee pads, and back brace, looking sexy.”

  “Stop. I won’t let you fall and get hurt.”

  “Same. I won’t let you get hurt either.” Physically or emotionally. He’d do whatever it took to protect her.

  …

  Christmas lights wound through the trees surrounding the outdoor ice-skating rink, their brightness cutting through the evening darkness. On the left side, a hot chocolate stand did a brisk business. Beside it, another booth rented out skates.

  Max patted his gloved hands together to brush off the snow, then turned away from watching couples on the ice. As soon as he glanced toward the parking lot, he spotted Haley making her way toward the rink.

  She walked beside Celeste and laughed at something the older woman said.

  His pulse raced. Time slowed. The rink and all the people disappeared. Haley’s smile, the way she tucked her hair behind one ear, the way she moved, the way her eyes lit up when she saw him, made warmth flow through his body.

  “Hi, you,” she said when she reached him.

  “Hi, yourself.” Had he always grinned this wide? Had the air always been this crisp? Had the future always looked this bright?

  “No helmet or knee pads, hmm?”

  “Nope. I decided to trust that you won’t let me get hurt.”

  Haley touched the front of his jacket over his heart. “I won’t.”

  They put their skates on, and Max stood, taking a second to find his balance.

  “C’mon. You can do this.” She held her gloved hand out for his, and they stepped onto the ice.

  Max followed her lead and wobbled once but quickly regained his balance.

  “You didn’t skate as a kid?” she asked.

  “I preferred baseball to just about anything.”

  She linked her arm with his and skated slowly by his side. “It’s easy once you get the hang of it. And I’m a great teacher.”

  “You are.”

  “I could teach you a lot, you know.”

  Max concentrated on not bumping into another couple. “Yeah? Like what?”

  “How to organize a wedding when the bride-to-be is absent, how to make cookies—wait, did that one already.”

  “Maybe I need more cookie lessons.”

  She sent him a sideways glance. “I think that could be arranged.”

  They skated until they were too tired to go around again. As Max made his way over to one of the benches and sat to take off his rental skates, he said, “Not bad for a beginner, huh?”

  Beside him on the bench, she leaned toward him. “You were actually pretty good. Only two near misses.”

  “And those weren’t even that bad. I only saw my life flash before my eyes once.”

  Haley laughed.

  Max didn’t think he’d ever get enough of her sweet laughter. “Winter Wonderland is open tonight. Do you want to take one of the horse-and-buggy rides to go see the holiday lights?”

  “Continue the date?” She touched the back of his hand. “Am I growing on you, Max?”

  “I think it’s safe to say that’s been happening for a while.”

  She flushed and bumped his shoulder. “I would love to go. I haven’t been in years. But I want to change my clothes first.”

  Max rose. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  The snowfall grew heavier, and Haley looked up at the sky. “I know some people don’t like the winter, but I love everything about it. The hot cocoa, the snow, the hustle and bustle of shoppers, the—”

  “The soft peppermint sticks, the holiday decorations, sliding down the hill by Bowman’s on your sled…” His voice trailed off. “I know you, Haley.”

  She stopped at her car and loaded her skates into the trunk, then turned to him.

  His breathing quickened. He wanted to kiss her, but not now. Not with all these people around. He wanted it to be perfect for her, and he didn’t want to say something stupid like he had during the cookie making. “You were there…” What was I thinking?

  “So…” she said.

  “So…” he said at the same time. “Sorry. You go first.”

  “I was just going to say that I’m having fun.” She raised her brows.

  “Yeah. This is good.”

  She frowned and opened the car door. “Okay, then.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to kiss you,” he spoke in a rush, feeling like he was an awkward teenager on his first date.

  “Ah, I see. Kissing—something else you need me to teach you,” she teased.
/>   He gave her a look.

  Haley laughed.

  “I want our next kiss to be beautiful. Like you.”

  She swallowed and pretended to dab at the corners of her eyes. “Geez, Max. Way to ruin a woman’s makeup.”

  She’s doing that thing again where she uses humor to deflect. “I meant it. I’ll get the horse and buggy and see you in a little while.”

  “I’ll bring blankets.”

  “I’ll bring a thermos of hot cocoa.”

  “With—”

  “Marshmallows,” he said before she could finish. He held the door for her while she slid behind the wheel and started the car. Then he stuck his hands in his pockets and waited while she drove off. He was looking forward to what else the night held.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Haley quickly refreshed her makeup and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Since it was cold out and riding in the horse-drawn buggy would make it even colder, she kept it simple so she could wear the knitted hat one of her aunts had made for her. After she finally chose a sweater from the dozen she’d tried on over her turtleneck shirt, she heard her father let Max into the house.

  Max Gallagher. Never in a million years would she have ever imagined that he was the man who would make her heart beat hard and fast. The one she imagined kissing without end. The one she could picture a future with.

  Whipping open her bedroom door, she stepped out, glad the date wasn’t over yet.

  She briefly registered that Max had changed into jeans and a thick cable-knit sweater before she locked eyes with his. “A beautiful kiss.” That’s what he’d said, and she was on board with that idea.

  “Am I too early?” he asked softly.

  “No, it’s… You’re right on time.”

  Her father looked at her, then at Max. “Well, I’ll get my coat. I reckon I should be plenty warm enough if we all huddle together.” He laughed and slapped Max’s shoulder. “You should see your expression. I’m kidding. The cold is not a friend to these old bones.”

  Haley laughed and leaned up to kiss her father’s cheek. She picked up the blankets she’d set out earlier. “See you later, Dad.”

  Outside, the driver stood by the buggy and swung open the door to allow them to climb aboard.

  “Hot chocolate as promised.” Max said, hefting a thermos. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  She snuggled closer with the side of her thigh touching his. “After we make the first loop around the light show, I’ll probably be ready.”

  Max set the thermos at his feet. He glanced at her, then out the side at the passing houses, then back to her. “Warm enough?” His leg jiggled up and down.

  “Yes.” She looked at his leg. “Are you cold?”

  “Ah…no.” He exhaled heavily. “You know what? When you and I are sparring, I usually don’t have any trouble thinking. I know what to say, how to react. That’s our familiar ground. This?” He indicated her, then himself. “It’s…tough.”

  “Tough?” Butterflies danced in her stomach. The air grew heavier. They were on the brink of something big. She could sense it and decided she’d start by saying what was on her mind. “Knowing what I do now, I’m glad that my kiss list didn’t work out the way I thought it should.”

  “I have a confession to make,” he said sheepishly. “I was hoping that they would fail.”

  “You were? Why didn’t you say something when we were at the bar and Scott walked in?”

  “Because it’s difficult not knowing where you stand with a woman.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Well…guys…we hope and dream, too, you know.”

  “Okay?”

  “We get scared, we get stupid, we cry when we hurt and pretend that we don’t and uh…”

  Haley put her hand on his face and gently turned it toward her. “It’s okay, Max.”

  He looked at the sky, let out a breath, and then looked at her again. “You ready for that beautiful kiss?”

  Haley laughed. “One of many to come, I hope.”

  Max wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer as he bent his head. He gently touched his lips to hers.

  She kissed him back, holding onto the front of his sweater, never wanting it to stop.

  She’d never known love could feel like this. A hesitancy, a surety. Serenity and storm. The flicker of a flame. A raging inferno. Max, the last man in the world for her.

  When at last they separated, Haley said, “Just like you promised.”

  They went around the displays twice and drank hot cocoa, but Haley couldn’t have said what she saw or what the beverage tasted like.

  When the night finally ended and it was time to go home, Haley still wasn’t ready for it to be over.

  Max walked her to the door but wouldn’t come in. “I won’t want to leave,” he admitted softly.

  “And I wouldn’t want to let you go.” She leaned up and kissed him.

  “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  Haley went inside, looking forward to work more than she ever had before.

  …

  At work the next morning, Haley tossed aside the third piece of wood she’d ruined. She couldn’t concentrate, and it didn’t help that she was working on a new ornament pattern. There would always be last-minute shoppers hoping to find something special for their tree or to give as a gift.

  She stretched her arms out and flexed her fingers. “I will not think about Max.”

  “Well, that’s too bad. He’s thinking about you.”

  She whirled around and pushed her safety glasses to the top of her head. “I didn’t hear you get back.”

  “Your dad and I finished dropping off the load sooner than I expected.” He picked up one of the damaged wood pieces. “Am I wrecking your concentration?”

  “Yes, and don’t smile about it.”

  “Wouldn’t dare. Let me help.” He guided her back against his chest and slowly moved his hands down her arms. “Close your eyes.”

  Haley did.

  “Open your hands.”

  “If this is one of those visualization things, I suck at that.” Something solid landed in her palm.

  She opened her eyes. “Chocolate. You are officially my superhero.”

  Max pulled a stool up next to her station as she unwrapped the bar.

  “I wish they sold these in town.” She angled it toward him. “Want a bite?”

  “No, I’ll just taste it on you.”

  Haley flushed, feeling like she needed to be on the naughty list this year, and leaned forward. She kissed him, then pulled back when one of their coworkers passed by talking on a cell.

  “I made brownies for you. They’re in the car.”

  “Mmm…I love your brownies.” He kissed her, lingering for a moment. “You want to stay in and watch a movie tonight?”

  “Great idea. Dad’s going to be with Celeste, so why don’t you come over?” She snapped her fingers. “I’m out of popcorn.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll stop and pick some up. I told Wynne I’d drop off some milk, so I’ll head to your place as soon as I do that.”

  “You have to go away where I can’t see you,” Haley said, giving him another quick kiss. “Otherwise, I won’t get my work done.” She felt like humming.

  She’d been wrong. Max was her soul mate all along. Maybe she should go ahead and let Suzie know Max needed to be on the invitation list as her plus one…

  “I’m gone.” He grinned at her, watching her while moving backward.

  “Max!”

  He trampled a coworker’s foot. “Sorry, man.” He shot Haley a look.

  If her heart got any fuller, surely it would burst. Letting out a happy sigh, she returned to work.

  …

  Max sang sappy songs all the way to the g
rocery store after work and he didn’t care if he looked like a fool. He wished everyone he saw in the popcorn aisle a Merry Christmas. He was a walking, talking advertisement for a Hallmark movie. The small-town guy gets the girl again. He grinned at his own cheesiness, paid for his stuff, and headed to his sister’s house.

  He knew something was wrong the minute he stepped into the foyer, carrying the milk. “Are you okay?”

  “Max, wait. Don’t go into the kit—”

  Too late, he realized Wynne had tried to give him a heads-up.

  It took Max a second to recognize his brother. Before he’d left town, Hugh had looked practically gaunt, and now Max knew it was because the guilt had made his brother lose his appetite. Now Hugh had put on some weight and looked happy.

  But as soon as their eyes met, Hugh stood, and his eyes widened. Then filled with tears.

  Max hated that. He didn’t want to feel sorry for his brother. He needed to hold on to the anger and use it like a shield to keep the pain of Hugh’s actions at bay.

  “I didn’t know you were coming over. I’m sorry,” Hugh said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so very sorry. I was an idiot. I made a mistake that I can’t take back.”

  Max was stunned into silence.

  Hugh stepped closer. “I miss you, Max, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m asking anyway.”

  The ripping agony of his brother’s betrayal sliced through Max, and nausea built in his stomach. “I can’t do this.” He deposited the milk on the counter and turned around to leave.

  “Wait!” Hugh cried out. “Please try, if not for my sake, for the sake of my son.”

  “What?” Max looked at Wynne, who looked as stunned as he felt. “You have a son?”

  At just that moment, Max’s gaze swung to the other person in the room, whom he hadn’t even noticed before then: an obviously pregnant Annalise. It wasn’t that he still loved her, but he’d once imagined forever with her. He’d thought they’d raise a family together, and now she was here. And she was expecting his brother’s child.

  “Annalise is due in a couple of weeks. We moved back to town because I want to be around everyone again. I don’t want to rob my child of knowing you.”