Chance (Rusted and Reckless Book 1)

by Charlotte Casey

  “Whaaaa? She didn’t even say goodbye? What did you do?”

  Fell deep into like with her. Hard like. A hard, lustful, happy like. “Nothing. She just wanted to go.” Fuck. Was that his voice? He sounded like a depressed Emo middle schooler.

  Jason came around the couch and clapped him on the shoulder. “Wanted to rip the goodbye off like a Band-Aid. You ok, though?”

  “Yeah, just want to get on the road again.”

  Lies. But no one questioned him.

  “Then let's get to it,” Sawyer said coming out of his room. “Time to move on, boys.”

  Doubtful, very doubtful.

  Chapter Ten

  For Greer, the last two weeks had been in a special kind of hell. The kind in which sleep lost its restorative powers, fruit loops lost their sweetness and music lost its beat. The only bright spot in this otherwise misery filled existence were Aveline’s calls, texts and video chats. The connection they felt only grew with the distance between them. Every state, every city brought them closer together while also pulling them apart.

  He was pretty sure he was going to hop the next flight out when they made it to Portland and go and see her. He’d have about five hours with her before he had to be on a plane back but at least he would see her, hold her.

  Kiss the hell out of her.

  This was exactly why he never bothered to find something serious. Relationships drove him mad. Greer was a physical guy. He needed physical confirmation and affection. From little things like holding hands and hugs to more involved declarations like sex, he needed to feel that physical connection to stay sane. It had only been two weeks and already he was at his limit.

  “Where’s Greer?” Sawyer asked outside of his bunk.

  “Moping,” Jason answered.

  They were three hours outside Portland. Sawyer had been in the back bedroom on the phone with their manager for the last hour. More bullshit about Nix and finding a replacement. What their label didn’t understand is that they were all prepared to walk if they forced the issue. They would break their contracts and lose all their money in a heartbeat.

  “I’m not moping,” he said loud enough for them to hear.

  “Then why are you sitting in the dark?” Rory chimed in from the bunk across from him.

  Greer pulled back the curtain that separated him from the bus. “I was tired of looking at your sorry ass.”

  “Lame,” he said not bothering to look up from the book he read.

  Yeah, it was pretty lame but Greer was so deep in Mopetown that lame was about the best he could do.

  “Well, I got some news that should at least get you to smile or some shit,” Sawyer said as he slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Seriously dude, you’re vibes are bringing us all down. She’s at home, not dead. If you don’t cheer the fuck up I’m going to have to call Aveline and ask for your balls back, and if she can spare it, your dignity too.”

  He flicked him off but didn’t say anything. The man was absolutely right. He was pussy whipped.

  “What’s your news?” Jason asked from the table.

  “After Portland, we are going home. Seattle had to cancel their two shows. Venue issue. We’ll make them up at the end of the tour but that means we get a few days off. Five days of freedom.”

  There were hoots of excitement and sighs of relief from everyone. Greer did neither. He pulled the curtain closed again and called Aveline.

  “I have two minutes,” she said in lieu of a greeting. “Go.”

  “What are you doing this weekend?” he asked as excitement began to bubble in his chest.

  “Working. I finally got a few shifts from Vino’s. The last two weeks were slim pickings as far as hours went. I don’t know if it’s punishment for taking off or if they really don’t have the hours to give but I might have to start looking for another part-time job.”

  “You work too much as it is,” he said surprised at this bit of news. Two jobs, school and care giving left little time as it was for them. He’d never see her if she picked up another job.

  “And yet I’m still broke. Why are you asking about this weekend?”

  “Cancelled shows. I’m going to be home,” he said as nonchalantly as possible.

  The disappointment in her voice was hard to bear because he was feeling it too. “Oh. Well, damn. If I’d have known yesterday I wouldn’t have asked for more hours but I can’t give them up after the fuss I made.”

  “I just found out or I would have told you. It’s fine. We’ll see each other another time.” The lie sounded weak, even to him.

  “This sucks,” she stated and he agreed. It did suck. It sucked very much.

  “I can come out to visit you,” he suggested knowing she would shoot it down.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. My mom and my schedule…we wouldn’t see each other much.”

  The excuse was one she had made before when they talked about getting together after the tour was over. Either she was embarrassed of him or her mom, but regardless she didn’t like the idea of her worlds colliding. They were so new yet that he didn’t feel right arguing about it.

  “As opposed to not seeing each other at all? You know I don’t care. I just want to see you for however long I can.”

  Aveline sighed. “I’m sorry, Greer. I have to go. I’ll call you when I’m done with my shift.” She didn’t wait for an answer as someone in the background told her to get off the phone and hung up.

  “Fuck,” he muttered. Greer knew full well that everyone on the bus heard the conversation. Not ready to deal with their bullshit remarks, he decided to call the only other woman he wanted to see when he got home.

  “Hey Momma.”

  “Hey baby, how are you doing?”

  Fun fact, Greer was a total momma’s boy.

  “Good. I’m going to be home this weekend.”

  There was a hooting of laughter. Now that was the reaction he had been hoping for from Aveline. At least someone was happy he’d be home. “Well that is the best dang news I’ve heard all day.”

  Her happiness was infectious. It filled a small dent of the hole that Aveline’s rejection made. She had perfectly legitimate reasons for not being able to see him, he just didn’t like them.

  “Now what do you want me to make for dinner. Oh! Stupid question. Steak fingers and gravy. It will pair well with Jamie’s corn fritters.” She made a happy little hum. “I’m so happy both my boys are coming home on the same weekend.”

  “What are you talkin’ bout momma?”

  “Oh, I didn’t get the chance to tell you but your brother gets released tomorrow. He’s comin’ home to stay with us until he gets on his feet again. Greer, I gotta tell you, I think this time did it. He sounds like a new man. He’s clean. He looks healthy. Jamie’s got this glow about him.”

  She seemed so happy that he hated to burst her Jamie bubble but it had to be done. “He’s not Momma. You know, deep down that Jamie will never be clean. If he’s not usin’ then he’s sellin’. Whatever he told you is a lie.”

  “Now hush you. I’m not as naive as you and your Daddy think I am. Jamie can pull some fast ones but I see more than I let on. I just have more faith in my children than either of you. Jamie can do it if he wants too and I think he did it. I saw him last week and he is healthy. He’s gained weight and his smile is honest and happy.”

  Greer sighed. He didn’t feel like fighting it. Let her believe whatever she wanted. Jamie was not his problem.

  “Ok, Momma.”

  “He’s asked to speak with Daddy when he gets home. Has some things he needs to say and apologies to make. Jamie knows he did wrong in the past and is trying to make it right. I reckon he’s going to want to do the same with you, Baby.”

  Now that was not something he cared to have any part in. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

  “Greer Alexander McQueen,” she started in the voice that every child dreads. “I raised you to have forgiveness in your heart. I’m not saying you m
ust share your life with him and be best friends but I do want you to hear what he has to say with an open mind.”

  “Momma,” he groaned. He had gotten the forgiveness line a few hundred times growing up. It was a favorite of hers along with “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” and “You can get glad in the same britches you got mad in.”

  And then she said the four words that no son can ever turn down. “Do it for me…”

  Well, fuck. “Fine.”

  He could hear the smile through the phone. “That’s a good boy. Text me when you’re free for dinner.”

  “Ok Momma. Love you, bye.”

  “Bye, Baby.”

  No Aveline and now he had to see and talk to his brother. This weekend sucked already.

  His curtain pulled back and he found all three of his band mates starring at him. “Now what?” he groaned and rolled out of his bunk. Rory and Jason moved so he could get to the fridge and grab a water. None of them looked happy. Which happened to coincide perfectly with his mood.

  “What?” he said again, this time letting his attitude get the best of him.

  “Jamie’s out?” Jason asked.

  “Tomorrow.” He fucking knew it was going to be about this. No privacy on a bus. He would kill for four solid walls right about now.

  “You ok?”

  Jason was the only one who actually looked like he cared. Rory was more interested in the drama and Sawyer was in his silent anger mode. The man could hold his tongue and wait for the perfect moment to strike, and when he did, they all got bit.

  “Fucking fantastic.” Apparently, Greer’s sarcasm function wasn’t broken. He walked over to the small couch and sat. He held the cold bottle of water against his heated skin.

  “Your mom spouting off his praises again?”

  “What do you think?” he snapped.

  “Hey,” Jason said holding up his hands in surrender. “Not the enemy here. Do you want company at your parent’s?”

  Greer didn’t want to think about any of it right now. What he wanted was a drink and something to hit. “No. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not,” Sawyer injected. “He’s going to use your parents and come after you.”

  “No shit.” Greer would have liked nothing more than to walk out the door and go for a run. He needed space but would be given none. The perils of living on a bus. When Sawyer opened his mouth next, Greer didn’t even need to see him to know exactly what bullshit was about to flood the room. Instead of listening to it, he stood and pushed passed the guys right into the back bedroom.

  Sawyer pounded on the door as he flicked the lock.

  “Let him be,” Jason said. “You heard him, Aveline’s working and now this shit with Jamie…he needs time to cool off.”

  “Lecture him later, Boss,” Rory added.

  The talking moved away from the door and Greer was left in his desired solitude.

  Unfortunately for him, he’d been horrible company lately.

  *****

  “I know I pushed for the hours but something came up. Yes, I’m sure. Not the whole weekend, I’ll be home tomorrow but if you could cover tonight that would be amazing. Really? Thank you. Ok. Bye.” Aveline hung up the phone and sat back in her chair with a grin on her face. She knew it would be easy to find someone to take her shift, everyone was fighting for them these days. Her boss would inevitably give her crap tomorrow about the shift change. Aveline did fight hard to get the hours this weekend. There was no doubt that she needed the money but Greer was home and as much as she needed the money, she needed to see him more.

  Calling, texting and emails were just not cutting it anymore. After spending a long weekend with him, she had thought that going back to how things were would be fine, it’d be easy. She had been terribly wrong. The problem was, now she knew what she was missing. Before she could only guess at what it would be like to be with him but now that she knew she didn’t want to go back to this long distance friends thing.

  If that meant she wanted something more serious, then so be it. It didn’t fit into her schedule right now but she didn’t exactly fit into his either. They could be misfits together.

  Plus, the disappointment in his voice when she told him that she had to work just about killed her. Aveline knew that she had to at least try to see him. If it didn’t work out then she knew she did as much as she could.

  But as it turned out, things were working out. Aveline figured she could afford to have a nurse for one night. If she left within the hour then she could be at Greer’s house by six. That would give them the evening and the morning to figure out what it was they had and what they were going to do about it.

  Plus, have lots of sex.

  As she began down the list of co-workers to call, Rob had been packing up an overnight bag. It had only taken her two calls before someone snatched the shift.

  “You are good to go, Baby girl,” Rob said coming into her mom’s room and dropping the bag on the floor. “Janice will be here shortly. I’m sorry I can’t help out more tonight.”

  “Oh shut up, you are allowed to have a life too. Go see the show with Q. I know you two have been looking forward to it for weeks.”

  Rob had been causally seeing a man for a few months now. But in the last few weeks things had begun to get more intense and Rob thought that they were going to make it exclusive tonight. He offered to cancel his plans but Aveline would have none of it. She’d pay for an overnight nurse even though the cost would wipe her out until payday.

  “What’s Greer doing today?”

  Aveline sat on the edge of the bed and rearranged her mom’s blanket. “Family thing. Jason assures me he will be home by the time I get there.” There was a small but solid ball of guilt in her gut as she talked about her plans in front of her mom. She should be here with her. She should be considering her care as a priority. But Aveline had a taste of what it was like to be free from under the unsettling weight of responsibilities and it felt good. Her mom would be cared for tonight and it would be by a great nurse who knew them, but it still wasn’t Aveline.

  “Should I not go?” she wondered aloud as she watched her mom’s glazed eyes look in the general direction of the TV but not actually focus on it.

  “What? No. Shut up. You are going and you will not feel guilty for living your life for yourself once in a while. If your momma could talk she would tell you the same thing. Don’t even make that face because you know she would not want you doing what you're doing on her account.”

  She smiled. Trust Rob to get to the heart of the matter.

  “I wonder sometimes if she’s even there anymore,” she said looking at the face of a woman who she used to know. That body in bed was not her mom. She had died long ago. What Aveline had instead was the shell of the woman who used to be her mom. “She used to look at me with recognition but now it’s like she doesn’t even see me.”

  His arm came around her in a hug and Rob kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I see her then it's gone. It’s all the more reason to not feel guilty. She wouldn’t want you to waste your life.”

  She sighed. “Ok, you made your point. I’m going.”

  “Good. Now scoot. No need to wait around here when you could be on the road to your man.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Greer walked into his parent’s house with a case of beer under one arm and a large envelope in the other. His mom was at the stove stirring a pot while she held a glass of wine cupped in her hand like she was born with it. He dropped the case off on the counter and went to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

  “Hi, Momma,” he said kissing her on the cheek.

  “There you are!” She turned with a smile, putting down her glass so she could hug him properly. “How is every little thing?”

  “Fine.” He handed her the envelope and watched her eyes crinkle in delight.

  “Such a good boy,” she said patting his cheek before opening the gift.

&nb
sp; It had started when they were just a small town band playing in neighboring cities. Greer would get a postcard from every place they went for her. Back then he had mailed them but now he just saved them up for when he saw her next. He knew for a fact that she had every card he had ever given her in a few scrapbooks somewhere.

  “These are perfect!”

  “They are the same cities as last year,” he reminded her.

  She gave him the “one day you’ll understand” look. “Doesn’t matter. Now did you wash your hands?”

  Greer groaned. No matter how old he became, she still treated him as if he was five and covered in foreign substances. Without another word— because he knew it was pointless to argue— he went to the sink and washed his hands.

  “Where’s dad?”

  “Talking to Jamie,” she said in a forced happy voice.

  Well, fuck.

  “He wants to talk to you next.”

  “Not interested,” he said dryly.

  She sighed. “Now, Greer…”

  “No, Momma. I don’t care what he has to say.” How she could still defend Jamie after all the crap he has put her through in the past was beyond him? Maybe he needed to remind her of the thousands of dollars he had stolen from them over the years, or the countless cars he had totaled. “It’s all a lie anyway.”

  She opened her mouth to counter him when someone spoke from behind him. “He’s right.” It was “someone” because the voice he had come to know as his brother’s was not anywhere near the sound that was coming from him now. Jamie looked…civilized. He looked healthy. Gone was the drug addled face and greasy hair. His skin was clear and his face had some shape to it. It was the first time in a long time that he saw himself reflecting back at him.

  “Hey Greer, it’s good to see you,” Jamie said with clear eyes and no shake to his voice.

  “Hi,” Greer responded. This was not what he had expected to see. His dad walked around Jamie toward him, a look of timid hopefulness flashing in his eyes. That was not a normal look when it came to his brother.