Forgiven (Book 3, The Watchers Trilogy; Young Adult Paranormal Romance)

by S. J. West

  “So, do you have an answer for me yet?” I asked him. “The wedding is only a week away.”

  Will looked up at me. “I don’t think I can give you away at the wedding, Lilly. I want to make you happy but that’s the only reason I would be doing it.”

  “I wish you would be happy for me.”

  Will sighed. “I wish I could too,” he said, closing the lid of the trunk and leaning back against it. “But, I still think it should be me and you getting married, not you and Brand.”

  “Will…” I began to protest before he held up a hand as if asking me to hear him out.

  “It’s not just because I’ve known you pretty much all your life,” Will said. “But the fact is I could provide you with a more normal life than Brand can. I can grow old with you. I could give you children.”

  “What do you mean? I thought you said your kind couldn’t have children with humans?”

  “Lillith was able to give birth to children from my kind. If you’re her descendent, then that means you should be able to also. Don’t you see how much more sense it makes if you and I are together? You loved me once not that long ago, Lilly. I think you could learn to love me like that again if you gave us half a chance. I would treasure you just as much as Brand. Better probably because I know all of you.”

  “What is it with you and Malcolm today?” I muttered.

  “Malcolm just wants to get in your pants,” Will stated hotly. “I want to see you have a full, happy life. Our motives are completely different.”

  I looked down at the ground no longer able to meet Will’s eyes. His earnest expression just wasn’t something I could handle in that moment.

  “Are you going to at least come to the wedding?” I asked.

  “I can’t make any promises. I haven’t exactly decided if I’m going or not yet.”

  “I want you there,” I said looking back up at him. “You know how little family I have.”

  “I know, Lilly. All I can promise is that I’ll try, even though I think you’re making a mistake.”

  As I watched Will and Malik pull away from Tara’s house in Will’s Honda Accord, I had to wonder if what he said was true. Could he and I be able to have children of our own? I was Lillith’s only remaining descendant. If she could bare the children of Will’s kind of fallen angel, then the chances I could too were very good. At one time in my life, I would have wanted nothing less for myself, but since I met Brand, he was the only one I could see building a future with.

  After the boys left, the girls made me close my eyes as they brought me into Tara’s house.

  “Surprise!” They yelled together.

  “You can open your eyes now,” Tara told me.

  I took a deep breath before opening my eyes, fearing what I might see. I was mildly surprised to find things looked like any normal party. The room was decorated with colorful balloons and streamers; a chocolate heart shaped cake with ‘Lilly –n- Brand’ piped on it in red icing was laid out on the coffee table as well as a couple of presents.

  “I don’t understand,” I said looking around at things, expecting something to jump out at me at any moment. “What was Will apologizing for?”

  “Uh, take a closer look at the balloons, love,” Abby suggested coyly.

  I walked over to a cluster of them tied to the arm of a chair in the living room. Almost every color in the rainbow seemed to be represented. I thought the balloons seemed a bit more transparent than normal ones but was still clueless as to what I was supposed to be seeing.

  “Ok, you girls have completely lost me,” I confessed.

  Tara threw something small at me and I caught it. When I looked down at what was wrapped in the clear cellophane, I felt my cheeks grow warm. It was a red condom. I immediately let go of the bunch of balloons in my hand.

  The girls began to giggle uncontrollably at my reaction.

  “Just thought you might need a reminder,” Tara said with her arms crossed. “I know what can happen if you guys have an accident, and I’m not about to lose you like that.”

  “No, love,” Abby said, sobering up from her giggles. “None of us want to lose you like Angela and I lost our mothers.”

  “You taking those birth control pills the doctor gave you?” Tara asked me like a mother hen.

  “Yes, I’m taking them,” I told them all. “And Brand will be careful.”

  I didn’t think I should mention I had already made Brand promise we wouldn’t use a condom the first time we made love. I knew it wasn’t something he wanted to do, but I also knew he would do anything to make my first time as memorable as possible. I would be on birth control, and I felt sure that would be enough to protect us once.

  After we ate a piece of the red velvet heart cake Tara had made, the girls gave me their gifts.

  Angela and Abby gave me a large box of rainbow colored condoms which I thanked them for and tried not to blush too much as I set aside.

  “This one is from me and your mom,” Tara said, handing me a pink wrapped package.

  “You picked it out together?” I asked, sure I had misunderstood.

  “Yep. Your mom’s been a lot better lately. I guess all this wedding business has made her easier to get along with.”

  After peeling away the pink wrapping paper from the white box my gift was in, I found an ivory colored tulle and satin babydoll negligee inside. Only the underwire bra and little panties were silk, the rest was made out of the transparent tulle.

  “Oh yeah, Dad will like that, love,” Abby said with a knowing nod.

  I quickly put the lingerie back in the box. It felt odd to have Brand’s daughter so involved in my future sex life with her father. Apparently, she sensed my discomfort.

  “Don’t feel like you have to hide it Lilly,” Abby said. “I know my Dad hasn’t been with anyone else since my mom. If you ask me, it’s about damn time he was. I’m just glad it’s with someone who makes him so happy.”

  “I love your father with everything that I am,” I told her, suddenly finding the events of the day slip away from me. All I wanted to do now was go home to Brand and feel his warmth.

  After taking Abby back home, I phased Angela back to Brand’s house and was pleasantly surprised to find Allan still present watching a football game on the big screen TV over the fireplace with Brand.

  “Have you been here all day, Dad?” Angela asked, not trying to hide the complete astonishment she felt from her voice.

  “Yes. Brand was showing me American football,” Allan said, having a hard time taking his eyes off the game to answer his daughter. “I find it quite stimulating in its brutality.”

  Brand came to me and took my packages out of my arms. As soon as he turned back around to me, I pulled him closer.

  “I missed you today.” I hugged him close reveling in the warmth of his body, not wanting to let him go.

  “We should be getting back home, Dad,” Angela said discreetly.

  I pulled away from Brand reluctantly to say goodbye to our guest, secretly wishing they would hurry up and go already.

  Once Allan and Angela phased back home, I phased Brand and I to his bed.

  “What’s gotten into you?” He asked, smiling at my aggressive behavior.

  “Can’t a woman want some alone time with her fiancé?” I kissed his neck, running my hands down over his chest.

  Brand rolled me over onto my back plundering my mouth with his tongue infusing my senses with the scent of him.

  “I like this dress,” he murmured against my lips, sliding his hand up my thigh to just above the hem of the skirt and just below where I really wanted his hand to be.

  I moaned in aggravation. “Could we just pretend this is our wedding night?”

  Brand laughed against my throat as he nibbled his way across my bared shoulder.

  “We’re almost there,” he reminded, slowly pulling his hand away from my thigh. His movement did little to lessen the torturous pleasure of having him so close yet so far away.

&
nbsp; If I’d had my way, we would have made love right then and there. But I made a promise to Brand that we wouldn’t make love until after we were married. It was important to him that we do things right and not tempt God to withdraw His faith in us to follow the right path. Mentally I understood his desire not to go against his father again, but physically all I wanted to do was show the man of my dreams just how much he meant to me in every way possible.

  “Once we’re married,” I said. “You’re going to have a hard time getting out of this bed,” I warned him.

  Brand pulled away from me with a pleased smile on his face. “I think I’m ok with that.”

  “You better be,” I said rolling Brand over onto his back and straddling his hips. “I don’t plan to give you any other choice.”

  Chapter 3After taking what had become a routine cold shower, I went downstairs to find Brand speaking with Malcolm in the living room.

  Brand smiled at me with a hint of amusement on his face. He thought my habit of taking a cold shower after our intimate time was cute. I just found them an irritating necessity. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise to him to wait until after we were married.

  “Malcolm has an idea I think we should follow up on,” Brand told me as I came to stand by the pair.

  I kept my eyes averted from Malcolm not wanting to face him just yet. Our last meeting had left me shaken in my resolve to keep him at arms length. I wasn’t sure how Malcolm was feeling about how we left things, but I could sense his eyes on me seeming to watch my every move even more closely than usual.

  “What is it?” I asked Brand.

  “I may have thought of a way for you to take control away from Lucifer, dearest,” Malcolm answered instead, forcing me to look his way since staring at Brand while he talked would look suspicious.

  “How?” I asked him, grabbing hold of Brand’s hand beside me, needing to feel his touch.

  “King Solomon’s ring.”

  “That was the king who said he would cut the baby in half when two women claimed they were its mother right?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. He was given a ring which gave him the power to control demons, or the rebellion angels if you prefer, and the jinn. If we can find that ring, it may give you power over Lucifer. Since we know he plans to use you in whatever scheme he has cooked up, you may be able to use the ring to at least make sure he can’t possess you.”

  “Where is the ring?” I asked.

  “That’s the problem,” Brand answered. “We don’t know, but I might be able to find the person who does.”

  “Samyaza?” Malcolm asked Brand. “Do you think he will talk to you us?”

  “I doubt he will talk to you, Malcolm. But I might be able to gain an audience with him.”

  “Who is Samyaza?” I asked.

  “He was the leader of the Watcher angels when we were first sent here to Earth,” Brand said. “If any of our kind knows where the ring is, he might.”

  “If he was your leader, why wouldn’t he talk to you?”

  “After our fall, he stayed distant from the rest of us. I think he still feels like he led us all astray and that’s why we have the lives we do. He was close to one Watcher in particular though, his second in command. I know where he lives and can ask him to help us locate Samyaza.”

  “You mean Isaiah?” Malcolm asked. “I haven’t seen him in ages either.”

  “He lives in America. I saw him not so long ago. I think he probably still lives in the same place. Would you mind staying with Lilly for a little while, Malcolm? I should probably go speak with Isaiah as soon as possible. If he doesn’t know where Samyaza is, he might be able to track him down for us.”

  “I don’t need a babysitter,” I protested, not wanting to be alone with Malcolm so soon after our last encounter.

  “I don’t mind, dearest,” Malcolm said, a slow suggestive smile spreading his lips.

  “I won’t be long,” Brand leaned down and gave me a kiss. “And I would feel better if you weren’t alone.”

  Reluctantly, I nodded my head. “All right, if it will make you feel better.”

  “Keep her safe,” Brand told Malcolm like the others life depended on it.

  “I will keep her close to me at all times,” Malcolm promised.

  Brand phased to points unknown, and I turned my back to Malcolm and headed to the kitchen.

  “Would you like something to drink?” I asked him, opening up the refrigerator door to find something for myself.

  “Would the sweet nectar of your lips count?”

  God, and I thought only Brand could come up with those type of lines. When they came from Brand they were sweet with sincerity. Coming from Malcolm they were drenched in innuendo.

  “No, that does not count,” I answered. “We have water and ginger ale. Pick your poison.”

  I felt more than heard Malcolm come stand behind me. He leaned his head down over my shoulder making a pretense to look in the refrigerator.

  “Well now, let’s see,” he said, his breath tickling my ear he was so close. “I guess I’ll take a bottle of water then.”

  Not waiting for me to grab one for him, he reached under the arm I was using to prop the fridge door open and slid his arm against my side as he pulled the bottle out for himself.

  I closed the door not feeling like drinking anything now. I walked to the other side of the large kitchen island trying to put as much of a barrier between us as I could.

  “So, do you really think this ring will help us stop Lucifer?” I asked, hoping to distract Malcolm away from his mission of seducing me.

  “I hope so,” he said, watching my retreat with amused eyes. “Why are you running away from me, dearest?”

  “You know perfectly well why,” I said, feeling my temper start to flare.

  “I’ve never tried to hide my feelings for you,” he said. “You’ve always known that I want you. Why does it make you feel uncomfortable now?”

  I looked down at the granite counter in front of me unable to meet Malcolm’s gaze.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted.

  “I think it’s because you’re starting to feel the connection between us that I’ve felt all along. You’re starting to have feelings beyond friendship for me, aren’t you?”

  I shook my head but couldn’t quite make myself say the word ‘no’.

  “Do you remember asking me if what I felt for you was love?”

  I looked up at him and saw the mask he usually wore fall for the second time that day.

  “Yes, I remember,” I said.

  “I do love you, Lilly. I have since the night we first met and always will.”

  “Why are you telling me this now?” I whispered.

  “Because I think you have a right to know where I stand before you marry Brand. If you love me in the slightest bit, I have to know. I’ll fight for you if I have a chance of winning your heart for myself.”

  I didn’t know what to say. The Malcolm standing in front of me wasn’t the Malcolm I was used to dealing with. He almost always hid behind his sarcasm and wit but now he stood before me filled with raw emotion, letting me see how he truly felt about me.

  “Am I interrupting something?”

  I turned to see Brand standing in the same spot in the living room he had just phased from a few minutes earlier.

  “Did you find him?” I asked, choosing to ignore his question, not knowing how much of the conversation he had heard.

  “Isaiah says he’ll help us. He doesn’t know where Samyaza is exactly but he seems to think he can track him down within a couple of days.”

  “Let me know when you hear something,” Malcolm said before phasing without saying goodbye.

  “What happened while I was gone?” Brand asked coming to stand in front of me.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest.

  “Just hold me,” I begged, feeling tears trail down my cheeks but not knowing exactly what I was crying about.
/>
  Once I regained some semblance of calm, Brand sat me down on the couch. He asked me to tell him everything and I did. Whether it was right or wrong for him to know what transpired that day I didn’t care. I needed him to help me sort through my feelings because they simply confused me. If our marriage was going to have any chance at all, I felt we had to be completely honest with one another about everything. It was hard to admit how attracted I was to Malcolm but it seemed like a moment of embarrassment was worth gaining Brand’s insight into what might be causing it.

  “You’ve always cared about him, against my better judgment” Brand added, remaining much calmer than I expected after everything I just told him. “He means something to you.”

  “But I don’t think it’s love,” I said. “At least not the type of love I feel for you.”

  “There are all different types of love. You just need to figure out which one you feel for him.”

  I leaned in to Brand hugging him around the waist, resting my head against his shoulder.

  “Why aren’t you mad?” I asked. “I thought you might go over to his house again like you did the time he saw me naked in the shower.”

  “That was disrespectful of him to do.”

  “And doing a strip tease in front of me isn’t?” I smiled.

  “That was more an act of desperation.”

  I was surprised to hear the pity in Brand’s voice. I never thought he would feel such an emotion for Malcolm.

  “I think he wants to make you second guess your decision to marry me and the easiest way he can do that is by making you feel attracted to him. I suppose I am a little upset with him for playing on your emotions and hormones, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if our roles were reversed.”

  “Hmm,” I said hugging him tighter. “Would you have done a strip tease for me?”

  I would have paid good money to see that.

  Brand laughed. “I’m not sure I could have kept a straight face through it all. But, if I thought that was the only way I could gain your attention, I might.”

  “I promised Malcolm the night of the Halloween dance that I would spend one day alone with him before you and I married.”