Benjamin

by Catherine Lievens

  “We? As in both you and Delevan?” Benjamin snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

  Delevan sighed and looked at Benjamin. “I have nothing against you.”

  “Of course you don’t.”

  “You slept with Blair before Blair even met me.”

  Benjamin cringed, because yeah, it was exactly as bad as he’d thought it would be. And of course, Lucas was there, because why not? Benjamin’s life obviously wasn’t fucked up enough yet.

  “I still slept with him. That has to be weird,” he said, because he apparently couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

  Delevan grimaced. “Let’s say I do my best to avoid thinking about it and leave it at that. I know Blair had lovers before meeting me. It doesn’t mean I want to think about them, though.”

  “None of the rest of them live in the same house as you.”

  Blair cleared his throat. “We should probably stop talking about this. Why don’t you tell us who your guest is?”

  Benjamin wasn’t sure what would be more painful—talking to Delevan about having sex with Blair, or telling Blair and Delevan the guy they’d been talking about it in front of was his mate.

  Luckily—or not—for him, Lucas took the decision out of his hands. “I’m Lucas, Benjamin’s mate.”

  The way Lucas said the word mate shouldn’t have sounded so sexy, especially not growled like that. Benjamin hadn’t taken him for the possessive type, but then hearing your soul mate talk about having sex with another man would probably do that.

  Blair’s eyes widened and he took a step backward. Benjamin snickered, because Lucas was human and there was little he’d be able to do if a lion and a Komodo dragon attacked him together. Lucas was fucking huge, though, and he towered over Delevan, who was one of the tallest guys in the pride.

  “Well. That’s awkward,” Delevan said, and the tension Benjamin hadn’t noticed was present in the room lightened.

  “Can’t say it’s not,” Lucas agreed.

  Delevan offered him his hand. “I’m Delevan Nash, and this is my mate, Blair.”

  Lucas shook Delevan’s hand. “Nash? As in Dominic Nash?”

  “Yes. He’s my father.”

  Lucas’ gaze flitted toward Benjamin as he nodded. “I think we should probably avoid talking about whatever happened between our mates from now on.”

  “Agreed.”

  Benjamin wanted to protest that he could talk about whatever he wanted, but he didn’t want to make anyone angry, especially not Lucas. He barely knew him, but he could see that while Lucas was a big guy, he was a sweet one. The last thing Benjamin wanted was to hurt him.

  * * * *

  Lucas closed the door after Blair and Delevan had left. That had been one of the most awkward conversations he’d ever had, and he’d had his fair share of them. He wasn’t a people person, and he was socially awkward to begin with.

  He leaned back against the door and looked at Benjamin, who was still sitting up. He looked tired, but Lucas had already learned that pushing Benjamin to do something would result in him doing exactly the opposite, so he didn’t mention resting or anything that had to do with it.

  “So Blair’s your ex?” he asked. They hadn’t talked about it after that first conversation, but Lucas wanted to know. He probably shouldn’t, because it was torture to imagine Benjamin in Blair’s arms, but he supposed it would come up sooner or later since they both lived in the same house. Lucas would rather find out now that he and Benjamin were alone.

  Benjamin snorted and picked at the seam of the comforter. “Not my ex, no. We had sex once, and I thought maybe we could have something, like, I don’t know, friends with benefits or something, but he met Delevan right away. Besides, he really didn’t look that interested after the sex, so I don’t think it would have worked.”

  Lucas felt lighter. “Okay.” He pushed away from the door but he didn’t know what to do. Should he leave Benjamin alone so Benjamin could sleep, or should he stay in case Benjamin needed something?

  “Okay? That’s all you have to say about it?”

  Lucas shrugged. “What else should I have to say? I didn’t think you were a virgin when I met you. Sure, I’d rather not meet any of your exes or one-night stands, but it’s not like I can say anything about your life before meeting me.” He swallowed. “Or even now. We’re not exactly together.”

  They hadn’t talked about it. They’d talked about Benjamin moving in, but it didn’t mean Benjamin wanted Lucas that way. Why would he? Lucas knew he didn’t have much to offer. He was a rancher, spent most of his time with horses. He wasn’t a shifter, was freakily huge and a redhead to boot, although Benjamin was one too, so maybe that wouldn’t be a problem. He wasn’t pretty, or even handsome, and he knew it.

  “Why would you... There’s so much more to you than you let it show, huh?” Benjamin asked.

  Lucas didn’t know how to answer that, so he just shrugged again.

  “Have you had the opportunity to talk about mates with Heath now?”

  Lucas nodded. “Yeah. He explained how it works, more or less.”

  “So you know that being mates means we’re, like, perfect for each other, right?”

  It was nice to think about, but Lucas wasn’t sure it was realistic. Soul mates were a big thing in the human world too, but he’d never believed it, and even after he’d met Heath and found out about mates, he hadn’t thought he had one out there. “How can two people be perfect for each other?” he asked. “What does that even mean?”

  Benjamin looked at him, his head cocked to the side. “Are you sure you don’t want to sit with me? I won’t try to seduce you, I swear.”

  Since Benjamin was still wearing the hospital gown and looked like he could sleep for a week, Lucas believed him. Not that he didn’t find Benjamin attractive, because he did, but attraction took second place to worry at the moment.

  Lucas sat on the edge of the bed, and Benjamin groaned in dismay, but Lucas just leaned forward and undid the laces of his boots. He pushed his boots off his feet and turned, settling next to Benjamin and gently wrapping his arm around Benjamin’s shoulders.

  Benjamin sighed and leaned against Lucas’ side, and Lucas instantly felt more settled, less like he didn’t belong.

  “Trying to explain mates is kind of hard,” Benjamin said. “I mean, the basics are easy, or at least they sound easy. Mates are perfect for each other, you only have one, and once you bond, you’ll both live happily ever after.”

  Lucas snorted. “I’m pretty sure not even mates live happily ever after.”

  “Probably not, but I guess it’s a close thing. There’s a reason why people are mates, after all.”

  “But how does it work? Was I born for you, or did we become mates when you saw me in Dominic’s office, because somehow you could tell I’m perfect for you, or whatever?”

  Benjamin squirmed. “I have no idea. I know some shifters studied it, but like almost everything in our world, it’s not something people talk about. We’re still very divided when it comes to other shifter groups, and I guess the soul mate thing is more romantic than thinking about exactly how it works.”

  Lucas smiled and leaned down, kissing Benjamin’s red curls without even thinking about it. He held his breath, but Benjamin just snuggled closer. “So you don’t know anything more than I do,” Lucas said. He wanted to hear Benjamin talk again.

  “Oh, I guess not. It’s just... something I felt when I got close enough to smell you. That’s when I knew.”

  “Smell me?”

  “That’s how most shifters find out. Nix know by sight, so it’s easier, but we can tell only once we’re close enough to get a good sniff.”

  “Way to make it sound romantic.”

  Benjamin chuckled. “I know. I guess it’s linked with our animal side. You’re perfect both for me and for my fox. You’re the only one who can smooth out my sharp edges, even though you’ll probably get hurt by them sometimes. I know I can be ha
rsh sometimes, and stubborn as fuck.”

  “And mouthy.”

  “Yeah, that too. Being mates just means you know me better than anyone else, and that you can see through my shields.” Benjamin sighed, and his warm breath fanned against Lucas’ neck, making him shiver.

  “I can do that only if you let me,” Lucas pointed out.

  Benjamin straightened and Lucas helped him sit up so that they could look at each other.

  “I know,” Benjamin said. “And you’re the only one I’ll let come this close, because you’re my mate. That means I know you can help me, and that you’ll never intentionally hurt me.”

  Lucas wasn’t sure that was completely true. He understood what Benjamin was telling him, but shifters were human, too. Some of them were assholes, although Lucas hadn’t met one yet. He was sure somewhere out there were men who took pleasure in hitting their bonded mate, and women who cheated on her mate just because.

  He wasn’t that kind of man, though, and he didn’t think Benjamin was either. “I’ll try not to hurt you,” he said, because he thought maybe Benjamin needed to hear it as much as he did.

  “I know.” Benjamin smiled. “Nothing is perfect, and God knows I’m far from it, but I’ll do my best not to hurt you, too. I think we could be good together, but I understand that as a human, you’ll probably need more time than I do to get used to this, and, like, to spend time talking to me and stuff.”

  Lucas grinned. “Are you asking me if I want to be your boyfriend?”

  Benjamin groaned. “Are we twelve again?”

  Lucas’ grin widened. “No, but if that was what you were trying to ask, then yes, I do want to be your boyfriend.”

  Benjamin’s eyes lit up and he leaned forward, but he winced as he did so.

  Lucas frowned and sat up, gently maneuvering Benjamin until he was on his side, his head on his pillow, and his eyes rolling so hard they looked like they were about to fall out.

  “I don’t need you to coddle me,” he told Lucas.

  “I know.”

  “Yet you’re doing it.”

  Lucas stretched on his side facing Benjamin. Only a few inches separated them, and Benjamin shuffled forward, getting closer. Lucas smiled and swung an arm around Benjamin’s waist, pushing closer as well. “I want to be a good boyfriend.”

  Benjamin kissed Lucas’ jaw, sending Lucas’ heart into a frenzy. “You don’t need to coddle me to be a good boyfriend. Quite the opposite, actually. I’ll probably end up hating you if you continue for much longer.” Benjamin put his head on Lucas’ arm and smiled up at him.

  “I just want to take care of you,” Lucas said, his voice soft.

  “I know, and okay, I can admit I feel like I need a bit of love right now.” Benjamin yawned. “I mean, I’ve been stuck in a bed for a week, yet I’m tired as fuck. How does that even work?”

  “Your body needs to heal.”

  “Noem’s been healing me.”

  Benjamin was starting to slur, and Lucas kissed his hair again, just because he could. “You’ve been doing a lot of healing on your own, and the past few weeks have been eventful. Sleep, Ben.”

  Benjamin’s only answer was a soft snore.

  Chapter Four

  Benjamin scowled at Keenan, who was stopping him from leaving his room. “I’ve been cooped up in here for a week.”

  Keenan crossed his arms on his chest. “You’re not going anywhere until Jared comes by and tells me I can let you go.”

  Benjamin threw his hands in the air. “What the fuck is it with you guys?”

  “We don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  “I’m fine. I’ve spent a week in the infirmary and a week lazing around in my bed. Noem came by the other day and finished healing the last wound. I can take a walk in the hallway.”

  “Of course you can. When Jared says so.”

  “I hate you.”

  Keenan beamed. “I love you too, Benji.”

  “Don’t call me Benji. I hate it.”

  “How about Ben, then?”

  The only person who called Benjamin Ben to his face was Lucas, and Benjamin wanted to keep it that way, but maybe if he gave in Keenan would let him go. “Fine, you can call me Ben.”

  Keenan’s smile grew and Benjamin tried to pass by him, but he didn’t budge. “Nope.”

  “Oh, come on!”

  “Still nope.”

  Benjamin gave up and went to sit on his bed. He was starting to hate the thing as much as he’d hated his room in the infirmary. He’d been happy to escape the infirmary a week before, but he hadn’t realized he was only trading one cell for another. He hadn’t seen the outside of his room ever since Lucas had carried him there, and while he wasn’t one to go out much, an entire week sequestered in a room was weighing on him.

  “Who named you guard dog anyway?”

  Keenan seemed delighted by being called a guard dog, and Benjamin shook his head. Some people living in the mansion were weird, weirder than Benjamin was used to. “No one. I just happened to see Jared earlier and he told me he’d be coming by your room sometime today to check on you.”

  “And you decided you needed to check on me too?”

  “Well, if your attempted escape from the infirmary was any indication, I knew you’d try to leave your room before you’re ready.”

  “But I am ready. Seriously. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

  Keenan waved Benjamin’s words away. “Jared is the doctor, not you.”

  “The body is mine, though. I think I know better than anyone if I feel pain or not.”

  “Yeah, well, like last week showed us, you don’t really take pain into consideration when you decide to do something.”

  Benjamin flopped on his back. There was obviously no way for him to leave. Where was Lucas when he needed him? He’d be able to swat Keenan aside like the annoying fly he was and free Benjamin.

  Keenan’s phone rang and he answered, keeping his gaze on Benjamin as if he thought Benjamin was going to attempt something while he was on the phone. It was tempting, but Keenan was still standing in front of the door, cutting off the only way out Benjamin had.

  “Okay, I’ll bring him.”

  Benjamin looked at Keenan, wondering who he was talking to. Keenan hung up and grinned. “Jared asked if you were able to go down to the infirmary.”

  Benjamin was up before Keenan could finish the sentence. “Let’s go.”

  Keenan laughed and finally stepped away from the door. “I thought you’d say yes. Come on. Just make sure you walk slowly and carefully, okay?”

  “I’m fine, Keenan,” Benjamin repeated, not that he thought it would do him any good, but hope was the last to die, right?

  Keenan led the way along the hallway. Benjamin looked around, somehow expecting things to be different. He hadn’t really seen the house in more than two weeks, and after what had happened, he’d imagined things would look different, but they didn’t. Everything looked the same.

  He followed Keenan downstairs and into the hallway that held the infirmary and Dominic’s office, among other rooms.

  Jared was waiting for them, and he gestured at the bed in front of him as soon as they stepped in. “I thought you wouldn’t waste time coming down,” he said, smiling.

  Benjamin hopped onto the bed and pulled his T-shirt off without waiting for Jared to ask. Jared chuckled, but he leaned forward and prodded at the healed wound on Benjamin’s chest. It was the one that had been worst, the one he’d reopened in his attempt to flee the infirmary, but it was fine now.

  “Pain?” Jared asked.

  “No.”

  Jared skimmed his fingers over the scars left by the knife. Benjamin would always have them, but he didn’t really care. It was better than being dead, that was for sure, and the few times Lucas had seen him without a shirt, he hadn’t seemed to mind.

  “You’re good to go,” Jared finally said, and Benjamin resisted the urge to hug
him.

  “Great!”

  “What are you going to do with your newfound freedom?”

  Benjamin put his T-shirt back on. “Go to the library.”

  Keenan snorted. “The library? That’s where you were trying to go?”

  “Hey, I miss that room, okay?”

  “I thought you were going to, I don’t know, have a walk, maybe go into town.”

  Benjamin had to admit it was tempting. “I’d really like to shift, actually,” he said, looking at Jared. Being free to go around the mansion and shifting were two different things, and Benjamin wanted to be sure that he could do it before he actually tried and hurt himself.

  Jared nodded. “The wounds are healed, even the one on your chest. I’m sure your fox will be happy to get out and play in the snow.”

  There were so many things Benjamin wanted to do—shifting, playing around in the snow, eating something that wasn’t soup or broth—and he didn’t know where to start. He almost fell on his face when he jumped off the bed. He reached up, grabbing the curtain next to the bed as he stumbled forward.

  The curtain slid to the side and Benjamin managed to stay upright, but his eyes widened at the sight of the man in the bed in front of him.

  Jared sighed. “Benjamin.”

  “Sorry.”

  The man in the bed was scowling at them, but he also looked afraid. “Who’s that?” Benjamin asked.

  “A hunter.”

  Benjamin blinked and looked at Jared. “Seriously?”

  “Yes. We captured him after the attack.”

  “Why is he still here?” Benjamin had thought all the hunters who’d been captured that day were locked in a cell, but obviously, he was wrong.

  “Dominic wants him to talk. None of the others are, and this one was hit on the head, so I’m keeping an eye on him.”

  “So we’re being nice to them?” Benjamin tightened his hands into fists. He wasn’t going to attack the hunter or anything like that, but the fact that he was there, sharing the mansion with them, sharing the infirmary with the people who’d been hurt when the hunters had attacked, made him angry. Heck, he’d spent an entire week sleeping in a room not far from where the hunter’s bed was, and he hadn’t even known about the man.