Love, Lies & Consequences

by Frazier, Natasha D.

  “Hey, was that your mom on the phone?” Josh asked Tammy as he kissed her on the cheek. She was sitting at a barstool in front of the kitchen island sipping hot cocoa.

  “No, it was Raegan. We didn’t talk long, but I get the feeling that something is up with her.”

  “Is that right? What do you think it could be?” he asked as he took a seat next to her, grabbing his mug of cocoa and taking a sip. “This is some good stuff. What did you do to it? This isn’t just some packaged cocoa mix. What’s the secret?”

  “Nah, can’t tell you,” she said, shaking her head and showing her thinly gapped tooth smile. “I can’t quite put my finger on what’s up with Raegan but I know it’s relationship related. You know how you guys always have us about to lose our minds with your shenanigans. I will find out sooner or later though.”

  “She will tell you when the time is right. Don’t worry about it. If she isn’t telling you something, I’m sure she has her reasons. Don’t you think?” he asked, scooting away from her to stand up from the barstool.

  “Now about this hot cocoa recipe, since you won’t give me the recipe, does that mean you’ll just be making it for me every winter?”

  “You expect me to fly out here just to make hot cocoa for you?” Tammy asked confused. “I don’t think so.”

  “Well, you don’t have to fly out here; you can just wake up and make it, make it when you come home from work, make it when we’re sitting down to have a conversation and relax. It doesn’t really matter, as long as you agree to make it every winter,” he said, pulling a little blue box out of his Nike tear-away pants pocket and simultaneously getting down on one knee.

  “Oh my!?” she whispered through the tears forming in her eyes.

  “What do you say? Will you make hot chocolate for me every winter? Will you be my wife again, Tammy?” Joshua asked as he opened the blue box, showcasing a three carat princess cut diamond ring. She still had the first engagement ring he gave to her but he wanted to give her a new one as a symbol that they were leaving the past behind them and starting over.

  “Yes, I’ll be your wife and make my special hot cocoa for you whenever you want!” she exclaimed, nodding her head. They had talked about the possibility of getting back together but she didn’t know that he would be asking her so soon. Her granny would be so happy and she knew that it would brighten her mom’s day. She couldn’t wait to share the news with her family and friends.

  He placed the ring on her finger. It was gorgeous. She wished that her nail polish wasn’t chipped but the ring was so gorgeous, anyone looking at her hand wouldn’t even notice her unkempt nails.

  ***

  The next day Joshua had a game. Because she was his special guest, she had a floor seat. When she arrived at her seat, she saw familiar faces waiting to greet her—her mom and brother! Josh flew them into town to keep her company during the game. For that, she was grateful.

  The game was going really well and their team was up by twenty-two points. It was an exciting game until the third quarter. Joshua had the ball. He was running circles around the other team when he went up for a slam dunk and came crashing down to the floor. The referee blew the whistle to halt the game because Joshua did not get up off the floor. In fact, he wasn’t moving at all. The emergency team rushed to his side to check on him. They moved his body to a gurney and lifted him away from the floor.

  “No!” she screamed, running onto the floor, breaking all kinds of rules. This could not be happening just as things were starting to go well with them, she thought. The referees tried to usher her back to her seat but she was adamant about being by his side. After she screamed numerous times that she is his wife and she wasn’t going anywhere, they relented. “Joshua, honey, can you hear me?” she asked, her hands trembling as she kneeled at his side. He remained unresponsive.

  Joshua was airlifted to the hospital. She rode along with him but the car she arrived in took her family to the hospital where they were taking him.

  When Joshua and Tammy arrived at the hospital, he was whisked away to receive emergency care. However, she was furious because no one would tell her anything or allow her to see him. All she could do was pace the floor in the waiting area, waiting, hoping and praying that good news would come soon.

  She looked up for a moment and noticed the doctor speaking to a beautiful young woman who was dressed in a black pants suit with patent leather heels. She overheard the woman inquiring about his condition. She immediately walked over to the doctor and the woman. “Excuse me, I’m Tammy, Joshua’s wife. Who are you?” Tammy was surprised at how calm she sounded because she wanted to scream. Why was there another woman at the hospital asking about his condition? And why was the doctor talking to her?

  “Wife? Oh, yes, he told me about you. I’m Megan Smart, his attorney,” she said, extending her hand to Tammy but she refused. His attorney then reached into her briefcase. “I have some documents for you to look over and sign. Please come have a seat with me for a moment, if you don’t mind.”

  “Wait, what? Of course I mind! You’re asking me to sign papers right now?” Tammy was in disbelief. She had no idea what was happening and why she would need to be signing anything when her husband was lying in a hospital bed. “Someone needs to tell me what’s going on,” Tammy said, now fuming. She glanced between the attorney and the doctor, who was now already halfway down the hall.

  “Tammy,” his attorney said, gently nudging her elbow to direct her to a seat, “Are you aware of Joshua’s condition?” Tammy remained standing.

  “I’m so confused. What condition?” Tammy asked, immediately thinking of everything that could possibly be wrong.

  “He has a heart condition called cardiomyopathy,” his lawyer said as she began to fill her in on the details of his condition. Everything else she said was a blur. Her legs began to feel like jelly under her and she had to take a seat. Her mother, seeing the concern and heartache in her eyes, rushed to her side to see what was going on.

  “What’s the matter, baby?”

  “I don’t know. Why didn’t he tell me this? Why is he still playing ball?” she wondered out loud, shaking her head in disbelief.

  “As far as I know, he just recently found out. After learning about his condition, he told me that this would be his last season and he was planning to retire, settle down and support you as you pursued your career,” his lawyer tried to reassure her.

  “Why didn’t he tell me this?” Tammy continued to question.

  “I’m sure he was going to get around to it. He had me draw up several documents for you last week. I’m sorry that we have to talk about this now.”

  “Talk about what? I can’t talk about anything until I find out how he’s doing. Where is the doctor?” she asked, standing and looking around for any person in scrubs and a white coat to return to the waiting area.

  “All I know is that the fall was caused by his heart condition. Listen, Tammy. Look at me. I know you’re hurting and feeling confused, but we really need to talk about his will and power of attorney.”

  “Will? I am not going to discuss anything with you right now. I’m sorry, Megan. I know you’re doing your job but I can’t do this with you right now. I just can’t,” Tammy said, still looking around for someone who could provide information on Joshua’s current condition.

  Just as she finished speaking, the doctor returned to the waiting area and called for Tammy. Joshua was now awake and was asking for her. Immediately running to where the doctor was standing, she asked, “Is he awake? Can I see him?”

  “Yes, he is asking for you,” his doctor said. “Please follow me.” Her feet felt like lead as she followed the doctor down the hall, not knowing what she would see or how serious Joshua’s condition really was. She said a quick prayer as she arrived in front of his door. The last time she was in the hospital, she had to say good-bye to her grandmother; she was hoping that she didn’t have to say good-bye to him too. Taking a deep breath, she entered the hospital
room that the doctor led her to.

  When she entered the room, he turned his head towards the door, reaching out for her. Running to his side, unable to hold back tears, she asked, “Josh, honey, why didn’t you tell me? Are you okay? How are you feeling?” The questions hastily flowed from her lips.

  “Honey, slow down. I’m fine. I was planning to tell you about my condition; I just didn’t think it was too serious. I’m going to take it easy, though. Don’t worry.”

  “Babe,” she said rubbing his hand against her cheek, “you’re going to have to reconsider playing ball.”

  “I know. I am planning to retire this year.”

  “Do you really think your coach is going to allow you back on that court? Do you really think that I’m going to stand by and watch you hurt yourself? It can’t happen. You need to start thinking about early retirement,” she said, as encouraging as she could.

  “I can’t let my team down,” he said. He had plans on helping his team win the championship next year.

  “Your team will not have you if you continue to go out there,” she pleaded with him. “Look at me. I love you and things are starting to go well for us again. I cannot lose you now,” Tammy said, as she sat on the bed next to him.

  Kissing her hand, he said, “I know. You’re right.”

  “I love you,” she said as she heard the door opening. The doctor entered the room to check his vitals. She kissed his cheek and stepped aside so that the doctor could take a look at him. All of a sudden, the heart monitor started beeping frantically. Joshua was having a seizure! She looked back to see his eyes rolling back in his head. “No, no, no, no, no!” she screamed. She rushed back to his side but the doctor grabbed her arms firmly but gently and escorted her outside the door. Nurses were rushing in to help as she stood at the window helpless, watching as they closed the blinds.

  “My God! You have to help him. Please!” she said with tears streaming down her face. The familiar smell of the hospital began to bring back memories of her last moments with her grandmother. As she slowly walked back to the waiting area, her mother rushed to her side when she noticed the tears streaming down her face.

  “Baby! What’s the matter?” her mother asked, fearing the worst.

  “Joshua started having a seizure. I don’t know what’s happening now,” she said through sobs.

  “Oh baby!” her mother said, hugging her tightly.

  “I’m scared, Momma. What am I supposed to do?”

  Her mother looked her square in the eye and said, “You are going to be strong and pray for him, that’s what you’re going to do! It will all be fine. He’s going to need you, Tammy. You are going to have to be there for him, because he will need your help to make a full recovery.”

  “I know, Momma. I know,” she said hugging her mother tightly as they walked back to their seats in the waiting room. “Thank you for staying here with me, Momma. Thank you too, Brother,” she said squeezing her brother’s knee. She was glad that Joshua arranged for them to be there; she had no idea that she would need them right now.

  “Well, we are in Boston. You’re the only person we know out here. Where else are we going to go?” her brother asked, teasing her in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Don’t worry, sis. He’s a pretty strong guy. He’ll pull through it, especially since he has you waiting on the other side of that room.”

  “Thanks,” she said wiping away her tears. Her brother talked her and their mother into going to the cafeteria to get something to eat while they waited. Tammy sent her mother to bring her something back. She didn’t want to miss anything. As they walked away to get some food, she saw Megan again. Fearing the worst, she was finally ready to speak with her about the documents she had mentioned earlier.

  CHAPTER 37

  ∞

  Raegan asked Caleb to make a detour before heading out to dinner. She wanted to change into more comfortable clothes since she was still dressed in what she wore to church. When they arrived at her house, she invited him inside to wait on the sofa while she went to change her outfit.

  She immediately slid off her blouse and skirt and rummaged through her closet and drawers looking for something comfortable, yet pretty. During her search, she came across one of his old university sleeveless T-shirts that she kept. He used to wear it when he worked out.

  She couldn’t believe she was still holding on to it after all of this time. That was what she got for not organizing her drawers as planned this past summer. She decided that she would try it on for a quick second just to show him that she still had it in her possession. She slipped on the T-shirt and stood in front of the floor-length mirror to get a glimpse of herself. The hem of the T-shirt hit right above her knees. Excited about the way she looked in the shirt, she danced in the mirror. Her time in the gym paid off, she thought as she flexed in the mirror, showing off her tightened calf muscles and toned legs.

  Walking out of the bedroom into the hallway, she peeped around the corner to see what he was doing. He had made himself comfortable and turned on the television. Taking a deep breath, she walked barefoot across the hardwood floor into the living room, dressed in only underwear and his T-shirt.

  “I had to get comfortable because it was taking—” Caleb said, stopping mid-sentence when he realized what she was wearing. He immediately took note of her toned legs that seemed to go on for days under the shirt.

  “What do you think?” she asked. “Comfortable enough for Chinese food?” she continued as she twirled around in front of him, showing off the T-shirt.

  Suddenly, his mouth felt dry. She was absolutely stunning. She knows what her being dressed like that does to me. Why would she do that? She may have thought it was harmless but it certainly was not. She just changed his entire mood. Caleb was instantly reminded of sexual encounters they shared in the past. Once they crossed that line when they were together, they always struggled with the issue. They wanted to please God but always found themselves falling short, very short, when it came to sex.

  Caleb thought that he had become strong in this area, especially since he had been able to keep his own commitment to celibacy within the last year. In that moment, he figured he must have been fooling himself because all of the sexual feelings he once shared with Raegan came rushing back and he wanted nothing more than to experience that again.

  Pulling her onto his lap, he answered her question with a kiss. She hadn’t felt a kiss like that in such a long time, ten years to be more precise. Her entire body grew warm with passion and excitement. They both allowed themselves the pleasure of being with one another once again, exploring the passion that bridled deeply inside of them, until they were both satisfied. Finishing off their moments of ecstasy with their mouths caressing each other, Raegan pulled back.

  Again, she had broken her vow of celibacy. But was it so wrong since we really love each other and would likely marry one day? She rationalized. She now knew that she could not even consider marrying Rico but wasn’t so sure how she would deal with the situation.

  “It still looks better on you than it does on me,” Caleb said as Raegan slid off his lap to stand. He buttoned his shirt and fastened his pants. His heart was still racing from the intimate encounter he just had with her. He hoped she knew that he wasn’t after her body but all of her. He wanted her to be his wife and because he had grown spiritually since the last time they were together, that couldn’t happen again. He wanted to wait until they married but she needed to understand that he was a man who was visually stimulated. In order to keep his vow of celibacy, they would both have to agree not to have sex until they were married. She would have to agree not to intentionally arouse him.

  “Thank you. Compliment well received,” she said. “I think I just want to relax and eat pizza now. Is that okay with you?” Raegan asked. She was no longer in the mood to go out. She needed to wrap her head around what just happened. They needed to have a serious conversation to make sure that it didn’t happen again.

  “Anything y
ou want. I will call to order it in. Anything as long as it isn’t supreme pizza, right?” he affirmed.

  “Yes. While you do that, I’m going to take a shower and slip into something comfortable, for real this time,” she said, picking up her underwear and skipping her way back into her bedroom.

  After ordering the pizza, he went to the rental vehicle to pull out one of his bags. He now needed a shower as well and decided that he, too, should get more comfortable. After grabbing his bag, he went back into the house, following the route that Raegan took back into her bedroom.

  “Cami, I need a shower as well,” he said, speaking over the bathroom fan and shower stream. “Do you have another shower that I can use?”

  She directed him to the other bathroom and continued her shower. Just as she was getting dressed, the doorbell rang. Pizza delivery drivers are fast these days, she thought.

  Caleb had left money on the kitchen counter for the pizza. She paid the delivery driver, gave him a gracious tip and took the pizza to the kitchen table to prepare plates for the two of them. She opened the pizza box and noticed that he had ordered her favorite pizza, meatlovers. When they were together, pepperoni had been her favorite but now she was a huge fan of meatlovers pizza. It looked delicious but she decided that she would wait for him to finish his shower before starting.

  Moments later, she watched as he walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She took note of his muscular arms and strong chest. Time had been gracious to him. He was even more handsome than he was years ago. She immediately had to refocus on the food or she was going to find herself in more trouble than she was already in.