Longing

by Chelsea Dorsette

  “Stay away from me!” she screamed. “You have just ruined my life and I will never forgive you for this. How could you have been so careless? Our lives will never be the same again now that you have a baby and the woman you fucked! I want no part of that, or of you. The wedding is off.” Ripping off her engagement ring, she threw it at him and said with a venomous tone, “Here. Give that to her! I wish you both the best.” Turning her back to him she fled down the porch steps. Knowing she had to get away from him as fast as possible she got back into her car, slammed it into reverse and sped away. Doug stood dumbfounded as he watched her car disappear out of sight. As he bent down to pick up the ring she had just thrown at him, tears started to fall from his eyes. The guilt that he felt for wounding her so deeply and for ruining their future together was more than he thought he could possibly bear. He couldn’t understand how it had come to this when everything up until yesterday had been so perfect. He understood that her intense anger was an outward release of shock, hurt and disappointment. He knew he couldn’t let things end this way but he also knew she needed time to sort things out. They both did. As he began his lonely ride back to New Hampshire, he vowed that he was going to do everything he could to try to work something out and make this situation right. There was no way he was going to lose the best thing he ever had in his life and he knew he would rather die than let that happen. He just didn’t know if he would be able to set things right.

  For the next two weeks, Tracy’s life was a nightmare. Doug had tried to call numerous times but she ignored all of his calls. Her anger, which was starting to subside a bit, turned into tears, depression and pain. She went to bed every night crying and sometimes at work she would have to go to the restroom when the sadness and tears started to overtake her. Everyone around her knew something very serious was going on and they all gave her distance and respect. Tracy was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t even muster up the energy to tell their friends and family that the wedding was off. How could she possibly explain it? She was also overcome by profound jealousy. She wanted to be the one to marry him and have his children. The thought of another woman filling Tracy’s shoes and living the life with him that should have been hers was too much to take. She couldn’t believe Doug was a father to a precious baby girl. She had finally taken down the “For Sale” sign in her yard because looking at it only caused her more heartbreak. She knew she needed to call the realtor to take her house off the market but she was in so much grief it was hard to get anything done. The only thing she could do effectively when she wasn’t at work was crawl into bed, curl up in the fetal position and cry. She wondered if Addison had moved in with him yet. She wondered if they were being intimate together. She wondered if he had already fallen in love with Emma. She could picture Doug holding his little daughter protectively and kissing her and cooing silly little things. She knew he would be a great father. She just hadn’t counted on him being a father to another woman’s child. Every night as she lay in bed, she heard her phone bleat out text messages. She knew it was Doug but there was nothing either of them could say to change the situation so she didn’t want to make her suffering even worse by hearing his voice or taking his messages. She just wanted to forget the whole awful situation like it didn’t happen.

  Over the next few days the shock lessened and the fog in her head began to clear a bit. As she sat drinking coffee at the kitchen table on Saturday morning, she rehashed the story that Doug told her. There was something that was bothering her about Addison’s story that just didn’t seem right. It was not the first time her body was nudging her about this, but she kept putting it out of her mind and ignored that niggling feeling. It just didn’t seem right that any woman pregnant with her first child would wait eleven months to approach the father. She knew that Doug’s number was unlisted, so that made sense. She also knew that Doug was very careful about giving out his email address. She also understood about difficult pregnancies because her best friend had gone through that with her first child. As much as it all made sense, it felt like she was missing something. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking? Taking her coffee into the living room, she sat piecing everything together again. As her eyes wandered aimlessly around the room, they eventually fell on her laptop sitting on the desk.

  Suddenly she was hit with a light bulb moment. The laptop! That’s it! That could be the piece of the puzzle that I’m missing! Why didn’t I think of it earlier? Racing over to her laptop, she tapped her fingers impatiently on the desk while she waited for it to boot up. Doug had mentioned that Addison’s last name was Wallace and that she was the spoiled daughter of the former Defense Corp tycoon Frank Wallace. If her suspicions were right, Facebook was going to prove her theory! Logging onto her Facebook page, she typed in Addison’s name and searched for her. Within seconds she was staring at Addison Wallace’s name and her picture. Oh that little bitch, Tracy thought to herself. The girl may have been smart with her story about not being able to get ahold of Doug for all of those months but obviously not smart enough. Tracy knew better than anyone that Doug had a Facebook page. That’s how he contacted her initially! All Addison had to do was send him a message through Facebook. But she didn’t. The question then, was why? Tracy was determined to get to the bottom of this. Knowing that she herself ‘friended’ people on Facebook who she didn’t know or remember, she figured the spoiled Addison Wallace probably did as well. In less than 30 seconds Tracy sent her a friend request with no message. Since it was Saturday, she was free all weekend to keep her laptop online and prayed that she would be “friended” by Addison over the next couple of days. As good luck would have it, Tracy didn’t have to wait more than an hour before she saw that her friend request was confirmed. Instantly delighted, she sat down at the desk and got to work. Now that she was a “friend” of Addison, she had complete access to her pages and all of her online posts. Going to her profile page, Tracy spent an hour scanning all of Addison’s posts from August of last year, when she had supposedly gotten pregnant, to May third when she had the baby. As she read post after post during that period, it was clearer than glass that Addison was not bedridden the slightest bit during that period. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It seemed that little Miss Wallace was having quite the time carousing around the town even while she was pregnant. Her posts showed that she had even bought a new car and spent much of the fall visiting friends in Massachusetts and Connecticut. As satisfied as Tracy was in seeing that she had just blown open the little bitch’s lies, she was also madder than a hornet. What she was putting Doug through was cruel and inexcusable. It was the lowest form of low and she was having no more of her manipulative games. She highly suspected that if Addison was lying about being bedridden during her pregnancy, it was highly probable that she was lying about Doug being the father. Tracy knew what a great catch Doug was. He was fabulous-looking, smart, financially secure and an all around nice and dependable guy. Coming from the background that Addison did, Tracy had a hunch that she was looking for someone to take care of her and to have some eye candy to show off to her friends. And knowing Doug’s personality like Tracy did, she figured even in the short time that Addison dated Doug, she would have figured out pretty quickly that he was an honest, trusting guy and that she could manipulate him pretty easily.

  Fortunately, one quick paternity test would solve the question to whether Doug was the father or not and Tracy didn’t spare a second before picking up the phone.

  Everything seemed to be unraveling for Doug. As he stood in his guest room, he looked around thinking that everything was pretty much set up for Addison and Emma. Addison told him that she already had a crib and some other items which he would help her move. She wasn’t scheduled to move in until next week but he wanted to make sure everything was ready ahead of time. For the millionth time, he just couldn’t fathom how everything had gone so wrong, so fast. One minute he was riding high and about to marry the woman of his dreams and the next he was saddled with a two month old baby and a woma
n he had only dated for a few weeks. Within seven days his home had gone from being on the market with him moving to Plymouth, to being taken off the market with two people he didn’t know moving in. As depressed as he was, he had to do the right thing. That was the way he was raised and his parents would turn over in their graves if he sent Addison and his baby away. His father had always taught him that the true measure of a man was best defined during adversity and that it was easy to take the high road in the absence of challenge.

  Shaking his head and taking a deep sigh, he closed the guest room door and went downstairs to the living room. Looking outside at some wood still needing to be chopped and stacked, he figured that was the best way to release the pent up stress he was feeling and started to walk out the door. Just as the screen door slammed behind him, he heard the phone ring. Although he wanted to ignore it, he was on call this weekend and knew he needed to answer. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath. “That’s all I need now is some damn vacationers setting the park on fire.” Glancing at the caller ID as he picked up the phone, he froze momentarily when he saw Tracy’s name. He hadn’t had any contact with her in two weeks and all of his attempts to reach her had gone in vain. He accepted that she hated him and never wanted to see him again. And he knew his heart would never heal from the pain he had put her through. Hitting the talk button he tentatively said, “Hello,” not knowing what he was going to be faced with on the other end.

  Tracy didn’t even bother with pleasantries. In an excited voice she got right to the point and told him everything she had found out. As she brought him up to speed with the details, Doug could feel his body heat rise as he realized how stupid he was for falling for Addison’s duplicity. He had trusted her and automatically accepted that what she had told him was true, due to the time line and her explainable answers to his questions. What Tracy had also found out by reading her posts, was that Addison had bragged about all of her conquests that summer, both before meeting Doug and after.

  Tracy had no doubt in her mind that Doug wasn’t the father and she told him as much. Encouraging him to confront her with getting a paternity test, he said that he would.

  Wanting to challenge Addison on this immediately, he apologized to Tracy for needing to hang up but that he would get back to her as soon as possible.

  Tracy was every bit as anxious as Doug was, so she was more than willing to let him go so he could get to the bottom of the truth. Excited by the game plan, they both said goodbye and instantly their spirits were lifted in the hopes that Tracy was right. Picking up the phone right away, Doug dialed Addison’s cell phone number. When she answered, he dismissed the small talk and got right to the point. He thought better of saying anything about her Facebook posts because he didn’t want to get Tracy in the middle of it. He knew that if he let it be known that he knew about her posts, she would very likely trace it back to Tracy and he didn’t want trouble for her. Talking to her in a calm manner Doug said, “I’ve been thinking, Addison. Before you move in, I thought it would be a good idea to get a paternity test. It would just make me feel better when I give Emma my last name. Do you have any objections with that?”

  Doug had to smile when he was greeted with silence on the other end. After a few moments, Addison replied in a haughty voice, “I don’t need to take a paternity test, Doug. I told you I wasn’t seeing anybody else during the time we were together. Are you saying you don’t trust me?” She hoped that by sounding angry and hurt that he would back down just like her father always did.

  Playing along with her game he countered, “It’s not about a matter of trust. It’s just a matter of being sure. After all, don’t you want to be sure for Emma’s sake?” Addison knew she was trapped.

  Letting out a huge sigh she said, “OK Doug, fine, you win. Emma is not your kid. I got pregnant after we stopped seeing each other. I just didn’t know what else to do. You were the only guy I dated in the past year who was decent and smart and I wanted to give her the best possible chance. I don’t know who the father is. I was with a lot of men after we broke up. I’m very sorry for lying to you.” With that last statement, Doug heard the phone line go dead and he knew his nightmare had finally ended.

  Chapter Eleven - The Wedding

  Tracy could not have dreamed of a more beautiful wedding day. August was always her favorite summer month and today was picture perfect. Just as she had known it would be, her garden was alive with color and everything was in full bloom. All around her were sunshine and blue skies and a delightful breeze was blowing up the hill off Casco Bay. Her closest family and friends were seated on white wooden chairs that were set up on one side of the garden. Cloth-covered buffet tables were arranged on the other side with appetizers and wine. Her backyard looked so beautiful and festive that she wanted to cry tears of joy. Today she would be married to the most wonderful man she had ever met. She didn’t want to think about how close they came to this day never happening. After Doug told her that Addison had lied about having his baby, not a day went by when she didn’t throw up a silent prayer of thanks for having everything turn out the way it did. She couldn’t help but laugh about the irony of her attitude toward Facebook. She had always felt disdain for social media. Yet it was that very same medium that helped Tracy to uncover the truth about Addison’s duplicity. And because of it, she was now standing with Doug before a minister with family and friends around her saying her wedding vows. Tightly holding his hand, Tracy listened to the minister put life into the beautiful words that she and Doug had written together. She couldn’t help but let a tear slip down her face. She was so moved by what Doug had written for her. Sensing Tracy’s emotion, Doug gave her a little wink and squeezed her hand while the minister continued. With the vows now finished and the rings in place, the only thing left was for Doug to kiss his new bride. And kiss her he did! He didn’t care who was watching! As he gave her a long, sensuous kiss he dipped her backwards and the guests clapped and cat called at the romantic scene unfolding before them. The minister just stood back and smiled, loving the little show between the delightful couple. As Doug straightened Tracy back up again, she feigned dizziness and breathlessness which got a huge laugh from the crowd. With the ceremony now over, the guests left their chairs, stood in line to offer congratulations and then proceeded to the buffet tables for food and wine.

  Tracy had planned an afternoon wedding because they had special plans for the night and they wanted to be by themselves. She had booked their wedding night at the Portland Regency and Spa, located right in the heart of the Old Port. She had always wanted to stay there but never had. She was completely intrigued by the fact that it was originally an Armory and the former home for the Maine National Guard. Since that time, the structure had been transformed into what is now the most luxurious hotel and spa in all of Portland. Sitting just two blocks from the waterfront and a block from all of the shops, the hotel kept the original neo-classical style with alcoves, turret windows and decks so guests could enjoy the magnificent views of Portland’s majestic Old Port.

  They had also made reservations to have their wedding dinner at Twenty Milk Street, the hotel’s highly renowned restaurant. Twenty Milk Street was noted for using only fresh, local ingredients native to the area and all of the reviews she had ever read gave the restaurant high praises. All throughout the afternoon reception, Doug didn’t let Tracy out of his sight. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful in her strapless, knee length white wedding dress. It was so perfect for a summer afternoon outdoor wedding and her bronzed tan only accentuated her feminine curves even more. He couldn’t believe how close he came to losing her and never being able to kiss her luscious lips or feel her satiny smooth skin. He owed everything to her. She had been incredibly smart to figure out the Facebook angle to Addison’s ruse. If it weren’t for her, he would be living with a woman he didn’t like and a child that wasn’t his. Watching her glide over to the appetizer table, he followed behind, swept her up in his arms and whispered, “I am going to do ver
y naughty things to my new bride tonight. As your husband, I am going to make sure your body knows who it belongs to!”

  Grinning broadly Tracy teased, “Oh dear. I don’t know about that. It’s been such a long day. I might be too tired!”

  Loving her spunk, he shot back, “Oh, you’re going to be tired all right! Very, very tired when I’m done with you.” Giving her a swat on her butt he let out a low chuckle and handed her a glass of wine. Indicating that he wanted to toast, he held up his glass and said in a conspiratorial voice, “To tonight, my pet!”

  The Portland Regency was every bit as breathtaking as Tracy knew it would be. They booked the honeymoon suite on the top floor and the views were spectacular. Doug had taken special care to have a huge bouquet of flowers delivered to the room along with a bottle of champagne and fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate. Anything they could have wanted was in the suite including a full bar and even a TV and phone in the bathroom! The four poster king size bed was made up with exquisite linens and the bath soaps and lotions were European. Tracy was delighted when Doug swooped her up in his arms at the suite entrance and carried her over the threshold. She giggled the whole time and found it to be incredibly romantic. Getting out of their wedding clothes, they changed into less formal attire for their dinner reservation. Doug had looked so handsome in his black tux that she hated to see him take it off. She literally had to catch her breath earlier that afternoon when she first saw him. He was quite simply the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on and she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming the whole thing. As Tracy was in the bedroom slipping into a beautiful red summer dress, Doug cracked open the champagne and poured them both a glass. Feeling a bit naughty, she made sure she made sure she didn’t put on any panties. She wanted to tease him during dinner and knew this would be a sure fire way to do so.