Let This Be Our Secret

by Deric Henderson

  Trevor’s father, Jim Buchanan, was confined to a wheelchair for some time before he died in July 2007, aged eighty-four; he suffered from angina. Hazel went to visit him years after Trevor’s death, and even though he was still hurting, he felt he had forgiven her for all the pain and misery. But he never fully recovered. Mrs Buchanan still lives in Omagh.

  Melva Alexander, Trevor’s sister and the youngest in the family, is also regretful and filled with a grief which remains unabated: ‘I would just love to know why. If I knew that Hazel had any remorse or even showed any. But she hasn’t. She carried this for eighteen years … She has robbed me of my brother; wrecked Mum and Dad’s lives; left the children without a dad who would have loved and supported them … The biggest problem at the time was being told that Trevor was in the back of a car with another woman. I have spent eighteen years of my life correcting that statement. I’ve said that to so many people. It wasn’t true. It was bad enough that he took his own life, but there were these horrible stories that he was with another woman … Then you had people telling Daddy that possibly he was changing his mind and wanted to get out of the car. What a thing to tell Dad. That haunted us for another while, especially around the time of the inquest.’

  Gordon Buchanan took charge of the family throughout the investigative and lengthy legal processes following the arrests. They never missed a hearing, no matter how brief, in the run-up to the day Hazel was sentenced. He also insisted on a second Coroner’s Court inquest to make sure the records of the deaths were officially corrected. At that inquest in June 2011, Senior Coroner John Leckey issued a new verdict of ‘homicidal carbon monoxide poisoning’, setting the record straight once and for all. Gordon finds himself tortured by the same questions and feelings as the rest of the Buchanans: ‘… I ask myself how Hazel carried that lie for eighteen years, burdening our family with the heart-wrenching pain of loss and the unanswered questions associated with suicide, while leaving Trevor’s unblemished character vulnerable to innuendo and speculation as a result of the bodies being placed together. When I saw her in court, I thought: “How did you get to such a low point? How could you do such a thing: take your husband away from the children he was devoted to? How could you do that to someone who you presumably once loved and who loved you dearly? Where did it all go wrong? Where did your good upbringing and your faith go?”

  ‘I feel sadness for the legacy she has left others. I feel no pity towards her because of what she did. She carried this cruel, dark secret without, for a moment, even thinking about divulging it. I feel so much sadness that the children did not get the chance to get to know their father better. I know how much he loved them and I know they doted on him. I know they had a wonderful father who looked after them well, guided them well and would have done anything for them. They have been deprived of that. My heart goes out to them. I hope, now that this matter has been settled in court, they will take time to remember their dad and know he was a good man who was proud to be their father.’

  Like other members of the family, Gordon has been determined not to allow his feelings towards the two murderers to develop into a hatred which could consume him: ‘I never knew Howell. There was a family bond with Hazel and she broke that bond. What she did amounts to the ultimate betrayal. Howell is clearly cruel and calculating and I will be forever haunted by the knowledge that Trevor was aware of what was being done to him – in his own bed, the safest place one could imagine … It would be easy to call them names, but I think they have caused us enough pain and taken up enough of our lives without becoming twisted and bitter. Saying nasty things about them would only take away whatever humanity is left in us. Their own actions speak volumes about their character. Trevor’s reputation does not need to be retrieved, because it was never damaged in the first place. His integrity is untarnished. He was an honourable and kind man. He wasn’t a saint and I’m not trying to paint him as one. He was simply a good and decent man who loved his family and his wife … His Christianity was the real McCoy. It wasn’t a Sunday morning thing. It was all day, every day, flaws and all. He was the genuine article.

  ‘What do I think of Hazel? I just need to know why she felt compelled to go down this road. Why did Trevor have to die? Was murder easier than divorce? Was money more precious than the sanctity of life? My deepest thoughts are more to do with the loss of Trevor, but the hurt it caused me and my family, the unanswered questions; why it was done in such a cruel and horrible fashion, more than what I actually think about Hazel as a person.’

  Former associates and colleagues of Howell were stunned by his arrest, and many of them moved quickly to distance themselves from a man they did not particularly like anyway. Mohammad Husban, the young Jordanian who spent three years at his clinic, remains shocked and dismayed, as one of his friends confirmed: ‘He is absolutely shattered. He used to look up to Howell. Howell was almost a father-like figure to him back then, but he cannot believe that he could have been an evil individual, that he could be guilty of such an appalling act. He will never forgive him for what he did. He thinks all the time about Howell’s family and how they are managing, especially the little ones.’

  Hazel Stewart’s son, Andrew, a graphic designer, and her daughter, Lisa McConnell, a nurse, remain convinced of their mother’s innocence. They told friends that the jury’s verdict means they have been punished twice – first with the death of their father, whom they loved dearly and miss so much, and then with their mother’s imprisonment.

  As for Howell’s children, only one – his daughter, Lauren Bradford – has stood by him. His second wife Kyle divorced him in August 2010, after returning to the United States with their five children, Erik, Jorgen, Jensen, Finn and little Susanna. Dylan and Katie, Kyle’s two children from her first marriage, have also left Northern Ireland. Kyle was twice questioned by detectives about Howell’s confession to her in August 1998. She left Northern Ireland in the months following her arrest and has never been back. Police submitted a file to the Public Prosecution Service to consider whether she should face criminal charges. Howell has told the authorities that he would be prepared to testify against her – just as he gave evidence against Hazel Stewart – but at the time of writing no decision to prosecute had been taken.

  Lauren continues to visit her father in prison. At one stage in her life she had a difficult relationship with him, but she is the only one now who has not abandoned him. Lauren never missed a day of Hazel Stewart’s trial and found it a dreadful experience. She could not understand why Stewart, who admitted her role in the murders when she was first questioned by the police, could then put both of the families through such an ordeal by pleading not guilty.

  In a letter to the court before Judge Hart jailed Howell, Lauren wrote:

  I love my father, but I will never understand how he could have done this. He and Hazel have impacted on so many people. All that taken into consideration, I am now grateful that he has done the right thing by pleading guilty to [Lesley and Trevor’s] deaths. I feel like he has finally restored their honour, albeit almost twenty years later. He could have gone to his grave with it.

  I visit my father in prison on a regular basis. Some people may misunderstand this as me being soft, but the only reason I can do this is because of the remorse he showed to me. I initially went to see him so I could try and understand what happened, yell at him maybe and tell him how much he had hurt me. He was the only one with the answers I needed. I never expected to go back after the first few visits, but with each visit, I began to see the reason why he confessed and I believe he is in prison to pay for what he has done. Every time I am there, without fail, there is a moment when he becomes overwhelmed that I am sitting there. And so he should. Almost any conversation I have with him, he thanks me for giving him time. It does not take away from the fact that I hate what he has done to my mother, to me and to all my brothers and sisters, not to mention the Buchanans. There is a divide in our family that may never be mended, and although the main reason fo
r that lies beyond him, it is just another ripple in the whole mess.

  I would not be able to look at my father if he didn’t have the right attitude, remorse and guilt. I am not easily taken in and the only reason I can see him is because I believe his remorse is genuine. I am not writing this to ask for a greater or lesser sentence. It wouldn’t work even if it did. I believe the judge to be a fair man. I just want justice for my mum and due consideration for my dad. I want him to pay the consequences for what he has done. Whatever the judge decides, I will support him and continue to visit him and will always love him. I will probably miss my mum every single day, like I have for the last twenty years and will never get to know the wonderful person that I know she was. But at least I now know the truth and hopefully, one day I will heal.

  Unlike his sister, Dan Howell will not be signing the visitors’ book at Maghaberry any time soon to see the man he now refers to as ‘Colin’, and who once told him: ‘Fear the Lord because He is awesome and His wrath is terrifying.’ The last time Dan spoke with his father was in the Yoko noodle restaurant in Coleraine on the evening of 17 December 2008. His brother Jonny had been at the table as well – the night before the boys left for America with their stepsister Katie and grandfather Sam Howell, to join Kyle and the rest of the family for Christmas. It was here that Howell told the boys of his losses in the Philippines and that he had cheated on their stepmother.

  Dan and his father were never particularly close and, unlike Lauren, he has not been forgiving in the aftermath of Howell’s extraordinary confessions. Dan also sent a letter to the court before his father was sent down. This is what he wrote:

  Colin murdered my mother Lesley sometime during the night of my second birthday. He always said this was because my mother had committed suicide, and as I grew up, I struggled with feeling rejected, believing that my mother wanted herself dead on my birthday, not understanding why she didn’t care. During my childhood, Colin became more and more reluctant to talk about my mother with any of us. We stopped visiting her grave. All contact with her brother Chris was cut. This culminated with us being told we were not to talk about any of what happened among the family. I was denied any memory of my mother as was my younger brother Jonny …

  For all his life, my late brother Matthew had believed his mother left him when he was six and he shared with me the anguish that caused and ways in which he blamed himself for what happened. Colin appeared to have no problem rubbishing my mother’s name and allowing us to believe she was a bad mother.

  His actions have left me without a father, but even more tragically, my youngest brothers and sister, children of Colin’s marriage to Kyle Jorgensen, are fatherless at very young ages. His deceit and selfishness came as a terrible surprise to them. They thought, as young children tend to, that their dad was the best thing ever, and now I notice the profound effect that is having on them. They don’t like to talk about it, but when they do they voice anger as well as missing what they once knew. They have been uprooted from their community and friends.

  When I found out about how Colin had murdered my mother, it put a tremendous strain on me. I struggled to do the work demanded of me in my medical degree. It put a lot of pressure on my closest friendships and it has split the different sides of my family apart, leaving me in the middle to try and mediate between them. To describe this as life-changing is an understatement.

  I have known Colin for all my life and I believe I know him well. He is very intelligent and very good at coming across sincerely. People trust his intentions to be good, despite everything he has done. He is excellent at portraying himself in the way he wants people to see him. Everyone thought he was a model citizen, a success story, just before his arrest – during a time when he was having an affair, and there was the sexual harassment and his involvement in this financial situation in the Philippines, all the while concealing what he had done.

  I therefore believe that no one can ever know if he has truly changed, and therefore he remains a danger to society. It is vital in my opinion that he is in prison protected from society for as long as possible, since he has demonstrated how much harm he is capable of causing and how good he is at concealing it.

  Colin Howell has never seen Dan’s carefully considered and yet deeply emotional judgement of him. If he did, he would no doubt be appalled, as would any father on learning that his own son believes him to be too dangerous and too much of a liability to society to ever be released from prison again. It is an extraordinary assessment.

  But so many things are extraordinary in this barely believable saga. The affair between the driven, ambitious dentist and the bored, dissatisfied housewife was in itself nothing unusual – extramarital relationships happen all the time, of course. What was incredible, however, was the plan Howell conceived to enable him and Hazel to have a future together, and her willingness to be part of a plot which involved not divorce or legal separation, but a double murder – carefully planned and brutally executed.

  Howell and Stewart have been haunted all their lives. They found no real happiness and there will be little or no public sympathy for either of them, especially the self-centred Howell. There is, however, great fellow-feeling for the families so cruelly affected by a merciless man and a callous woman who deprived children of their parents and inflicted untold loss and distress on innocent people. In many ways, it is the love, togetherness and determination of these families to keep the memory of their lost loved ones alive which represent the most extraordinary aspect of all in this tragic human story.

  1. Colin Howell’s Queen’s University, Belfast, student card for 1981-2. He graduated in dentistry the following year.

  2. Lesley Clarke on the day she graduated as a State Registered Nurse at the Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast, where she once won a silver medal for being a top student.

  3. Colin and Lesley Howell on the day they married at Windsor Baptist Church, Belfast, in July 1983.

  4. Lesley Howell joking with two of her bridesmaids at the reception in the Conway Hotel, Dunmurry.

  5. Colin and Lesley Howell photographed together for the last time in February 1991. They attended a function to launch a campaign for a new hospital in Coleraine, and also attended the film Dangerous Liaisons.

  6. Constable Trevor Buchanan.

  7. The landmark row of houses in Castlerock known as The Apostles. Harry Clarke lived at No. 6 and it was in his garage at the back – just days after he died – that the bodies of his daughter and Trevor Buchanan were discovered.

  8. The Renault Savanna car in the garage where the bodies of Lesley Howell and Trevor Buchanan were found.

  9. The last paragraph of Colin Howell’s long and impassioned letter to his mistress on the day of his wife’s burial.

  10. Lesley’s brother, Chris Clarke, with her aunt, Alice Berry. Howell asked Mrs Berry, a teacher from Lurgan, County Armagh, not to come to his home after Lesley’s father, Harry Clarke, died. Chris Clarke suspects Howell murdered Harry as well. Howell denies it.

  11. Trevor Buchanan’s parents, Jim and Lily. Mr Buchanan reached into his son’s coffin, gathered him into his arms and cried out, ‘Why did you do it, son? Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you come to me?’ He died in July 2007.

  12. Trevor McAuley, who shared eight years of his life with Hazel Stewart before she left him for another man, David Stewart.

  13. Colin Howell’s eldest son, Matthew, who died after falling down a stairwell in St Petersburg, Russia.

  14. Valerie Allen, one of Lesley’s bridesmaids, now living in New York.

  15. Derek McAuley, a Coleraine Baptist, who steamed open and then photocopied Colin Howell’s 1991 letter to his lover.

  16. John Hansford, the former Pastor of Coleraine Baptist Church, who has defended his handling of the counselling process involving the two couples.

  17. Melva Alexander, Trevor Buchanan’s younger sister. ‘The biggest problem at the time was being told Trevor was in the back of a car with another woman.
I have spent eighteen years correcting that statement.’

  18. Colin Howell on a night out with his second wife, Kyle.

  19. Just yards apart in Coleraine Cemetery – the graves of Trevor Buchanan and Lesley Howell.

  20. Colin Howell is taken into a police van after his conviction for the murder of his wife and Trevor Buchanan.

  21. Colin Howell’s son Daniel: ‘My father remains a danger to society.’ And daughter Lauren Bradford: ‘I feel like he has finally restored their honour, albeit almost twenty years later. He could have gone to his grave with it.’

  22. David and Hazel Stewart with her two children, Andrew and Lisa. Stewart, a former police Chief Superintendent who was once a staff officer to the ex-RUC Chief Constable, Sir Hugh Annesley, told police: ‘She is a kind and trusting person with a soft nature. At times she can be too trusting.’

  Acknowledgements

  The late Liz Johnston, a former mayor of Coleraine, was the first person I interviewed. It was in April 2009. Her health was failing, but she yearned to know the truth, because Trevor Buchanan, a friend and neighbour, had called at her home just hours before his body was found. Liz died in October 2009 without knowing all the circumstances.

  John Hansford, who was the pastor at Coleraine Baptist Church at the time of the deaths, talked to me at length as a howling wind and driving rain rattled the conservatory doors and windows of his hillside home, overlooking the Mediterranean on Spain’s Costa Blanca.