Course of Action

by Gun Brooke

  Lifting the other, she held it close to Annelie’s lips. “Want the last one?” The suggestive gesture was contradicted by what looked like innocence in her eyes.

  Ignoring her instinctive reservations, Annelie lowered her head and took the berry. Her lips briefly touched Carolyn’s fingertips, and as she crushed the fruit with her tongue, she watched those remarkable eyes widen.

  Annelie did not avert her gaze, and for a long moment the two women stood transfixed, Carolyn’s attention riveted to Annelie’s mouth. Moving slowly, as if unaware of what she was doing, the actress placed a slender, caressing hand over Annelie’s elbow and stepped well within her personal space, leaning in as if to kiss her.

  Annelie could sense heat radiating off Carolyn’s body, permeating the air around her. She could hear the blood rushing in her ears and feel its telltale presence in her cheeks. Not until Carolyn was just a breath away from her lips did she attempt to pull herself together. Mustering enough strength, she managed to withdraw a step.

  “Annelie?” Carolyn’s voice was almost inaudible, her eyes dark and wide.

  Swallowing hard, Annelie found her voice. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

  Their eyes locked; neither woman was able to pull back completely. Annelie tried to gauge Carolyn’s expression. She didn’t seem hurt, but instead surprised and bewildered—stunned at her own initiative. Annelie couldn’t imagine why Carolyn had tried to kiss her. Surely she knew Annelie was gay; it was virtually an open secret. Touched by something completely vulnerable in her expression, Annelie raised a tentative hand, wanting to temper the rejection. But before she could speak, rapid steps announced Mary’s presence and Carolyn sprang back a step.

  “I see you’ve done a great job. Do you want me to bring it in?” the housekeeper asked.

  Annelie immediately snapped out of her daze. “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll take them. Why don’t you bring the coffee, Mary?”

  She did not know whether to give Carolyn a reassuring smile or not, so she lifted the tray and walked out of the kitchen, hearing the actress follow her.

  As they entered the dining room and were swept up in laughter and conversation again, Annelie stole a glance at Carolyn. For some reason, she was sorry to see the vulnerable woman from the kitchen had disappeared. In her stead Carolyn Black, the ambitious actress, once more took possession of the room.

  *

  Mary set coffee cups on a side table while Annelie handed out the chocolate mousse. Jem took the chair next to Carolyn’s, and Annelie resumed her seat on her other side. Carolyn caught her breath at the brush of that lithe body so close to hers. Her heart was still thundering, as if trying to escape her rib cage. The incident in Annelie’s kitchen had caught her off guard.

  What had gotten into her? Only her ability to slip into her star persona had saved her from running away and embarrassing herself further. Standing there with two leftover raspberries in her hands, she’d acted on impulse. Annelie had stood there, her hair like a golden cloud around her narrow shoulders, looking at her with darkening ice blue eyes. I could have sworn she responded to me at first. Carolyn wondered what the publisher was thinking now.

  Having been approached by several lesbians over the year, most of them working in her line of business, she had more or less standardized a way of politely letting them know she wasn’t interested. She used the same technique with most men; she was nowhere near the man-eater some gossip columnist had pegged her to be. Sure, she used her sex appeal when it suited her, but compared to some of her colleagues, she was practically a nun. Is that what I instinctively did? Glancing around the table, she barely kept from biting her lower lip as it began to tremble. She didn’t think anyone noticed.

  Carolyn felt Annelie’s presence next to her like heat radiating against her skin. She had never felt even the remotest attraction toward a woman. How could I possibly find the catty, competitive women I know even the slightest alluring? It’s not like we’re buddies, exactly. Annelie was not a friend, nor was she a colleague or rival. She holds my future. The thought made Carolyn swallow hard and almost forget to smile toward Kitty, who was discussing something with Annelie. Focus. Don’t let them see you lost your footing. Carolyn sighed. Why did I do it? Why the hell did I lower my defenses like that?

  “Oh, chocolate mousse,” the woman across from her exclaimed, interrupting Carolyn’s thoughts. “I’ve loved this since I was a child.”

  “So does my niece,” Carolyn added, trying to find her bearings by willing her thoughts in a different direction. “Pamela loves chocolate, just like I do.”

  “How old is she?” Gillian asked.

  “She’s four, going on forty.”

  “I know the feeling. My best friend’s daughter is just like that!”

  “Pamela is quite inventive and, being an only child so far, she’s used to getting her own way. Once, when she was barely two and I was taking care of her for the weekend, she wanted to go out and play in the sandbox in the park. I told her no, it was raining and we’d have to wait until the sun came out.”

  “I guess this didn’t go down well.”

  “It did, at first. She could see the rain from her window and seemed to take no for an answer.” Carolyn sipped her coffee, pleased to see everyone hanging on her words. Somehow it helped her find her bearings again. “Anyhow, I was doing some ironing for my sister…now, don’t look so shocked, Kitty. I can iron.”

  Ignoring the comment after giving Annelie a half grin, Carolyn continued. “You know how suddenly you realize the house is way too quiet—which normally means the kid, or the pet, in question is up to something. I went looking for Pamela and—speaking of pets—I found her in their cat’s litter box, scooping kitty litter into her little plastic bucket.”

  “Ew.” Jem frowned. “And God knows what else.”

  “Exactly,” Carolyn said. “And, of course, she used her most angelic smile when she looked up at me and said ‘sandbox, Auntie Lyn,’ looking absolutely adorable.”

  The women laughed, shaking their heads as they commented on children and pets they had run into.

  “‘Auntie Lyn’?” Annelie murmured next to Carolyn. “It sounds very cute.”

  Carolyn raised an eyebrow at her hostess. “Don’t even go there.”

  Annelie only laughed. “We’ll see.”

  *

  Annelie waved goodbye to her guests who were returning to their hotel. The cabdriver holding open the door for them watched in bewilderment as the four laughing women seemed to literally take over his vehicle.

  “See you soon!” Annelie raised her voice for them to hear, and they waved back.

  Annelie turned to Jem, who remained by her side, waiting until the cab drove off before walking to her own car.

  “Aren’t they great? I think the luncheon was quite the hit.”

  “It was and, of course, having Carolyn Black as a surprise guest of honor didn’t hurt.”

  Annelie smiled. “No. I thought Sam was going to faint when Carolyn hugged her.”

  “True, but Carolyn only had eyes for you.”

  Annelie had started walking toward the living room where Kitty and Sam were waiting, but now stopped in her tracks. “What do you mean?”

  “It was very subtle but also very obvious, at least to me. I think the rest of them were so enthralled with her presence, they weren’t paying attention. But she couldn’t take her eyes off you.”

  Looking at her good friend, Annelie didn’t know what to say. “Was it that obvious?”

  “Maybe only to me. When you came back from the kitchen, you looked flustered, and she put on quite a show with the story about her niece. Did something happen?”

  “We decorated the chocolate mousse,” Annelie managed, trying to sound casual. “That’s all.”

  Jem’s eyes softened. “I don’t think that’s all, honey, but I won’t pry, ’cause it’s none of my business. I’m just looking out for you. Carolyn wants that part, and who knows what she’s prepared to do to get
it.”

  Annelie winced at the candid words. “I know,” she whispered. “And yet, she has her vulnerable moments, Jem. When she’s just Carolyn and not acting…I’ve seen it.”

  “Just don’t buy into it too much, kiddo. Be careful and think of what’s at stake here.” Jem put her arm around Annelie’s waist and hugged her quickly. “I don’t want you to get hurt—or used.”

  “I won’t.”

  “All right, fair enough.”

  They walked back into the living room where Kitty and Sam looked decidedly sleepy.

  “The jet lag has set in, I see,” Jem remarked. “I think it’s time for me to head home, but I look forward to seeing you in the office Monday before you leave for Orlando, Kitty. I still have three chapters of your latest novel to edit, and I’ll try to finish them this weekend.”

  “Excellent.” Kitty yawned. “I’m honored you’d work through the weekend for my sake.”

  “Not a problem. I’d go with you if I had the time. I may try to visit Disney World after the convention, unless everything goes crazy around the office afterward.”

  “I think we can leave it for Gregory to handle,” Annelie suggested. “You should take a few days off then. I know how you love Epcot.”

  Jem grinned sheepishly. It was a standing joke around the office how much the strong-willed, classy editor adored “the House of Mouse.”

  Sam rose from her slumped position on the couch, stretching and making a face because of her sore muscles.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m off to bed. I’m exhausted.” She gave Annelie a quick hug. “Today was wonderful and Carolyn Black was great.”

  “I second that,” Kitty said, and followed her partner’s example. “She was very nice and a lot of fun to talk to. She honestly seems to like us.”

  Annelie nodded. “I think she had a great time too—she told me so before she left.”

  “Sam smiled. “I can’t wait to tell my mother—she’s also a great Black fan—I’ve actually shaken her hand, talked to her for an entire afternoon, and even had a hug from her.”

  After the two women said goodbye to Jem and left the room, Annelie turned to Jem and shrugged. “Glad they didn’t pick up on any special glances. I don’t want any rumors. If—and I say if—I give this role to Carolyn, it’s by merit only, no other reason.”

  Jem raised an eyebrow. “I hope you’ll be able to tell the difference. Be sure any decision you make is made for the right reason.”

  Annelie knew the other woman was right. “I will.”

  “You look tired too. The luncheon turned into an all-day event. Are you going to get some rest?”

  “It’s too early for me yet. I have some correspondence to take care of, and then I’ll unwind with a glass of apple juice on the patio. It looks like it’s going to be a lovely evening.”

  “I should go home and get started on those last three chapters. I didn’t want to raise false hopes, but it looks like Kitty may have her biggest hit so far. I had to force myself to read slowly and make notes, when really I wanted to plow through the pages and devour the book.”

  “That good, huh?”

  “That good.”

  The two women hugged again, and Jem left.

  Annelie strolled into her study and opened her e-mail, looking for messages marked “urgent.” She wanted them out of the way before the weekend, since she had several things planned with Kitty and Sam. An hour and a half later she turned off the computer, went to the kitchen, and poured a glass of juice, then wandered out to the fully screened-in part of the patio. Sitting down in a deck chair, she inhaled the humid, scented evening air. It was still early, and she had no desire to go to bed yet.

  Carolyn had taken her by surprise in the kitchen. The narrow lips, becoming so full when she smiled, had parted as Carolyn had touched her arm. It had taken all of Annelie’s willpower not to respond to the beautiful woman.

  Annelie thought about Jem’s warnings. She agreed with the other woman’s assessment of Carolyn Black in many ways. Still, Jem hadn’t seen Carolyn when the diva persona left and made room for the real woman.

  She sipped her juice. Maybe that was it. They’d joked around in the kitchen, decorating the chocolate mousse and acting like two friends—not the producer and the actress. Carolyn had offered the raspberry with a truly innocent look in her eyes, and only when Annelie’s lips had grazed her fingertips had the situation altered.

  To watch Carolyn slip back into her part as herself, the diva with an image to uphold, had been like witnessing a miracle. From looking flustered and embarrassed in the kitchen, the actress had swept into the living room as if she had entered a Broadway stage in front of adoring fans and simply owned the situation. She had told her anecdote, her voice steady and humorous, and her audience had swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.

  Still, there had been several moments when their eyes had locked. The fact that the two of them had been sitting almost touching hadn’t helped.

  Annelie had, as a starstruck teenager, followed Carolyn’s career, first as Devon Harper on TV and later as a stage and screen actress. She had never kept a scrapbook, and the small allowance her mother could afford to give her did not provide her enough cash to go and see her movies, except on special occasions. Something about the elegant face with the compelling eyes and the throaty, purring voice spoke to Annelie on so many levels. She suspected it always would.

  Annelie drank the last of her juice and rose. Whatever Carolyn’s motive was for trying to kiss her, it wouldn’t happen again, she was pretty sure. The actress had seemed devastated when Annelie pulled back. Remembering how tired and subdued she looked just before she left, Annelie wondered if she should have offered to pick Carolyn up at the airport when she got back from D.C. on Sunday. Considering it for a moment, she decided that making such an offer might imply she was willing to compromise her principles. Carolyn was bent on getting that reading, and Annelie didn’t want to do it before the convention. That would be asking for trouble.

  She walked into the quiet house and put the empty glass into the dishwasher and continued to the bedroom. Running the shower, she frowned. What could have happened if she’d let Carolyn kiss her? As far as she knew, all of Carolyn Black’s previous relationships had been with men, suggesting she didn’t harbor any authentic interest in Annelie. More than likely, Jem was right to caution her. Carolyn was not above manipulating anyone who stood in her way. She had a solid reputation for being an arrogant star.

  Undressing and stepping into the shower, Annelie closed her eyes, enjoying the pulsating water massaging her stiff shoulders. Despite what Jem said, a strange feeling had existed between her and Carolyn in the kitchen, something almost tangible. She had glimpsed the real Carolyn just for a moment, and she wanted to see her again.

  The water streamed down her body like caressing hands. Chastising herself for indulging in futile fantasies, Annelie reached for the soap and a sponge, then scrubbed her skin until it glowed.

  An annoying voice inside her head kept asking if she was trying to wash away the feeling of Carolyn’s touch, however brief.

  She simply did not know.

  Chapter Five

  Carolyn was relieved that only a handful of people were on the return flight to Miami. She had both seats in first class to herself, and even if the flight attendants’ glances revealed they recognized her, they were professional enough to leave her alone. They probably saw enough celebrities to last them a lifetime.

  Pulling her legs up under her, Carolyn moved restlessly in the seat. She had not slept well during the stay with her sister. Little Pamela had been nothing short of ecstatic to see her and demanded most of her attention. Beth, in turn, looked pale and nauseated most of the weekend, and all Carolyn could do was provide supportive comments about her tenuous pregnancy.

  Late that Saturday, after Carolyn gave up falling asleep in their guest room, she ran into Joe in the kitchen. Her migraine had escalated since the flight on Friday ev
ening and was now close to unbearable.

  “Are you okay, Lyn?” Joe looked concerned.

  “Just need some juice for my pills. I’ll be okay.”

  “Headaches again?”

  “Yes.”

  After a brief silence her brother-in-law walked up to her and put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. “You’re so protective toward Beth, but you’d tell me if something was really wrong, wouldn’t you?”

  Fighting back tears, Carolyn leaned into the brotherly touch, tempted to actually cry on his shoulder. “Of course I would. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Nothing I haven’t handled before in so many different ways.

  “I’ve never seen you this pale and tired,” Joe insisted, his voice kind. “I know this weekend isn’t turning out to be much of a rest. It’s just that Pamela adores you, and Beth…well, I guess Beth will always be your kid sister if you don’t cut her loose a bit.”

  Carolyn gave him a sharp look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Beth’s thirty-four, but I guess to you she’ll always be the baby you mothered from the time you were twelve.”

  Carolyn had swallowed an acerbic retort, knowing he was right. Beth and John had depended on her for motherly affection for so long. Their struggles had strengthened their ties, and when John moved out of the house at twenty-one to go to art school, Carolyn had missed him terribly.

  Carolyn stared wordlessly at her brother-in-law. Wondering, not for the first time, if Beth knew what a treasure he was, she raised her hand and patted his upper arm.

  “I know, Joey, I know. One day, I’ll get around to it.”

  Her half-joking tone of voice had worked. Joe grinned. “Just let me know if there’s ever anything I can take care of for you. Promise.”

  Carolyn shifted in her seat again, affected by the pressurized air. Her temples throbbed, pulsated in painful waves, and not even the nasal spray seemed to work. She had not been able to go swimming anywhere in D.C., but perhaps she could swing by Jared’s, pick up her gym bag, and head for Annelie’s house.