Course of Action

by Gun Brooke

  The thought of Jared, of being under her friend’s knowing gaze, made her recoil and suck in her lower lip, biting down on it hard. He always seemed to see right through her. Jared was her friend and he knew her well, too well, and sometimes he took it upon himself to point out her weaknesses.

  Carolyn sighed. She had a feeling he thought much about her needed fixing. Jared’s clear-sightedness could be unnerving as well. A small voice inside insisted that a true friend accepts you, and likes you, for who you are. But how could he know who I am? Maybe I’m the one to blame. I never let him in completely.

  When they met five years earlier, she had been relieved when all Jared seemed to want from her was friendship. Only then did she begin to relax around him, feeling for the first time in years the budding signs of camaraderie.

  Jared had not been too impressed that her college boyfriend, and later her first and only husband, had “chickened out,” as he called it, because of her circumstances. “Beth and John were only kids,” he’d said. “Where were they supposed to go, if they couldn’t be with you?”

  Carolyn smirked at the memory. She had long forgiven Derek, her first serious boyfriend, for not wanting to be a father figure at age twenty-two. Still, the very young, grief-stricken woman she was at the time felt desperately abandoned and rejected.

  Her marriage to Frank Thorpe three years later lasted just that, three years. After a stormy engagement while filming together during her first feature-film role, they got married. I sure landed on my ass pretty fast after the honeymoon was over. He could never make up his mind. Either I was not at all what he wanted, or I was too much. Turning her head toward the dark sky outside the window, Carolyn felt her tears reach her eyelashes, but she refused to let them fall any farther. I spent three years being lonely. Eventually his ultimatum that she had to choose between him and her siblings terminated the marriage. He knew how I’d choose.

  After that her relationships were short, burned white-hot, but ended before any of the flames reduced her life to ashes again, leaving her feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied. Carolyn had rebounded from one of these—two heated months with a Broadway producer—into a platonic friendship with Jared, and over the years they’d found a comfortable tone between them, which worked as long as he didn’t try to change her too much. Right now she felt his Argus eyes on her, judging her motives and challenging them. It bothered her more than usual, probably since she was at a loss herself over some of her most recent actions.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re now approaching Miami International Airport and will be landing in ten minutes…”

  The plane bounced twice before rushing down the runway. Nausea rose within her, making Carolyn swallow hard repeatedly. What she wouldn’t give to be in the tranquil neighborhood where Annelie lived, stretching out on a deck chair after a long swim.

  *

  Annelie floorboarded it and smiled as the Mustang gave a muted roar. Driving down the busy street toward the on-ramp, she settled against the backrest after switching on a Debussy piano prelude. The soft, romantic music filled the car and toned down the engine. Having spent four hours at the office, she was on her way home to meet her friend Charlotta. They went back many years, at least twenty, Annelie calculated. Growing up in the same neighborhood in Chicago, they had attended the same school before Charlotta had moved to a different district north of the city.

  Annelie frowned while thinking of the hard time her childhood friend had gone through. Charlotta had become ill two years ago and lost her job while recuperating. Then her ex-husband had gained custody of their three children, claiming she was an unfit mother and couldn’t support them. Charlotta had been too weak to fight, too ill to stand her ground, and Annelie blamed herself for not staying in touch.

  She had learned of Charlotta’s situation only four months ago and had convinced her to move to Florida temporarily to regain her health. She had helped her by paying for a rehab clinic and later cosigning a lease for a small, but nice, apartment on the city’s outskirts. Having reached rock bottom, the other woman was beyond false pride. She had gratefully accepted Annelie’s help, desperate to regain custody of her children.

  Annelie knew Charlotta loved her new place and had already begun preparing two small rooms for the children. She was coming over to pick up the last of her things from Annelie’s home that morning, having stayed there several weeks earlier. She would be thrilled with the contract Annelie had in her briefcase formalizing Charlotta’s new position as an assistant at the Nebula Circle. The job would at least end her financial problems.

  Adjusting to the quicker pace on the highway, Annelie thought about the recent meeting with Gregory and Jem at Key Line. Gregory had updated them on all the signed contracts for the upcoming convention and also reported on how well prepared the merchandising was. Apart from the usual photos of the stars, audiobooks, and more third-edition copies of all the Maddox books, he’d also ordered mugs, posters, key rings, and terry-cloth towels, all displaying Key Line’s logo and the Maddox book titles. Then Annelie had disclosed the final evening’s big surprise—three first-edition copies signed by Delia Carlton, first prize in a raffle for Nebula Circle.

  “We’ll take a chartered Lear jet to Orlando International,” Gregory had continued, “and I’ve arranged for shuttles. We all have suites on the eleventh floor, as Annelie requested. Most of them consist of adjoining suites, so we’ll be a close-knit group. I made an additional reservation for Ms. McNeil and Ms. Jordan, so they can join us there, as well as Charlotta Hazelwood.”

  “Did you find out how many guests have booked rooms?” Annelie asked.

  “There are no vacancies. They decided to bring in the adjoining hotel located on the other side of the large mall. The two hotels have booked six floors and are still receiving inquiries.”

  “How many tickets have we sold?”

  Gregory pulled up the numbers on his handheld computer. “All of the all-events passes went as soon as they were released. About 75 percent of the day-only passes have gone. We have a thousand unclassified tickets allowing the visitor to attend certain events, and about half of those are gone.”

  Annelie did some mental calculations. “So, we’ve sold about two thousand tickets?”

  “Exactly.” Gregory beamed. “We’re well past breaking even.”

  “Amazing,” Annelie said. “Well, it’ll be interesting to see what the photos, books, audiobooks, and other merchandise bring in.”

  After the meeting, alone with Jem, Annelie had given a soft sigh and leaned back into her chair, reaching for a glass of mineral water.

  “Some days I feel the responsibility weighing on me,” she admitted when she saw Jem raise her eyebrows. “I haven’t undertaken this much work in quite a while.”

  “And now the pace is full speed ahead,” Jem offered.

  “Yes. Also, I’m nervous about not making the right decision about the movies. I promised Delia and she trusts me. If I choose the wrong person to play Diana Maddox, the whole project could be ruined.” Annelie made a face at her self-doubt. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so gloomy.”

  “It’s okay, kiddo. It’s good to vent, don’t you know that? I wouldn’t want to be the one making that decision. Who would want to make an enemy of Carolyn Black for life?” She laughed at her own joke.

  Annelie didn’t find it so funny.

  “Did she come over during the weekend?” Jem reached for a bag of lime-flavored chips.

  Annelie shook her head. “No, she’s been in D.C. Some family issues.”

  “Ah. Well, I’ve been thinking. I know the suits want Ms. Breathless…” She broke off when Annelie groaned. “Oh, excuse me, Ms. Goodman, to play Maddox, but I’m not convinced. I think Carolyn Black can play any damn role they throw at her. She’s a true chameleon.”

  Annelie knew Jem had a point. Carolyn’s career was proof of that.

  “I’ve never doubted her ability as an actress, but that doesn’t mean she’s right as Maddox.�
�� What if she’s right…and I make the wrong decision, for the wrong reason? Annelie tried to examine her feelings, but merely doing what the experts advised her seemed the most logical way out. Or simply the easiest? No, there was nothing easy about disappointing Carolyn.

  Jem eyed her closely. “Don’t you think you owe her the benefit of the doubt?”

  Wincing at the truth behind her friend’s words, Annelie sighed. “Her contribution to the audiobooks…well, she’s the major reason they’re doing so well.” Voicing this undeniable fact made her reasons for procrastinating regarding Carolyn’s reading seem petty. I’m being unfair. She’s earned it. “Still, I’m against giving Carolyn the role by default, just because of that.” Or because I was once a starstruck teenager who would’ve given my right arm to see her perform.

  “I guess you do need to know a lot more about her before you make your decision. When’s her screen test?”

  Was Jem reading her mind? Annelie sipped her water. “I haven’t scheduled it yet, but I ought to call Parker. Perhaps later today.”

  “All right.” Jem closed the bag of chips and gave a sly grin. “If you ask me, I think she’ll blow everyone away as Maddox. But that’s just me.”

  Now as she drove through the gates, Annelie wondered how she would be able to deal with Carolyn after what took place in the kitchen during the luncheon. She could still vividly picture how the actress had leaned into her, the soft hand on her arm, as the fine lips came closer.

  Once she’d parked in her driveway, Annelie grabbed her briefcase and jumped out. Pushing the thoughts of the beautiful woman out of her mind, she fought to focus on the last-minute things to do before Charlotta arrived.

  *

  The cul-de-sac was filled with cars, blocking the driveway to Annelie’s house. Muttering under her breath, Carolyn drove back to a small parking lot at the beginning of the street and managed to find the last available spot. She opened the door, and the humidity engulfed her as she grabbed her bag from the passenger seat.

  Carolyn pulled the card through the reader and listened to the familiar sound of the gate clicking open. Deciding to go straight to the pool, she took the garden path around the house. As she rounded the corner, Carolyn glanced toward the large windows and stopped abruptly. Annelie was home and stood in a tight embrace, her arms around a petite woman with fiery red hair in a pageboy. The stranger had buried her face against Annelie’s shoulder. Oddly disturbed by the sight, Carolyn stalked to the patio and removed her shorts.

  She was already wearing her swimsuit under her clothes, and she dived into the deep end of the pool without ceremony, swimming half a length underwater.

  As the cool water closed above her, she felt protected. She remained below for as long as she could before she surfaced unwillingly, inhaled deeply, and dived again. Carolyn kept this routine up until she was so out of breath she had to stop and grasp the edge. Pulling herself up with the last of her strength, she sat in the sun gasping for air. Her head pounded, and she cursed inwardly at her treacherous body.

  When her dizziness from lack of oxygen had dissipated, she leaned toward her bag and pulled out her cigarettes. Lighting one, she sucked the smoke deep into her lungs, coughing as it stung her throat. Tears burned behind her eyelids as scattered emotions whirled through her mind. She tried to calm down but failed miserably. What the hell was the matter with her?

  “Carolyn? I walked my friend to the door and didn’t see the Lincoln. Where did you park?”

  The alto voice cut through her tumultuous thoughts and made it possible for her to focus. Glancing up, Carolyn squinted toward the sun. “I parked down the street at the visitors’ parking lot. Your driveway’s blocked.”

  “Yes, I saw that. Charlotta’s cab had problems getting here too.” Annelie sat down next to Carolyn, water soaking the hem of her khaki shorts as she dipped her feet in the pool. “Welcome back. How was your flight?”

  “Okay. I had a couple of seats to myself.” Hating herself for sounding so short, Carolyn put the cigarette to her lips, inhaling deeply again.

  “You look pale,” Annelie observed. “Is something wrong?”

  “I’ll be fine. I guess I’m just tired after spending the weekend with my niece.”

  Apparently not buying into the explanation, Annelie reached out as Carolyn raised the cigarette to her mouth again and stopped her midway.

  “You’re trembling,” she insisted in a soft voice. “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, and you look exhausted. Please let me try to help.”

  Annelie’s voice wrapped around Carolyn like a soothing blanket, yet she still instinctively withdrew, determined to protect herself from becoming too vulnerable.

  “The woman earlier…Is she why you didn’t let me kiss you?” she blurted out, shocked at her own defensive tone of voice.

  “Who…” Annelie frowned. “Oh, you mean Charlotta?”

  “Whoever. I saw the two of you.”

  Obviously she was losing her mind, alienating the woman who held her immediate future in her hands. Carolyn wished she could take the words back, but now her head pulsated with every beat of her heart.

  “Charlotta is one of my oldest friends. I hug my friends, as I’m sure you do too. She came over to sign some papers and to fetch her things. We grew up together, and she’s been very ill. Unlike you, I’m not in a relationship, Carolyn. I just don’t date straight, married, or curious women. It makes life complicated and brings too much heartache.” Annelie’s voice was kind but firm.

  Carolyn opened her mouth to speak, but her voice failed her twice before she spoke the truth. “Jared and I are not a couple. I don’t do happy couples, Annelie.” She fought back the stupid tears and looked down at her cigarette, humiliated by the bitterness in her tone.

  It had not been her intention to reveal anything of herself to this woman, certainly not to appear weak. The actress of a certain age admits her personal life is not exactly fulfilling…what a cliché.

  To compound her embarrassment, Annelie took the cigarette from her and pressed it down into the closest flowerpot. “Have you eaten anything since you came back?”

  “No. I came straight here. I needed to swim.”

  “I see.” Annelie rose to her feet before extending a hand toward Carolyn and pulling her up. “Well, before you do, it might be a good idea to eat something. Mary has the day off, but my omelets aren’t too bad.” She led Carolyn through the door into the guest room. “Why don’t you take a shower? Make it a hot one. You’re still shivering. If you like, you can use the robe hanging behind the door, and then join me in the kitchen. Okay?”

  “All right,” Carolyn whispered, feeling strangely relieved someone else had taken command for once.

  “Good. I’ll start lunch.”

  *

  Annelie arranged some lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers next to the omelets and filled two glasses with ice water. Deciding it was too hot on the patio, she placed everything on the small kitchen table.

  “It smells good,” a throaty voice from the doorway said.

  Annelie glanced up and saw Carolyn hesitating on the threshold, dressed in a gray terry-cloth robe. Her slightly tousled hair was almost dry and framed her pale face.

  “You okay?”

  “Yes, thanks. I used one of the guest toothbrushes.”

  “That’s what they’re for.”

  The two women sat down to eat, and Annelie waited until Carolyn had managed half of her serving before continuing their conversation. “Want to talk about it?” Her voice was noncommittal.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I see you’re not feeling well, and it looks like you’re not at all as rested as you should’ve been after going away for the weekend.”

  “It wasn’t that kind of going away. I had to fly up to D.C. to check on some family matters, and I…” Shoulders slumping, Carolyn laced her fingers into her hair. “I’m worried about my sister. She acted fine around me during the weekend, and yet…There’s som
ething. I don’t know. Perhaps I’m reading too much into it.”

  “You care a lot about her.”

  “She’s fragile right now. I know she’s a grown woman, but she’s the baby of the family.” Carolyn lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “You could say she and her husband Joe are my only family.”

  Annelie thought there was more behind the light words than Carolyn let on. “Families are important,” she murmured, the words leaving a hollow feeling in her heart.

  Carolyn leaned forward, her eyes clouding over with a darker shade of gray. The hurt in those eyes made Annelie’s heart skip a beat. There was a raw, naked pain in Carolyn’s voice that sounded genuine as she spoke. “Yes, families can be everything. I just wish Jared’s family didn’t have to be my concern right now. I’ve got too much on my mind at the time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jared’s parents, sister, and brother-in-law are flying down from Boston. They’re going to be staying with him for a few days.”

  “Sounds a bit crowded.” Annelie fought to sound casual.

  “It’s not that. The condo is big enough. His sister never gives up on wanting to pair us off. His mother, on the other hand, never gives up hoping we never do.” Carolyn sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Right now it’s more than I can deal with. I think I’ll have to return to New York for a while.”

  She has to leave? Unwilling, and perhaps unable, to examine the quick stir of panic, Annelie thought quickly. From a professional standpoint, it would be easier to deal with the casting situation with Carolyn out of town. But I don’t want her to go. Recoiling from her muddled motives, Annelie knew what to do. Sensing she would have to make the offer sound matter-of-fact and logical, she waited until Carolyn had finished her omelet.

  “You know what? I have an idea.” She smiled innocently, extending a hand across the table. “Come with me.”