True Confessions

by P. J. Trebelhorn

  As Sarah listened to the person on the other end of the line, she glanced at Lynn once, but then walked away, her expression one of obvious concern. Lynn assumed it had something to do with Karen, and she reached in her pocket to get the money to pay for her beer. Sarah came back a moment later, picked up the money, and handed it back to her.

  “It’s on the house if you’ll do something for me.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “That was Jessie. She just got off the phone with Wayne, and he was pretty pissed off about the divorce papers. Can you go check on her?”

  “Did she call Karen?” Lynn was already heading for the door.

  “Karen had a late dinner meeting in Seattle, and she’s spending the night there. I’ll get in touch with her, but please call me and let me know that Jessie’s all right.”

  *

  Lynn made it to Jessie’s house as fast as she could and jumped out of the car almost before it completely stopped. Jessie pulled the front door open as soon as she knocked.

  “Are you all right?” Lynn asked. She rushed in and closed the door behind her, taking the time to make sure that both the handle and the deadbolt were locked. She slid the safety chain into place as well.

  “I didn’t mean to make everyone so nervous.” Jessie went and took a seat in the living room, and Lynn followed close behind her. “I hate it when he calls me like this. I really need to get caller ID for the landline.”

  Lynn sat next to her but angled her body so she was facing Jessie.

  “Listen to me. You need to promise you won’t answer the phone again until you do. If anybody needs to get in touch with you, they can call you on your cell.” Lynn’s heart broke a little when she saw the tears streaking Jessie’s face, and she gently rubbed them away. Jessie raised her hand to cover Lynn’s and held it against her cheek, relaxing into the touch. “Did he threaten you?”

  “No more than usual.” Jessie laughed without humor. Lynn hated to break their contact, but she needed to check all the windows and doors to make sure the whole house was locked up tight. When she got to the first window, Jessie spoke again. “I already did that. Everything’s taken care of and, besides, he’s still in Vegas.”

  “How do you know that for sure? Because that’s what he told you?” Lynn couldn’t hide her skepticism. She’d only met Wayne a handful of times and never spent more than five minutes in his presence, but she hated him. Anyone who could put that kind of fear into Jessie deserved nothing less. Lynn continued through the house, then went straight to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

  “Lynn, you don’t have to stay here. I only called Sarah because I was looking for Karen. I just wanted to talk to her.”

  Lynn didn’t respond until she’d returned to the couch. She sat next to Jessie and urged her to lean into her. She tightened her arm around Jessie as she rested her head on Lynn’s shoulder and threaded her arms around Lynn’s waist.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jess. I told you I’ll be here for you whenever you need me, and I intend to follow through. Besides, if I left, I’d never be able to get any sleep because I’d be worrying about you. No matter what arguments we have, or how stupid I behave, I’ll always be here.”

  “I do love you, Lynn. I hope you know that.”

  “I love you too.” Lynn’s voice broke, and she wondered how exactly Jessie meant that.

  *

  Lynn woke when she heard a phone ringing in the distance. She looked for a clock and finally found one on the DVR under the television. It was nearly one in the morning. She glanced down and saw Jessie was sound asleep right where she’d been earlier, holding tight on to Lynn’s waist. The phone stopped ringing, and Lynn closed her eyes again, trying to will herself back to sleep. A few seconds later the phone started ringing again.

  Lynn carefully extricated herself from Jessie’s grip and began hunting for it, finally realizing the sound was coming from Jessie’s purse on the kitchen counter. After a quick glance to see if Jessie was still asleep, she opened it. Her heart tripped when she saw a gun there, right next to Jessie’s cell phone. Taking care to not touch the .38—and not really wanting to think about why Jessie would have it in her purse—she grabbed the cell phone and took it out. It had stopped ringing, but started again while she held it. The display told her it was Sarah, so she flipped it open.

  “Hello.”

  “Lynn? Jesus, I was getting ready to close the place and come looking for you two. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. We fell asleep on the couch.” Lynn saw the coffeemaker was still turned on, and she switched it off. She took another look at the gun before closing the purse and pushing it away from her. “I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

  “I’m just glad you’re all right. How is she?”

  “Scared.” Lynn peeked around the corner to check on Jessie, who had leaned over the other way to rest her head on the arm of the couch. “I was afraid to leave her.”

  “What exactly did he say to her?”

  “We honestly didn’t talk much, Sarah. I wasn’t here for more than a half hour before we fell asleep.”

  “Well, I called Karen as soon as you left here, and she’s on her way back from Seattle, which means she’ll probably be there in an hour or so. I’ll be there too, as soon as I close up.”

  “All right. I’ll let Jessie know.”

  “Thank you for being with her, Lynn.”

  “I’d rather be here than anywhere else, Sarah. You know that.” They hung up, and Lynn decided that maybe she should turn the coffeepot back on. It was probably going to be a long night. She glanced at the purse one last time before heading back out to the living room to wake up Jessie.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jessie opened her eyes when a hand gently shook her shoulder. Looking into Lynn’s sky-blue eyes, she smiled and instinctively caressed Lynn’s cheek.

  “You really are a beautiful woman, Lynn Patrick.” She could get lost in the depth of those eyes, and at her words, Lynn’s pupils dilated, causing Jessie to suck in a breath. She forced herself to sit up when she felt the stirring of arousal in response to the pure hunger in Lynn’s look. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

  “I did too.” Lynn swallowed and took a seat next to Jessie. “Your cell phone was ringing. I answered it—I hope that was okay.”

  “It was in my purse.” Jessie looked away when she realized Lynn had to have seen the gun. “Do I smell coffee? In the middle of the night?”

  “Jess, what did he say to you?”

  “Nothing that he hasn’t said a hundred times before.” She ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to tame it and let out an exasperated breath before she met Lynn’s concerned gaze. “Why don’t you ask me what you really want to?”

  “I have so many questions I really wouldn’t know where to start.” Lynn took her hand and their fingers intertwined.

  “I bought the gun about two months ago. Rick talked me into it.” She absently rubbed her thumb across Lynn’s as she spoke. “He’s taken me to the shooting range a few times, and I’ve gotten pretty good, if I do say so myself.”

  Lynn looked steadily at her, and Jessie fought to not squirm under the scrutiny. She settled back into the couch, and Lynn squeezed her hand gently.

  “Do you need the gun? I mean, do you really feel he’s an immediate threat?”

  “I don’t know, Lynn, why don’t you tell me? He calls me, and if I don’t tell him what he wants to hear, he threatens me. He says he’s in Vegas, but as you so wisely pointed out, how do I really know?” She was venting her frustrations on the wrong person, but she couldn’t help herself. It was so damned tiring to keep it all bottled up, and what choice did she really have when Amber was around? She had to keep up a strong front for her.

  “Come here.” Lynn placed an arm around her shoulders, and Jessie began to cry softly when Lynn urged her to rest her head on her chest. Jessie put her arms around her when Lynn kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m sorr
y. This isn’t your fault, but I seem to be taking it out on you.” Was it foolish to allow herself to feel safe in Lynn’s embrace?

  “It’s okay, baby,” Lynn whispered. “I want to help you, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “You’re doing it.” Jessie sat up and couldn’t keep from focusing on Lynn’s lips. Before she knew what was happening, her lips were covering Lynn’s and she was urging Lynn onto her back. She pulled back for a moment, her breathing erratic. She searched Lynn’s eyes for some sign that she wasn’t welcome, but she knew she wouldn’t see it. Lynn had made it clear that everything was up to her. “I want you, Lynn.”

  “Jesus, Jess, I want you too, so much.” Lynn’s voice was barely above a whisper, but she was shaking her head. “But this can’t happen right now.”

  “Why?” Jessie placed tentative fingers on Lynn’s hip before moving her hand up and under Lynn’s sweater. The muscles of Lynn’s abdomen jumped, and Lynn closed her eyes momentarily. “I want this to happen right now.”

  “Your sister’s on her way here. Sarah too, as soon as the bar closes. They’re worried about you. Karen’s driving back from Seattle.”

  As if on cue, the doorbell rang, then someone pounded on the front door. Jessie didn’t move right away, but stared into Lynn’s eyes, making sure Lynn understood what she was about to say.

  “This is going to happen, just as soon as we’re alone again.” She removed her hand from under Lynn’s breast and winced at the frustration on Lynn’s face. “I feel your pain, believe me. I never knew I could be so aroused, Lynn.”

  Jessie got to her feet as the pounding on the door started again.

  “Jessie! Open the door!” It was Karen, and she sounded frantic.

  “I’m coming!” Jessie called. She started toward the door, but Lynn was on her feet and grabbed her by the arm, turning her around to face her. She cupped Jessie’s face with both hands and kissed her. Jessie fell into her, offering no resistance to Lynn’s tongue as it slipped between her lips. Jessie’s knees began to buckle when Lynn pulled away from her.

  “There’s a little something for you to think about until we’re alone again,” Lynn said with a grin. She tried to help steady Jessie’s legs before letting her go, then began straightening her clothes. Jessie stared at her with what she was sure was a look of pure lust before pulling herself together and going to let her sister in.

  “Are you okay?” Karen asked. She closed the door and locked everything again before turning and looking at both of them. “Was he here?”

  “No, just on the phone.” Jessie noticed a smear of lipstick on the corner of Lynn’s mouth and tried to signal her, but Lynn’s attention was on Karen. “You didn’t have to drive all the way back here from Seattle.”

  “I was coming back in the morning anyway, and I think I broke land speed records on the way here.” Karen took a seat at the dining room table, and Lynn followed. Jessie detoured into the kitchen to get them all cups so they could drink the coffee Lynn had made. When Jessie took her seat, Karen was looking at Lynn with a smirk.

  “What?” Lynn asked, obviously self-conscious as her eyes darted back and forth between them before Karen finally took pity on her.

  “I can certainly see she was in good hands. That lipstick isn’t really your color, is it, Lynn?”

  Jessie laughed, and then Lynn’s face began to turn red. She stood up and headed for the bathroom.

  “So, did I interrupt anything?” Karen asked when she was gone.

  “Nothing more than kissing.” Jessie crossed her legs and rested her elbows on the table. “You really didn’t have to come back tonight.”

  “Too late, I’m already here.” Karen picked up her cup and took a sip. “Are you sure you’re all right, Jessie?”

  “I had a moment of panic when he called, that’s all. I’m sorry I called Sarah and got her all worried about me.”

  “Hey, don’t ever be sorry for calling for help, do you understand me?” Karen grasped Jessie’s hand firmly. “I’d be infinitely more upset if you hadn’t called and he showed up on your doorstep.”

  “I know.” Jessie forced a smile. God, how she wished she could get on with her life and not have to worry about Wayne every second of the day. Unfortunately, that probably wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

  “Have you told Mom about this?”

  “About what?”

  “About you and Lynn.” Karen’s tone made it clear that Jessie should have known exactly what she was talking about.

  “There’s nothing to tell.” Not yet, anyway. She felt her face flush at the thought of Lynn on the couch underneath her and hoped Karen wouldn’t notice.

  “Not yet.” Karen winked as she echoed Jessie’s thoughts. “Seriously, Jess, you should tell her. She’s completely different since Dad died. You’ve been a little preoccupied with other matters the past few months and may not have noticed, but trust me on this. It won’t be anything like it was when I came out.”

  Jessie glanced down the hallway at the bathroom door that was still closed. She stared at nothing as she remembered that night eighteen years earlier as though it had happened just yesterday.

  Jessie had been fifteen at the time, and Karen was about a month shy of her eighteenth birthday. For reasons Karen had never fully explained, she’d decided to announce to their parents that she was a lesbian.

  Arthur Greenfield had been furious. Lynn had planned on spending the night that evening, so the she and Jessie were in the living room watching television. Jessie remembered her father ordering them upstairs to her room so the adults could calmly discuss the situation.

  Knowing that no one ever discussed anything “calmly” while her father was around, Jessie had grabbed Lynn’s wrist and stopped her halfway up the staircase where they could sit and listen, but still be out of sight. Jessie had felt more than a little betrayed that Karen had kept a secret that big from her. Jessie had always felt they were close enough to talk about anything.

  As soon as she and Lynn left the room, her father unleashed the anger he’d kept a tight rein on. Jessie knew her mother was still sitting quietly in the corner, exactly where she’d been when she and Lynn went up the stairs. Where she always was when things took a turn for the worse.

  “You are going to a psychiatrist, young lady,” he yelled with more vehemence than Jessie had ever heard from him. “First thing in the morning.”

  “No, I’m not,” Karen replied calmly, then laughed out loud.

  Jessie had to clasp a hand over her mouth as she turned her head to look at Lynn on the step behind her. Lynn’s mouth hung open in disbelief. Karen’s response to his statement had scared Jessie almost as much as it excited her. Neither of them had ever dared to challenge their father. He had always been a hateful man, and they’d both learned early in life that they were to do exactly as they were told.

  “What did you say to me?”

  “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me,” Karen stated evenly. “I will not go to a psychiatrist.”

  “You’re sick, Karen,” their mother said meekly. “Please listen to your father.”

  “I certainly will not,” Karen replied adamantly. “I am not sick. As a matter of fact, I’m finally happy with who I am. Trying to deny how I feel in order to please the two of you was what made me sick.”

  “You can’t possibly be my daughter,” their father said viciously. His voice was lower, but Jessie could still hear the unmistakable anger—the undeniable hatred—in his tone. “No daughter of mine would ever do this to me. You’ve shamed this family.”

  “I’ve shamed this family?” Karen asked angrily. “You’re the one who goes out every night and gets drunk off your ass while you’re fucking some whore.”

  Jessie had been so surprised at Karen’s choice of language and forceful tone that she almost fell down the stairs. If Lynn hadn’t grabbed her arm, she likely would have. The next sound the two of them heard was that of Arthur Greenfield’s hand making solid contact with Karen�
��s face. Their mother screamed, but then quickly stifled it on her own, for she and Jessie both knew that if she didn’t, her husband would do it for her.

  Lynn had to put her arms around Jessie’s waist from behind to keep her from running down the stairs to Karen. Jessie struggled against her for a moment, but Lynn’s arms held her tight against her body.

  “Let go of me!” Karen shouted at her mother, who, Jessie knew from past experience, was trying to help her up.

  Jessie settled back into Lynn, who didn’t loosen her hold, obviously knowing Jessie would bolt if she did.

  “You’re just as bad as he is!” Karen yelled. “You know what he does every night, yet you still let him in your bed!”

  The three of them fell silent then. Jessie and Lynn sat hidden on the stairs, Lynn one step up, her arms wrapped tight around Jessie. They were both breathing hard, and Jessie began to think maybe they should get up to her room before they were found out.

  “What have you done to Jessica?” her father suddenly roared. “If you’ve laid a hand on her, so help me I’ll kill you!”

  “And you think I’m the one who’s sick?” Karen asked incredulously.

  “Jess?” Lynn asked.

  Jessie jumped slightly. She could almost hear her father yelling now, so many years after the fact. A shiver ran down her spine when Lynn’s voice jolted her back to the present. She looked at Lynn, who was obviously worried about her. Jessie had been so wrapped up in her memories, she hadn’t even been aware Lynn had returned from the bathroom.

  “Where were you?”

  “Back in my father’s house, sitting on the steps with you.” Her voice was shaking, but she managed a tremulous smile. If she was completely honest with herself, that had been the night she started developing feelings for Lynn. She loved her for being there for her and for stopping her from doing something foolish.

  “The night I came out?” Karen asked. Jessie nodded and looked over at her. Karen shook her head and looked at Lynn. “I thank God every day that you were there when that happened. If you hadn’t been there and Jessie had come downstairs to help me, there’s no telling how that night would have ended.”