Complete Works of J. M. Barrie

by Unknown

  ARMITAGE. How do you think my man is looking, Mrs. Teviot?

  MRS TEVIOT (LOOKING AT PAUL). I think you deserve great credit, Captain Armitage. I don’t see a grey hair in his head.

  MEIKLE. Provost Crosbie and Mrs. Crosbie — Colonel and Lady Farquhar — Mr. Alexander Riach.

  (THESE GUESTS ENTER, SHAKE HANDS, ETC. fairbairn REMAINS AT DOOR GREETING GUESTS.)

  PROVOST (TO PAUL). Great admirer of your paintings, sir; have not seen them yet. But they will come some day to the Pans.

  PAUL. Very good of you to say so.

  PROVOST. Oh yes, they will. Everything good finds its way to the Pans.

  MEIKLE. Bailie Blair — the Shirrah and Miss Bella Innes —

  Sir Henry and Lady Dunn.

  (A slight pause after each announcement, during which guests exchange greetings, look at presents, etc. The BAILIE is an inquisitive little man who thinks artists deeply interesting but not quite respectable.)

  BAILIE. Proud to shake hands with you, Mr. Digby.

  (He is about to do it but is pushed aside by the SHIRRAH, who shakes hands. He tries it again and SIR HENRY pushes him aside. He then succeeds.’)

  MEIKLE. Mr and Mrs. Menzies — the Misses Cranston — the Fiscal.

  (These enter.)

  BAILIE (WHO HAS BEEN GAZING AT PAUL AS AT THE OUTSIDE OF a CIRCUS). I am far from wishing to seem inquisitive, sir, but may I ask you what your income is?

  ARMITAGE. Do you think my man looks fit, Miss Innes?

  MISS INNES. Ah, one can never tell.

  PROVOST. And that is true, Miss Innes. There was Mr. Carmichael, our grocer, a bold man at a bargain, and yet on his marriage day when he should have been standing by his bride’s side he — where was it they found him hiding, Sarah? (TO HIS WIFE) Was it in the cellar, or beneath the counter?

  PAUL. Thank you, Provost; very encouraging.

  MEIKLE. Lady Janet Dunwoodie.

  (ENTER lady janet.)

  MRS TEVIOT. I remember one wedding I was at. The bridegroom was a soldier, but when he should have said ‘I do,’ he burst into tears.

  PAUL. Oh, I promise you I shall say it fast enough.

  MEIKLE. Lady Fenton, Lady Alice Fenton — Gordon of the Whaups — Mrs. Grieg and the Misses Grieg.

  (THEY ENTER; fairbairn GOES OUT.)

  ARMITAGE (TO lady janet). I say, Lady Janet, they are trying to frighten my man.

  LADY JANET. And he is quite sufficiently frightened as it is. Have you heard, Mrs. Teviot, that he and Margaret are not to remain for the wedding breakfast? They are to run away immediately after the ceremony.

  SEVERAL. Oh, shame!

  PAUL. Margaret’s wish, I assure you, ladies — not mine.

  MRS TEVIOT. And where do you go?

  PAUL. Only to the Dower House for the first fortnight.

  LADY JANET. Margaret will not even wait to change her dress.

  MRS TEVIOT. Oh! But as the Dower House is so near — we can all call on them! (THERE IS SOME LAUGHTER AT THIS.)

  MEIKLE (coming into centre of room, impressively). H’sh! The minister!

  (The talking suddenly ceases. Enter rev mr gibson, a sweet old gentleman. He is dressed in ordinary outdoor dress of a clergyman.)

  MR GIBSON (whispering to MEIKLE). Which is the bridegroom?

  MEIKLE. This, sir. (TO PAUL) Mr. Gibson, sir!

  MR GIBSON (SHAKING HANDS WITH PAUL). Ah! Mr. Digby, what shall we do without our Margaret?

  PAUL. I am thankful to say, Mr. Gibson, that her father has already found a bright side. You are to drop in frequently and play draughts with him.

  MR GIBSON (SMILING). The worst of it is, Fairbairn gets so angry when I win — and I usually win!

  (Solemn music as of organ begins, BLANCHE runs off. All look expectant, mr gibson and MEIKLE whisper — mr.

  gibson points out in dumb show how he wants guests to stand and then reads certificates to himself while MEIKLE puts guests in their places. Margaret’s maid hurries in excitedly, looks about for train and exits despairing. MR.

  gibson and MEIKLE stare after her BLANCHE rushes in and looks for train. She whispers to MEIKLE and mr.

  GIBSON. The three whisper with their heads close together PAUL joins them — whispering. He signs to armitage who joins them — whispering, armitage nods and complacently produces bundle and gives it to BLANCHE. To his surprise she is in agony. She weeps, then with withering disdain exits with bundle, PAUL, mr gibson, and MEIKLE signify their contempt for armitage — he is crushed, mr gibson paces floor, measuring off the exact distance from bride and bridegroom atwhichheisto stand. Hesigns to MEIKLE MEIKLE then beckons and the servants come in. He places them.

  MEIKLE and mr gibson take last look round; they nod to each other, MEIKLE signs to guests that the moment has arrived. Then he goes out. Enter mr fairbairn with MARGARET on his arm, followed by BLANCHE and other bridesmaids (two of them children). They take up position beside PAUL Music ceases MEIKLE brings mrs.

  ommaney IN AND SHE STANDS LISTLESSLY BEHIND SERVANTS, NOT LOOKING AT WHAT IS GOING ON. ALL LOOK AT Paul AND MARGARET, SMILING AND INTERESTED EXCEPT THE MINISTER IS EXAMINING PAPERS IN HIS HAND.)

  MR GIBSON (REFERRING TO PAPER). It is here certified that Paul Digby, bachelor, of the parish of Chelsea, London, and Margaret Fairbairn, of this parish, have been duly proclaimed according to the laws of their respective churches and we are now met together to solemnise the marriage.

  (All bow and there is a slight pause to indicate prayer by the minister. At the words ‘Paul Digby,’ MRS. OMMANEY has started and gazes transfixed at PAUL. All others looking at the couple, she is not observed, PAUL and MARGARET are looking down. During the silent prayer, while all the heads are bowed, PAUL looks up and his eyes fall on MRS. OMMANEY. Horror, entreaty and other feelings have been sweeping over her face, but as he sees her and is astounded, relentless purpose is in his eyes. His look begs for mercy but she looks implacable, her meaning being to expose him. As the prayer ends, the line of servants comes nearer, concealing MRS. OMMANEY from PAUL and the guests but not from the audience, who see that she is nearly fainting from excitement.)

  MR. GIBSON. Paul Digby and Margaret Fairbairn, it cannot be that you have come here lightly to assume the sacred obligations of husband and wife. Nevertheless I do call upon you even now, if any impediment there be, to speak out and stay my hand.

  (Pause in which MRS. OMMANEY’S arms are outstretched as if in appeal to PAUL.)

  You will now join hands.

  (They do so.)

  MR GIBSON. Paul Digby, do you take this woman, Margaret Fairbairn, to be your married wife, and do you promise and covenant before these witnesses to be a loving and faithful husband to her until you shall be separated by death?

  PAUL (after a pause in which all eyes turn upon him in surprise). I do.

  (MRS. OMMANEY, still hidden by the servants, is trying to speak, but cannot.)

  MR GIBSON. Margaret Fairbairn, do you take this man, Paul Digby, to be your married husband, and do you promise and covenant before these witnesses to be a loving and faithful wife to him until you shall be separated by death?

  MARGARET (TREMULOUSLY). I do.

  (Pause, PAUL seems bewildered.)

  ARMITAGE (in whisper). The ring.

  (PAUL puts ring on MARGARET’S finger, MRS. OMMANEY faints and is caught by a servant. The slight disturbance turns all eyes in that direction, but as MRS. OMMANEY is behind line of servants it is only seen that someone is being helped out. MR. GIBSON stops and looks round.)

  MRS. TEVIOT. One of the servants fainted, I think.

  SEVERAL GUESTS. A servant — one of the servants fainted —

  A SERVANT.

  MR GIBSON. I do now declare you to be husband and wife, and may all blessings fall upon you and may you look for strength to meet sorrow when it comes, as come it must, and may you be long-suffering and forbearing, each one with the shortcomings of the other. And may grace abide with us always.

  (There is a pause, then
a hubbub of voices as the guests gather round the couple, congratulating, shaking hands, kissing, etc. The stage is full of animation owing to this; PAUL is like one dazed, but controls his agitation, MR.

  GIBSON, who has gone to table where there is ink and pen, signs to him to come, PAUL goes and MR. GIBSON puts pen into his hand, PAUL signs like one in a dream — the air is full of congratulations, etc.)

  LADY JANET (kissing MARGARET). God bless you, Mrs. Digby.

  MR. GIBSON. Not so fast! She is not Mrs. Digby until she has signed this paper. Sign, Margaret Fairbairn.

  (MARGARET does so.)

  There is no Margaret Fairbairn now!

  (More laughing and kissing and handshaking.)

  MARGARET (as the butler is passing). Meikle, which of the servants was it that fainted?

  MEIKLE. It was that lady, Mrs. Ommaney.

  MARGARET. Poor thing. Is she still here?

  MEIKLE. No, ma’am, she recovered and went away on foot.

  PAUL (IN AGITATION). Where has she gone?

  MEIKLE. I don’t know, sir.

  (HURRAHING IS HEARD OUTSIDE.)

  MR FAIRBAIRN (KISSING MARGARET). Margaret, the carriage is at the door. Remember, always look on the bright side.

  MARGARET (LOOKING AT PAUL). It will be so easy!

  MR GIBSON. For better, for worse, Margaret, for richer, for poorer!

  MR. FAIRBAIRN. And NOT A cloud in THE SKY!

  (PAUL and MARGARET are going toward door, the guests making a lane for them, ARMITAGE and MEIKLE bring rice and slippers. Exeunt the pair amid showers of rice and slippers.)

  ACT II

  SCENE: Mrs. Ommaney’s lodgings at the Pans. The interior is humble, but there is a picturesque view through the window of sea and rocks. There is a bedroom door, and when this is open, part of the bedroom is disclosed.

  (CURTAIN RISES ON jenny geddes, AGED 14, WHO IS NURSING A BABY.)

  JENNY (MOVING ABOUT). Hush-a-bye! Oh, you English baby, will you never sleep? It’s your time, I tell you. Look at the clock if you dinna believe me.

  (The clock shows the time to be about 5 p m.)

  N’yum, n’yum! N’yum, n’yum! (PUTS HER ON SOFA.) I believe you understand every word I say to you. This is a chair, and that there’s the window and the beautiful thing outside the window is the world. And this is the beautifullest lodgings in the Pans and I’m your beautiful nurse. Baby Ommaney is your name, England is your nation, And you ‘re lodging this week with my mama In her beautiful habitation. Baby, I just hates you for no sleeping. (KISSING HER) I hates you, I hates you! You bonny, will you sleep if I put you in your bed?

  (Knock is heard. She runs to window.)

  Oh, baby! A carriage and pair!

  (Exit into bedroom with child whom she is seen placing in a cradle. Enter MARGARET trying to look as if she had been married for years.)

  MARGARET (calling). Mrs. Geddes! Jenny!

  (ENTER jenny.)

  JENNY. Miss Margaret!

  MARGARET. Not Miss Margaret any longer, Jenny!

  jenny. I forgot. Oh, miss, let me see it. (LOOKING AT Margaret’s LEFT HAND.)

  MARGARET (CONSCIOUSLY). See what, Jenny?

  JENNY. Oh, miss, when there’s just one thing in the world!

  (MARGARET SHOWS HER WEDDING RING GLEEFULLY.)

  JENNY (TO RING). Oh, the bonny, oh, the crittur, oh, the pet! (KISSES HER HAND TO IT.) Miss Margaret, when you woke up this morning and saw that on your finger did you scream out ‘ Hurray!’?

  MARGARET. But how is Mrs. Ommaney? I have come to see her.

  JENNY. She’s out, miss; she’s been out for hours. Are you acquaint with her?

  MARGARET. A little — but I heard by accident a few minutes ago only, that she was lodging with you. I have been visiting my old nurse, Goody Lindsay, Jenny, and she told me. When does Mrs. Ommaney come back?

  JENNY. I canna say. She just said she was going out to see a friend.

  MARGARET. I did not know she had friends here.

  JENNY. Nor I. (PROUDLY) And it’s no just a woman, it’s a man.

  MARGARET. But I am glad. Well, Jenny, you must put up with my company until Mr. Digby comes for me.

  JENNY. Is HE coming?

  MARGARET. I dropped him at the station and the arrangement was that he should pick me up at Goody’s; but he was sure to know her house by the carriage at the door, so when he sees it at your door —

  JENNY. He’ll think this is Goody’s. That grand man coming here! (GOING HURRIEDLY.)

  MARGARET. Where are you going, Jenny?

  JENNY. To put on my diamond necklace!

  MARGARET. Come back. He will prefer you as you are.

  JENNY. Not him, ma’am. I ken men better than that.

  MARGARET. Come, I want to talk to you. How is your mother?

  JENNY (VERY OLD-FASHIONED). She’s just about the same, ma’am, there about it, off and on, nothing to boast of, ma’am, and nothing to complain of. She’s helping at the postoffice. The postmistress has the neuralgy again so mother’s there helping.

  MARGARET. And you are left in charge?

  (JENNY nods.)

  You like your lodger?

  JENNY (CARELESSLY). Yes. (ECSTATICALLY) But the baby! Oh, oh!

  MARGARET. Baby? Has Mrs. Ommaney a baby?

  JENNY. Oh, ma’am, of all the babies! (RUNS TO BEDROOM DOOR AND CALLS IN) Eat you, I’ll eat you! She’s sound, miss — I mean, ma’am. Sometimes she sleeps and sometimes she wakes up — I never see such a baby!

  MARGARET. Poor fatherless child. Was Mrs. Ommaney unwell when she came home yesterday?

  JENNY. She was terrible excited, but she locked herself up in her room and I never saw her. But I heard her — even after I was in my bed I heard her walking up and down, up and down, and I was feared in case in the morning she would be like — like she was that other time. (SHUDDERS.)

  MARGARET. What other time?

  JENNY (STILL QUAKING). Dinna ask, ma’am! And she was quiet this morning and telled me she was going out to call on a friend, a gentleman. Oh, ma’am, when she comes back I hope she winna be like — like she was that once. (QUAKES.)

  MARGARET. Jenny, what WAS that other time? You are shaking.

  JENNY. So did she! Oh, if you had seen how she shook!

  MARGARET. Tell me — I insist.

  JENNY. You winna tell my mother? I promised Mrs. Ommaney no to tell her.

  MARGARET. But why?

  JENNY. Because mother would be feared and send her away, and then I should lose baby.

  MARGARET. Very well.

  JENNY. It was a week ago, ma’am — the third night after she came here. She had been out wandering all day on the cliffs and round by the Lover’s Seat.

  MARGARET. Ah, I know why she goes there.

  JENNY. And she came in at dusk terrible excited. Then about an hour after — ah!

  MARGARET. Go on.

  JENNY. She was sitting in the bedroom before her lookingglass and I was brushing out her hair. But by-and-by I noticed she was shaking and I said, ‘What makes you shake?’ But she never spoke and I looked up — and saw her face in the lookingglass. Oh, ma’am, it wasna the face of a sane woman!

  MARGARET. Jenny!

  JENNY. She spoke to hersel’, ma’am, first wi’ a wild, suspicious face and then so sweet and pretty and she said kind things to me — but she didna ken me nor where she was.

  MARGARET. How did it end?

  JENNY. She lay doun on the bed saying words like ‘Love’ and ‘Darling.’ MARGARET. Ah, her husband!

  JENNY. And then she fell asleep for an hour and when she woke she was just as sane as you or me. She said, ‘Why did I lie down, Jenny?’ MARGARET. You told her?

  JENNY. Yes, and it made her cry and wring her hands. She said she had just twice in her life been like that before and it never lasted above an hour.

  MARGARET. Poor woman.

  JENNY. If she should be like that again!

  MARGARET (SOOTHING HER). No, no, we must look on the bright s
ide. We must hope for the best. Don’t tremble — what can I do to make you happy again?

  JENNY. Maybe, if I was to put on my diamond necklace?

  MARGARET (SHAKING HEAD AT HER). Well, off you go.