Last Train Home

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  I was relieved that everything was straight between Jesse and me. While I was happy with the group of friends I’d made since moving to Carver, besides Alex, I’d clicked the most with Jesse and I hated the thought of things being awkward between us. Holly, Laura, and Mandy were fun, and Brandon was cool, albeit only tolerable at times, but there was something different about the connection I had with Jesse.

  The rest of the morning went by quickly and soon it was lunch, my favorite time of the day. I hadn’t seen Alex since I left him before first hour and when I saw him waiting for me outside of the cafeteria, I felt a huge smile spread across my face. I quickened my pace to meet him.

  He leaned in and kissed me sweetly before taking my hand and leading me to our usual spot at my lunch table. No one was there yet, so Alex and I sat down alone, which I honestly didn’t mind. I began eating my lunch while he gently stroked by back, causing a shower of goosebumps. Then his hand crawled up my back beneath my hair and tickled the base of neck.

  “You’re awfully handsy today,” I laughed.

  “I warned you this morning,” he whispered in my ear and then paused before adding. “How ‘bout we go to my house after school. My parents won’t be home till later.”

  I turned my head to meet his eyes and they looked serious.

  My gaze was ripped away from his before I could respond though when I heard my friends joining us. The still skeptical Holly and Laura said their obligatory hellos and Mandy gave her usual exuberant greeting to Alex. A few minutes later we were joined by Jesse and Brandon. Even though neither of them had ever said it, I could tell Jesse and Alex weren’t exactly fond of each other. Brandon didn’t seem like a big fan of Alex’s either, but they politely ignored each other for my sake.

  “So, Riley,” Mandy said excitedly a few minutes later. “Did Jesse tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “We’re going to homecoming.”

  “Who? You and Jesse?”

  “Yeah!”

  “No, he didn’t tell me,” I said and I looked over to Jesse. He just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

  “Yeah, I finally convinced everyone we need to go. I mean, we are seniors after all. It’s our last homecoming. We have to go.”

  “She’s very persuasive,” Jesse said and Mandy shot him a glare.

  “Anyway…” Mandy said before continuing. “I’m going with Jesse and Brandon’s taking Holly…”

  “I’m so lucky,” Holly said sarcastically cutting Mandy off. Again, Mandy shot a glare across the table.

  “You know it, baby,” Brandon said smoothly, draping his arm around Holly’s shoulder. She just rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

  “What about you, Laura?” I asked.

  “You didn’t tell her?” Mandy gasped.

  “You’re so dramatic, Mandy. We don’t all go around broadcasting everything.”

  “What didn’t you tell me?” I asked Laura.

  “James Lusk asked her to the dance,” Mandy shouted out before Laura even had a chance.

  “Thank you,” Laura said, rolling her eyes at Mandy’s over exuberance.

  “I’m sorry! I’m just so excited that we’re all going.”

  “I’m excited too,” I said, reaching over and taking Alex’s hand. “It’s going to be so much fun going together.” I thought I felt Alex tense up, but I wasn’t sure.

  “We’ll need to get our dresses soon,” Mandy continued. “You guys wanna go up to Wichita this weekend?”

  I looked around at Laura and Holly and they shrugged their shoulders as if they didn’t mind.

  “How ‘bout we head up after school on Friday?” Mandy suggested.

  “Can’t,” I replied quickly. “Jesse and I are going to the shooting range.”

  “You are?” Alex asked, finally joining in the conversation.

  “Yeah. He thinks I may change my attitude about guns if I understand them better.”

  “What about Saturday then?” Mandy asked.

  “That’s fine with me,” I answered.

  “Me too,” Holly said.

  “Works for me,” Laura added.

  “Excellent,” Mandy said excitedly. “This is going to be so fun.”

  “Yeah. We’re gonna have a ball,” Holly said sarcastically, but I could tell by the look on her face, she was looking forward to it, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

  ****

  “You didn’t tell me you were going out with Jesse on Friday,” Alex said as we walked around outside before the end of the lunch period.

  “We kinda got into a debate about gun control and he said I just don’t understand guns, which is why I don’t like them, so he suggested we go to the shooting range. I doubt I’ll change my views, but I’ll humor him.” I was laughing, but when I looked over to Alex, he wasn’t. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he said, but I could tell he was lying.

  “C’mon. What is it?”

  He seemed to hesitate and we continued to walk for a few moments before he spoke.

  “Well,” he began slowly. “How would you like it if I was hanging out with Adrienne or Kristen or Dana?”

  I stopped at his words and he was staring at me.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Just try and put yourself in my shoes.”

  “Jesse’s my friend. He has been since day one,” I said defensively.

  “I know that.”

  “Then why do you care if I hang out with him? You didn’t seem to care before.”

  “We weren’t going out then,” he shot back. “And I don’t like the idea of my girlfriend going out with another guy.”

  “I’m not going out with another guy,” I said insistently. “I’m hanging out with my friend and working on a project for school.”

  “I know that. But how would you feel if the roles were reversed?”

  “It’s not the same thing. Adrienne’s your ex-girlfriend who’s been nothing but awful to me since the day I moved here. So, to answer your question, if it was Adrienne you were hanging out with, I may have a problem, but I wouldn’t care if it was Kristen or Dana.”

  “I have to disagree.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I think you would have a problem.”

  “No, I wouldn’t because I trust you Alex, but you apparently don’t trust me.”

  “I do trust you.”

  “Obviously you don’t.”

  “I was just trying to tell you how I felt. You asked, so I told you.”

  “And like I told you, Jesse’s just my friend. Now unless you’ve got a problem with my friends…” I began, before he cut me off.

  “Speaking of your friends,” he said gruffly. “What is all this talk about going to homecoming together?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean all this talk between you and Mandy about us all going together as a group.”

  “I figured we’d go together.”

  “Don’t I have a say in this?”

  “Well, yeah, but…I wanted to go with my friends,” I stammered.

  “And what if I wanted to go with my friends or by ourselves?”

  “Oh, you mean the friends who have been so nice to me since I moved here?” I asked, the sarcasm thick in my voice.

  He just shook his head and looked at me with wide eyes.

  “I get it. You don’t like my friends, but other than Adrienne, no one else has given you a reason to feel that way.”

  “You just don’t get it.”

  “I do get it, but you just seem a little one sided. It’s always about your friends. We eat with them every day…” he said until I cut him off.

  “We eat with your friends too,” I retorted.

  “Yeah, for like five minutes and you make it painfully obvious that you can hardly stand doing that,” he said rigidly.

  We stood glaring at each other. I was mad at him and I could tell he wasn’t happy with me either. My friends were important to me and so was
Alex. There had to be a way to balance both, but as I stood staring at him, I didn’t know what to do about it.

  “So what are you saying?” I demanded.

  “I don’t know, maybe that I don’t like the idea of you going out with Jesse and I’d like my friends to get fair billing.”

  “Whatever,” I said, turning to walk away from him. Every couple had to have their first fight and this was obviously ours.

  “Riley! Don’t walk away!” he called to me as I left.

  I just ignored him though and made my way quickly to my next class.

  ****

  I used fifth hour to calm down a little, but I still wasn’t ready to see Alex when our English class rolled around. As I approached the classroom, I half expected to see Alex waiting for me, leaning against the lockers like he usually did, but he wasn’t there. I didn’t care though. He’d overstepped and I wasn’t one to be pushed around.

  I walked inside to see Alex sitting quietly in his seat. He looked up when I walked in. His mouth was a stern line across his face. He looked away a second later and I made my way to my seat, catching the eye of Jesse as I did so. He looked at me curiously, but didn’t say anything to me like he normally did.

  Luckily, Mrs. Davenport lectured so I could hide in my seat and not say anything during class. I was relieved when the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I stood up quickly and headed out the door, not bothering to wait for or even look back at Alex. I was soon lost in the crowd, glad to be rid of this weird day. I’d managed to repair things with Jesse only to damage things with Alex.

  I got to my locker and gathered my things before closing it probably a little harder than was necessary.

  “Whoa, watch it!” a familiar voice said and I looked over to see Jesse approaching me.

  “Hey,” I sighed.

  “Everything okay?” he asked as we started walking.

  “Yeah, I guess so.”

  “You seem pretty ticked off at your locker,” he laughed and I just turned and shot a glare in his direction. “I’m just kidding, but seriously, things seemed kinda icy between you and Alex in class.”

  “Were we that obvious?”

  “Yeah,” he laughed. “I thought daggers were gonna shoot from your eyes there for a minute.”

  “You wouldn’t be far from the truth.”

  “What’s going on?” he asked and although his tone was light, I could tell he was concerned.

  “It’s Alex.”

  “Trouble in paradise?” he laughed.

  I stopped and glared at him again.

  “You’re not helping, Jesse.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. What happened?” he asked as we started walking again.

  “We had a fight.”

  “Well, obviously. What about?”

  “You,” I said bluntly and he started laughing again.

  “Me? What’d I do?”

  “He doesn’t like me hanging out with you.”

  “Ah…so he’s the jealous type,” Jesse snickered and I thought I heard a hint of satisfaction in his laugh.

  “I told him he’s got nothing to be jealous about. I told him that we’re just friends.”

  “That we are,” he said, before continuing. “What’d he say to that?”

  “He tried telling me I’d feel the same way if he was hanging out with other girls. And then, get this,” I said, reaching over and grabbing his arm. “He got all pissy about all of us going to homecoming together.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. He claims I’m very one-sided and that I won’t give his friends a chance.”

  “So, what’re you gonna do?” he asked as he held the old maroon door open for me and we walked out into the fresh air towards the parking lot.

  “I don’t know. He knows I’m not happy. I guess I’ll just wait and see what tomorrow brings.”

  “Sorry, Riley.”

  “No biggie. It’s not your fault,” I said as we approached my Jetta.

  “Well, if you need to talk or anything, just gimme a call,” he said as I unlocked the door and threw my stuff in the back. “Thanks. I appreciate that,” I said, climbing into the driver’s seat.

  “See you tomorrow,” he said, gently closing the door. I smiled and waved to him through the glass and drove away.

  Chapter Seventeen

  My mom made spaghetti for dinner and after I did the dishes, I went up to my room to finally get started on the homework I’d been putting off. It wasn’t much, just some chemistry questions and an easy reader response for English. I figured I’d get it punched out fairly quickly if I just stopped dawdling.

  I was nearly done with my English assignment when I heard the doorbell ring. I just ignored it though, assuming it was Uncle Mike or Aunt Debbie. A few moments later though, I was interrupted by a light knock on my door.

  “Come in,” I said, not lifting my head from the screen of my laptop.

  “You have company,” my mom’s voice said. I turned and looked at her questioningly. “Alex is downstairs.”

  “He is?” I asked and she nodded.

  “Do you want to see him?”

  I nodded and she left. A few moments later, I heard the heavy footsteps of Alex’s boots on the stairs and then he stood in the doorway, looking nervous as he held a small bouquet of flowers and we stared wordlessly at each other.

  “Hey,” he said quietly. “Can we talk?”

  I nodded and he took a few steps into my room.

  “I’m sorry, Riley,” he said, closing the gap between us. He handed me the flowers and I looked down at the white daisies before I took them from him and breathed them in for a second.

  “Thanks,” I said quietly, standing up from my desk so I was looking up at him and then we walked over to the bed and sat down side by side. We were quiet again and I laid the flowers beside me.

  “I was out of line today and I’m sorry,” he said, cautiously taking my hand. When I didn’t pull back, he curled his fingers around mine until my hand was dwarfed by his. “I’m sorry I let my jealousy get the best of me.”

  “I just want you to know there’s nothing to be jealous about when it comes to me and Jesse. He’s my friend, that’s all.”

  He smiled at me, but I could tell he still seemed a little nervous.

  “I know he is, and I’ll try to remember that. I may not like it, but I do understand.”

  “I guess that’s all I can ask,” I replied. “I’m sorry too, Alex. I mean…about your friends and all. You’re right about me not giving them a chance.”

  “You don’t need to apologize for anything. I know my friends are arrogant and annoying and to be honest, if I hadn’t known them my whole life, I probably wouldn’t like them either.” We both started laughing and I could feel the tension dissipating. “But, about homecoming…” he said before his voice trailed off. “I um…it’s not that I don’t wanna go with your friends.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I want the night to be special and if you’re okay with it, I’d like it to be just you and me…alone. I don’t really want to share you,” he said with a grin. My cheeks went red and I looked away. “You’re so cute,” he said, reaching up and stroking my cheek. “You always get so flustered when I compliment you.”

  I was quiet, unable to respond. I did get flustered because he made me nervous with all of the feelings he caused to stir in me.

  “What do you say? About homecoming?” he prodded.

  “Okay. Yeah…we can do that, I mean, now that you explained everything, I understand.”

  “I want you to more than understand. I want you to be okay with it. Are you okay with it?” he asked as he bored his eyes into mine and I knew I was okay with it.

  “Yes, I’m okay with it. It’ll be nice actually.”

  “I promise it will be. And we can always meet up with our friends at the dance.”

  “You’re right.”

  He began to massage my thigh gently. His fingers felt strong
through my thin sweats.

  “I hated fighting with you today,” I said, scooting closer to him.

  “Me too.” He put his arm around me and pulled me to him. “I hated watching you walk away from me. I couldn’t wait till tomorrow to see if you were going to talk to me again. I hope you don’t mind I came by.”

  “No. I’m glad you did. I don’t think I would’ve gotten much sleep tonight otherwise.”

  I felt his hand gently reach up and turn my face to meet his. His dark brown eyes looked so soft and caring. My head started swimming again like it always did when he looked at me that way.

  “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he said softly. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course,” I said and waited until his lips met mine.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “So you’re sure the boyfriend’s okay with this?” Jesse said with a sarcastic laugh as I hopped into the passenger seat of his old Wagoneer on Friday.

  “Yes, the boyfriend’s fine with it,” I said, slugging him gently as we drove to the shooting range.

  “You sure? I thought I saw him giving me the stink eye in English today.”

  “The stink eye? Are you serious, Jesse? The stink eye?”

  “Yes, the stink eye,” he said, looking over at me and giving me his best impression of the supposed look Alex had given him, with squinty eyes and pursed lips. “In fact, I think he’s been giving it to me all week.”

  “Oh my gosh. You’re like the biggest dork ever, Jesse.”

  We started laughing and he continued driving.

  Soon we were pulling into the parking lot of the Sumner County Shooting Range. I couldn’t help but notice there was an abundance of trucks with gun racks and I instantly felt like a hillbilly. I almost said something, but stopped myself knowing Jesse wouldn’t appreciate yet another Carver crack.

  He pulled the car into an empty space near the front. When we walked inside, it wasn’t exactly what I’d expected. I had imagined stuffed animal heads lining the walls and men running around flailing their guns around like Yosemite Sam. It was the complete opposite. The place looked clean and modern with gray walls and a white tile floor.

  Jesse and I walked up to the counter and I continued to look around. My eyes stopped on a sign that read Must be 18 or older unless accompanied by an adult.