Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs

by Gerry Bartlett

Page 19

 

  “I never dream. ” Flo gave Valdez a final pat, then moved to my side. “What were they like? Sexy?”

  “Parts were, but mostly violent, terrifying. And, yes, I did get sick. Ian had two potions. One to drink before I slept and one for when I woke tonight. ” I grabbed Flo’s hand. “But, Flo, I lost two and a half pounds after one session! And they stayed off after a day of healing sleep!”

  “You are kidding me!” Flo’s eyes widened. She looked me up and down and turned me around. “I can see the difference. That is so worth it, Glory. ”

  “I know! So you can see why I have to go out there again tonight. No matter what. ” I heard Valdez and Richard growl.

  Nathan put some distance between himself and the other two men. “I think that’s my cue to get the hell out of here. I’ll go down to Brittany’s room and tell her to stick with Ray tonight. And I’ll do the same. He’s got some important interviews lined up. Publicity for his new album. ” He stopped next to the door. “But, Glory, you call him if you need even more reinforcements. I know he and Brittany would want to be there. ”

  “Thanks, Nate. ” I smiled gratefully. It was nice to have so many loyal friends.

  Flo shook my arm. “Tell me more about this Ian’s plan. What else did you do to lose so much weight so fast?”

  “I drank from a mortal runner. ” I made a face. “You know how I am about taking advantage . . . ”

  “Don’t be silly. I’m sure the mortal was honored to serve you. ” Florence figures anyone who isn’t a vampire wishes he was one. A mortal is lucky to be a donor. Yeah, she’s got something of a superiority complex, but I love her anyway.

  “Well, yes, that’s the way she saw it. Anyway, I’m to be there at midnight to drink from her again, right after she’s done another run. That’s when the feeding is most effective. ”

  “Seems like you wouldn’t have to depend on MacDonald for that. ” Richard shoved his hands in his pockets. “So why go out there again? Especially if he scares you. ”

  “You know the effects of drinking won’t last through a healing sleep. Not without the supplements Ian provides. ” I walked into the bedroom and brought out the two bottles. I still felt weak, which was weird. I mean, vamps are never weak. And just looking at the empties made my stomach roll again. “Here. Smell what was in these. ”

  Richard moved closer and sniffed each of them. “Nothing unusual, but vamps don’t ingest foreign substances at all. I certainly wouldn’t take either of them again. ”

  “I’m going to ask Ian if there’s a different supplement I can take. ” I pointed to the one I’d just finished. “I couldn’t keep that one down. ”

  “Then it can’t have helped you, cara. ” Flo patted my shoulder. “Do we fly out there?”

  “No, Ian’s sending a limo. ” I looked at my watch. “We should go down now. I’d better put on Valdez’s leash. ”

  “Gee, can’t wait. ” Valdez sat patiently while I clipped it on his collar.

  “Is that what you’re going to wear, Glory? You know the paparazzi will be out front waiting to take your picture. You have something cuter, no? This is too plain. ” Flo looked me over critically as she followed me into the bedroom where I was going to put on my shoes.

  “I’m trying to wear clothes that weigh the same as the first night. For comparison. ” I looked in my closet. I did have some different jeans that would work. And a purple V-neck sweater that probably compared to a T-shirt. “All right. I’ll change, but not into leather. That stuff probably weighs a ton. ”

  “True, but is cute, no?”

  “On you? You bet. When I’m a size six, I’ll get some pants like that. Only red. I love red leather. ” I headed into the bathroom to slip into the clothes and to add a bit more blush. Couldn’t use the mirror, no reflection. But I felt pale. All that throwing up. And I wasn’t sure I wasn’t going to do it again. I took a few shallow breaths until the nausea passed, then came out to sit on the side of the bed to slip on my heels.

  “Much better. ” Flo sat next to me. “You’re not losing this weight to please Israel, are you?”

  “No, of course not. He’s sweet about my size, even though the tabloids are positively gruesome to me. You know the headlines: ‘Baby on Board? Caine Sings the Blues. ’”

  “Bastardos! I hope they have wives with elephant butts. ” Flo put her arm around me and squeezed.

  “I’m losing the weight for me, Flo. Because I’ve always wanted to and couldn’t. You know?”

  “I know. I’ve heard you talk about it. Like me and my height. I am so short, people don’t take me seriously. I am a, how you say, shrimp. ” She laughed. “But we are women who can take care of ourselves, no?”

  “Yes, we can. And I’m going to do this. Even if I have to suffer a little bit. ” I bit back a moan when my stomach cramped. “Thanks for coming with me. It means a lot. ”

  “No problem. Now, let’s head out. I want to see this Malibu. Is the Pacific Ocean beautiful?”

  “Very. Especially if you like the water. ” I walked behind her into the living room and grabbed my purse. “Ian’s home is gorgeous. He has a fantastic view from every window. That’s as close as I want to get to any ocean. ”

  “The Pacific is beautiful. ” Richard handed Flo her tiny purse. “I’m surprised you’ve never seen it before, darling. ”

  “So am I. Guess I’m just an East Coast, Mediterranean type of woman, eh, Ricardo?” She kissed his cheek as he opened the door into the hall. “Do we have a plan, gentlemen?” She looked at Valdez, who trotted in front of me.

  “Sure. We watch Ian like a hawk. One wrong move from the MacDonald and we take him apart. That’s my plan. ” Valdez looked back at me when I grabbed his tail. “Ouch?”

  “Cool it, tough guy. I’ll decide what a wrong move is. In your state of mind, Ian could scratch his chin and you’d take it as an offensive move. ”

  Valdez chuckled and looked at Richard. “It is. That’s the old Prague maneuver. Am I right, Rich?”

  “Sure, seen it done a thousand times. Let it go and you’re staring at the business end of a stake before you know it. ”

  I punched the elevator call button. “Right. Keep amusing yourselves. But this is my deal. Screw it up and I’ll never forgive you. Either of you. Florence, keep your man in line. ”

  Flo pressed herself against Richard. “Ricardo, stay calm, let Glory enjoy Ian’s magic. When she is a size six, you can tear him apart. Sì, Glory?” She grinned at me.

  “Well, I wouldn’t put it like that. ” The elevator arrived and Ray’s former bedmate happened to be inside. Well, if that wasn’t a kick in my size-twelve pants. I smiled and nodded and sent Flo a mental message. It had her narrowing her eyes and sending her own message that had the mortal female sweating and getting off at the first opportunity.

  “Puttana!” Flo hissed after her when we were alone in the elevator again.

  “What?” Richard had been humming under his breath, obviously not included in our mental messaging. “You know, I’ve heard this name MacDonald before but can’t place it. I’ll have to ask Blade. ”

  “Uh, don’t do that. He’s got a thing about the MacDonalds. Ever since they stole some of his cattle about five hundred years ago. Ancient history, and I want to enjoy this trip. ” I laughed while my stomach took a serious dive and I jabbed at the button for the lobby. “Trust me. Ian’s not interested in cattle. So don’t kill him, okay?”

  “No promises. That scratching-the-chin thing is no joke. Especially if he’s got his own security crew. ” Richard looked down at Valdez. “We need a signal. I say it’s a foot jiggle. Left foot. Left front for you, V. That clear?”

  “Got it. Then we strike. ” Valdez looked up at me. “And don’t get in our way if we do, Glory. It will be life or death or we wouldn’t start the war. ”

  I swallowed as the elevator doors opened on the lobby. My stomach was rolling
again and I had the feeling that everything was spiraling out of control. A camera flashed as we neared the waiting stretch limo and I heard a shouted question.

  “Hey, Glory, when’s the baby due?”

  I kept my head down, but Valdez growled and apparently Flo shot the finger at the guy because there were more flashes and I could hear her shouting what sounded like dire threats in Italian. I grabbed Richard’s arm so he wouldn’t start something right there in front of the hotel. Yep, things were clearly going to hell in a handbasket. But I was going to lose this weight or die trying.

  Seven

  “You brought your friends with you, Glory. ” Ian smiled and bowed over Flo’s hand. “But not Caine. ”

  “Ray’s really tied up with the Grammy promotional stuff, Ian. ” I smiled and swallowed the urge to heave all over Ian’s leather loafers. “And would you believe Florence has never seen the Pacific Ocean? I knew you wouldn’t mind if they rode out here with us. You remember Richard Mainwaring, Florence’s husband. You met at the club. ”

  The men nodded, obviously taking each other’s measure again away from the excitement and noise of the vampire club. I shivered from the chill in the air. Or was it because I felt clammy and about to faint? I grabbed hold of Valdez’s fur to steady myself.

  “Glory? What the hell?” Valdez bumped me over to the leather couch and I fell onto it. “MacDonald, do something. I think she’s about to pass out. ”

  I heard them all talking. Flo babbling in excited Italian, Richard’s calm voice in the same language and Ian’s cool hands on my face as he lifted my lids and looked into my eyes.

  “Glory, how do you feel?”

  “Like shit. ” I tried to sit up, but couldn’t manage it. “That stuff you gave me to drink when I woke up”—I shuddered—“made me sick. ” I closed my eyes but the world kept spinning.