(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5)

by Michelle Mankin

  Still so hopelessly in love with him. Even though I hadn’t heard anything but second hand reports about him since the accident.

  The bell jingled a couple of moments later. Shit. I’d forgotten to lock up after the last customer left. I turned but whatever words I had thought to speak died within my throat, the way my hopes had faded without him to nurture them.

  “Mona.” My chest burned hearing him speak the name that only he and Ash used for me.

  “We’re closed.” I turned away. My throat was so tight I could barely swallow.

  I heard his footsteps noticing a little hitch in it as he approached. It hurt me to be reminded of the injury and all that it had cost us. I desperately wished I could turn back time and undo it. But that wasn’t possible. Instead I whirled around to find him closer than I could bear.

  “I’m sorry. I had to see you. Patch told me that you were working here.” His gaze narrowed lingering on the bruise that wasn’t fading well. If anything the multicolored hue of it made it look worse. I’d been using makeup to hide it but apparently most of that had rubbed off during my double shift.

  “Go away, Lincoln.” His heat and his unique scent shattered my fragile equilibrium in a torrent of memories. The sweet slide of his skin against mine. His smooth caresses on my body. His words that had tempted me to believe in impossible things.

  “I can’t. I wish I could…for your sake, but I can’t.” He touched me. His strong capable fingers felt warm and heavy on my shoulders. A touch at once familiar and forlorn.

  “You have to.” I shrugged away from him, my husky voice betraying my need for him. Why was he here? Why had he only come to see me now?

  “It’s been ten days, Lincoln. Ten days without a single word.” Frustrated tears stung my eyes. “Pardon me if I don’t fall right back into your arms.”

  His eyes were hooded and seemed to swirl with emotions as tumultuous as my own.

  “We don’t have to do this,” I whispered to fill the tense silence while his hands opened and closed as if he were wrestling with himself about something. “We had a good run. It was fun while it lasted.” I backed away from him sticking my hands deep inside my apron pocket so I wouldn’t reach for him, for a last touch. “Mr. Brighton will be back soon to close out the books. I’ve got to finish up here. Goodbye, Lincoln.”

  He blinked rapidly his brilliant blues suddenly sparkling with an intensity that I hadn’t seen since before the accident. I wondered if he had been just going through the motions of living the same way I was. He closed the distance between us and grabbed me by the shoulders, his fingers digging in deep. “I screwed up, Mona. Bad. I felt like my world came crashing down and I was afraid. I lashed out and cut you off when I should’ve pulled you closer. I should’ve been strong like you. I should have shared my burdens and assured you we’d make it through them. I’m so sorry. I have no excuse.” His expression was heartfelt but his voice dropped so low I had to lean in to make out the next words. “It’s just that surfing was my only chance. My one shot to prove I was more than the worthless piece of shit my father always said I was. Plus it was my way to provide for myself…for us.”

  I shook my head denying what my heart wanted to believe his words meant.

  “When I was out on my board the day of the accident, you were all I could think about. All I’ve thought about since I met you really.” His fingers bit into my flesh. “I was going to ask you to marry me, Mona.” His eyes took on a faraway glow. “I didn’t have all the logistics worked out. I just knew I wanted you with me.”

  “Linc.” I reached for him, greedy fingers clinging to his strong arms even as my desperate heart clung to the lifeline his words represented.

  He refocused on me and there was something primal in his gaze, something I responded to because when it came to him my feelings were just as elemental. “Everything’s changed now. I should be unselfish and just let you go. But how can I when every time I close my eyes I fuckin’ see you, touch you, taste you and take you over and over again.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I can’t do it, Mona. I can’t let you go. Don’t say goodbye. Not yet. Give me one more chance to prove myself to you.”

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  * * *

  Linc

  “We gotta go,” Ash said. “We can’t wait anymore. We’ve got to be on time for the show tonight in San Clemente.” He slapped my shoulder before moving to the driver’s side of the packed to the gills van. “I’m sorry, man. I know how much you wanted her to come.”

  I nodded once and moved to the passenger side. Just then I saw the car pull up in front of the house. Simone hopped out and leaned in the open window to pull out a green and blue striped backpack from the seat.

  My heart went nuts but I schooled my features to neutral. But that was difficult to do when she was here and looked so hot in cutoffs and a midriff baring light green tank top. She hurried up the driveway toward me hitching the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.

  “You came,” I said lamely, moving to intercept her, sliding the backpack off her shoulder. I threw it at Dominic who protested loudly before tossing it into the back with the instruments and other luggage. The boards were on the roof. Only three of them. I had been trying to avoid thinking about that.

  “Are you surprised?” Her voice was lightly teasing. I wanted to kiss her right then. Desperately.

  “How come Linc gets to bring his girl with him?” Dominic complained.

  “Cuz his said yes when asked, Loser,” Ramon quipped. Apparently Karen had turned down a similar offer from Dominic because she had to get ready for school.

  I took Mona’s hand, my heart stumbling the instant I touched her. So did my stupid feet as my bad leg caught on the uneven pavement. I helped her up onto the front seat then I got in slamming the half wood paneled door a little harder than necessary. I despised my physical infirmity and the emotional insecurity that went along with it.

  My confidence had taken a hit since the accident. I didn’t want her coming along just because she felt sorry for me. The certainty that I had once felt about us had faded into haze.

  Ash’s route for our impromptu tour had us going up the coast all the way, the ocean almost always in view, in case the surf looked good. The path of my relationship with Simone was much more obscure.

  We got up on the Five for a little jog but got off at La Jolla Parkway rolling through hills of pines and expensive houses. Ramon opened a bag of chips and passed around some sodas. Everyone munched noisily until the SDSU campus came into view. The interior of the van fell into an uncomfortable silence. Feeling Simone’s tension, I reached for her hand and squeezed it.

  My stomach roiled as chaotically as the surface of the ocean had on the day that changed everything.

  I should have told her I was sorry for all she had given up. I should have said that I understood her loss. But Ash broke the tension with a loud belch and of course Patch had to one up him.

  The awkward moment passed.

  But I wondered if the feeling that I represented a consolation prize to her forfeited college dreams ever would.

  After a brief bathroom break at the beach facilities at Torrey Pines State Park we entered the historic 101 with its charming string of beachside communities. Solana. Cardiff by the Sea. Encinitas. Carlsbad with its arch and Oceanside with its patriotic banners. Then a really long section away from the ocean through Camp Pendleton’s undulating hills where Patch had lived for a long time when his dad had been a staff sergeant.

  Finally we reached San Clemente with its iconic red roofed white washed buildings spilling down the hillside to the Pacific. Even though the trip had taken longer than we had anticipated we still made it to the rooftop club in the postage stamp downtown in plenty of time. Patch and Ash went inside the building to finalize the financial arrangements with the club’s owner and Ramon took off mumbling something about printing off handbills for the show. I turned to Simone and proposed that we find something to eat.


  She agreed. We took the downhill path from the public parking lot, her stride graceful while I struggled not to limp. We passed consciously by the surf shop peering inside the other window displays but nothing caught her eye. I resisted the urge to take her hand. I wasn’t sure if she would allow it.

  We found a burger joint at the end of the block. I needed to rest my leg. It was just about to give out.

  “Will this do for dinner?” I asked. The wind had blown her hair into her face. I wanted to brush the satiny locks over her shoulder so I could see her lovely features better.

  “Sure. It’s perfect.” I put my hand on her arm and curled my fingers into her soft skin trying not to think about how all the rest of her might feel as I escorted her to the counter. I gave several interested guys looking her way the proprietary glare while she perused the chalkboard menu.

  We both ordered malts and burgers hers with extra jalapenos. I located an empty booth in the back and steered her toward it. She scooted in moving to make space for me on her side, peering up at me expectantly. No way was I going to pass up the invitation to sit beside her again, my thigh touching hers like it had on the drive from OB.

  I folded in and she touched my thigh seeming hesitant. “Why don’t you put your leg up on the bench on the other side?” Obviously she was nervous about my response to her suggestion. “If you want to, that is…I mean…it’s got to hurt, right?”

  Yeah, she had probably noticed my grimacing and was feeling sorry for me. Thus the invitation to sit on her side. Hot bitterness churned in my gut. Who the hell was I anymore? What good was I to her? And how long could we go on pretending that things hadn’t changed?”

  When our food arrived, I took a couple of bites but mainly just moved my food around. I had lost my appetite. I noticed she had, too.

  “Mona, you should eat more.” I touched her hand. She looked down at where my hand rested on hers and covered my fingers with her own before looking up at me.

  “So should you, Linc.” Hope unfurled inside me like a ray of light breaking through the clouds. I didn’t fail to notice this was the first time she’d called me that since I had screwed everything up for us.

  “Fair enough.” The knot in my gut loosened. She was cute as hell being stubborn on my behalf and I so liked my hands folded in hers. I pointed to her plate with my chin. “You eat half of yours and I’ll do the same. Deal?”

  She nodded. I slid out my hands and we both began to eat in earnest. As I finished a bite I worked up the nerve to ask something that had been bothering me. “What did your mom say when you told her you were leaving with us?”

  She tensed. “I didn’t tell her. I haven’t spoken to her since…” She trailed off and I filled in. “Since your old man clocked you?”

  She dumped her half eaten burger in her basket and nodded.

  “You haven’t had any contact with her at all?” I pressed.

  “No I haven’t.” She dipped her chin, her hair sliding forward shielding her face. “Why should I? She was there, too. You saw her. She didn’t do anything.”

  She was right. At least with my dad it was pretty straightforward, just him being a drunken asshole loser and me. She’d been betrayed by two parents.

  “I’m sorry, Simone.” I located her clenched fist in her lap and brought it to my lips brushing a kiss across her delicate knuckles, keeping her hand in mine and forcing her fingers open so I could thread our fingers together. She didn’t lift her head for a long moment. She seemed to be staring at our hands again. When she finally looked at me her eyes were brimming.

  “Where do we stand, Mona?” I found myself asking though I feared the answer. “I love you, but I’ve ruined everything for us, haven’t I?”

  She pulled in a sharp breath.

  To work up the courage to tell the truth or to formulate a lie, I wondered.

  “I love you, too, Linc.” Her eyes were steady on mine but she blinked a couple of times as though something had gotten caught in her eyes.

  I knew she was waiting for me to say something in return. I should have. I so wanted to believe her but I couldn’t. Not really. In life and surfing timing is everything. Those beautiful words came too late to control the current that was already carrying her away from me.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  * * *

  Simone

  Later at the motel after the Dirt Dogs inaugural road performance, I was the last one to get the shower. I washed my hair using the dregs of the complimentary shampoo provided by the single room that the five of us shared and reflected on the evening.

  The show had been a rousing success. The band had been tight. The guys had obviously been practicing a lot before leaving OB. But Lincoln had stolen the show sitting with a hip hitched on a stool crooning into the mic, his effortless charm winning over the standing room only crowd. The flirty half smiles and winks he cast made the women in it go crazy.

  I had stood off stage in the shadows nursing a diet coke throughout the hour and a half long set. I had to be careful with my funds. Though he’d invited me, though I’d come, there had been no talk about the future and after his silence at dinner when I’d made my feelings clear I was more uncertain than ever that his future would include me at all.

  Stepping out of the shower onto the sodden bathmat, I dried off and slipped on my pajama set, a new one with ties on each shoulder and ruffles on the short hem. I’d never gone back to my house. The few clothes I had now were either hand me downs from Karen or those I had purchased from the clearance rack at Walmart.

  When I left the bathroom, switching off the light behind me, the room was nearly pitch black. Someone was already snoring softly. A swath of light from the crack in the curtain pointed the way to the pallet I had made on the floor. The guys had been so hyped up rehashing the highlights of the show and counting the two hundred dollars they’d cleared that they almost completely forgot me.

  I glanced at the dark lumps in the double beds. Patch and Ramon occupied the one by the bathroom. Ash and Linc were on the other, but I couldn’t tell which side Linc was sleeping on. If I could have I might have said something to him, might have put myself out there, touched his strong shoulder, whispered in his ear and maybe even invited him to join me on the floor.

  Feeling alone, I bit my lip to hold back the sting of tears. This wasn’t at all how I had imagined things would be. I moved toward the window and peeked out through the slit in the curtains at the ocean and the moonlight sparkling on its surface. I heard someone stirring beside me.

  “Mona.” Warm hands squeezed my shoulders. Firm lips pressed a kiss to my temple. “Come to the beach with me.”

  His statement came off more like a question.

  I nodded my agreement. Linc reached for my hand shifting a blanket into the other one as he led me toward the door sliding a key card into the pocket of his cargo shorts along the way.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his skin was deliciously warm in contrast to the cool night air. We tiptoed across the parking lot together. Ash had mentioned that our route would take up the scenic coast all the way to San Francisco and that the motels he had booked were all within walking distance of the ocean.

  The guys might be testing out this rocker thing but they were still surfers at heart…especially Lincoln. My heart had squeezed painfully when I had noticed his board missing from the roof of the van.

  I sighed as soon as the bottom of my feet touched the soft sand and I snuggled tighter into Lincoln’s side pulling in deep breaths of ocean and him, the first easy breaths I had managed since we had parted ways after dinner.

  He spread out the blanket between two dunes that provided a modicum of privacy shielding us from view. I immediately plopped down brushing off my feet before scooting to the middle, my gaze to the ocean as I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them.

  “Babe,” he called softly as he dropped down beside me. “I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier, all evening r
eally.” He sighed and ran a hand through his mop of hair. “This is really tough for me, finding who I am again, who I want to be for myself and for you. It’s harder than I thought it would be finding my footing. Pun intended.” He chuckled wryly. Surfers were very particular about foot placement on their boards, but even in the moonlight I could see that the laughter didn’t reach his eyes.

  “I understand, Linc. Really.” I swiveled to more fully face him touching his bristly cheek, running my fingers reverentially over the masculine planes of his face, stopping at his lips as he stared into my eyes. “It’s hard for me, too for a lot of reasons. But please can we work through things together? It hurts when you shut me out.”

  “I’m sorry, Simone. My sweet Simone.” He leaned closer his breath warm on my lips before he touched his to mine. I nearly shuddered from the ecstasy of having his mouth on mine once more. It had been too long. My hands plunged into the thick strands of his hair and wrapped around the base of his skull to bring him more fully into me, telling him, begging him to deepen the kiss.

  His strong hands on my nearly bare shoulders, he pushed me back onto the blanket granting my request, slanting his mouth over mine, licking the seam between my lips, slipping his tongue between and sliding it seductively along mine. Arousal bloomed immediately, hot, heavy and undeniable.

  When he lifted his head several long breathtaking moments later, my lips felt deliciously sensitive and swollen. “Don’t stop.” My fingers tightened on the taut muscles of his shoulders.

  “Not planning on it, babe. I just didn’t plan on this. Not really. I hoped. God I hoped, but I didn’t bring protection.” His blue eyes glowed with regret in the moonlight.

  “It’s ok.” I reached up and skimmed my fingertips across his gorgeous sculpted lips, silky soft but firm, the full bottom one still wet from our kiss and dipped my forefinger into the masculine v of the top one. “I’m on the pill.”