by S. K. Lessly
We walked on the boardwalk to find one store about to close. The salesperson saw the state we were in and felt pity on us. She let us buy two Rehoboth Beach T-shirts and towels. I got a long, flowy, funky tie dye dress as well. We took advantage of one of the outside showers to rinse off most of the sand before I crept inside one of the bathrooms to change.
When I emerged from the bathroom, Ethan had already changed into the t-shirt he bought, and a pair of basketball shorts he clearly didn’t have on earlier. He also had on a pair of Nike slides with no socks. I eyed him up and down then chuckled when I got to his ankles. His skin had been kissed by the sun all over but when you got to his ankles and feet, you could tell they had been deprived. Part of his ankle and feet was very pale compared to the rest of him. It was odd. Even though he was a ginger, he didn’t have a problem with tanning like most redheads. I figured he got that part from his mom’s side of the family. She might have looked pasty back in the day, but she still had some color to her leathery skin during the summer.
I grinned up at him as I took in his very pretty feet.
He narrowed his eyes at me.
“What?”
I shook my head, giggled then said, still smiling, “You have the prettiest feet I’ve ever seen.”
I laughed. He did not. “Fuck you, Lexie. Get your ass in the car.”
On the ride home, we talked the entire way there, going back down memory lane talking about the science fairs we participated in, the movies we stayed up to watch on weekends, the bike rides and so many other fond memories. It was as if I had my best friend back. As if the awkwardness of almost kissing was a distant memory.
It wasn’t for me. My body was still humming with need. He was so close. We were so close to changing the status of our relationship and I had to say, I wasn’t opposed to the change.
When he finally pulled up to my childhood home, I felt the sadness starting to creep back inside. I tried to shake it off as I exited the car, but I could feel it creeping up my throat ready to choke me to death.
I wanted Ethan to stay with me, in more ways than one. I knew, however, that wasn’t possible. He had a life back in D.C. and, I hated to admit, someone special probably waiting for him. I started to feel guilty not asking after that special person, especially since I wanted to stick my tongue down his throat. However, he didn’t volunteer the information either. It didn’t matter either way. What we had was a distant memory, in the past. It died when he moved away. When we left the beach. I should never forget that.
Ethan walked me to the door, stood at the top of the steps and fished my keys from his pocket. I took them from him and headed for the door. I inserted the key, unlocked the front door, opened it, but stayed planted where I stood. I couldn’t move, couldn’t say goodbye. I kept my hand rested on the knob, the screen door resting against my hip, my back to Ethan, waiting. For what? I had no clue. No, that wasn’t true. I knew for what.
There was so much I wanted to say to him ever since I saw him that day at the reunion. But, for some reason, I hadn’t had the guts to bring it up or it wasn’t the right time. I also wasn’t sure when I would ever get to see him again. I needed to talk to him. I needed to find out why he abandoned me all those years ago. I might never get this chance again to say all I wanted to say. It was now or never.
I turned around to face him and stepped away from the screen door, letting it shut behind me. I had the words ready to fall from the tip of my tongue, but the words died in my throat. I could barely breathe, much less think clearly.
His eyes. They were on me, unguarded, penetrating, anguished yet desperate. They seemed to bare into my soul, as if he could see everything about me, my fears, desires, wants and needs, and I swear he looked as if he wanted to take care of every last one.
I had to stop looking at him like this. This was Ethan, my friend. He didn’t think of me as anything but. He’d made that known twelve years ago. Hell, ten years ago too. I shouldn’t want him to want me. I shouldn’t want him to see me. I shouldn’t...
I finally got up the courage to look away when I noticed his green eyes darken with something I could only describe as pure unadulterated lust. He growled, literally growled low under his breath but I didn’t miss it. He moved to come closer to me and I knew if he touched me in any way, things would get way out of hand. They couldn’t. I couldn’t.
I closed my eyes as I felt his arm wrap around my waist. He pulled me to him, one hand resting at the small of my back, the other cupping the side of my face. He tilted my face up to his and I could feel him watching me, waiting.
I should step away. I should back up and tell him no. But I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t speak.
“Alexis.” Gah, that voice of his… So deep. So dark. So heady. “Look at me, baby.”
The moment I opened my eyes, my body melted. What I saw in his eyes, the need, the want, the desire, had my heart exploding. This was Ethan. The man I had wanted since forever. And he was here, holding me. I… I didn’t know what to do. Things were so messed up right now. I had baggage and he had… I didn’t know what he had. I wasn’t sure what this was or what was happening. I just knew we couldn’t do this.
Ethan, sensing the war battling inside me, closed his eyes and sighed. He rested his forehead against mine and brought me closer into his body. I instinctively wrapped my arms around him, reveling in the feel of his body against mine.
God, he felt good. Smelled even better. My heart and soul wanted him; I wasn’t denying that truth. My body needed him, which was evident by the throbbing between my legs. But again, I couldn’t have him. Not like this. Not now.
We held each other for a long moment, each of us needing the closeness desperately. This was goodbye and I didn’t think either one of us wanted to let go.
When he finally leaned back from me, the yearning I had seen in his eyes was gone. Thankfully, regret wasn’t in its place. However, resolve was, which, admittedly, felt worse.
“Thank you,” I said softly, needing to say something.
Ethan gave me a sexy smirk. “Anytime, Lex.”
Before he stepped back, he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Anytime.”
I hated feeling the distance between us. I could feel sadness beginning to rear its ugly head again, but I refused to break down.
I took a few deep breaths before I looked back up at him. “You’re a good friend, despite me being crude and mean to you. And despite my behavior, you stayed. You didn’t have to, but you did. So… thanks.”
Ethan touched a finger to the side of my face as his reply.
We held each other's eyes for a moment longer before I broke the silence. “Umm…it was good seeing you. I hope to see you again.”
He gave me a chin lift. “Yeah, it was good seeing you too.”
The sides of my mouth curled up slightly and I turned away, praying he didn’t see my eyes get watery.
“Take care of yourself,” I offered over my shoulders and pulled open the screen door to step inside.
“Hey, wait a second.” Ethan touched my arm causing me to pause, one foot inside the house. His touch ignited my entire body and I couldn’t bring myself to fully turn around to face him, pesky tears being the culprit. “What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked me.
“Oh, ummm…” I took a few deep breaths again and tried to sound upbeat. I turned, hoping the shadows of the porch would hide the tears.
“Nothing at the moment.”
He replied softly but firmly. “Well, now you do. I’ll pick you up tomorrow about eleven am.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t you have to get back to D.C.?”
He shook his head. “Nope. The, uh, deal we were working on is over. We got the contract. I have some down time and I’m going to spend it with you.”
“Ethan, you don’t have to. I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know you will. I’m not staying here out of pity, Lex. I don’t have shit else going on. You and I have plans tomorrow and
that’s final.”
I laughed. Giddiness flowing through me in a rush. This wasn’t goodbye. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing, but I would take it.
“Okay. You’re on.”
“Good!” Ethan backed up, keeping playful eyes on me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lex Luther.”
The sides of my mouth curled up. “See you, G.I. Joe.”
He rewarded me with a huge, shit-eating grin before he turned and headed for his car. I stood there and watched him drive away before I turned, stepped inside the house and closed and locked the door.
I didn’t run to my room to cry my eyes out. I actually walked to my bedroom with a huge smile on my face. I was going to see Ethan again. Maybe things were looking up for me. Maybe he would become the distraction I needed from dealing with life. Yes, I’d gladly take what Mr. Wolf had to offer. I’d put on my adult pants on later.
PART II
Chapter Ten
Alexis
“…6,7,8…shit!"
I laughed. “Boardwalk, baby. Pay up, sergeant grumpy pants!”
“Sergeant grumpy pants? Really?” Ethan rolled his eyes dramatically.
I shrugged and sent a grin his way. “I figured you’d like that better than sergeant loser’kins.”
Ethan threw me an evil look before he started counting his money, which made me laugh even more.
We were camping out at my parents’ house for the night, taking a break from the hotel life we’ve been living for some weeks now. We had our air mattresses set up in the back room and enough food to last us at least until the morning. We were having a ball playing board games and cards, listening to a hip-hop station from Philly jam with the latest rap, reggae, and house music. I had just beaten the snot out of him in Spades, Uno, and Connect Four. Now we had graduated to Monopoly and I was spanking his ass in this game as well.
It was Saturday evening. The night was a cool, wet and noisy. Lightning skidded across a dark sky and loud thunder periodically erupted around us, scaring the crap out of me. However, the state of the weather outside did nothing to dampen my mood.
We were set up in the kitchen. All of the windows were up so I could enjoy the cool damp breeze. We were on our third beer and had consumed a crap load of tequila shots. To say I was a little inebriated would be an understatement. I wouldn’t call myself pissy drunk, or frat boy wasted. I was more along the lines of comically drunk. In other words, everything around me was hilarious, like Ethan landing on Boardwalk, which I owned, as well as Park Place, and having to give me his left kidney to remain in the game.
I was having the time of my life. We were celebrating, in fact. Well, I was celebrating. He was along for the ride. I had a list of things to celebrate but the most important thing was that I was free.
Yes, that was right. I finally did it. I gave Lionel his walking papers. I couldn’t believe I did it. It happened so fast; I didn’t have time to think about it. I just did it.
It happened several days after my mom passed. I had been sitting on the porch of my house, waiting for my realtor to arrive so we could talk strategy on selling my parents’ home when Lionel showed up. I watched him with trepidation flowing through my body as he approached the house.
He had been calling me nonstop for days and I hadn’t picked up. I didn’t feel the need to. There wasn’t anything I wanted to say to the man, and I couldn’t stomach hearing him talk. Just thinking about him irked me. Not to mention he abandoned me in my time of need. He didn’t even offer to stay, not that I wanted him here anyway, but it was the principle of the matter.
Moreover, once he arrived for my mom’s funeral, he barely acknowledged my existence. He didn’t even ask me if I needed him for anything, or if I was okay. As soon as he had the opportunity, he bailed on me. Therefore, yeah, I had no words for him.
Lionel had exited his black on black Lexus, stiff and guarded. I’d stilled myself, preparing for a fight I knew was coming. I took the man in, clocking the scowl on his face, the tension in his shoulders. Despite the pinched face, he was a good-looking man. He was dressed in a dark maroon polo shirt that fit snug against his chest. He wore tan khakis and his favorite pair of dark brown Kenneth Cole shoes.
Lionel had always been a well-put together individual. His hair was always shaped up and lined sharply. His nails were always cleaned and groomed. His teeth, boy they were white as snow. The man was a perfect package until he opened his big… fat… mouth.
“So, are you planning on coming home at all or should I ship your shit down here?”
Yup, Mr. Perfect himself!
I’d narrowed my eyes and waited as he took the few steps that led to the porch and made himself comfortable on the banister in front of me. He’d folded his arms in front of his chest and gave me one of his disappointed looks. In the past, I used to cower at that look. I’d give him anything he wanted, said whatever I needed to in order to spare myself the wrath of his tongue. That day, things were different. I had chosen to take my life back, to rid myself of the poison that was Lionel Stevens.
I didn’t respond to his remark. I didn’t think I had to. He didn’t give two shits about me. I was surprised he even cared to drive all this way just to talk to me. I gave him a look that displayed my disdain for his presence as well as anger, which made the hardness of his face soften.
He then quickly amended his earlier statement, which actually shocked me.
“Look, I’m not trying to rush you or anything. I know you’re taking care of business here. I just. Well, what I mean is…”
Just then, I heard the rumble of a heavy engine in the distance. Without my permission, the sides of my mouth started to curl into my cheeks.
Ethan’s Charger came into view, his top down, shades on looking like he should be America’s Next Top Male Model. Ethan pulled into my driveway, shut off the car, stepped out and sauntered to the porch. My eyes were glued to him. The way he strolled to me, the confidence, the dominant way he carried himself made my entire body blush on the inside. The man was just gorgeous, and he knew it.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, standing up and meeting him at the steps, completely ignoring Lionel and his scowling face. Ethan and I embraced in a tight hug that made my smile broaden.
When I stepped back from him, he lifted his sunglasses off his eyes and rested them on the top of his head. He then lifted his arm to show me a bag from Panda Express in his hand.
“I just came back from a meeting and wanted to stop by to check up on you and bring you something to eat before I headed to the hotel.”
Ethan’s presence had been a godsend these past few weeks. After the day we spent at the beach, he’d been keeping me company. He let me cry when I needed to, yell and scream when I was upset and made me laugh when I was down. I couldn’t have made it this far without him.
Ethan sent a glance toward Lionel before he made it back to me. “Did the people come by to pick up the last of the furniture?”
I nodded. “Yeah, they did. The place is now officially empty.”
I felt the tears start to well in my eyes, but I pushed them back. I’d have time to grieve the finality of my life later. I breathed out and gave Ethan a smile. “I’m waiting on Carnes to stop by so we can talk strategy.”
Jeff Carnes was my realtor. He’d promised me he’d sell my parents’ home for asking price if I wanted to sell, and I was really leaning that way. But renting also had its appeal.
“What time is he coming?” He looked at his watch then back at me.
“He should be here soon.”
“Okay, well text me when he leaves. Let me know what you decide, if you’re going to sell or rent. Although, selling is the best way to go.”
I chuckled and shook my head. Ethan had been pushing me to sell. He felt selling would be less hassle, but he didn’t understand the emotional ties this house had for me. I grew up in this house. There were so many memories here. It was going to be hard to let go.
I reached for the bag in hi
s hand, the smell of teriyaki chicken just now hitting my nostrils. “Yeah, I know. However, think about this, the house has been paid off. Wouldn’t it be great if I could rent it out and have it as an investment?”
“That sounds like a great idea, baby,” I heard Lionel say and both Ethan and I looked at him. I tried not to gag from the sound of him calling me “baby.” He never called me that, ever.
He continued. “Although, it may be a headache for us dealing with tenants in Dover and living in Philadelphia. But I think I can draft a contract pushing any liability to them instead of us, should they need maintenance on the property.”
I stared blankly at Lionel, trying to figure out his end game. It was nice that he offered to help me, which was as rare as a poor black person hitting the mega millions. On the flip side of that, it was also a messed-up thing to do, but I didn’t think he cared enough to suggest anything.
I was loss for words, so Ethan cleared his throat and spoke up for me. “That sounds like a good idea, Lionel. But unless you’re selling the house, you can’t make the tenant pay for anything broken unless they caused the incident.”
Lionel gave Ethan a malicious smile. “Oh yeah? Who’s the lawyer, me or you?”
My eyebrows rose at the comeback from Lionel. I couldn’t believe he had the guts to go against Ethan.
Ethan and Lionel were having a staring duel that would have probably lasted forever if I didn’t do something about it.
“Oh, okay Lionel,” I cut in. “Thank you for your information and offered help. I appreciate it.”
Lionel broke his staring match to look at me. He walked up to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He then pulled me tight to his side.
“Of course, baby. You know I got you.” He awkwardly brought his lips to my temple. I say awkwardly because I had placed my arm between us in an effort to push him away and failed.
Ethan smirked then coughed and I could have sworn he said “bullshit” under his breath.
“And with that note, I’m out,” he declared then looked up at me. “As I said, I stopped by to check up on you and to feed you. Knowing you, you haven’t eaten all day and it’s going on two o’clock. I'll see you back at the hotel, yeah?”
