Stigmata

by L M Adams

  Lucien, Jack, and I are talking to Jessica Lee from the Eventide Youth Center, surprisingly, people are showing up at the center… slowly. But when you’re desperate and have nowhere else to turn – I don’t know how much of an accomplishment it is to get them to come to the demon center where you can sell your soul for a hot meal – yes, that’s what one of those trash talking websites is actually telling people about the Youth Center.

  It doesn’t seem to bother Luey, he just nods, seeming pleased that people are showing up and lets Ms. Lee know if there’s anything else he can do, he will.

  But then Lucien is a good man, he doesn’t need people to like him for him to be kind, gracious, giving… it’s just who he is, and it may be the greatest secret ever kept.

  We wish Ms. Lee a wonderful evening and she leaves to find another drink and more of those coconut shrimp.

  “Kitty!” I call out finally, my curiosity getting the best of me.

  She sway-dances her way over to us, not in tune with the music being played – instead dancing to the music only she can hear.

  Bare footed and as crazy as ever… I finally accept she’ll never be ‘normal’. She’ll always just be our Kitty.

  “My dark queen,” she smiles up at me, a hint of madness reflected in both the grin and her pretty green eyes.

  “What is going…” I trail off as I look down in her hand and see she’s holding food in a napkin.

  My brain takes a moment to process what I’m seeing; it takes another moment for my brain to accept what I’m seeing and then come up with a response.

  “Are you eating someone’s toes?!” I hiss at her.

  She nods, “Want some? They’re boneless.” She holds the napkin out to me… honest to god offering me one of the small, human, perfectly cooked, toe-nuggets.

  “Did you kill someone to eat?!” I look around quickly.

  “No, I didn’t kill anyone, they’re going to be just fine.”

  “How is someone just fine after you chopped off their fucking toes, Kitty?!”

  “Keep your voice down, Wench.”

  My eyes snap to Lucien, “Keep my voice down?” I hiss at him.

  He nods, “I cooked them for her – no raw human meat, that is the deal.”

  “You mean you knew about this?!” I yell finally, full of disbelief.

  “She told me the person will grow the toes back and she made an honest trade…”

  “That doesn’t make it better! Why are you helping her be crazy?!”

  “She was already crazy!” He yells back at me.

  Jack turns his back on us, but I can’t mistake the laughter I hear.

  I try to calm myself, I close my eyes and count, “Where did the toes come from?”

  “I didn’t ask her, Wench, I find it better not to ask such things when it comes to Kitty.”

  I open my eyes to glare at the crazy cannibal zombie-witch.

  “You know I don’t quite recall, but I gave them a fairly powerful spell – fair exchange is never a robbery…” she says in that bat-shit crazy sing-song voice she uses.

  “I’m done! I’m just done… now people think I’m serving human at my wedding!”

  “Kitty, go finish your meal in private,” Lucien orders the crazy witch.

  She pops another toe in her mouth before she goes and my stomach gurgles with disgust.

  Goddess help me I start looking around for someone to be limping, but no one looks in pain. I hope to god she really did make a fair trade for the toes, and it was done in private and will stay private… what in the fuck do you trade for toes anyway?!

  “Don’t be cross with me, Wench… she already had the toes by the time…”

  “I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to talk about it, I just… don’t.”

  Jack finally turns back around, his eyes watering with laughter, he’s breathing slowly through his nose…

  I huff, “You know, you don’t have to be so smug about it. I know, you were right about her.”

  “Of course I was, she’s insane… but we love her.” He clears his throat still trying to get himself under control, “I’ll have the guards walk the grounds to make sure there’s not a… a … a toe-less man hobbling ab….” Jack can’t finish the sentence before he’s turning away laughing again not a bit concerned about my death-stare…

  “Just go,” I mutter and Jack walks away head thrown back laughing all the while.

  “I am sorry, Wench.” Luey murmurs low and I sigh shaking my head as I begin smiling for some reason – of course Kitty had to do some crazy shit.

  “It’s okay,” I laugh, because sometimes you have to admit when you’re not going to win.

  Luey raises an eyebrow surprised, “Well seeing you are in a good mood now; the berserkers have asked for a boon.”

  “Fine, what do they want?”

  “They’d like to ask the women to dance,” he nods his head towards one side of the pavilion.

  The women from Camp Haven are all clustered together chatting on one side of the large stone patio, across from them, on the complete other side of the patio are a few of the berserker boys, the ones not currently on duty.

  “I know… you said no dating, but would it be permissible for them to dance?”

  I can’t help but notice the women looking at the men with smiles and longing. When was the last time they’ve been out? To dance, to have fun, to be normal young women? When was the last time for the B-Boys?

  Fuck, it just wouldn’t be right for me to stand in the way.

  “As long as they remain respectful, no dallying in the park. They have to stay here in the pavilion where we can keep an eye on them. And the women are not to become distressed, Luey. No repeat of what happened in New York.”

  He nods, “Yes, Jaevia.”

  Lucien is at least gracious enough to not say out loud that he told me so. The women from Camp Haven want the kind of men the Berserkers are. But how do we do this safely? How do we keep what happened with Brianna from happening again?

  Or can I not do anything about any of it? Is this another case of needing to know when I’m not going to win?

  I tuck my concerns away as we sit down for the formal dinner. Everyone loves the food, even if the courses are uneven and don’t really match. Luey being Luey cleans his plate, then the rest of my plate and then looks around for anyone that seems like they won’t finish theirs… course after course and he still looks like he could have a bit more.

  I’m just looking forward to the cake… two servants bring it out finally, three large tiers, white frosting with black and white roses and silver accents… simple and elegant. The top has silhouette figures of Lucien, Jack and I – together. When I cut the first slice, the gooey chocolate pours out just like I wanted, and I smile like a schoolgirl when Jack takes my hand to suck the dripping chocolate off my fingertip.

  Yum.

  People cheer and laugh as we go to the front and do the human tradition thing of throwing a bouquet of flowers and a garter belt – well two garters, one from Jack and one from Lucien.

  The unmarried women have to gather in the front as I turn my back and throw the flowers over my head. I understand the directions, I just don’t get it – how does catching flowers tell you if you’re ready to be married?

  Yet everyone cheers when I throw them, and they’re caught. I turn around to see Némion standing stunned with the bouquet of black and white roses in her hand. I don’t think she meant to catch them – it was Harper that harassed her into gathering with the unmarried women in the first place.

  I laugh as I step to the side and let Lucien and Jack move to the front to throw the black garters… Némion stands to one side, eyebrow raised with disdain as the unmarried men gather.

  Oddly enough, Harper is the only one to lunge for the garters, still, one lands near Kiah – the young berserker picks it up from the ground and promptly delivers it to Harper… very carefully avoiding eye contact with Némion.

  I don’t understan
d the problem until Némion sits in a chair and Harper joins her, kneeling in front of her, to put on the garter. Even with Harper being Harper, he moves very carefully as he removes her shoe and slips the black material over her perfectly arched foot and up her smooth dark leg to rest on her thigh.

  No one but Harper is allowed to even touch Némion – like hell Kiah was going to risk life and limb on a ridiculous human tradition.

  But no matter, it works out. Harper looks up at Némion from his knees with nothing but adoration, “Love you, Nemy.”

  “Do not get any ideas, Harper.”

  “Like asking you to marry me?”

  Némion’s eyes actually widen with shock – she suddenly looks like a trapped deer… with fangs. It’s sort of terrifyingly adorable.

  Harper smiles, “Do not worry, I know my place.” He pulls back to get on all fours, head bowed in the perfect posture of a giver.

  A shudder runs through Némion as she slips on her shoes again, stands up and puts back on her armor. She pats her thigh before she walks away and Harper crawls right behind her like an obedient puppy to the cheers and laughter of the berserker boys.

  I can’t help but shake my head laughing… Well what would an Eventide wedding be without at least a little kink?

  The real party begins. Jack hired out a full cover band to sing the songs from the pop list of the human 90s – I guess a D.J. playing the tracks just wouldn’t do for Jack. The band is really good, and everyone seems to enjoy them, so I don’t take issue with the fact that Jack just went behind my and Lucien’s back and changed whatever he didn’t like about the wedding.

  Sometimes you just have to let people be how they’re going to be, and Jack is a conniving, deceitful, egotistical, vampire king and if I didn’t accept and love even that about him, I had no business marrying him.

  But where I have to draw the line, is Matthias and Ariella.

  They’ve been kneeling in the conservatory for hours. The wedding started at noon, the sun is close to setting now… that has to be seven or eight hours. Yet still, every time I walk past the building, they’re still there, kneeling, heads bowed, waiting for their king to take pity on them. Everyone at the wedding ignores them – everyone here knows the unspoken rules. The king has made a decree, don’t fall out of favor by being associated with the unfavored. If I don’t say something, no one will… because I really doubt Lucien cares.

  I look over at Jack dancing with Tricia, smiling, happy not concerned one bit about his ex-wife or his ex-whatever Matthias is to him. Enough is enough, Jack either needs to kill them, forgive them, or just move the fuck on.

  The song Tricia and Jack are dancing to comes to an end and I tactfully pull Jack away from the dancefloor and the very full dance card he seems to have. Jack is a suave beast after all and the ladies all want a dance with him.

  “I need to talk to you,” I murmur gently.

  “What’s wrong? Tired of sharing me?” He gives me one of those heart stopping smiles, “I am always all yours.”

  “I know,” I mumble refusing to be distracted by his delicious physique and his smooth talk.

  We walk a fair distance away from the small pavilion and out into the manicured greens over near the small bubbling creek before I say anything.

  “Jack…” I sigh, “you have to do something about Ariella and Matthias. I thought this was about feeling them out to start a ‘new-age clutch’.” I wave a hand errantly towards the conservatory, “how is this doing that?”

  He looks away, “I know… and I swear that was my intention. But…”

  “But you’re still too angry to even talk to them, aren’t you?”

  He nods.

  “Then send them on their way. This serves no purpose and honestly… I don’t want my wedding to be this. If they aren’t family or friends… why are they here?”

  He closes his eyes and blows out a breath, “I think I just wanted to rub their noses in it… I know petty.”

  I take his hands in mine, “Petty beyond belief… but understandable. Just – decide what you want to do here Jack, if you want to punish them, do that. You want to forgive them, do that. You want to send them away and forget they even exist, do that… but make up your mind about it.”

  He nods, “Yes Mistress.”

  I sigh, “I’m not ordering you…”

  “I need you to,” he looks at me, blue silver eyes filled with pain.

  That’s the thing about being a submissive, in a lot of ways it simply absolves you from having to make decisions. Jack is in that place now, unable to decide what to do and so he does nothing. He needs someone to tell him what to do and I am his Mistress – it’s my responsibility.

  Most men chafe and giving up that sort of control, but Jack isn’t like most men.

  “Send them on their way,” I say firmly.

  “Yes, my Queen,” he bows his head and pulls away to follow his queen’s orders… just like that… I wonder if he would have followed my orders if I’d told him to kill them.

  Something tells me he would, and he would have hated me for all of eternity over it.

  42

  Jack – I loved you once

  I slip into the conservatory quickly, it’s quiet… everyone is out on the pavilion enjoying themselves. I understand why Jaevia wants them gone; I understand why she didn’t want them here in the first place. In all honesty, I don’t know what I thought would happen; I don’t know why I thought I could keep my emotions in check.

  Stupid Jack, so fucking stupid.

  The two vampires I once loved most in the world are still kneeling, heads bowed, waiting patiently for me to take them back as I’ve done so many times in the past. No matter how far, or how long we are parted – we always find our way back to one another.

  But now that has to come to an end.

  They’re framed beautifully, dressed in all white in this center of life and love held captive in a construct of glass and metal. The flowers in full bloom, the gentle gurgle from the fountain, the smell of magic. Some part of me aches inside seeing them there… waiting for me, some part of me knows they loved me in truth, or at least in their own way and it’s not all their fault that things didn’t work between us – it’s just become so damn complicated I don’t know how to sort it all out, I don’t know how to make peace with the past, or myself, or them.

  I stop a few feet away from the two people I thought would always be by my side, “My wife doesn’t want to see you here any longer, you can go.” I try to keep it short and simple and lean on the fact that my queen has ordered me to do this, I will follow her orders and not think about it at all.

  “That’s it?” Ari asks looking up to me from her knees, her eyes filled with tears, she looks to Matthias confused, “You said he would punish us, but he’d take us back.” Her voice is dripping with fear, sweet and sticky with it. Ari has never had that type of voice.

  Matthias gets up and helps Ariella to her feet… something isn’t right, her body is trembling lightly and her pulse beats far too quickly – like a jackrabbit being hunted by a hound.

  “Go back to the car, I’ll be there soon…”

  “But you said…”

  “Shh, darling, we’ll talk about it in private,” he kisses Ari on the forehead gently. She only glances at me oddly before turning and leaving without saying a word or sticking up for herself in any way. Ariella has never been that kind of woman.

  “What’s wrong with her?” I nod in her direction as I watch her hurry outside.

  “Do you think Evzen has been kinder to us since your little rebellion?”

  “He’s hurting her?”

  “No…” and his eyes echo the same horror I just saw in hers, “… he’s having me hurt her… publicly, brutally – you know that’s his favorite game. She’s broken, I do what I can to prop up her psyche, but she isn’t a Blood Lord – she was not made for such things.”

  “You two should leave his clutch!” I say sharply.

  “I did
n’t know you cared,” he says stiffly.

  “I don’t.”

  “That’s a lie and you know it.”

  This was a mistake – what did I think I’d get from inviting them here? Some sort of closure? Some path to build a clutch with them? We have too much history – “This was a bad idea, you should go.”

  “Why, so you can get back to your pretender mates and your fake little life?” Matthias says snidely, “They aren’t even vampires, Cap!”

  Whatever kindness I had to give him gets swallowed up by his venom. Every time I try to be kind to a vampire – it always destroys me in the end. Weakness… I’m so fucking weak.

  “You will respect them, or you will die,” I step into his face, my fangs snapping down so hard it makes my gums hurt.

  He bows his head, tilting it to the side slightly, offering me his vein, “I submit to you in all things, my King.”

  Fuck, I want to bite him, I want to bite him and ride his body down to the ground as I feed on him. I want to feel his sweet blood pour down my throat as I listen to him moan and whimper with submission… fuck I want it so badly my gut squeezes with the need.

  But that’s exactly what he wants… he wants to know he can still hurt me, manipulate me, incite a reaction making me want him in some way – even if it is as a blood whore.

  I take a calming breath and retract my fangs stepping back, “Just go… we have nothing else to talk about.”

  He straightens up and looks at me, “Just like that? Go?”

  “What else is there? Go crawl back to Evzen and live that filth of a life you love so fucking much…”

  “Not until we’ve spoken…”

  “There is nothing left to say!” I snap at him wanting him to just be gone.

  “I will say my piece, Capaneus!” He rages at me, “If you want to punish me for that? Kill me for that? Very well, but I will be speaking my piece.” His eyes glow with power… he’d really risk his life to say what he needs to. “You owe me this at least.”