The Beast Within

by T. L Smith

  "You are an absolutely stunning beauty, has anyone ever told you that?" he said softly in a low, husky and very sexy voice full of desire.

  Julie knew that she was no plain Jane, but she didn't consider herself beautiful. Being with Luke, she could feel his desire for her and he made her believe. If someone as handsome and sexy as he, could imprint on her, could grow strongly attached in a very short time, well, . . . clearly she was more than just pleasant looking. She smiled at the thought that he wanted her forever, that he thought she was beautiful, and loved how he made her feel it. The emotion that swept over her like a breaking tidal wave, made her speechless as her eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry!" Luke said as he gently swiped his thumb across her cheeks, wiping the tears away as they fell. "I thought women liked to hear stuff like that!" he chuckled.

  His concern as well as his attempt to lighten the mood made her laugh and she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly to her. "You didn't say anything wrong. I'm just so happy that I found you, or that you found me," she chuckled, "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm so glad I did it!" She reached up and tenderly kissed his full and very soft lips which made her hum with pleasure. She could still feel her heart racing from the passion that had built up from their first kiss and just as she was going to show him how very much he meant to her, a sharp pain ripped through her middle causing her to gasp out in pain.

  Luke pulled back with concern. "Julie, honey, what's wrong!??" He started to ask what hurt and where, when Julie screamed, folding into a fetal position, as another pain seized her. "OH MY GOD, Luke, what's happening to me??" she cried.

  Suddenly Luke realized what it was. This was the day of the new moon, and that was what was happening to her. It was the beginnings of her first shift. Luke stood from the bed and reached down to gently pick her up and move her onto a pillow to help make her more comfortable. Seeing someone you care so much for go through this was apparently going to be a whole lot harder to watch than watching a stranger do it. Luke took a deep breath and, talking to himself as much as to her, he said, "Julie, it's time. Your shift is beginning. I wish I could tell you it will be short and painless, but I can't honey. This is going to be a long day, but I promise, I will get you through it!"

  Luke went to the bathroom and gathered a few towels he'd need, then searched her closet and dresser until he could find something loose and light. During the process of shifting, Julie would burn with fever and the clothing she was now in would only become extremely uncomfortable for her. Since nudity was not an issue with shifters, Luke didn't give it a second thought that he would soon see her completely naked. Luckily, to her benefit, the fever would make her unaware that he was changing her clothing. He knew that humans seemed to get hung up on nudity, if not embarrassed by it, but it couldn't be helped under the circumstances. He only hoped that he could take away as much of her pain as possible and get her through the process as easily and quickly as he could.

  Rejoining Julie at the bed, he sat on the edge and noticed she had calmed for the moment. At this stage, the pain would be intermittent and it gave him an opportunity to tell her a bit more about what was going to happen. He had wet a washcloth and now draped it over her forehead. She smiled gratefully and reached for his hand. "The full moon is tonight, isn't it?" she quietly asked. Luke nodded as he refolded the cloth to access a cooler spot.

  "It's going to be ok. What I hadn't gotten a chance to tell you was that I can connect mentally with you and remove some of your pain. I'm going to try to take most of it, but I'm afraid you will still feel some. You're going to run a very high fever during the process and probably will not really be conscious for most of it. But, don't worry, everyone does it and it all turns out ok in the end. Then, you will be a beautiful wolf and I will help safely guide you through your change and back to human. And when it's all over and you can think again, I want you to please consider being my mate, forever! Will you at least think about it, honey?"

  "No," Julie whispered. Luke stopped short on what he was doing and turned towards Julie. "What?" he asked, thinking he'd misunderstood what she'd said. Again, Julie said "No." Hurt flashed through Luke's eyes and he wondered if he'd pushed her to fast, if he'd misunderstood what he'd sensed coming off of her as self doubt.

  She saw his pain and quickly said, "I won't think about it because I don't need to think about it. I already know that I want to be yours and be with you forever."

  Visibly relieved by her words, he leaned over and gently kissed her. "Then it's decided," he said softly. "I will hold you to your words madam, when this is over," he said, winking at her. "I'll count on it," she said, with a smile lighting up her face.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  The next hours until the full moon were long and painful. Luke stayed close, maintaining his mental connection to absorb as much of Julie's pain as he could. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he struggled to help her. He had seen transformations full of writhing and screaming for some bodies that strongly resisted the change. For Julie, she would moan and curl up, trying to get away from the pain on some of the more intense changes. Luke kept a cool wet rag close by to wipe the sweat from her forehead, all while trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. As they neared the evening hours he could tell that she was struggling less. The amount of pain he was taking from her lessened and he knew that it was almost over.

  As he wiped her forehead, Luke noticed that her eyes were brighter, almost glowing. He'd had to turn down the lights a bit earlier as evidence of light sensitivity appeared. He reached out to her mentally to avoid her suffering through her sensitivity to sound. Her touch sensitivity was moving along, but he knew her skin would be tender until her fur came out, which shouldn't be much longer. "How are you doing honey?" Luke asked through their connection.

  "I'm tired, and I hurt like I've been at the gym for hours lifting weights!" she chuckled "I'd better be really buff after all of this!" As a smile spread across her lips, Luke knew she was handling it all very well, as he knew she would!

  "Don't worry about that," he said, "You are going to be a force to be reckoned with! I can't wait to see the beautiful wolf you'll become! MY wolf", he said a bit possessively. Julie rolled her head towards him, love shining in her eyes. "Forever," she softly said.

  As the sun set and darkness filled the night, Luke could feel the pull of the moon. He knew that it would only be a short time now before the new moon was high in the sky and they could both run free, exploring her new world together. The last stage would be the hardest, but also the quickest. Everything would happen all at once and it was painful on the first shift. Sometimes it would take the call of an alpha power to encourage the final change and he was excited to be able to help her into her new life.

  Luke cleared away things that could cause her any fear once she'd changed and opened the room door as well as the front door to give a smooth exit. Most other times they'd always change outdoors but for tonight it would begin alone, in private. He moved over to be by her side when he felt the final stage coming on. "Julie, here we go, honey. Remember, I'm right here with you and I won't leave you. There's no reason to be afraid as I would never allow anything, or anyone, to bring harm to you."

  As Julie looked up at Luke, about to tell him she wasn't afraid, pain was everywhere and she was on fire! Luke tried to take it from her but this was her initiation and she would have to carry it alone. When her ribs began their shifting, she cried out and rolled from the bed. Down on her hands and knees, her limbs began their shift and she filled the room with the sound of her screams. Her fingernails withdrew and were replaced with claws, knees popped backwards into place, her toes and fingers withdrew as they became paws while her body slowly became covered in a beautiful auburn colored fur coat. Upon the final transformation, Julie raised her head, nose pointed to the ceiling and beginning as a scream, she transitioned into her first howl. Unable to resist, Luke, having just shifted as well, raised his head and
joined her in their first call to the world that Julie had joined the shifter race.

  When she finished, she lowered her head and tried to shake the confusion from her mind. Everything seemed off, and very disorienting. Luke had known this was coming and he stepped closely to her, nuzzling her muzzle, trying to reassure her that all was well. As the transformation was completing within her brain, the moment of decision for her future lay open. The beast that her wolf could be, awakened and aggressively tried to take hold. Luke sensed it through their connection and, being ready for it, he pushed his alpha power onto her, being glad that this was the only time he'd ever have to do this! "SUBMIT!" he commanded to her beast, standing tall over her and demanding her to comply. A growl rose from deep within her chest, as a battle between woman and beast roared through her brain. Julie had seen what Levi had done when his beast was in control and she vowed she wouldn't let that happen to herself. The command being issued by Luke was pressing down on her, almost to the point of pain, but she knew it was for the good of her future. Luke could see the battle for control in her eyes as they shifted from the glowing, icy blue in the woman he'd come to know, to the hard steel blue of the wild beast struggling to come to the front. He could see the strong resolve in Julie, then the desperate struggle for power from the beast.

  As Julie's beast fought to surface and take control, Luke pressed out harder with the alpha power, forcing her down to her belly and causing her to whimper in pain. Inside he cringed at the pain he was inflicting, but he could sense the battle she was in with the beast and knew that they were close to being victorious!

  "SUBMIT!!", he commanded more forcefully, leaning down and taking her by the throat while a deep, threatening growl erupted from him. The beast tried to push back, fighting for the freedom she craved, only to make Luke tighten his hold a bit more. In a breath of resignation and with a whimper, the beast gave in and hung limply from Luke's jaws. They had won!

  Luke gently lowered Julie to the ground and licked her where his teeth had gripped. He lowered himself to lay next to her, nuzzling her, asking for forgiveness for his roughness. Julie laid still for a moment, checking her mind for any hint that her beast was only laying in wait for the opportunity to spring up and refuse to submit. Finding nothing but a peaceful silence within her, she rolled to her side, exposing her belly to Luke showing that she did in fact bow to his will and forgave him for any pain that was inflicted in bringing her beast to heel.

  She leapt up to all fours, then lowered to her front elbows in a request for play as well as an eagerness to see what waited for her on her first run. Luke ran a circle around her, yipping and nipping, enticing her to play, then bound off towards the nearby park that bordered the forest. He knew that the pack would be getting ready for the new moon run and he wished that he and Julie could join them but with the distance they'd need to cover, it would almost be over before they'd arrive. Speaking to her mind, he asked if she would like to head that way and meet the pack when they returned from their run. She eagerly accepted and together they headed through the park and into the forest towards those she would soon call family.

  * * * *

  As they ran, Luke silently wondered how Levi was doing and whether he would be joining the pack tonight. He wondered what would happen when Julie came face to face with him. He'd seen her compassion but couldn't help wondering if her beast would feel the same. He had sent Adam mental messages asking about Levi's progress on his practice for control with Sophie and himself. Adam had stated, though he was getting better, he wasn't sure it would be wise to let Levi and Julie come face to face so soon after reintegration and transformation, but that time would tell. Luke,nodded, acknowledging Adam's assessment of the situation.

  CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

  As Sophie led Levi out to a secluded meadow, far enough away from the others to avoid distractions, she chatted happily about their progress and how she thought his control had gotten so much better! He watched her as he followed her, marveling in her enthusiastic and positive attitude. He wondered how he'd gotten so lucky to have her come into his life.

  Violence and bloodlust had controlled him for so long that he had forgotten about any other way of life. Now, having spent the last week working heavily with Sophie and Adam to learn control over the rebellious wolf he still sensed inside, he was seeing and feeling so much hope for a life full of good things. He had lost his will to fight so long ago in his struggle to get out from under his beast and when it appeared that it would never happen, he'd retreated within himself to try to hide from the ugliness of what he'd become.

  Now, with the help of his new pack leader . . . and his niece, . . . Levi couldn't help but smile about his good fortune. He felt so much stronger now and he knew that their acceptance of him, and the resulting new happiness brought on by that acceptance, was what gave him the strength he needed to keep his beast at bay. The family he'd been forced to leave behind had left him defeated and alone. Now, he looked forward to the new family he was building and couldn't wait to claim a mate of his own someday and, without looking back, he'd leave his ugly past behind.

  "Levi! Are you even listening to me?" Sophie laughed as she waved her hand in front of Levi's face. Finally catching his attention from his wandering thoughts, Levi looked up at Sophie and smiled. "I'm so sorry Sophie, I'm afraid I got a bit lost in my thoughts. What did you say?"

  Sophie put her hands on her hips, cocking the right one out and said, "I was just asking if you were looking forward to the new moon run?" Her laughter danced across the air to Levi and he couldn't help but smile at her child like persona, not as immature, but rather the free spirit that children carried so easily. Clearly she had been kept safe from violence and harm throughout her life, as her easy going and trusting personality portrayed.

  Levi nodded, turning to Sophie, and holding her gaze he said, "I would like to see it happen, but you know as well as I do that it hasn't been approved just yet. I think I will have to jump through quite a few hoops with Adam before he'll allow it, not that I blame him."

  With that, Sophie's smile dropped a little and sadness crept into her eyes. "We all know that what happened in the past wasn't your fault. Ok, it was your wolf that killed so many, but it's not like you were in control, nor are you to blame. Levi, you have to stop being so hard on yourself over this. It was horrible, but it can't be undone nor changed, so you need to let it go and move on with your life. Now, what we need to do is just focus on practicing your control over your change as well as controlling the wolf once you've changed. When you can do all of that at your will and not your wolf's, it's home free from there!" Sophie threw her hands up into the air like she was discarding the bad events and smiled at him with a smile that lit up the whole meadow!

  Levi couldn't help but feel hope for the future with Sophie by his side! "Ok, that's what we'll do then! Let's get started!" Levi chuckled. He reached out and grabbed her hand and started jogging towards the spot they always practiced in. He felt lighter than air and more excited than a child at Christmas! He would show them all that he was in control from now on, and he would leave the past behind him!

  For the next few hours, he and Sophie worked to call his wolf out in small amounts, only to send it back before any more could change. After the first hour they would call enough of a change for his hands and feet to take shape into paws, with some fur slipping out as well. Once in a while his face would start to morph but Levi would concentrate much harder and regain control to push it all back to return to his human form. It was exhausting, yet invigorating. Levi hadn't been able to regain control of his human form once the wolf started out for many years. Sophie would squeal, jump up and down and clap when his human form returned then run to hug him in congratulations. After the end of each hour she would demand that he rest for a while so he'd retain his strength and not lose control. As it turned out, Levi felt like being at the gym and with each exercise he'd strengthen the muscles needed to transform between shapes, making him stronger than
he was the day before.

  He'd been so close to allowing a complete trans-formation, to prove his control, but then reason stepped in and he realized that if something went wrong, Sophie would be the only target for his beast. It was easy to force the wolf back then, because he'd never let any harm come to her while he was around. It simply wasn't worth the risk! His first full shift could only be when Adam or Luke was around to control him if things got out of hand.

  After several hours, they both decided that it was enough for today and started back. Walking side by side, they conversed casually like they'd known each other for years. Levi didn't usually believe in fate, but if it was real, there was a reason why his life had been what it was, and he was here now, with Sophie. He would move carefully from here forward, protecting her as his own, and maybe someday, . . . she'd be his own, forever.

  CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

  Nearing the wolf community, Luke reached out to Adam to check their status. He needed to know if Levi would pose a threat of any kind to Julie. Adam welcomed him back and said that Levi had spent the afternoon practicing with Sophie and all had gone very well. Levi was easily able to only partly release his wolf and was strong enough to pull him back without any problem. He was inclined to let Levi run tonight but wanted Luke's input on it.

  "Is there a way to wait until we arrive and we're both there in case something goes wrong. We've been making really good time on the trip home and should be there soon. Julie has proven to be a very strong wolf and hasn't faltered at all in keeping up, and I haven't gone easy on her so that I could test her abilities. She's handled the change very well!" Luke said, sending a mental image of the run to Adam.