One Little Bit

by Tey Holden

Addy’s heart went out to the obstetrician. You have no idea how interesting this is going to be! Karen’s thoughts must have been the same because they were both smiling.

  “So the bottom line is that, for whatever weird reason, you both want this baby. Am I correct?”

  “Yes.” Both women answered in unison as if orchestrated.

  “Hum.” Dr. Clarkson smiled enjoying the conversation, and oblivious to the fact that the reception area of the office was packed with patients.

  “So, Addy, is it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do you want Karen to have this baby?”

  Addy explained the whole ordeal of the accident and that she wanted Karen to have someone else in her life besides her. As Addy spoke, Karen rolled her eyes and shook her head. Dr. Clarkson continued to observe the women’s demeanor.

  “And you said you have a daughter?”

  “Yes, from a previous relationship. My daughter is in her twenties. I married young.”

  Dr. Clarkson smiled. As if figuring out that this case was getting more interesting by the second. “Hum, you were married before you met Karen?”

  “Yes, to a man.”

  Dr. Clarkson almost choked trying to suppress a chuckle. She couldn’t help it. The women looked at each other with amused eyes. “I’m sorry, but you two are, how may I say this? Different, unique? I just need to clarify something – you found out that you were gay after you had a grown daughter?”

  “Oh, I still don’t know if I am.”

  Dr. Clarkson looked more than amazed. “Oh?”

  Karen looked away to avert laughing, as Addy tried to explain. “Look Dr. Clarkson, I don’t lose sleep at night trying to figure out if I’m a lesbian or not. I don’t believe in labels, and I certainly don’t need one for us. All I know is that no other woman has ever interested me, and that I’m in love with this one.” She pointed to Karen, who looked very amused by Addy’s comments. “And this is not an overnight thing. We’ve been together for over five years now. We love each other, are now legally married, and have a great relationship including great sex.”

  This was when all hell broke loose. Dr. Clarkson just couldn’t keep it in anymore. She had a brief abandonment of professionalism and burst into laughter. Karen opened her eyes to Addy as if telling her to shut up. But neither could help smiling and laughing as well. The laughter was such that one of the nurses came into the office to check on them to see if all was fine. She also reminded Dr. Clarkson of her other appointments.

  “Yes, yes Martha, we are fine, go away. This is too good to cut short.” She continued to laugh and waved the nurse away.

  At this point, Karen intervened. She thought that the voice of reason had to make some sense of the whole situation.

  “Dr. Clarkson, before you send us to the psychiatrist on the 5th floor. Let me—.”

  “Wait, I just need to know this, you are a lesbian right?”

  “Yes, and I’ve known since I was fifteen years old. The most important thing here is that we love each other and that we want this baby.”

  “Oh dear, you don’t have to tell me that! I’ve known that since the moment you set foot in my office. However odd you are, you two seem to be very much into each other and you appear to get along great and from what Addy says, fireworks must go off in your bedroom very often. I think you guys have just become my favorite patients, and these are going to be a fun nine months! So why don’t I call the nurse so that she can prep you, and I can have a word with Addy while you get ready?”

  “By the way, you should call me Tiffany and I will say that you came very well recommended. Helena and I went to med school together.” The women smiled, and Karen went off with the nurse as soon as Dr. Clarkson buzzed for her.

  “So, Addy, is there anything you need to tell me about your partner that she didn’t say, and I should know?”

  Addy did not hesitate. “Yes. She’s a bit of a hypochondriac, and she will be unbearable for the next nine months.”

  Tiffany laughed. “I like you, Addy. You are sincere and to the point. No bullshit.”

  “You got it.”

  “So thanks for telling me about the bit of a hypochondriac thing, the unbearable part I was going to tell you about. It doesn’t get any easier with the progression of the pregnancy, as you know. And the fact that she’s not thrilled with the idea of the pregnancy will not make it easier on you. It’s actually you I’m worried about,” she smiled, “but I feel that you’ll do well. You seem to be very patient and know her well. I’m going to give you literature to look up so that you can refresh yourself on the happenings of every trimester. You know of all the hormonal changes and the crying and the mood swings, but it’s good to refresh your memory. Are you coming with me in there?”

  “I think she’d want me there. She’s hesitated about the pregnancy because she never thought she’d go through something like this, and because she thinks she’s too old. But, Tiffany, I know she will love that child. Trust me on this one.”

  “I believe you. I just wanted to make you aware of the mood swings and all that fun stuff.”

  “I know, and I thank you.”

  “All right. Then let’s go to the examining room.”

  “Karen, do you want Addy in the room with us?”

  “Of course! She’s the reason I’m here, and she’s not getting any free passes.”

  Tiffany looked at Addy, with a knowing look as if confirming the demands of the task ahead. Addy smiled. She was ready for the incoming avalanche, and Tiffany got her message as well.

  Tiffany found everything in order. She ordered lab tests, scheduled a sonogram, prescribed multivitamins, calcium and gave them the whole prenatal care speech. Two hours later they were leaving her office.

  When they left, Karen was driving. “Let’s get some lunch, I’m famished.”

  “Okay, what are you in the mood for?”

  “Umm! Thai, why don’t we find a Thai restaurant in the GPS?”

  Addy searched and found an eatery, which turned out to be very nice. They shared a plate of chicken Pad Thai and for dessert, they also shared a dish of sticky rice with mango. Addy loved it. Karen grinned and shook her head every time Addy moaned with pleasure when she put a bite of the sweet rice in her mouth.

  Part 4

  The first month of pregnancy passed quickly without any major event. Karen appeared and felt like her usual self. It was the next two months that nearly drove her up the walls. Although physically she was not showing any sign of pregnancy, the morning sickness began the second month and did not subside until well into the third.

  Karen had always been a very healthy person and was totally unaccustomed to her body not responding in the usual manner. Whenever she had the most minimal health issue, she’d make more of it than it actually was, thought the worse would happen, and there was always an endless flow of lamentations. An upset stomach was immediately attributed to a virus, a sore throat was for sure strep bacterial infection, and a headache was considered always to be a sign of a sinus infection. She just could not accept, much less understand that sometimes the human body may not function at 100%. Simply put, Karen was a hypochondriac and was unbearable whenever she was sick.

  Karen’s reaction to any bodily discomfort was to lie on the sofa or bed and to surrender to a sure death. Although in truth, she didn’t get sick much, it didn’t take much to have a bedridden Karen. Her recovery from the arm wound when Addy had her accident lingered for months. To aggravate matters, Addy always played into her ailments by pampering her to extremes. At the time of the accident, and in consideration for Addy’s precarious condition, Karen did not complain much about her arm and, in fact, diminished its gravity because she didn’t want to worry Addy, but as Addy recovered, Karen’s condition seemed to have gotten worse. Addy knew her well and thought it was cute, and loved to baby her.

  The first time Karen got sick, during the pregnancy, was right after the second visit to the obstetrician, when they decided to s
top for lunch at a local deli. While at the deli, Karen ordered and enjoyed a healthy turkey sandwich. However, as they drove home, the first signs of nausea occurred and what followed was like a near death experience in Karen’s mind. She simply thought that something was terribly wrong with her and that she would surely die.

  “Stop the car!”

  Addy immediately pulled to the side of the road, the car had barely stopped when Karen opened the door and spilled her guts holding on to the car door. Addy ran out and came to her side.

  “Addyyyyy! Addy, I think—.” She threw up again, and again. Addy stood by her and held her while Karen hung on to her arm and finished emptying her stomach.

  “Come on, let’s get you in the car and get home. We are very close.” Karen did as Addy said, but she continued to gag in the car. “What the hell is this? We need to call the doctor the minute we get home. Dear, God, I think I’m dying.”

  “You are not dying. Your stomach is just upset. You’ll be fine now that you got it all out.”

  Karen leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Two minutes later they were home, Karen immediately hurried to the bathroom and threw up some more. “I must have some kind of virus, or maybe it’s food poisoning. Call Tiffany and ask her what to do. The baby may be at risk.”

  Addy gave her a tissue to wipe her mouth and held her steady in front of the toilet. She knew too well that the not fun moments of the pregnancy had begun. Again and again, Karen threw up the little she had left in her stomach. “I don’t think I have anything else to throw up and yet I can’t stop! I need to sit or lie down. Damn sandwich, damn turkey! This cannot be a virus! This has got to be food poisoning. Maybe we should go to the emergency room, in addition to calling Tiffany. Did you call her already?”

  “No, I haven’t. I’ve been here holding you all the time.”

  “Go call her. But please, first, help me to the sofa.”

  Addy helped her and brought her the wastebasket from the bathroom where she could continue to throw up, if she needed while sitting on the sofa. Addy also brought the box of tissues with her and helped to clean her. Karen looked worn out and teary. After she had nothing else to vomit, the gagging continued. “Addyyyy, what’s happening? What is this?”

  “Baby, I’m afraid it’s morning sickness. I think your stomach was too empty because you were fasting for the blood tests and all of a sudden you ate too much. The thing here is not to eat too much but also not to have your stomach empty. We are going to keep saltine crackers and clear sodas available so that you can munch and drink every half hour and that will help your stomach settle.”

  “Addy, it’s not even morning, how could this be morning sickness?”

  Here we go! Addy went to the kitchen and brought her a clear soda. “You have to drink some of this. It’s worse when your stomach is empty.” Reluctantly, Karen took a sip of the soda and was surprised when she felt better. Her eyes were still watery.

  “I won’t eat anything right now. And I cannot possibly be eating every half hour. Addy, if I do that I’m going to end up looking like a blimp when this is over.”

  “No, you won’t. You’ll see.” Karen was sprawled on the sofa, one leg stretched on it, the other hanging down on the floor. This was how she liked to lay on the sofa. To add to the drama, she had one arm draped over her forehead, the other over her belly. Addy came over, lifted her leg from the sofa, sat and placed it on her lap and began massaging it. Karen liked the pampering and brought her other leg up so that Addy could rub it also.

  “Call Tiffany, please.”

  They had just come from seeing Tiffany, but Addy was going to do whatever it took to keep Karen happy.

  “Yes, hello, this is Adriana Marcos.”

  Karen took the phone from Addy’s hand. “And this is Karen Larsen, Tiffany just saw me. I’m pregnant, I’m throwing up, and I need to talk to her.”

  Tiffany did not normally take calls from patients. Everything was handled through her very expert nursing staff. “No, I do not want to speak to a nurse! I want to speak to the doctor. I think I pay to see a doctor and not a nurse! Please, save ourselves the trouble and just go get her!” Addy rolled her eyes and thought how she would have to apologize to the staff the next time they were in.

  Tiffany took the call when they told her who it was. “Hi, Karen, what’s going on? What’s all this commotion that you are causing with my nurses?”

  “I’m sorry, Tiffany, but this is a very serious matter. I am very sick here. I’m throwing up and would like to be seen.”

  Tiffany held back her laughter. “Karen, I just saw you about two hours ago and all was fine.”

  “Tiffany, I’m throwing up and I have nothing else to throw up, and I can’t stop gagging. Do you think this has to do with the baby, or do you think it might be a virus or food poisoning? I had a turkey sandwich on the way home.”

  Tiffany talked to her for some time and explained more or less what Addy had mentioned. “Now, may I talk to Addy?”

  Karen looked very contrite. “Yeah, here she is.”

  Addy smiled at her. Karen, who was still lying on the sofa, turned around and faced the sofa’s back.

  “Hi, Tiffany.”

  The first thing that Tiffany said to Addy was “Agree with everything I say. We need to boost morale.”

  “Yes, sure.”

  Tiffany continued. “I’m sure you know this is morning sickness.”

  “Yes.”

  “Keep her stomach full with saltines and soda. If she gets worse, bring her in, but you know how this goes! It’s not going to go away for a while, so she’s going to have to deal with it the best she can. If you need my help, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll tell the nurses to pass your calls. I understand and so do the nurses. Our job is to deal with women with raging hormones.” Tiffany laughed.

  “Okay, thank you, Tiffany, I understand. Have a good afternoon.”

  Karen was pretending to be asleep on the sofa. Addy covered her with a throw and bent down to kiss her. “Everything will be fine.” Karen began to cry. “Aaww, baby, come here.” Karen came to her safe haven and laid her head on Addy’s shoulder.

  “Addy, I don’t think I’m going to make it. I don’t think I’m cut out for this pregnancy thing.”

  “You’ll do fine. I will be right here with you.”

  “Oh, God, Addy, Hurry! Get me the bucket!”

  Addy handed the bucket over to her. She didn’t throw up. It was just that awful feeling and the gagging. Addy continued to hold her. A teary Karen asked. “How long does this last?”

  “Not long. It will be over soon and you’ll feel great after.” Karen continued with her whining. “I’m sorry I’m such a bother. I feel awful. I hate throwing up.”

  Yes, I’m sure the rest of the world loves it! “Baby it’s not you. These are your hormones trying to adjust. If it makes you feel any better you can start blaming me for your predicament.” Addy knew that the pregnant party always blamed the other party for creating the pregnancy so she was already prepared to take all the blame Karen threw at her.

  “And just how would that help me feel better? I can only blame myself for having agreed to this crazy idea. I told you I was not suited for this. This is my body telling me that it doesn’t want what’s happening. Maybe I’m not supposed to be a mother! Probably because I will be a bad one! Ha! What if this child turns out to be an annoying little devil? What if it makes our lives a nightmare? After all I’ve gone through!”

  Karen continued with her complaining and pessimistic outlook on the whole pregnancy. “Maybe he or she will hate me. I don’t even know what I’m going to do with it when it comes out! I never thought about this before! I should have planned this better, read more, prepared better. I’ve never gotten myself into anything that I couldn’t come out successful, and frankly not only do I not see me coming out of this successfully, I may not even survive it! I think I’m going to crawl under the covers and remain there for the next nine months until it’s all
over.”

  “Karen, your body is doing what the body of any pregnant woman does when she first gets pregnant. Your body is not telling you anything special. Every woman who has ever had a child has experienced this discomfort. This is not unique to your situation. Also, you will be a great mother and our little one will be adorable, and you will love him or her to the bone. Believe me, this will be worth your every effort, the reward will outdo all that you are going through.” Addy smiled thinking that they had only just begun and Karen was already thinking that she was going through a lot. Oh, God!

  At this particular point, Addy’s mind flashed scenes of things to come, Lamaze classes, Karen’s uncomfortably enlarged breasts, weight gain, inability to bend and reach down, difficulty moving and then the dreaded, and in Karen’s case, terrifying moment of birth. Addy tried to put all those images aside and told herself to take one day at a time. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Karen would be enchanted with her pregnancy. She also thought that Karen was not a candidate for a drug-free birth. Drugs would be needed for sure, lots of them!

  It appeared as if there would be no end to Karen’s grumbling. “Addy, I never planned to be a mother. I’m not prepared for this. I panic thinking about how this kid is going to come out! I feel like the woman in that Sigourney Weaver movie, what was it called? The Alien! That’s it. Like I have something inside of me and it’s going to be moving inside of me, and I don’t know if this is going to turn out well.” Karen went on and on as she continued to gag and gag, and occasionally cry as she continued to feel miserable.

  Addy listened, held her, and patiently caressed her. Karen might not have planned the course of action, but Addy had. She had told herself that no matter what the situation turned out to be, she would be patient, understanding, caring, supportive and loving under any and all circumstances.

  ***

  The throwing up and the gagging continued well into the third month getting worse before it got better. Eating and drinking sips of soda helped as Addy predicted, so eventually, Karen learned to control her malady. During that third month, Karen was so upset by her condition that she didn’t want to go anywhere. “Addy, I’m sorry I’m not much fun lately. I just don’t want to go anywhere feeling this crappy.” Then she’d start crying feeling guilty for not being fun.