Wicked Hearts

by L A Cotton

  “K?”

  I blinked over at Jack. “Yeah?”

  “You good with staying? I think it’ll be a good time, but if you want to leave, we can.”

  Something softened inside me at his words. “No, it’s fine. We can stay.” Despite Jack’s laid-back attitude, I trusted him. And Nick and Summer were here. We could find a spot and make our own fun.

  “Atta girl.” He attacked me with his mouth, curving his arm around my neck and drawing me closer.

  “If they’re going to do that all night,” Nick said from somewhere behind us. “I’m going to need more alcohol.”

  An hour later, and we had drunk some more. The guys had a collection of empty bottles stacked at their feet and Summer and I were on our third or fourth Solo cup, but except for a little buzz beneath my skin, I felt fine. Despite my earlier reservations about the party, it was kind of fun.

  We’d found a few garden chairs outside and carved out our own little corner. A few of Jack and Nick’s friends came by, and Summer had a couple of friends who tracked us down. But for the most part, it was just the four of us.

  “See,” Jack said, a lazy grin on his face. “I told you it would all be good.”

  I inclined my head, studying him. “Are you high?”

  Guilt flashed in his eyes. “I saw Dyson. He bought some of the good stuff. I only had a few hits.”

  Rolling my eyes, I angled myself away from him. I knew Jack got high. He’d never hidden it from me, but he’d never done that shit around me either. “K, baby.” His hand slid up my knee and dipped underneath the layers of my skirt. “Don’t be like that. I’m fine. It just relaxes me.”

  “Yeah, well I don’t need you relaxed.” My eyes snapped to his, glowering. “I need you alert.”

  He fought a smirk, leaning in closer, his hand brushing up my thigh. “Oh yeah, and why would that be?”

  “Little Kiera Lessinger? What a surprise.”

  No.

  Fuck no.

  A puff of air left my lips as I turned to face Remy Barton in all his asshole glory. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” His lip curled in that familiar half-smirk, half-sneer.

  “What’re you doing here, Remy?” This wasn’t his territory and he wasn’t a senior in high school, not that half of the people here were.

  “I’m friends with Cole, Tom’s cousin. Thought I’d drop by and see how the other half live. Surprised to see you here though.” His eyes hardened, biting into my skin as he ran them down my body.

  Jack stiffened beside me but didn’t say anything. Confrontation wasn’t really his thing, but I didn’t doubt he’d have questions as soon as we were alone. Questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

  “How do you two know each other?” Nick broke the stifling silence. “I’m Nick by the way. I go to school with Kiera.” He held out his hand, but Remy ignored it.

  Bastard.

  “Oh, me and Kiera go way back, isn’t that right?” He pressed his thumb against his bottom lip, still blatantly checking me out.

  “Something like that,” I mumbled, silently pleading with him to leave. Thankfully, someone yelled his name.

  “Guess I’ll be seeing you around,” he said too cockily. As if it was already a forgone conclusion that we would run into one another again.

  I knew he was back staying with his mom, his car in the driveway was reminder enough, but I’d managed to avoid him like the plague. It helped Mom didn’t like to be reminded of the ‘incident’ as she called her suicide attempt. As a result, she and Remy’s mom had grown apart the last couple of years, so I didn’t have to worry about coming home to find Sandra sitting in my kitchen.

  “He seemed... nice.” Nick grimaced as we watched Remy walk away.

  “He’s an asshole.”

  “Say it how it is, K.” Jack forced his lips into a smile, but I saw the accusation in his eyes.

  “I went to school with him,” I confessed. “He was a jerk then and he’s a jerk now. I can’t believe he’s here.”

  “We can leave?” Summer said.

  But leaving would mean letting him win. I hadn’t done that when I was still at Rotunda High, so I sure as hell wasn’t about to do it now.

  “No, we don’t need to leave, it’s fine. But I do need a refill.” I held my empty cup out for Jack who looked slightly more relaxed since I said I didn’t want to leave.

  “Sure thing, but you two stay put.”

  He and Nick left to get us more drinks and Summer watched me carefully. “Want to talk about it?” she said.

  “No, I really don’t.”

  I wanted to get buzzed, enjoy the party, and then have sex with my boyfriend. But even I wasn’t that good at pretending.

  I DIDN’T SEE REMY FOR the rest of the night, but I should have known he’d appear eventually. So when I came out of the bathroom and heard, “You know, you’re looking pretty fine tonight.” I was hardly surprised when he stepped out of the shadows.

  “Little Kiera Lessinger, all grown up.” His hand reached out and plucked a pink curl. He pulled, not hard enough to make me yelp, but hard enough that I stepped into him.

  “Get your hands off me.” I slapped him away.

  “Girl grew claws. I’d like to see what you could do with those.” He leaned in close, and I jerked away, my back hitting the wall. Remy’s hands slid to the wall either side of my head, caging me in. “You know, if you’re up for a little repeat...”

  “Touch me again and I’ll scream.”

  “Oh, baby,” his breath tickled my face. “It only makes it more fun.” He dropped a hand between us, splaying his fingers against my bare thigh.

  “Why, Remy?”

  “Why?” His eyes slid to mine full of hunger.

  “We were friends. You were my best friend. I let you in and you...”

  “I what, sweetheart?” His hand inched further up my dress and I squeezed my legs together, assaulted by memories I’d fought hard to forget.

  “Kiera?” Jack’s voice pierced the air and Remy stilled, hissing under his breath.

  “Guess I’ll be seeing you around,” he whispered, his bitter breath cloying my senses, before he slipped back into the shadows, leaving me standing there a quivering mess.

  “What’s the matter?” Jack was in front of me, his eyes searching my face for answers I didn’t have.

  “Nothing,” I sucked in a shaky breath swallowing down the tears burning my throat. “I’m fine. I missed you.” My arms looped around his neck, pulling him closer.

  “You only went to the bathroom.”

  “I know.” I gave him a coy smile. “Take me somewhere.”

  He frowned. “What?”

  “To our room, Jack. Take me to our room.” I had no idea where our room was, we’d left that to the guys to sort out earlier.

  “You’re sure about this? I mean, shit, baby. I want to. I really fucking want to, but you seem... I don’t know, sad.”

  “Oh, I’m just tired.” I brushed my nose along his jaw, kissing him softly.

  “Maybe we should just call it a night and—”

  “You know, you’re really crap at taking a hint.”

  “Yeah?” He swallowed.

  “Yeah. I want you,” I whispered against his lips. I wanted him to make me forget I ever met Remy Barton.

  “Fuck, K.” His voice was husky, and his fingers dug into my waist in a way that told me he was finally getting it.

  “I’m ready,” I said with more conviction this time. “If you want to...”

  “I want to.” Jack kissed me. “I really fucking want to. Come on.” He took my hand and started pulling me down the hall toward a staircase. My heart was crashing against my chest, my palms clammy.

  I was doing this.

  I was finally doing this.

  Jack would be gentle with me. He wouldn’t hurt me or break my heart when the sun came up. He couldn’t because I hadn’t given him enough of myself to do that.

  Jack was safe.

  He
wouldn’t use me as part of a game, and he wouldn’t reject me. Maybe he didn’t want me forever and maybe he didn’t love me, but he wanted me. Here. Now. In this moment.

  And it was enough.

  Because Jack wasn’t Remy Barton.

  And he sure as hell wasn’t Trey Berrick.

  Chapter 16

  Summer before Senior Year

  Kiera

  TREY CALLED ME AGAIN last night.

  He was slurring down the phone, trying to describe his night out with the team in great detail. All I got was there was beer and shots, lots of shots, and something about his roommate, Deacon, who hooked up with a girl who looked like Miss Piggy.

  Being friends with Trey was hard work. It had been five-and-a-half months since I suggested we be just friends. And Trey had taken it to the extreme; texting and calling at every opportunity. At first, it was kind of sweet. It made me feel like he needed me as much as I needed him, but as the months went by, something changed. He sounded more and more distant. Called drunk more than he did sober. And I realized, my worst fears had come true.

  Trey was moving on.

  He was doing what every normal freshman would, soaking up college life. The parties and social life... the girls. He never talked about girls and I never asked. It was some unspoken rule between us. I didn’t think he was dating anyone—he called me too much for that—but I knew he was probably hooking up with girls. After all, he was a nineteen-year-old guy with needs, and I’d friend-zoned him. Not that we could have been together even if we wanted to.

  And I did want. God, I wanted it so much.

  I grabbed my cell phone and texted him.

  Me: How’s the head?

  TD: It hurts so bad.

  Me: You were pretty wasted

  TD: I didn’t say anything... did I?

  Me: Say anything? Like what?

  TD: Nothing, but I’m home soon and I wondered if we could talk...

  Talk?

  He wanted to talk?

  My heart went into overdrive. Trey called and texted me all the time, but he never once said he actually wanted to talk. And he was coming home. I’d see him... in person.

  TD: Kiera?

  Me: Yeah, sorry. Of course we can talk.

  He wanted to talk, and deep down, I wanted to believe—I hoped—he wanted to talk about us. Because I was done trying to pretend we were just friends. I was done listening to his drunken calls at two in the morning, imagining him with a gaggle of girls all vying for his attention. I watched Summer with Nick at school, watched my brother and Laurie, and Lo and Maverick. Even Macey had Devon now. They all got to be with the person they loved while I had to sit back and watch the guy I loved live his life without me.

  It sucked.

  And I was fucking done with it.

  So what if I was only sixteen? I’d be seventeen in less than eight weeks. And it wasn’t like half of the junior class weren’t having sex already. Kyle needed to get over himself and realize I was my own person. What I did or didn’t do with my body was my decision. No one else’s. And if he didn’t like it, then that was his problem.

  Feeling brave, I typed out another reply.

  Me: Are friends allowed to be excited about seeing their friends?

  It pinged straight back.

  TD: I’ve missed you too, goth girl

  My smile grew. It had been the longest I’d gone without seeing him. Two-and-a-half months. He had come home for Spring Break and we’d snuck off to our usual spot. Only this time there had been no touching or kissing. Just two friends catching up on life.

  And I’d hated every second of it.

  Me: When do you get back in town?

  TD: Saturday, but I have to talk to my parents first

  Butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach. Was he going to tell his parents about us? I felt elated and foolish all at the same time. I didn’t get like this, not over guys. Yet, Trey had infiltrated my walls almost a year ago and taken up permanent residency inside me. It was unnerving, to want something so much knowing there were so many odds stacked against you.

  Mom would be furious, taking Kyle’s side, no doubt. And Macey would probably disown me. But Lo and Summer would be in my corner, I think. Maybe.

  Excitement swelled in my chest. This was happening. It was really happening. We’d waited almost a whole year for this. And nothing was going to stand in our way.

  Not this time.

  THE PARTY WAS CRAZY but then, they always were. Most of our junior and senior classes were crammed into Lonnie Breaker’s house, sprawling out onto the yard and down to the beach. I still didn’t feel one-hundred percent comfortable at these things, but I didn’t totally hate them anymore either. It was just part and parcel of my other life—the life where I tried to fit in with my brother and his friends. But somewhere over the last twelve months, I’d gotten good at being two people. Like right now, I was Wicked Bay Kiera. Dressed in dark jean shorts and a black sparkly tank top and black chucks. I wore a smile and drank beer out of a red Solo cup while I listened to my friends talk about their perfect lives.

  “There you are,” Macey said over my shoulder, and I spun around, grinning at her.

  “You came.”

  “Of course I came, I had to come and stop you doing from something stupid.”

  Jerking back, I frowned. “Excuse me?”

  “We need to talk,” she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Summer, Nick, and Jack who watched on, confused by Macey’s sullen mood.

  “I’ll be right back,” I yelled, finally shirking out of her grip. “What the fuck is your problem?”

  “Just come on.” Macey weaved in and out of the sea of bodies until we were in a quiet corner of the yard with only a few other people nearby.

  “Macey, you’re starting to freak me out.”

  “It’s Trey.”

  Trey?

  “He isn’t coming to tell you he wants to be with you.”

  God, she could be such a bitch sometimes. “I know you think I’m making a mistake where Trey’s concerned, Mace, but I’m tired. Of lying to myself, of lying to Kyle and everyone else. I love him, okay? I’m in love with him. And I’m almost seventeen. It’s not like I’m a kid anymore.”

  Kyle wouldn’t see it that way, but we’d have to deal with him later.

  “You’re... in love with him?” She gawked at me.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, I think so. Why else would I feel like this?” Like I had a hole in my heart that only grew with every passing day. I rubbed my chest, able to feel the ache that had been there ever since I’d met Trey.

  “It’s been almost six months since I told him we should just be friends,” I told her. “I thought it’d get easier. I thought our friendship would fizzle out and he’d find some college girlfriend, and I’d realize it was all just a crush. But it isn’t going away, Macey. I can’t get him out of my head. And I know he’s miserable. He calls me all the time drunk and saying all these things—”

  “He’s seeing someone.”

  The words hit me like a wrecking ball. The impact crashing into my stomach, winding me, sending a tsunami of pain rolling through me. “He isn’t,” I said, breathless. “He told me he wants to talk, he told me he wants to... Oh.”

  God, what an idiot. Trey wasn’t coming to tell me he was done pretending. He was coming to tell me he’d met someone else.

  Stupid, stupid girl.

  I swallowed back the rush of tears up my throat. I would not cry. Not here. Not in front of Macey.

  “I’m so sorry, Kiera. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but I found out and I couldn’t not tell you. You deserve better, so much better.”

  “You’re wrong,” I said unwilling to believe what she was saying. “He hasn’t met anyone... he can’t have—”

  “Kiera, I know I didn’t agree when you told me you were meeting him tonight, but I would never lie about something like this.”

  “You’re wrong,” I said again, hugging myself
tight.

  “I’m not wrong, and deep down you know it.” She gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry.”

  “I need to go.” Spinning around, I headed for the house. I needed air. I needed a drink. I needed to get away from her and her pitiful glare.

  “Kiera, wait—”

  But I was gone, storming back into the house. I grabbed another beer and downed it in one, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

  “Everything okay?” Jack, Nick’s friend came up beside me.

  “Everything’s fine,” I said sharply. “I need another drink.”

  “Okay then, let’s get you another drink.” He grabbed a bottle of something—vodka, I think—and added some into my cup. “Orange? Or Coke?”

  I shrugged.

  “Coke it is.” He finished making my drink and pushed the cup to my lips. “Drink, I’ve got your back.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but it was good enough for me. Trey was supposed to be meeting me at the end of Lonnie’s street in two hours. If Macey was right—if he’d met someone—he could look me in the eye and tell me himself. But two hours was a long time, and I couldn’t spend it dwelling, getting myself worked up. I needed a distraction.

  I needed more vodka.

  Trey

  THE SECOND KIERA APPEARED in my headlights, I knew this was a bad idea. She was buzzed; her eyes glassy as she walked, sloppily, to my truck. I leaned over and pushed open the door, and she climbed inside.

  “Hi,” Kiera said coolly.

  “Hey. Sorry I couldn’t get here any earlier, I had to—”

  “It’s fine. I’m just glad you came. Are we going to our usual spot?”

  Our usual spot, shit. This had disaster written all over it. But there was no backing out now.

  “Yeah, we can.” I pulled off and headed for the beach. It was a risk, picking her up from the party, but Kiera had walked down to the end of the street and it was dark out. And she’d already told me Kyle was gone for football camp, and Rick and Lo were busy.