Wicked Hearts

by L A Cotton

  After a few minutes of silence, she said, “I was surprised when you said you wanted to talk... after all this time.” She hiccupped, covering her mouth with her hand.

  I smiled. I couldn’t help it.

  She looked so cute, sitting there in my truck, trying to act sober.

  “What?” Kiera’s eyes slid to mine.

  “Nothing.” I shook my head gently. “How was the party?”

  “I think I drank too much.”

  Not good, although, I’d expected as much.

  “Jack makes good vodka mixers.”

  “Jack?” Who the fuck was Jack?

  “He’s a friend. Just a friend.” There was something in the way she said the words that had my senses on high alert. From her texts last week, I got the impression Kiera was excited about seeing me, but now I had the feeling I was walking into an ambush. Not that I had any right to feel pissed.

  “So junior year’s over? Are you ready to be a senior?” I said trying to keep the conversation on lighter topics, but Kiera was too busy watching the town roll by to reply. She had her hand propped up on her fist against the glass, staring out at nothing as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

  By the time we reached the parking lot on the edge of the beach, the tension in the truck had become almost suffocating. I’d rehearsed this conversation over and over on the drive from UCLA. But now I was here, and she was right there, I didn’t have a fucking clue what to say. How to explain... Fuck!

  “So, I’ve been thinking a lot,” Kiera beat me to it, twisting in her seat to look at me. “I’m almost seventeen now and last time we were here, things ended before they ever really got started.” Her gaze darkened, glittering with lust.

  What the hell?

  I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. This was not how I saw things going. Not since she’d friend-zoned me last time we were here. Granted, she’d gotten off by dry humping me too. The image of her skin flushed, body trembling, lips slightly parted as she cried my name was burned into my psyche, but we’d never talked about it again. And over time, it was almost as if it had never happened.

  As if I’d imagined the whole thing.

  “Kiera, what are—”

  “Ssh.” She pressed a finger to my lips, clambering over the stick to climb onto my lap. Her shorts rode her up thighs, revealing inches of tan skin as she straddled me.

  “Kiera—”

  “Trey, stop talking.” Her lips fixed against mine, clouding my head with things I had no right feeling. Her fingers twisted into my basketball jersey, anchoring us together.

  And I did nothing to stop her.

  Not a damn thing.

  Because I was weak. I was weak for this girl, for her sweet kisses and liquor-induced confidence. And I’d missed her. I’d missed her so fucking much.

  Kiera peppered tiny kisses over my lips, dipping down to my jaw, my neck. Then her mouth brushed the shell of my ear. “Pick me,” she whispered. “Choose me, Trey.”

  My body went rigid beneath her.

  “Trey?” She leaned back to meet my eyes, confusion clouding her gaze. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want me? I want this. I want you. I’ve been thinking a lot about it... about us, and I think I’m ready. After Remy, I didn’t think I’d want... but I do. And I want it to be you.”

  Guilt coiled around my heart.

  Kiera wanted me.

  She was here, choosing me. Offering me the one thing I’d wanted more than anything.

  She was looking at me like I hung the moon for fuck’s sake, and I was about to break her heart.

  “Kiera, it’s not that,” I said, trying to figure out the best way to say this.

  “So what’s wrong? Why are you stalling? I thought that’s why you wanted to talk?” She brushed my cheek. “Because you’re fed up of pretending, like me?” Her eyes searched mine and I’d never hated myself more than I did in that moment.

  Because I was a fucking bastard.

  The worst kind of guy.

  “I want you, Trey,” she said again, with more conviction. “I think I’m in lo—”

  “I’ve met someone.”

  I was going straight to hell.

  Kiera jerked back as if I’d visibly slapped her. “No,” she whisper-cried. “It’s not... you can’t...”

  “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  She scrambled off me, pressing herself back against the passenger side door, trying to get as far away as possible from me. “Macey told me, and I didn’t believe her. I didn’t believe you would ever do that to me. You promised me, you said you’d never hurt me, you said...” Kiera’s voice trailed off as she tried to catch her breath, looking at me like she no longer recognized me.

  Shit. It all made sense now. She knew. Kiera got into my truck knowing the truth and yet, she’d still tried to give herself to me. To make me choose her.

  What the fuck had I done?

  “I didn’t plan for it to hap—”

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me. You let me come here thinking you wanted to give us a shot and you’re telling me you didn’t plan for it to go down like this?” As she said the words, the temperature cooled in the truck. She was livid, the sting of betrayal written all over her face, laced in her tone. I didn’t blame her. The blame fell squarely on my shoulders. But Kiera meant too much to me to take the coward’s way out. She deserved for me to look her in the eye and tell her the truth; except now I was here, I’d realized this was a huge fucking mistake. Because I wanted to take it all back. I wanted to pull her into my arms and beg for forgiveness.

  She swiped at the mascara-stained tears tracking down her face. “I was ready to be with you. To stand up in front of my brother and his family and tell them we’re together and you’re sitting there telling me you met someone else. I’m a fucking idiot.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sor—”

  “Do you love her?”

  My eyes closed as I sucked in a harsh breath. The second Kiera mimicked the action, I knew she’d mistaken my non-response as an admission of the truth. But she was wrong. I didn’t love Callie; I just couldn’t believe she thought I did.

  “I see,” Kiera added, her voice cold. I didn’t correct her. Because what was the point? Maybe it was better this way. A clean break. I’d broken her tonight, I realized that. There was no coming back from this. At least if Kiera thought I loved Callie, she would move on with her life. She’d hate me, yes, but her anger would fuel her healing.

  She lifted her ass off the seat and dug her hand in her jean pocket, retrieving her cell phone. Her fingers flew over the screen, but I couldn’t see who she was texting, and I’d just lost the right to ask, so I kept quiet. When she was done, her hard gaze cut to me. “Macey will be here in a minute.”

  “You texted Macey?” Of all fucking people.

  “What?” Kiera sneered. “Scared she’ll tell someone your dirty little secret?”

  “Kiera, that’s not fai—”

  “Fair? I’ll tell you what’s not fair. That you played me. All these months, with the drunk calls and texts, I believed you. I thought you were hurting as much as me. But it was all a lie wasn’t it? You were just waiting until something better came along. I guess they were right all along. You’re a player and I’m the fucking idiot who fell for your charm.” Her hand gripped the door handle and panic swept over me.

  She couldn’t leave. Not now. Not like this. But nothing I could say or do would fix anything. So I let her go. I let Kiera walk away from me with tears in her eyes and her heart in tatters.

  And it was all my fault.

  Kiera

  TREY LET ME GO. HE didn’t come after me. He didn’t come and tell me it was all some big joke. He’d met someone... and he loved her.

  He loved her.

  I’d woken up this morning thinking by the end of the night Trey and I would be together, figuring out a way to break the news to my brother and his family. Instead, I had a broken heart and a boat load of regrets.
<
br />   Everyone had warned me about Trey Berrick. Kyle, Lo, even Macey. He was older. Experienced. And he’d been a complete player in high school. But I hadn’t listened. I’d given my heart to a boy who had never wanted it. I thought he’d keep it safe and protect it. Instead, he’d shattered it into so many pieces I wasn’t sure it would ever get pieced back together.

  Macey’s headlights came into view and I hurried toward her car, needing to get as far away from Trey as possible. She took one look at my red swollen eyes and said, “Motherfucker, I’ll kill him. I will—”

  “No.” I clutched her arm, pulling her back into the car. “Leave him. I just want to go home. Please. I can’t do this anymore.” A fresh wave of tears burned my throat as I fought to breathe through the pain.

  “God, Kiera.” She smoothed the damp hair from my face. “I could kill him for hurting you like this.”

  “It’s my fault. I should have listened... I shouldn’t have—”

  “Ssh. It’s okay.” Macey helped me get my seat belt on and then I curled up on her seat, pressing my head against the cool glass.

  But it wasn’t okay.

  Nothing was okay.

  There was obviously something very wrong with me. First Remy, now Trey. I’d put my trust in them both and they had hurt me beyond comprehension. But I hadn’t loved Remy. I was too damaged then to know what love was. But Trey had been different. I had given him all the parts of me, including the damaged ones. And it wasn’t enough.

  I wasn’t enough.

  I hadn’t been enough for my mom to want to live.

  I hadn’t been enough for Remy to want me.

  And I still wasn’t enough for Trey to love.

  “Kiera?” Macey’s voice pierced the sounds of my sobs and I slid my gaze to hers.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry he’s such an asshole.”

  “Yeah.” I smiled sadly. “Me too.”

  Me too.

  Chapter 17

  Present

  Trey

  “WELCOME HOME, SWEETHEART.” Mom enveloped me in her slim arms. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “Hey, Mom.” I squeezed her, breathing in her familiarity. I might not have missed home, but I’d missed Mom. Shit, there’s something I never thought I’d say. But as soon as classes were done, I’d packed my bag, jumped in the truck and driven home. Because there were some things only a Mom-hug could fix.

  The guys had begged me to stay, to see through our summer plans, but I needed some space. Callie hadn’t come around in a while, but rumors were still circulating about our split and I was sick of that shit. The whispers and constant stares, hearing my name everywhere I went on campus.

  Fuck. It was the second time in my life a woman had ruined me. And just like the first time, when it came down to it, it was all my fault.

  “Come on,” Mom’s voice pulled me back into the room. “I made you a sandwich. It’s your favorite.”

  I followed Mom into our kitchen, leaving my bag by the door. “He’s at work?”

  She gave a little nod, busying herself with cutting the sandwich. Mom slid the plate over the counter, and I dropped onto one of the stools. I wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, so I ate the fucking sandwich, forcing it down over the lump in my throat.

  “It was Prom at the high school last weekend. It seems like only yesterday that was you.” Her eyes softened and I silently prayed she wouldn’t cry because I wasn’t sure I could handle Mom tears right now. “I was heading to Gale’s and saw all the kids in their formal wear, the limos.”

  “That’s... nice, Mom.” I took another bite of sandwich. I didn’t want to think about Prom. Kiera’s Prom. It was all I’d done all weekend. Lay in bed sulking, imagining her in her dress, hanging off the arm of Jack-ass. Did they go to an after party? Did she finally...

  Fuck.

  Of course she did.

  It was Prom.

  And they were still together. I knew because I’d spoken to Rick a couple of times since Callie called off our fake engagement. He’d gotten wind of it via Macey and wanted to know what was happening, and then he let it slip that Kiera and Jack were visiting Kyle at USC to see some band she loved. I don’t know whether he was warning me to stay away or not, but it had fucking hurt hearing him confirm she ran back to him. Twisted like a knife to my heart.

  So yeah, I’d thought of nothing but Kiera at Prom. Imagining the stars in her eyes as she gazed at Jack, while they danced to some shitty DJ. When all along it should have been me. I should have been the one giving her a corsage, the one opening the limo door. Standing under the fucking photo arch smiling at the camera feeling like a fucking king with her on my arm.

  But I wasn’t.

  Because I’d had my chance and I’d screwed it up.

  Story of my life.

  “Trey, what is it?” Mom frowned, her warm gaze searching my face for answers I couldn’t give her. When I offered no answer she went on, “I know things have been... strained since you ended things with Callie, but I want you to know, I only want you to be happy, son. Callie was a lovely girl, but you never seemed...” She trailed off, moving her gaze to the window.

  “I’m good, Mom, it’s fine. Me and Callie were incompatible. I was pretending. We both were.”

  She looked back at me and smiled, patting my hand. “The right girl is out there for you and she’ll come along when you least expect it.”

  I didn’t have the heart—or balls—to tell her it was too late. To tell her I never expected Kiera Lessinger, but two years ago she had barreled into my life and imprinted herself onto my soul anyway. Mom wouldn’t judge. She was more open minded than most. She knew love didn’t always come in the ways we expected; her putting up with Dad’s bullshit was a testament to that. But confessing wouldn’t change anything.

  It wouldn’t give me Kiera.

  “Have you thought about your father’s offer?”

  My brow quirked up at that. After almost a month of silence, my old man had finally called me up demanding I spend the summer with him ‘learning the ins and outs of the family business’. I’d told him to stick his offer up his uptight ass and naturally he’d told me not to come back anytime soon.

  But here I was.

  “I’m not sure—”

  “Trey, your father would just like you to show some interest—”

  “He wants me to sell my soul to Berrick’s Autos. But it’s never been my thing, Mom. It’s his dream, not mine.”

  She let out a weary sigh. “Trey, I love you and I want you to be happy, but you’re two years into college. Before you know it, you’ll be graduating and—”

  “What, Mom? Are you worried I’ll end up in some dead-end job? Moonlighting at the twenty-four-hour gas station?”

  “Don’t be so ridiculous. You would never—”

  “Go on.” Anger washed over me. Anger laced with regret and shame. “Say it. Tell me what a disappointment I’ll be if I don’t graduate college with a plan.”

  “Trey... that’s not... I...” Mom took a deep breath, centering herself. “You’re twisting my words and looking for a fight, and quite frankly, I’m not going to do that with you. I have never given you anything but my love and support. I just want you to be happy, we want you to be happy.”

  I found that hard to believe. My old man wanted to see me fail. And after I threw away my shot at redemption in the form of Callie and her family, he probably wanted it more than ever.

  “I need some air.” I grabbed my keys and didn’t look back as I headed for my truck.

  I ENDED UP PARKED UP down by the beach, watching a group of kids play basketball on one of the courts. A/C turned up, sunglasses on, I watched them, carefree and cocky, as they taunted one another with the ball, pulling trick shots and egging each other on. I didn’t recognize them, but they were me three years ago. One of them had an audience, a group of girls huddled to one side snickering and flirting. He worked the court like a hooker worked t
he street corner, and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him.

  I’d been the same back then. All I’d wanted was to play basketball, fuck girls, and party with my friends. Life was simple. No drama. No responsibility. It was fucking great. Just me, my dick, and an endless supply of willing bodies. I was never the richest kid in school, but I didn’t need to be, not when one of my best friends was Maverick Prince. He never screwed around, preferring to keep our circle tight. But me? I lapped up that shit. The attention. The girls. Back then I’d felt like a motherfucking god. Until she turned up that day at The Shack and ruined everything.

  Kiera Lessinger.

  Forbidden fruit.

  Bittersweet sin.

  And oh, how I fell. At first, I’d tried to tell myself it was just her feisty mouth. The fact she didn’t give a shit. But it wasn’t her. It was me. For the first time ever, I’d found someone who made me want to quit it all. I’d always been restless... and she settled something inside me.

  Goddamn it.

  I slammed my palms down on the steering wheel, letting out a frustrated sigh.

  The truth was, I’d never quite felt good enough. My old man was always riding me about college, about the future. My teachers were always hounding me to ‘reach my potential’ in class. Girls were happy to fuck me, but never really wanted more, as if I was nothing more than a trophy, a prize to be won. I was friends with the most popular guy in school which made me popular by association. I played basketball but I was never going to go pro. So I’d hidden behind my unfiltered words and brash attitude. I was the joker of the group. The non-serious one. The one who stirred the most trouble. I wasn’t the one who got the girl and ended up with a full ride to college to play basketball, and it had never really bothered me until she came into my life. Then I found myself daydreaming, imagining things I’d never wanted before. Things I couldn’t have because she was my friend’s baby sister and I wasn’t ever going to be good enough for her.

  When I realized the court was empty, I fired up the engine and backed out of the lot. Kids milled about, coming and going from The Shack when a flash of pink caught my attention. Kiera exited the diner, a huge smile plastered on her face as she talked to whoever was behind her.