Grayton Beach Dreams

by Chambers, Melissa

  Cassidy nodded, making sure he knew she was on his side, but not daring to say another word in this moment.

  He huffed a humorless laugh. “After I found out about them, I realized it probably wasn’t even mine. I remember thinking we hadn’t even been having sex much at the time she got pregnant, but I didn’t understand the timelines and how it all worked, something about counting the pregnancy from the first day of the last period. The whole thing confused the hell out of me. And I think Lauren kept the timeline purposefully ambiguous, knowing whose baby it was. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I doubt it was even mine.”

  “But you thought it was at the time,” Cassidy said.

  “I also thought my girlfriend was faithful.”

  “Had you two been trying for a baby?”

  “Fuck no. She was still in law school. She was on the pill, but apparently she’d missed a couple of days. Sometimes I wonder if that wasn’t her way out. Get pregnant with his baby and then we’d have to split up.”

  Cassidy sat with her legs crossed, facing him. “Is that something you wanted back then, a baby?”

  “No, I was scared shitless when she said she was pregnant. I mean, I knew it would happen eventually, but I was thinking that wouldn’t be coming for years. I was only twenty-two at the time.”

  “What about now? Would you want a baby now?” she asked.

  “Not after seeing what it’s done to them.”

  She swallowed a big lump down her throat. “What about before you saw that. Are children something you want?”

  “Not right this minute, no.”

  She closed her eyes tightly, and he grabbed her knee. “Don’t do that. Don’t look like that. This is exactly what Rachel wanted. Us to have this stupid conversation.”

  “It’s not stupid, Jesse. It’s extremely important. I’m forty-four years old. I know there are women my age who get pregnant all the time, but there are huge risks involved, and I’ll be quite honest, I’m not willing to take those risks. If kids are something you want or you even think you might want, we need to end this now before—”

  “No.” He took her hands. “The reason I wanted to take you out on the boat tomorrow is because I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you.”

  Cassidy’s heart practically leapt out of her chest.

  “I wanted to tell you out on the ocean in my favorite place on earth with nobody around us and my family long gone away from this place. I wanted to tell you during a moment that we’d never forget for the rest of our lives, but fuck it. I’ll tell you again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day…every day for fucking ever.”

  Pressure mounted behind Cassidy’s eyes, and the tears came quicker than she could try to stop them.

  He smiled, wiping them away with his thumbs and then holding her head in his hands. He moved his hands down to her shoulders and squeezed. “I have met so many women over these past few years, and you are so completely unique and special. I wake up every day in this bed with you, and I have to pinch myself. I can’t believe you’re real. I can’t believe we’re real. Look, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’m never going to want a child. There’s no way I can know how I’m going to feel in five or ten years. But what I know right now is that you have made me into a whole man again. I’ve spent the last seven years fucking off and fucking around, miserable on the inside.” He took her hand and pressed it against his heart. “But you’ve opened my heart. You’ve shined a light inside my dark soul, and fuck it if that sounds cheesy. That’s how I feel.”

  Their mouths met, hands threading through each other’s hair as they clumsily found their way back to a horizontal position. She found his cock and within seconds it was ready for her. He went for the nightstand, and she took his arm. He met her gaze and she shook her head. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

  He blinked. “We can? I mean, you’re—”

  “I’m on birth control.”

  Jesse kissed her, slowing down, every touch of his mouth against hers a deliberate motion. “I love you,” he said.

  The words were right there on the tip of her tongue. She felt it. She felt infinitesimal amounts of love for this beautiful man, but she couldn’t say the words. Not right then.

  He pushed inside of her, and she let out a pleasured moan at the feel of his bare skin inside of her.

  “Oh, fuck, Cassidy. I’m not going to last.”

  “Let yourself go,” she said, her heart so full of emotion she could almost feel it bursting.

  True to his word, he collapsed on top of her, but this time, he didn’t roll off to head to the bathroom. This time, he just moved a little to the side, taking his weight off of her, and they lay there like that, their bodies melded into one.

  20

  Seanna, Maya, Shayla, Marigold, and Cassidy sat on the beach watching the five sexiest men alive play volleyball. At least to these ladies, they were the sexiest men alive, but Cassidy figured there were at least a few other women on the beach that day that didn’t mind the view.

  “God, we’re lucky,” Seanna said. “Look at those bods.”

  Bo set Jesse up, and he jumped high in the air for a spike.

  “That’s like too hot to be legal, or something,” Marigold said.

  “I see guys that look like this all the time at the gym,” Maya said. When they all slid her a look, she said, “I’m kidding. Look at them. It’s like that scene in Top Gun but hotter.”

  Jesse and Bo did a high five thing, and then Jesse grinned over at Cassidy, giving a bow.

  “Ah, look at your man peacocking for you, Cassidy,” Seanna said. “So adorable.”

  Cassidy smiled over at her niece who she couldn’t adore more if she tried. Seanna had been so casual about this thing with Jesse, who was about two years younger than Seanna was. Cassidy had asked her one day when she’d come in the shop if she was okay with it, and Seanna had hugged her and told her as long as she was happy and being treated right, she was okay with any person Cassidy chose.

  Ever since the day Jesse had told Cassidy he loved her, the two of them had been floating in some sort of undiscovered dimension. She’d thought she’d had some loves in her life, but she hadn’t had a clue. This young guy was showing her a love she’d never dreamed could exist.

  But she’d been careful not to say it back. As much as she was allowing herself to indulge in this relationship, she couldn’t get past the idea that she was being selfish. Jesse could be with someone else, someone younger who he could live a traditional life with. Someone who could bear his children should he decide that was what he wanted someday.

  On the other hand, the idea that she had helped to pull him out of a bad place into one of happiness couldn’t be denied. Leaving him now with instructions to go find the real one seemed ludicrous and damaging. Not to mention the fact that she was happier than she’d been in ages. It was working for the moment, and she was indulging in that moment, but the undeniable obstacles kept her from telling Jesse just exactly how in love with him she was.

  Cassidy’s phone dinged, and she read the text.

  Hey, we’re in Miramar to meet with a potential donor. Would love to see you. Meet for dinner tomorrow night?

  Cassidy looked up to see Jesse and Bo work together like professional athletes. She didn’t need his permission to meet up with Ingrid and Noel, but it would be courteous to mention it before she solidified. She and Jesse didn’t have plans, per se, but they’d been spending every moment outside of work together for the past month.

  “Everything okay?” Shayla asked, sitting beside her.

  “Oh, sure.” Cassidy smiled at her.

  The guys finished their game, Bo and Jesse proudly bragging about how they defeated Dane, Chase, and Blake even being down a man on their side. They all settled around the girls, some of them collapsing under the tent they had set up. Jesse held out his hand to Cassidy. “Wanna walk with me?”

  She let him pull her up, and they headed down the beach. She was tur
ning into a full-on mid-life-crisis cliché. She and Jesse had gone shopping, and he’d talked her into a bikini, of all things. She hadn’t worn one in years. She felt like she was walking down the beach in her bra and underwear.

  “When’s the last time you took a beach day?” he asked.

  “I can’t even remember. What about you?”

  “With friends, it’s been a long time. But I take my paddleboard out by myself enough.”

  “I’ve got to see you on one of those things.”

  “I doubt I look hot. It’s a whole lot of balancing.”

  “I’m sure you look sexy doing it. It’d be hard for you not to even if you tried.”

  He smiled at her and then put his gaze back on the beach in front of them. “You can’t ever break up with me. I like your friends too much.”

  “At this point, I think you’re a bigger part of the group than I am. They certainly like you more.”

  “They just like me because I get you out of the house.” He pointed in front of them. “Crab.”

  “I love those. They’re so funny how they crawl back in the sand so fast.”

  “You’re probably stepping on one now and don’t even know it.”

  “Oh no,” she said, high-stepping for effect.

  He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. “You are the hottest woman on this beach.”

  “I can’t believe you talked me into a bikini. I feel naked.”

  He ran his hands over her ass. “I wish you were naked.”

  She peered around him. “Hands up higher, boy. My niece is over there.”

  “I think she may suspect you’re having sex with me.”

  “Well of course she does, but we don’t need to solidify that thought.”

  “How can I be expected to keep my hands off of you when you’re looking like this? That’s just evil torture.”

  She took his hand and they kept walking. “I think we’ll live through it.” They walked a minute in comfortable silence. One thing she loved about Jesse was how thoughtful he was. He didn’t need to fill every silence with words, and neither did she. But that text was weighing on her mind. She squeezed his hand. “Hey, so, a couple of my friends from Jamaica just texted. They’re in town and wanted me to meet up with them for dinner tomorrow night. You didn’t have anything planned for us, did you?”

  “No.” He turned his head to the side, eyeing her. “This isn’t the famous Todd, is it?”

  She was a little surprised he remembered Todd’s name. “No. It’s a married couple, Ingrid and Noel. They work on the team with us sometimes, get their own team together other times, whatever works for the work.”

  “Us?” he asked.

  She looked at him curiously until she realized what she said. “By us, I meant the team I normally work on.”

  “With Todd?” he asked.

  “Why are you so interested in him all of the sudden?” she asked.

  “Because, whoever this guy is, I have a feeling he’s into you.”

  If she’d been chewing gum right then, she’d have accidentally gulped it down. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because look at you. What guy wouldn’t be hot for you? Mix in working in close quarters for two months, and if he’s single, a hundred bucks says he’s into you. Hell, if he’s not single.”

  She pulled her hair back out of her face, guessing now was as good a time as any to divulge this information. “Well, we actually were together in Jamaica.”

  “Oh. Damn. I assumed he was into you. I guess I didn’t assume you were into him back. I had such a hard time tearing down your walls, I thought others did, too, but I guess not.”

  She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so she didn’t.

  “So, you slept with him,” he said, staring out at the ocean. It wasn’t a question. “Like just a couple of months ago?”

  “Yes.”

  Color seeped up through his neck. “So, what happened?”

  “I made it clear from the start that I wasn’t interested in anything serious or taking any ties home with me. He agreed to my terms, but when I left, he sort of put it all on the line for me.”

  His expression turned sour.

  She continued. “He said he loved me and that he wanted me to consider moving there to partner with him full-time, or as much as I wanted, really.”

  “Did you consider it? Hang on. Are you considering it?”

  “I was considering it when I first returned.”

  He stopped and faced her. “Were you still considering it when we slept together for the first time?” He dropped his posture, glancing around. “God, that wasn’t long after you’d slept with him, was it?”

  She pointed at him. “Tread lightly here.”

  He held up two hands, mouth tight, carefully choosing his words. “It’s just a lot for me to digest right now. I don’t want to think about some other guy having his dick in you this year. And it’s only fucking April.”

  She headed back down the beach, but he grabbed her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  “You’re telling me you haven’t had your dick in some other woman since January?”

  “Yeah, I am telling you that. Before you, I hadn’t done it since like September.”

  She was definitely surprised to hear that. “Really?”

  “Really. I know I have this rep as a player, and I definitely used to be, but I’d gotten sick of it. Why do you think I was so quick on the draw that first night? I was out of practice.”

  She shook her head, realizing they’d gotten off topic, though this one was an interesting one. “Anyway, so I’m going to text them back about dinner tomorrow night. I just wanted to make sure it didn’t interfere with anything you had planned for us.”

  They started walking back toward the group. “So, it’s just these two friends?” he asked.

  “Yes, they’re a married couple.” She wasn’t sure why she thought that bore repeating.

  “I’d love to meet them,” he said.

  She slowed, realizing it hadn’t even crossed her mind to invite him. What was up with that? “You would?” she asked, a delay tactic while she thought it through.

  “Yes, of course I would.” He searched her gaze. “But apparently you don’t want them to meet me.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “I can see it in your eyes. God, are we back to this, really?”

  “We’re not back to anything. I’m standing on the beach with you in a bikini you picked out for me in front of a huge group of my friends, right down the beach.”

  He stopped. “Don’t act like you chose to introduce me to your friends. I’ve known Dane since college, and the rest of those guys have been coming in the Guppy for years. Bo invited me to his house that night and Chase invited me on the wedding weekend when they were at my bar for cards.”

  “Okay, fair enough.” She let out a resigned sigh. “Of course I would like for my friends from Jamaica to meet you.”

  “Are you afraid they’re going to report back to Todd that you’ve got a boy toy?”

  She hated that he could read her mind. “Not because I’m ashamed of you, but because I don’t want to hurt him. Can you understand that?”

  He pulled her to him. “Yeah, I can understand it. I still want to kick his ass.”

  She smiled. “It would not be a fair fight. He’s old and not in the greatest of shape.”

  “I would think he would need to be to do physical labor all the time.”

  “Todd’s more of a supervisor. He’s on his feet a lot and active, but he’s not driving as many nails into boards as you’d think.”

  “You mean he’s not…ripped?” Jesse grunted as he made fists, posing like a weightlifter.

  She took his hand and dragged him into the ocean. “Come on, tough guy. Show me your ocean.”

  “With pleasure.”

  21

  As Cassidy and Jesse walked through the parking lot, he kept her in his peripheral. She was nervous, he cou
ld see that, clearly. She dug around in her purse as they walked, when what he wanted was for her to take his hand and confidently stride into this restaurant with him.

  “Hey,” he said, when they were still out of sight of the door. “Are you sure about me being here?”

  She gave him a resigned smile. “Of course I am.” She did better than taking his hand, she took his arm, and he escorted her to the door, making him feel like the king of the goddamned prom.

  He opened the door and let her in, and as they glanced around, a woman at a table across the way stood and waved. Cassidy lit up, waving back. She walked quickly to meet the woman who came around from her seat and embraced Cassidy in a hug. But as they were hugging, Jesse couldn’t help but notice there were two men at the four-top table.

  When Cassidy pulled away from the woman, she went to the man who had been seated next to the woman, and he beamed and kissed her on the cheek. Cassidy pulled away from the guy she was hugging, grabbing his arm and turning to Jesse like she was getting ready to make introductions, but then she caught sight of the other guy.

  The guy stood a few inches taller than Jesse, but that was all he had on him in the looks category. He was hanging onto his hair for dear life, and his untucked shirt didn’t do enough to hide his beer gut poking out. Jesse didn’t know what to think about this. If this was the guy that preceded him, she clearly wasn’t into looks. Goddamn, how had Jesse managed to land her? And more importantly, how was he going to keep her?

  “Todd,” she said with a hard breath. “I didn’t realize you were here.”

  She grabbed Jesse like she was going to introduce them at the same time the guy went for a hug, and Jesse got caught in between their super awkward moment. He stepped back to get out of their way, and they hugged, the guy closing his eyes as he very obviously inhaled a whiff of her hair. Oh, that fucker was going down.

  “Wow,” Cassidy said, looking completely flushed. She turned to Jesse like she momentarily forgot he was there. “Okay, I um…I need to introduce you.”

  Jesse couldn’t handle hearing her call him a friend or whatever she was getting ready to do, because plan A of just introducing Jesse to a married couple had gone out the window. Plan B of introducing him to her very fresh ex was in motion. He reached for the woman’s hand first. “I’m Jesse.”