She knew I was being flippant, but it was still fun to mess with her. “You need to stop with all the inappropriate comments. We are only friends, remember?”
“Believe me. I remember.” Even though I had been taunting her and playfully teasing her, that last comment stung. “See you in a little while,” I said with clenched teeth before I turned on my heel and took off in a fast sprint toward my parents’ house.
The shower helped to ease my annoyance. I tried my best to let the water wash away the hurtful comment she had made to me. Why was I angry with her comment anyway? It wasn’t like we were more than friends, or we ever would be, for that matter. I guess it was wishful thinking on my part that things could ever be different between us. She was only stating what we had agreed to, yet the hope I had possibly let shine through was now replaced with a dark reality. I needed to get a grip.
She still had control over me. I wanted to deny it, and I certainly didn’t want her to know that she could still hurt me. I needed to be able to get my emotions in check. I could continue to flirt and tease, but I needed to realize nothing more was going to happen. Maybe I just needed to get laid. Perhaps getting tangled under the sheets with another woman would take my mind off Charlie.
My thought was interrupted by a voice…a voice I recognized. “Louis.”
I had heard that voice most of my life, and now I heard it in the bathroom with me.
The water still ran over me, and steam had filled the entire room. Have I really been in the shower that long? “I said I was going to pick you up.” Maybe leaving the door unlocked to the house was a bad idea.
“I was worried you wouldn’t show. I got the impression I had said something to piss you off.”
I was glad I had the shield of the shower curtain to cover the look that must have displayed across my face at that point. “Not sure what you mean.” I guess I hadn’t covered my irritation very well when I left her and returned home.
“I just wanted to clear the air.”
“Do you want to do this now, or wait until lunch?” I had to raise my own voice to overshadow the sound of the water.
“I’d rather talk now if that’s okay…before lunch.”
Um. Okay, if that’s what she wants. Determined to give her exactly what I figured she wanted, I abruptly turned off the spigot and opened the curtain. When I pulled back the hanging fabric, I stood naked in front of Charlie for a moment before grabbing the towel I had on the hook by the tiled wall. “Okay. I’m all ears.” I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the tub with water pebbling on my skin and streaming down my body.
She stared at me blankly for several moments. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to reveal myself to her in that manner. But then again, she was insistent that we were only friends. Besides, what did she think was going to happen? She was bold enough to show up in a room where a man was naked after all.
“Well?” I could tell she was flustered, but I wanted to hear what she had to say.
A cough escaped her throat, and the sound scraped through the humid air. “I just wanted to say…” Then she shook her head. “I don’t even remember what I was going to say.”
“Look, you don’t need to say anything. You have made it perfectly clear that you always have and continue to only want a friendship between us. I get it. Truly, I do.”
“Okay. Can we go to lunch now?”
I sensed a hint of hesitation on her part with the reluctance she had in divulging whatever she had planned to tell me, but I figured if she was willing to interrupt my shower in order to see me, then I figured the least I could do was take her to lunch. “Should we invite Cam?”
“Nah. We can make plans with him for later.” Her lips turned up in the slightest of a smile, and she was truly adorable standing in her T-shirt and jeans in my bathroom that was still full of steam. Her hair was curlier than usual. Maybe the humidity in the small room tightened the brown ringlets of hair that framed her face.
“Are you going to watch me get dressed, or do you want to just meet me downstairs?”
“Louis!” She resorted to slapping me on my wet shoulder. I hoped that meant things were returning to some sense of normalcy. “I’ll wait downstairs.”
Hmmm. She appeared flustered again. Maybe it would be fun to tease her a little more. Even though she said she wanted to just be friends, she seemed to be physically attracted to me. I wondered if the physical attraction would overthrow the obvious psychological roadblock she had put up. Then again, who am I kidding? I wanted more than physical attraction could offer anyway.
Charlie and I had a great time at lunch. We laughed and talked about everything—not anything super important, but everything that two people who hadn’t spent much time with each other in five years might.
Our conversation was disrupted by the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from Cam. Night-time canoeing? I glanced over at Charlie. “Cam wants to know if we want to go canoeing tonight.”
“We haven’t done that since we were kids.” Her finger tapped against her chin as if pondering her decision. “Okay. Count me in.” She directed her gaze back toward me, and her lips turned up in a smile that couldn’t hold back her enthusiasm. Her excited grin reminded me that she was always willing to engage in an outlandish adventure. I missed having crazy friends like Cam and Charlie.
Charlie and I are in. Meet at your place at what time? I texted back to him.
He responded immediately. I had forgotten that about him. I guess he was still attached to his phone at all times. So you are with Charlie now? Just the two of you?
When I didn’t respond immediately, he texted me again.
I’m not going to start being a third wheel now, am I? I guess Cam was becoming suspicious that something more was going on between Charlie and me than mere friendship.
No man. It’s not like that. Why was I even texting this conversation to my best friend?
Okay. Meet at my place at 9 pm.
“He wants us to meet at his place at nine.” Since she sat across from me in a booth at the restaurant, she couldn’t see over my shoulder at the texts I had exchanged with her brother, thankfully.
“Sounds fun. Glad I’m off tonight.”
I still wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her even though I would see her again later tonight. “Hey, do you want to go by the library and say hi to my mom with me?” It was the only thing I could come up with to maybe keep her around longer.
“It would be great to see your mom again.”
I was glad she agreed. I signed the credit card slip the waitress had returned to me. Charlie tried to pay for her own lunch, but I insisted on paying. She did seem to give up rather easily, though. I expected her to argue a little with me.
“Hey, and then afterward, I can take you for ice cream since you paid for lunch.”
I tried desperately to hold back the elation I felt, knowing that meant I would get to spend even more time with her. Perhaps I could convince her to stay with me until we met her brother tonight.
“I like ice cream.” I didn’t eat it much anymore. I’m not a health nut by any stretch, but I tried to avoid sugary, high-fat foods as much as possible. Given that Charlie ate Froot Loops for breakfast, I would guess she still very much had a sweet tooth. Her running routine has kept her body in amazing form, though.
“I remember.” Her words took me away from my own thoughts and back to our conversation. “Is mint chocolate chip still your favorite?”
I nodded at her while we stood and walked out of the restaurant toward my car. Part of me was happy that she remembered my favorite ice cream. It made me think that I did matter to her. That one comment made me realize that we did have a great relationship until I went and messed it up. Don’t get me wrong, I still would love more than a friendship with her. But the memory of what we had made me crave to get back what we once were. Maybe I should halt with the friendly flirting and the suggestive banter. And perhaps I shouldn’t let
her see me naked again.
Okay, so that thought caused my shorts to become a little tight. If she were to see me naked again, it would only be because I was seeing her naked, too. I would have to think of something really unfavorable and disgusting to get the image of Charlie naked out of my head. Although I had never really seen her without clothes on, my imagination told me that I wouldn’t be disappointed. Seeing her in the T-shirts she liked to wear that had a deep V exposing her cleavage most likely hid perfect breasts. The way she fit in tight jeans made me picture a perfect ass. And watching her in the running shorts that revealed her long, lean legs, had me thinking what perfection lay between those amazing thighs.
I needed to stop. Right. Now. I was pretty sure walking into a library with a huge boner would make me look like some kind of pervert. So I chewed on the inside of my cheek while we rode in my car to the library, and I forced myself to remember the last disgusting house I went into at work. It was a small kitchen fire that was still confined to the stove. But the tenant of the home had been a hoarder. There were empty takeout containers everywhere with roaches and large bugs that I couldn’t even identify scurrying across the entire living room. Recalling the stench of that place alone was enough to make me wretch and almost lose the lunch I had just enjoyed. Okay. Maybe this would work. I could feel my shorts becoming looser by the second.
We arrived at the library a few minutes later. The large, historical building that I remembered as a child had rafters up in front of it covering part of the front exterior. I guess there were some restoration efforts in effect. The building was built in the 1800s, so it most likely was due for a facelift.
I climbed up the many steps outside the stone exterior with Charlie next to me. There was a handicap entrance installed years ago, but there was something magical about ascending those massive steps into a building that had gargoyles perched on columns out front that really got the adventure blood swimming through my veins faster.
Moving through the rotating glass door used to be a game for Charlie and me. We would hold on to the brass handles when no one was in the archway and run as fast as we could until our stomachs felt like they would purge their contents. As I saw the smirk cut across her face, I knew exactly what she was thinking. We both raced to the door and slid into the same space within the separation between two of the revolving doors.
I peered over my shoulder, and she looked in both directions. When we both realized there were no others within the door itself or waiting to enter or exit the building, we both pushed against the brass handle as fast as we could. We started slowly because the old door was heavy. But soon, the door offered less resistance, and we moved into a comfortable jog pushing the door in a steady rhythm. Once the sprinting began, I could see Charlie trying to halt her stride. She grasped the sides of her head and catapulted her body out of the confines of the door into the building as I continued around for one more rotation before I jumped out and joined her.
Her complexion had grown pale, and her face was glistening with perspiration. “Are you okay?” A sudden flush warmed my face as well.
“Just a little dizzy. Things became pretty blurry, and I thought I would lose the lunch you just bought me.” Her head hung down, and her hands braced her weight against her upper legs while she spoke.
I reflexively reached for her hand and put my other arm around her shoulder. “I guess we aren’t as young as we used to be.” I brushed a quick kiss against her temple and held her close as I walked toward the bathroom located on the main level. I let go of her long enough to run into the men’s room and wet some paper towels under the faucet. Then we lowered ourselves to the ground and as she leaned against the wall, I placed a wet stack of cool paper towels across her forehead. “I guess I made it go too fast for you to handle.”
A closed fist struck my shoulder and the color returned to Charlie’s cheeks. I was relieved to see her feeling better so quickly. “It was just too soon after we ate lunch, that’s all.” Her gray eyes swirled with uncertainty like thunderclouds before a storm.
“So next time, we should follow the swimming rule?” Her eyes narrowed, but I could still see their steel-gray color. “You know how you’re supposed to wait an hour after you eat to go swimming? Well, we should probably wait an hour after we eat before running in circles full force in a revolving door.” Sitting so close to her on that thin, contractor-grade carpet shouldn’t have created the swirling emotions I had. But the smell of old books coupled with the nostalgia, and the heat emitting from the proximity of her body next to mine made me want to keep her near me and hold on to this moment for as long as I could.
I gently placed my lips against her temple, and when I pulled away, there was a pinkish hue to her cheeks. Not only had the color that drained from her face returned, but her facial features now held a warm, red tone. I didn’t know why I had kissed her on the side of her head, or really, why I had kissed her at all. It just seemed right. I didn’t mean for my lips to touch her, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop myself. If I couldn’t have my lips touch hers, then I would just have to use them to feel the pulse on the side of her head. It calmed me, but it also gave me the opportunity to get a quick sniff of her hair. She hadn’t told me not to touch the side of her head with my lips, so I would keep doing it as long as she wasn’t resistant to my touch.
Any onlookers would have seen that quick peck to the side of her head and thought the kiss was completely innocent. I have seen the twins’ mom kiss them both high up on their cheeks or the side of their heads. It wasn’t truly a public display of affection, but rather a friendly gesture.
Too bad not everyone could come to the library and keep their affection brief and innocent. Several feet from where we sat was an older man and woman embraced in a rather passionate, inappropriate kiss to occur at the library. I knew the main level wasn’t the children’s area, but those two should have at least kept the necking PG-rated.
Charlie examined the spectacle I had been watching while I stood and helped pull her to her feet with my hands firmly within her grasp. The couple broke apart, and the woman peered up toward the man as he reached out to take her hands in his own. Realizing that we could safely walk by without disturbing their make-out session, the two of us headed in that direction to find my mother.
Her information desk sat nestled in a nook surrounded by tall bookshelves. As we continued several more steps on our route, the older woman turned slightly, revealing her profile. I recognized her. I hadn’t recognized the man when the couple was kissing. He was facing toward me, and the woman was facing the opposite direction.
Even though I recognized the woman as the caregiver I adored my whole life, I felt like I no longer knew her like I thought I had. That seemed to have happened with a lot of people I once thought I knew during my absence in the last five years. I thought maybe I would walk by without any sort of greeting, but anger began to fuel a fire within me that I couldn’t seem to stop.
“Hey, Mom. Charlie and I thought we would come say hi.” The flash of embarrassment highlighted the fine lines on my mother’s face. She must have known that I’d witnessed the show she had put on with the tall man in a suit next to her—who was not my father. I was sure the resentment and anger that ran rampant throughout my body were blazingly written across my face and seen in the stiffening of my stance.
Then I felt a soft, warm touch. The faintest of caresses tickled along the inside of my forearm. I felt my posture soften against that soothing contact from her fingertips. And I refocused my attention to Charlie while she continued the magical touch of trailing her fingers up and down my arm. I knew she had seen the same crazy shit that just happened. She was attempting to comfort me, and she had succeeded.
“Louis…” my mother began to say, but I held up my hand.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.” The woman who gave birth to me appeared heartbroken when she studied me. I knew she wanted an opportunity to explain, and maybe I would give it to her
at some point. But it wasn’t going to be that moment. I had to get the hell out of there.
7
Charlie
I couldn’t believe what I just saw. I mean, I don’t think I had ever seen Louis’s mom kiss his dad, and now I had seen her make out with some random man. “Give me your keys.” I held out my hand as we stood next to his car.
“Why?” The hardened look across his face nearly broke my heart.
“Because I want to drive,” I said plainly. “Please.” I wasn’t beyond begging. I didn’t want him to drive while suffering the shock he was in. So I decided to be bold. I leaned toward him and reached into the front pocket of his khaki shorts to snake out the keys I knew resided within.
He initially flinched when I shoved my hand into the pocket. But then he relaxed and moved slightly to allow me better access to his keys. He remained silent but watched the movement in his pocket as I attempted to loop my finger around his key ring. Just as I would hook a fish, I pulled the ring slowly out of the depths of the abyss of his pocket. Feeling gratified with my catch, I smiled and pushed him aside as I opened the driver’s side door and climbed behind the wheel.
He shuffled his feet around to the other side of the car and allowed himself to get into the passenger seat. He flopped himself into the seat next to me, without a word being said. The car was silent except for the loud sigh that whooshed out of him when his shoulders slumped forward. I trailed my fingers along his arm for only a few strokes before starting the car. I couldn’t take away his pain, but perhaps I could provide a distraction.
I pulled out of the parking lot and Louis never lifted his head. His sullen mood had my heart breaking for him. He was hurting, and I just wanted to comfort him. “Ice cream makes everyone feel better.”
He lifted his chin and peered through the windshield at the town hand-dipped parlor. “I don’t know, Charlie. I’m not much in the mood for ice cream now.”
Love Burns Page 6
