Just One Year

by Ward, Penelope

  ***

  That night when I went to Teagan’s room for our study session, she immediately asked, “So what’s the deal with you and Archie?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked as I took a seat in her chair.

  “You seem uncomfortable with him staying here.”

  Here I was thinking I’d done a good job of hiding it. I didn’t want to throw Archie under the bus, so I made it more about me than him.

  “It just took me by surprise. I’ve been enjoying the break from home—and all the things that went with it.”

  “And you feel like home walked in our door tonight.”

  “Yeah.” I sat back in my seat and kicked my legs up on the end of her bed.

  “That would piss me off, too.”

  It was a relief that she understood where I was coming from. I suppose if anyone could relate to the need for space, it was Teagan.

  “Where is he now?” she asked.

  “He went to meet some of his colleagues for drinks downtown.” I opened my laptop. “Anyway, enough about him. We’re behind in our studies, thanks to me.”

  “That’s because you’re spending more nights at Veronica’s lately.”

  Her voice held a hint of disdain. Or maybe it was my imagination.

  “Does that bother you?” I asked.

  “No. Why would it bother me? She’s your girlfriend. I was just pointing it out. If you’re there, you can’t be here, thus the lack of studying.”

  Despite her claim, her face turned red.

  “Of course,” I said.

  Teagan got up shortly thereafter and opened the window in her room, though it was freezing out. I found this a little bizarre and wondered if she was lying to me.

  Thankfully, after a few awkward minutes we returned to normal. Teagan quizzed me on my history questions, and things seemed as comfortable as they usually were. However, deep down I was still fixated on how red she’d turned before. Did Teagan have feelings for me that went beyond our friendship? I felt an uncomfortable excitement. I knew nothing could ever come of it, but the thought of being with someone unattainable was arousing in its own forbidden way.

  We managed to keep our noses in our books for a while. Then I gave incorrect answers to nearly half the questions on the second round of quizzing.

  “You’re off your game tonight, Yates.”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time. This day has thrown me off course.”

  “Well, your exam is tomorrow, and it unfortunately doesn’t care what kind of day you had.”

  “Can I borrow your brain?” I asked. “I promise I’ll take good care of it.”

  “Hmmm. I don’t know if it wants to spend the entire day in your head. I might end up having a little too much fun and get in trouble for being overly snarky or something.”

  “Very funny, Dolphina.” I crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it at her.

  “Oh, is that my name?”

  “It is now, yes. In fact, I think I might have an uncontrollable urge to get to the dolphin show this Friday so I can see you in that getup. That is the day you hand out the tickets, yes?”

  “Yes. I hand them out to actual people who want to see the show, not to annoying friends who want to make fun of me in my costume.”

  “How much money would I have to pay to get you to let me take you to dinner in the North End dressed in your dolphin suit?”

  She laughed. “Seriously? I can be bought.”

  I lifted my chin. “How much?”

  She scratched her head. “A thousand dollars.”

  “Really?”

  Teagan bit her bottom lip and smiled. “Yes.”

  “That’s somewhat doable, at least.”

  “You’re not serious, are you?”

  “I don’t know. I might be.”

  She shook her head and returned her attention to the computer screen. “You’re crazy.”

  If she only knew all the ways I was scheming to come up with that money.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  * * *

  TEAGAN

  I hadn’t intended to spend Saturday afternoon out with Archie.

  When I woke up this morning, I realized Caleb had once again spent Friday night at Veronica’s. Archie had been eating breakfast in the kitchen alone when I walked in. He’d asked me if I felt like showing him around. Unsure of how to get out of it, I’d agreed.

  I took him to all of the typical places: The Public Garden, The Museum of Fine Arts, Copley Square. As I talked to him, I realized he was just as charismatic as Caleb. Maybe there was something in the water where they grew up that made them that way. Archie made me laugh a lot. Not to mention, he and Caleb were equally gorgeous—Archie in a slightly darker, more mysterious way.

  The only difference, I suppose, was that I didn’t quite trust Archie the way I did Caleb. I mean, sure, we’d just met, but it was more than that. I couldn’t put my finger on why. Sometimes it’s just a feeling you get. Oddly, spending the entire day with his friend had made me miss Caleb.

  By the time we returned to the house, it was late.

  “Thank you for agreeing to be my tour guide,” Archie said.

  “No problem. Anytime.”

  He ran a hand through his thick mane of black hair. “Yeah? I’d love to go out again sometime then.”

  Is he asking me out?

  Unsure of what to say, I answered, “Maybe, yeah.” I turned to walk away. “Well, I’d better go check on my…room.”

  My room? Did I just say my room?

  “Ah, yes. The room can be very needy.” He grinned.

  I smiled and went downstairs, feeling like a total moron.

  ***

  The following morning, I knew my dad, Maura, and Shelley had gone to an early church service. My family wasn’t particularly religious, but a few years back, Maura had started volunteering at a liberal congregational church and began attending services there as well. My dad and Shelley went along with her.

  Sundays were therefore typically quiet in the mornings. I was just about to head upstairs to grab some breakfast when I overheard two voices in the kitchen—two British voices. Caleb must have come home from Veronica’s either late last night or early this morning.

  “Didn’t expect to see you this morning...” I heard Archie say.

  Caleb’s tone was bitter. “Why is that? I live here.”

  “You’ve spent the past couple of nights at the girlfriend’s place. I didn’t think you came home last night.”

  “Yeah, well, I did. It was late.”

  “I must have been asleep. I was tuckered out after a long day of sightseeing.”

  “Sightseeing with whom?”

  “Teagan showed me around Boston.”

  I braced for his response, but it didn’t immediately come.

  “Did she now...” Caleb finally said.

  “Yeah. She took me to a few of the touristy places. It was a really nice time. She’s a great girl.”

  Caleb said nothing to that, and without seeing his face, it was difficult to surmise whether he was angry or unaffected.

  “How come I haven’t met your girlfriend?” Archie asked. “You hiding her from me or something?”

  “No. I just don’t bring her to the house. I don’t invite friends here.”

  Not sure if Archie understood that was a dig, but I certainly did.

  “We should go out sometime,” Archie said. “I’d love to meet her.”

  “Oh yeah? You like being the third wheel?” Caleb taunted.

  “No. I’ll ask Teagan if she wants to come along.”

  Again, another pause.

  “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea,” Caleb said.

  Oh?

  “Mind telling me why?”

  “Teagan is not your type.”

  What the hell does that mean?

  “Not my type?”

  “That’s right.”

  “She’s beautiful and sweet. Why is that not my type?” Archie asked.
>
  Before Caleb could answer, I heard the sound of additional voices. My family had returned from church, interrupting the conversation.

  Damn it!

  Why wasn’t I Archie’s type? Was I not pretty enough...sexy enough? Why wasn’t I dateable?

  ***

  That entire afternoon, I obsessed over the answer to Archie’s question. I couldn’t exactly ask Caleb what he’d meant when I wasn’t supposed to have heard their conversation.

  But I was hurt. I was hurt that he’d discouraged his friend from asking me out—not because I wanted to go out with Archie, but because I cared how Caleb felt about me. And if I wasn’t the type of person who was worthy of being asked out on a date, what type was I? The type of person you befriend but don’t covet, don’t respect, don’t love? What did he mean?

  Kai knocked on the outside door to my bedroom just as I’d nearly been swallowed by my own anxiety.

  She frowned when I opened the door. “What the hell is going on, Teagan?”

  After I told her the story of what I’d overheard, she seemed adamant that there was only one next step.

  “If Archie asks you out, you go.”

  “But I don’t like him that way. He’s handsome, but—”

  “It doesn’t matter whether you actually like him or not. You need to prove Caleb wrong. You are the type of person Archie would want to date.”

  The more she spoke, the more worked up I got. I had never cared much about what people thought of me. But for some reason, I cared what Caleb thought. Did he really see me as undateable?

  “And who exactly is the type of person Archie would want to date?” I asked.

  Kai twirled her long, black hair. “Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps someone who lets her hair down once in a while, someone who doesn’t hide her body. Someone with sex appeal?”

  I waved my hand dismissively. “You know that’s not me. That’s not who I am.”

  “I’m quite aware of that. But this isn’t about your norm. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and proving a point at the same time. Any guy would be lucky to date you. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn fool.”

  ***

  Kai had gotten me all riled up. I’d never admitted the true reason for hiding my sexuality to her. She didn’t know how deeply rooted my issues were and how hard I’d always tried not to resemble my birth mother who abandoned me.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to experiment with my sexuality. Even though nothing was going on between Caleb and me, just having him around made me feel more connected to my feminine side—the sexual side. His presence meant there was a sexual energy in my life whether I liked it or not. And I mostly liked it. Okay, I loved it—when I wasn’t pissed at him for potentially insulting me, that is.

  Looking in the mirror, I wondered if maybe I could play around a bit. I took down my hair and brushed through it. It was very thick—long and straight, light brown with natural blond highlights. I could probably count on my hands the number of times I’d worn it down since the age of about fifteen.

  And there was nothing in my wardrobe that could be considered sexy or revealing. That was intentional—though some items were more appealing than others. My typical garb consisted of roomy T-shirts, jeans, and Chucks. I grabbed one of the few fitted shirts I owned before slipping off my T-shirt and changing. The ample breasts I tried so hard to hide were now completely outlined by the thin, clingy fabric. Changing out of my jeans, I replaced them with a pair of black, curve-hugging leggings. Kicking off my sneakers, I put on a pair of black ballet flats Maura had bought me one Christmas, probably hoping I’d take the hint. But alas, the box had never even been opened up until now.

  Looking at myself in the mirror, I tilted my head. “Well, whaddya know? She does clean up nice.”

  Remembering that I had some old makeup in my bathroom, I went in and opened the drawer, feeling clueless. What to do. What to do. After a moment I realized I didn’t know how to apply eyeliner. So, I turned on one of those YouTube tutorials and watched a girl who had over two million views apply her eye makeup until I felt confident enough to try her technique. It took about twenty minutes and some trial and error, but my eyes were now fully lined and my lips plumped up with a mauve color. The finishing touch was a little rouge on my cheeks. Initially, I put on too much and had to wipe some of it off. By the time I finished, I’d managed to achieve the thing I’d always tried to avoid: I looked even more like Ariadne.

  Having second thoughts, I hesitated before heading upstairs for Sunday dinner. But it wasn’t going to get any easier, so I gave myself a mental nudge and made my way up the stairs.

  When I entered the dining room, every head turned in my direction. Time seemed to stand still as they took me in. Was it that drastic?

  My father looked stunned, probably to see the spitting image of the woman who’d broken his heart. Maura looked almost proud, like she was saying to herself finally. Shelley looked envious, and I assumed she’d be ransacking my room as soon as possible, looking for the makeup. And Archie and Caleb? Well, let’s just say if there were a competition for jaw dropping, I’m not sure which guy would have won.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  * * *

  CALEB

  Christ.

  What had she done to herself?

  Her eyes, her lips, her breasts—everything was magnified. She looked different, but absolutely beautiful. I’d always recognized Teagan’s natural beauty, though, even when she tried her hardest to hide it. But now she was flaunting it. And I didn’t know what to make of that, except that I suspected it had something to do with Archie. That angered me for so many reasons.

  Shelley’s eyes were wide. “You look beautiful, sister.”

  “Thank you.” Teagan batted her lashes and looked down at her feet.

  Tongue tied, I couldn’t stop staring at her.

  “What made you get all dolled up?” Maura asked.

  “I felt like a change.”

  You could see the pride in Lorne’s expression. “You look lovely, honey.”

  “I second that,” Archie said.

  Of course you do.

  I was the only one who hadn’t said anything, mainly because I was speechless. Teagan’s cheeks turned redder, and it wasn’t the makeup. She clearly wasn’t used to being bombarded with so many compliments at once.

  God, she really did look gorgeous. It was like she’d gone down to her room a girl and come upstairs a woman. I’d never realized how much hair she had, either. She normally kept it tied back in a ponytail or up in a knot. The makeup she wore brought out the green in her eyes. And it was hard not to notice her ample chest in that fitted shirt.

  Over the past several weeks, I’d begun to view her in a sexual way—as much as I tried not to. She always hid behind her clothing, but seeing the effort she made tonight scared me. I actually needed to worry about her and Archie, and that didn’t settle well in my stomach. I could see now how complicated my feelings for Teagan really were. I just didn’t know what to do with that realization.

  She finally sat down, and everyone’s attention went from her to the food in front of them. Aside from my continuing to steal glances at her, dinner went as usual until Archie spoke.

  “Teagan, this might be a dumb question, but do you have a curfew?”

  My fists tightened.

  “I’m nineteen. Curfew ended when I turned eighteen.”

  “Ah. Very good. Remember that bowling place you were telling me about yesterday, the one that stays open late?”

  “Yeah?”

  He cocked his head to the side. “Would you want to go tonight?”

  A breadstick I’d been holding snapped in my hand.

  “Sure. That sounds like fun,” she said.

  Clearing my throat, I asked, “What is this place?”

  “Wonder Bowl,” she answered. “It stays open really late. After ten at night, it’s half off to bowl. And they have six-dollar pitchers of beer.” She looked at her father. “F
or those who are legal, of course.”

  “When she was showing me around the city, Teagan said she felt like sort of a dork for liking bowling,” Archie explained. “I told her I was in a league back home for a while.”

  I rolled my eyes. Of course he was.

  No way was I letting her go out alone with him tonight.

  I glared at him. “Sounds like fun. I’ll ask Veronica if she wants to join us. We can all go.”

  Archie forced a smile. “Brilliant, then.”

  He was definitely on to me. But I didn’t care. Looking after Teagan was my priority.

  ***

  We borrowed Lorne’s car to drive to the bowling alley.

  Veronica wasn’t thrilled. She’d apparently never bowled in her life and had no interest in coming. But I made it sound like I really wanted to go, and eventually, she gave in and agreed.

  As we waited in line for those nasty bowling shoes, Veronica made small talk with Teagan. It seemed forced. I suspected Veronica still held a grudge about my ditching her at the restaurant to check on Teagan the day of the attack.

  Veronica looked her up and down. “I almost didn’t recognize you when I first saw you tonight.”

  Teagan glanced down at her feet. “I was just playing around with hair and makeup.”

  “You look pretty.”

  She smiled shyly. “Thank you.”

  We got to our lane and settled in to bowl. Every time Teagan bent over to swing her bowling ball, Archie’s eyes landed on her bottom. I watched him so much that I couldn’t concentrate on the damn game when it was my turn.

  My score was pathetic. I kept throwing gutterball after gutterball, which had never happened to me before. Naturally, Archie outscored me, as he tended to do in competitive situations.