Just One Year

by Ward, Penelope

  Veronica made it quite obvious that she had never bowled before. Every time she stepped up to the lane, she held the ball with two hands, scooted down, and swung the ball between her legs. It took everything in me to avoid completely losing it in laughter every time. Teagan made eye contact with me whenever Veronica was up, and I knew she was thinking what I was: that Veronica’s bowling technique was absolutely ridiculous.

  At one point, Teagan leaned in and whispered, “Nice granny roll.”

  At the feel of her breath, I knew my attraction to her was far more than mental.

  Then came the part of the evening that really tested me. Teagan got a strike, and Archie ran over and lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist while his hands landed on her butt. He spun her around, and it felt like my head was spinning at the same time.

  “They make a cute couple, huh?” Veronica said. “She’s definitely changed for him.”

  “Changed? What do you mean by that?”

  “Look at her. She typically dresses like a guy. I almost didn’t recognize her tonight. She’s working hard to impress him.”

  I swallowed. “Yes, I suppose.”

  It was my turn to bowl, and this time my stress was put to good use. Apparently, all I had to do was imagine the ball was Archie’s head. I hit three strikes in a row.

  What annoyed me the most about my reaction tonight was that I had no ground to stand on. There was no reason Archie and Teagan couldn’t or shouldn’t date each other. My feelings were my own problem, and I’d have to deal with them.

  Eventually the four of us stopped playing for a while and sat down. Archie brought a pizza and a pitcher of beer over to the table.

  “What time does this place close?” Veronica asked.

  “Midnight,” Archie answered.

  Teagan blew on her pizza slice. “It’s so cool that they stay open. I can’t remember the last time I was out this late, which is pretty pathetic.” She laughed. “Maybe I shouldn’t admit that.”

  “Well, that’s unacceptable,” Archie piped up. “We need to get you out more often, Teagan. I volunteer as tribute.”

  When he began to pour beer into Teagan’s cup, I held my hand out. “Whoa. What are you doing?”

  Archie momentarily stopped pouring. “What do you mean?”

  “She can’t drink. She’s underage,” I scolded.

  “You’re kidding me, right? Did we not drink from the time we were, like, fifteen?”

  “That doesn’t matter. If someone comes around and IDs her, she could get in trouble.”

  Teagan shrugged the whole thing off. “It’s fine. I’m not a big drinker anyway.” She slid the cup back toward him.

  Archie stared at me incredulously.

  Veronica slapped my leg. “Since when did you become such a disciplinarian, Caleb? You don’t bat an eyelash when I drink, and I’m underage. You even buy it for me.”

  Shit. She’s right. I’m a hypocrite.

  The truth was I didn’t want Teagan drinking because I knew it would mess with her inhibitions. I was supposed to be spending the night at Veronica’s, while Teagan would head back to the house with Archie. I knew he’d try to weasel his way to her room. Still, I needed to come up with an answer for my behavior that Veronica would find suitable.

  “I feel responsible for her because her parents have been very good to me. She can do what she wants, but it’s just stupid to give someone underage alcohol in a public place.”

  “That’s what fake IDs are for.” Veronica winked. “Then you never have to worry about it.”

  “It’s baffling what a goody goody you’ve become, Caleb.” Archie laughed. “I could tell you so many stories about the trouble Caleb used to get us into.”

  Veronica smiled. “I’d love to hear some of those. I only get to see his bad boy side in bed.”

  It could have been my imagination, but Teagan suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. This whole outing was very uncomfortable for me, too.

  “Are you going home for Christmas?” Archie suddenly asked me. “I’m sure your mum misses you.”

  Christmas was coming up in a couple of weeks, and I had no plans to leave Boston.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Funds are a bit tight right now.”

  While money was a partial issue, that wasn’t the reason I wasn’t going home. This would be the first Christmas I’d spend away from my parents, and that was fine with me. Christmas was probably the most painful time of year. My mother always hung Emma’s stocking on the mantel alongside mine. My father withdrew into himself even more than usual. And my mother always insisted on wrapping a present for my dead sister, one that would have been age appropriate were she still alive. Then once she opened it, she’d donate it to charity.

  Christmas wasn’t just sad, it was excruciating. And this year was the first opportunity to forego that pain.

  “I’ll lend you the money to buy your ticket if you want to go home,” Archie said.

  Of course he’d use this opportunity to seem like a martyr, to flaunt the fact that he held a full-time job and had some money.

  “Thank you. But I’m actually looking forward to experiencing Christmas here in Boston. It will be my only opportunity to do that.”

  Veronica looked disappointed. “I thought you said you’d think about coming home with me to Minnesota.”

  The last thing I wanted was another inquisition from her parents, this time lasting an entire week or more.

  “I think it’s best if you spend time with your family alone,” I said.

  When she didn’t say anything else, I knew this would come up again later and turn into an argument about how she believed I planned to ditch her. I’d never actually told Veronica one way or the other what my plans for us would be when the school year was over. But wasn’t it obvious? Going back to England of course implied that we’d be splitting up. Yet she still seemed to treat things as if we were serious. Case in point, wanting me to join her in Minnesota for Christmas. Ultimately, I supposed I was planning to ditch her. But she seemed determined to change my mind about leaving or that we could make it work long-distance.

  “The place is going to close in fifteen minutes,” Teagan said. “We’d better get going.”

  Teagan drove Lorne’s car on the way back. I knew everyone at the house would likely be asleep, and Archie and Teagan would be alone together when they got there.

  The first stop would be Veronica’s dorm. After I directed Teagan there, my gut led me to make a split-second decision.

  As Veronica was about to exit the car, rather than follow her out I said, “I think I’m going to head back home tonight.”

  She pouted. “You said you were spending the night at my place...”

  “Yes, I know. But I realized I told Shelley I would fix her bike again so she could take it to school tomorrow. It’s the same issue that keeps happening, and I’m the only one who knows how to fix it. I totally forgot.”

  This wasn’t a complete lie. I’d told Shelley I’d fix her bike “sometime this week.” That changed to tonight now because I really wanted to keep an eye on Archie. He’d given me the impression that he wasn’t anywhere near done with Teagan this evening.

  “Okay, whatever,” Veronica huffed as she stalked away.

  I’d pay for this tomorrow, but I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I let Teagan return home alone with Archie.

  At the same time, this was a little crazy. He’d be here for three months. Would I be able to intercept every opportunity he had to be alone with Teagan? Likely not. If she liked him, I’d have to accept that. But I knew him. Archie liked to use girls for sex and move on when he got bored. And I’d be damned if he made Teagan another notch on his belt. Bloody fucking damned.

  Things were quiet for the rest of the ride home. Tension definitely lingered in the air—there was my slightly volatile goodbye with Veronica, and I was also sure Archie was starting to sense my feelings about this situatio
n.

  He’d try even harder to win Teagan over if he felt he was in some sort of competition with me. I had to tread carefully, keep an eye on her without him thinking I had feelings for her myself. I would have to go back to using the pseudo-sister card. I was trying to keep her from being hurt by him. My complicated feelings were just an extra part I’d have to hide.

  When the three of us entered the house through the main door, my suspicions were confirmed.

  “Care to continue hanging out, Teagan?” Archie asked.

  I stiffened.

  Before she could open her mouth to answer, I said, “Great. What are we doing?”

  Archie’s eyes darted to mine. “I was thinking...just Teagan and me, actually.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  He squinted. “What is your problem?”

  He’d said it loudly, and I feared he’d wake the family.

  “Lower your voice,” I demanded.

  “Then let’s go outside.”

  Teagan looked pissed off and followed us back out the door.

  Archie and I faced off on the front lawn.

  “Now that we’re out here, tell me what your problem is, Caleb.”

  “My problem is you’ve been here a mere minute, and you’re already up to your games.”

  “Games? What the hell are you talking about?”

  Teagan interrupted, “Excuse me. Don’t I have a say in this?”

  Both of us turned to her.

  She crossed her arms and looked straight at me. “If I want to hang out with Archie, if I want to invite him to my room, that’s my choice. Not yours.”

  She was right, but even hearing her mention him in her room made me sick to my stomach. I nodded slowly as Archie smirked.

  “But you know what?” she added. “I’m tired, and I’m going to bed. So I’m not hanging out with anyone tonight. I suggest you both do the same—especially you, Caleb, because you have class in the morning, and my sister’s bike to fix, in case you’ve forgotten.” She turned to Archie. “Goodnight. Thank you for a great time. It was really fun.”

  We said nothing as Teagan entered the house. Then it was just us guys left on the frosty grass.

  Archie shook his head. “Where is this coming from?” Cold air billowed from his mouth. “You have a thing for her or something? Because if you do, that’s really unfortunate for your girlfriend.”

  I looked down at my feet. “I’m protective of her. I don’t have to have a thing for her to care about her and not want her to become just another one of your conquests.”

  “You’ve had plenty of conquests yourself. That doesn’t mean I go around warning your new girl not to trust you. People change. They mature. They want different things than they might have wanted a couple of years ago.”

  “You’re trying to convince me you don’t have your sights set on fucking Teagan while you’re here?”

  “I genuinely like her. She’s as sweet and intelligent as she is attractive.”

  That admission bothered me just as much as the thought of him trying to sleep with her.

  “You’re leaving in three months, so why bother?”

  “Well, I could ask the same of you about Veronica. How is that any different?”

  I ran my hand through my hair. I’d walked right into that one and had no answer, because there was none. It was no different. I was passing the time with Veronica with no long-term future plan, whether I admitted that to her or not. But in my mind, Teagan was different. Veronica would get over me in no time, move on to someone else. But Teagan? She was vulnerable, special, and she deserved to be with someone who would stick around. Maybe Archie had matured in the past couple of years, but I couldn’t trust that he wasn’t going to hurt her.

  Walking back toward the door, I muttered, “It’s been a long day. Let’s just end this.”

  “Figures you don’t have any answer for me.”

  I whipped my head around. “I don’t owe you any answers.”

  “Nice. Real nice. Good discussion, Caleb.” He shook his head. “What the hell has got into you?”

  I waited in the kitchen until Archie finally went upstairs to his room. I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t detour to the basement. But when I returned to my room, I couldn’t sleep for the life of me.

  ***

  When I woke up in the morning, I checked my phone to find an email from Teagan. She’d written it just a few minutes earlier. It had been a while since she’d sent me an email. This probably wasn’t good.

  From: Teagan Carroll

  To: Caleb Yates

  Subject: You’ve got some nerve.

  Caleb,

  The more I think about it, the more I can’t hold this in. I’m really confused as to why you’re acting the way you are. You have zero right to dictate who I can and cannot spend time with. If I wanted to hang out with Archie last night, that was my choice and not your place to intervene. Who do you think you are?

  It wasn’t the first time she’d asked me that question. Right now, I was a jealous bastard.

  I should’ve apologized, but instead I did the opposite.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  * * *

  TEAGAN

  A few minutes after I sent Caleb the email, which I knew was his least-favorite means of communication, I checked my phone to find he’d responded.

  That was fast.

  My heart pounded as I clicked on his message.

  From: Caleb Yates

  To: Teagan Carroll

  RE: You’ve got some nerve.

  Dear Teagan,

  Since you’re clearly mistaken about my intentions last night, I’ll happily re-write your message.

  Dear Caleb,

  The longer I think about it, the more I’ve come to realize your actions last night were for my own good. At first, I was confused as to why you acted the way you did. I thought perhaps you felt you had the right to dictate who I could and could not spend time with. But then I decided, if you were acting so belligerent toward your own friend, you must know something I don’t. You must be doing it to protect me. You must have a DAMN GOOD reason. Originally, I was going to ask, “Who do you think you are?” But I know who you are: a good friend, who’s only looking out for me.

  My blood pressure rose. He’s back to this again?

  I wanted so badly to write him back, but I didn’t have enough time to come up with the right response since I was already late for class. So instead I grabbed my backpack and headed out the door, obsessing the entire way to school.

  ***

  Before our testy email exchange this morning, Caleb and I had had a study session scheduled for tonight. Given the Archie situation, I wasn’t sure now if our plans were still intact.

  Neither Archie nor Caleb was at supper. Archie apparently had a business dinner with some colleagues, and Caleb had told Maura he’d picked up a shift at the restaurant.

  Given that, I was shocked when he appeared at my bedroom door at 8PM sharp.

  My heart beat faster. “I wasn’t expecting you tonight.”

  He entered and sat down in his usual spot at the desk across from my bed. “Why not? We need to study.” His tone was a little pissy.

  “Yeah, but given our falling out this morning, I just thought—”

  “It wasn’t a falling out. It was a clarification.”

  “Well, let me clarify something, then. I don’t appreciate it when you twist my words and send them back to me.”

  His face turned angry. “Do you remember what I told you when I first moved in about writing to me instead of talking to me when I’m home?”

  “It was early. I wasn’t sure if you were up yet, and I didn’t want to wake you. I needed to get it off my chest.”

  When I said chest, his eyes fell to my breasts briefly. I’d put on a shirt similar to the one I’d worn bowling, one that hugged my curves. I’d continued wearing my hair down, too, and wore a little makeup, albeit not as much as that first night. My need to make Caleb
eat his heart out had trumped my fear of looking like Ariadne, it seemed. And I was rethinking that fear anyway, as my dad hadn’t seemed bothered by my new look. He’d been only positive and supportive. So maybe my worries about triggering bad memories for him had been just that—my worries.

  “Teagan, hopefully this is the last time I have to remind you that if you have something to say to me, say it, so we can talk about it. I don’t play the email game.”

  Fine. I’ll say it.

  “Why did you tell Archie I wasn’t his type?” I blurted.

  Caleb’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “I overheard you talking in the kitchen the day after I took him sightseeing. He expressed interest in asking me out. You didn’t warn him not to mess around with me. Instead you said I wasn’t his type. You never clarified what that meant. And I’ve been left wondering.”

  Caleb’s lip twitched. He finally let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t know you were listening.”

  “Clearly,” I huffed.

  “Honestly? I don’t even know what I meant by it, Teagan. I would’ve said anything at that point to discourage him from pursuing you. Saying you weren’t his type was my way of getting around having to tell him I didn’t think he was worthy of you. It was not a dig at you, if that’s what you thought. Just the opposite.”

  I looked at him for a moment, still perplexed. Even if he was trying to protect me, he had no right to intervene.

  “What if I wanted him to pursue me?”

  Caleb’s face reddened. “I can’t stop you from doing anything. He’s my friend, but he treats women like absolute rubbish.”

  “He seems to think you were the same way back in England.”

  “I was,” he said without hesitation.

  “And you’re not now?”

  “I’m a bit older and wiser.”

  “Then why can’t you say the same about Archie?”

  “I’m just venturing my best guess, based on past experience, that Archie isn’t right for you. Do you want to get involved with someone who’s leaving in less than three months?”