Mary

by Peggy McKenzie

  “Mary sensed there were things in my past that had hurt me deeply. Things that I had refused to deal with since I was pretty young. When I refused to tell her anything about myself, she opened up to me. About her kidnapping. Her life as a slave. And her life as a Ute.”

  “And did her opening up to you help you?” Hope asked.

  “Not at first. I was convinced that my losses couldn’t be topped, but then Mary told me about her life as a Ute. Did you know she had a husband?” He stole a look to Hope. The surprise on her face told him she didn’t.

  “Yeah, not only did she lose her mother, father, and brother, she lost members of the Ute tribe she considered family, and she lost her husband of ten years.”

  “Have you had such a loss, Doc? You’ve never really talked about your past, but I sensed that you had something—”

  “Yeah, I’ve had losses and someday I’ll tell you all about them, but right now I need your advice about something else.”

  “Alright. What about?”

  “I’ve been hiding something about myself because I was given some bad advice a long time ago . . . advice I took to heart, but now I realize that I shouldn’t have listened.”

  “Did Mary help you come to this realization?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what kind of advice can I give you?”

  “I’m going to come clean about my past. It’s time for me to be honest with the citizens of this town, but most of all, I need to be honest with myself. And once I do that, things may change for me around Creede. People may not want me to be their physician anymore. I can live with that. But what I can’t live with is not examining my feelings for Mary.”

  “And have you determined what those feelings are? Friends or something more?”

  “After last night, we are well past just being friends.”

  “I see. And are these feelings for Mary because of last night or do you sense they run much deeper than physical attraction between the two of you?”

  Doc stared at his hands in his lap. “That’s a good question. It’s more than just physical attraction, although I was smitten the moment I saw her. It’s a deeper connection. It’s like she sees my spirit . . . my soul. She sees the real me and she doesn’t shy away from that man.”

  “Do you think you’re in love with Mary?” Hope’s words fell softly in the quiet of his office.

  “Do I think I’m in love with Mary?” he repeated Hope’s question giving himself time to reflect before he answered. “I can’t really say I know what love is. I haven’t allowed anyone to get past my defenses in a long, long time. But if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say yes, I’m in love with Mary.”

  “Finally.” Hope grinned.

  “Finally?”

  “Yes, I knew the minute I saw you two together, you were smitten with Liam’s sister. No, you were more than smitten. I just didn’t think you’d allow yourself to admit your feelings for Mary. But lo and behold, you have done it.” She rose from her chair and gave him a warm, heart-felt hug. “I’m so happy for you, my friend. Does Mary know yet?”

  He stood and faced Hope. “No, I wanted to talk about it, but she didn’t seem receptive this morning and then Liam and Miles showed up, so it was kind of awkward after that.”

  “Well, what are you waiting for? You aren’t getting any younger, doctor.” She was teasing him about his age again.

  “I thought I’d give her a little time and then I’d go over this evening and take her for a stroll so we could talk without interruptions.”

  “I think that’s a perfect idea.”

  Chapter 16

  After Mary and Liam left Doc at the stables, she rode beside her brother until they arrived at the Hanovers. Without a glance or a word at her brother, she dismounted and led Jasper to the barn. But Liam wasn’t done humiliating her it seemed.

  “I think we need to have a talk about you and—”

  She whirled and stabbed Liam with a hard look. “I don’t need to have a talk with you about anything. You keep forgetting I’m not a child. I’ve lived ten lifetimes compared to someone else my age, so stop smothering me, Liam. Just stop it. What happens, or doesn’t happen, between me and Doc, is none of your business or anyone else’s for that matter. Do I make myself clear?”

  She saw Liam’s face blush hot and knew he was angry. He would just have to get over it. She’d made her position clear and if he couldn’t accept it, then she would force him to see her point of view.

  “Yes, you’re quite clear, Mary. And you’re right. Your personal life is none of my business, but you can’t blame me for being worried, can you? Not after our history.”

  He was no longer angry, but she wanted to make her position crystal clear for the last time. “I don’t blame you for worry, Liam. I just can’t allow you to control my life. These marks on my face should be explanation enough. Don’t you understand? I will never allow anyone to own me or take away my control again. And that includes you, my dear brother. I’m strong, and I’ve survived much worse than an overnight stay in the mountains, with or without an escort. Allow me to make my own decisions. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “Alright. I promise not to meddle, but I won’t promise not to worry.”

  She offered her brother a smile. “That’s all I can ask of you, Liam. Now, go to work. It’s getting late and you probably have court hearings or something to see to.”

  He grinned back and without saying another word, he turned his horse around and trotted out of the courtyard. Perhaps she and Liam had made headway today.

  Mary led Jasper to the barn and turned the horse over to Angus. She wanted to go see Doc, and talk about their night on the mountain together, but she needed time to think herself before she did. She had decisions to make herself. If Doc proclaimed his love for her, would he want to stay in Creede? And, if he did, could she resign herself to stay too? That was something she needed to think about, long and hard.

  Mary spent the rest of the morning sitting in her room thinking to herself until a knock startled her from her thoughts. “Come in.”

  Aggie pushed the door open and stuck her head inside. “Are you getting hungry? Sarah has made some delicious pinto beans with ham and cornbread slathered with sweet cream butter. Life just doesn’t get any better than that, does it?”

  Mary laughed at the woman’s enthusiasm for the simple things in life.

  “No, it doesn’t,” Mary agreed.

  “Is everything alright? I don’t mean to pry, but I know you and Doc didn’t come back yesterday, so I was wondering if—”

  “So was my brother. So much that he and the sheriff came looking for me and Doc. It was quite humiliating, you now, to be twenty-eight years old and hunted down by one’s brother.”

  Aggie laughed. “I can only imagine, although in Liam’s defense, he’s spent so much time without you, he’s over-compensating for time lost. In time, he’ll relax. I’m sure of it.”

  “That’s just it, I’m not sure there’ll ever be enough time for my brother.”

  “Are you still thinking about leaving and going back to the mountains?”

  “Yes . . . and no. I’m slowly getting used to living in town, but I haven’t actually been seen in town much.” She didn’t enlighten Aggie about what happened the one time she did go out by herself.

  “That’s true and I’ve been thinking about that very thing. Me and the sisterhood have been doing some thinking, and—”

  “The sisterhood?” Mary had never heard of such a thing.

  Aggie grinned. “Yes. The sisterhood consists of Grace, Faith, Hope, Charity, and myself even though I’m not actually one of the sisters. I’m more the leader of the sisterhood, I suppose. Anyway, we were all thinking that it might be good to throw a big party and invite some of the other families in town we know we can trust—”

  Mary caught the word and knew what Aggie meant. “Trust as in families who won’t run in fear when they see my face?” Mary noted.

  “Yes, I’m
afraid you’re right, but we must start somewhere, don’t you think? Otherwise, you’ll never be fully accepted here.”

  “Do you think that is really going to happen?”

  “Yes, I do. Under the right circumstances. And that’s where me and the sisterhood comes in. In fact, I have a list downstairs on my desk I need to get to Hiram. Would you like to accompany me? It might be good for people to see you in my company. At least at first.”

  “Yes, I can see the wisdom in that. And yes, I would love to accompany you down to your husband’s office.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Come down and eat lunch with me, and then we will make this town sit up and take notice.” Aggie hugged her in a warm embrace. Mary knew whether she stayed or left, she would always cherish Aggie Hanover’s warmth and understanding. It was like having a third mother and what girl couldn’t consider herself lucky to have such good fortune after losing the first two?

  After lunch, she and Aggie walked uptown to the Hanover and O’Brien law office. When they arrived, they heard Hiram and Liam talking in Hiram’s office. They headed toward the back of the law office when the front door opened and a middle-aged woman walked in. “Aggie. I thought that was you I saw walk in. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about—” It was then the woman caught a glimpse of her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—” Mary knew the minute the woman spotted her tattoos. “Oh, my. I mean—”

  “Viola, this is Liam’s sister, Mary. Mary, this is a friend of mine, Viola Carter. She’s one of the families I was telling you about.”

  “Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Carter.” Mary offered her hand and the woman took it. She could tell the woman was affected by her marks, but she had to give the woman credit for making a great effort to pretend otherwise.

  “It’s so nice to finally meet you too, Mary. I’m so sorry about . . . everything you’ve been through and if there’s anything you need, I’ll help you in anyway I can. All you have to do is ask.” The woman stammered and as much as she tried to hold Mary’s eye contact, her eyes keep drifting back to Mary’s cheek.

  She hated pity, but at least the woman was trying to be civil which is more than most people had done since she’d been forced to leave the Utes.

  Viola turned her attention back to Aggie. “I hate to interrupt, but I wonder if I could borrow Aggie for just a minute. There’s something I needed to discuss with her. Would you mind?” The woman asked sweetly, but she couldn’t stop staring at Mary’s cheek.

  “Not a bit. I’ll go see Liam.”

  Aggie left with her friend and she could see them talking out on the sidewalk. It appeared that Viola was giving Aggie some bad news if the look on Aggie’s face was any indication. Oh well, if it was about her, she’d know soon enough.

  She turned down the hallway to the back of the building where Liam and Hiram’s voice drifted. Not wanting to interrupt their conversation, she walked down the hallway quietly, looking through open doorways as she went. The next to the last door seemed to be a library for the walls were lined in shelves and those shelves were completely covered in books. There must be hundreds and hundreds of books. It had been a long time since Mary had even seen a book, must less opened one. Perhaps there was something on these shelves she might enjoy.

  She entered the library and walked around the room, studying the titles of the books, taking one off the shelf to study it closer, then putting it back only to grab another one. It was a splendid room, and she would ask Liam and Hiram if she could borrow a book to take back with her to the Hanover’s.

  “Oh, look. The Last of the Mohicans. I remember that from school. This would be a perfect book to read.” She pulled the leather bound book off the shelf and sat down at the table to study it close when she heard raised voices coming down the hallway.

  “Liam, you can’t be serious. That is an underhanded thing for a brother to do.” It was Hiram’s voice and it appeared as if he was scolding her brother for something. She listened closer.

  “I just presented the idea to Doc.” Liam replied. What idea, she wondered.

  “But that’s dishonest and I expected better from you, especially when it involves your sister.”

  Mary’s interest was now fully engaged at the mention of her in this conversation. She moved closer to the doorway so she wouldn’t miss a word.

  “I didn’t offer to pay him, Hiram. I just said it would be nice if he could pay a little more attention to Mary so perhaps in time, she would develop feelings for him and she wouldn’t want to leave town anymore.”

  Mary’s ears rang and her head spun in disbelief. Surely, she hadn’t heard right. Liam wouldn’t—Doc would never—would he?

  “And what happens if Mary falls in love with our good doctor? You know as well as I do, Doc Howard isn’t the marrying kind. Did you ever think how Mary would feel then?”

  Her brother and Doc were manipulating her behind her back? She was a fool, for she had fallen into their trap with ease. They must really be proud of themselves, especially after last night. No wonder Doc wanted to talk about his feelings this morning. He wanted to be sure she knew he wasn’t the marrying kind and not to get too involved with a man like him.

  Tears burned, and for a moment, she lost her will to fight. She was tired of fighting. The only place she didn’t have to fight was among the Utes, and that’s where she would be by the end of the week.

  A sob slipped out of her throat and she realized tears had now slipped down both cheeks. She heard a scuffle of chair legs across a wooden floor and footsteps came toward her. She didn’t bother to hide the fact she had been eavesdropping or the fact she’d heard everything.

  “Mary, what are you doing here?” Liam asked her while Hiram stood quietly behind him.

  “The question you should be asking me, dear brother, is how long have I been here? The answer to that question is much more interesting.”

  “Mary, don’t be upset. It wasn’t what it sounded like—”

  “It was exactly what it sounded like.” She glared at her brother and then shot a look to Hiram in the hallway. “He knows what it was. Why else would he be admonishing you for treating your sister so shabbily? He knows and now, so do I.”

  “But Mary, I was just trying to do what was best for—”

  “You were just trying to do what was best for you. I told you I would stay until we had reconciled to our mutual satisfaction. I think I’ve had enough.”

  She turned to push past him and he grabbed hold of her. “Mary, please listen. It wasn’t like we conspired against you. To the contrary. I didn’t even know Doc was going planning to take you to the mountains. And I certainly didn’t know he was going to—”

  Her humiliation was complete. “Sleep with me? Is that what you were going to say? You didn’t know he would stoop low enough to sleep with someone like me?”

  She jerked her arm away and ran down the hallway almost running Aggie over on the way out the door.

  “Oh my. What’s happened?”

  She heard Aggie exclaim just before the door slammed shut behind her.

  Home. She just wanted to go home. All she needed to make that happen was a horse and a gun. Lucky for her, she knew right where to find both.

  Doc worked beside Hope for the rest of the days seeing to numerous patients. He did his best to focus, but his mind was pre-occupied looking forward to tonight. He had finally come to the realization that his feelings for Mary ran much deeper than physical attraction. He knew he was in love with her and probably had been since their trip across the mountains on the way to Creede.

  “That was our last patient. You better get going.” Hope’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

  “Going? Where?”

  “Aren’t you going to see Mary this evening?”

  “Yes, I am. I just didn’t want to push her in case she wasn’t feeling the same way I am. Remember? She was the one who didn’t want to talk about her feelings this morning? I want to give her room in case—”

&nb
sp; The door to his office swung open and Liam rushed inside, out of breath.

  Doc turned to his friend. “Has something happened at the Hanovers? Is Hiram or Aggie—”

  “No, it’s not the Hanovers. It’s Mary.”

  His heart stuttered. “Mary? Something’s happened to Mary? Did she leave the house without someone with her?” Thoughts of the Swindell brothers punched through his calm demeanor. “I told her not to—”

  “Nothing’s happened to Mary, at least not that I know of.”

  “That you know of? What are you talking about, Liam? Is Mary alright or not?” He grabbed his medical bag and coat.

  “As far as I know, she’s alright.”

  “As far as you know? Now you’re just talking in riddles. Out with it.”

  “Mary overheard me and Hiram talking and she got upset and left,” he huffed trying to catch his breath.

  Doc cut a confused look to Hope. “Overheard you and Hiram talking about what? What could you say that would upset Mary?”

  “I was telling Hiram about our conversation the other day where I was trying to convince you to pay attention to my sister so she would stay in town.”

  Doc’s stomach rolled. “But I didn’t agree to your idea. I told you I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I know, and I tried to explain that to my sister, but she’d heard Hiram chastising me because I hadn’t yet explained to him that you’d turned me down, and so—”

  He was sick. He knew exactly what was coming next. “So she thinks that I took her up into the mountains and we—stayed the night because you asked me to so she wouldn’t leave town.” Doc closed his eyes trying to gather his composure.

  “You understand the situation exactly.”

  “Then we just have to make her see reason. Where did she go when she left your office? Back to the Hanovers?” He dropped his medical bag and stuffed his arms into his jacket. Before he made it to the door, Liam delivered more bad news.

  “No. Sarah said she never came back to the house. Where else could she go?”