Under an Alaskan Sky

by Jennifer Snow

  “It’s a crazy idea, I know. It’s extreme and out of the comfort zone, I get it.”

  Cassie heard a “but” coming.

  “But, I know you must be worried about North Mountain Sports Company opening up soon. I can promise you, they wouldn’t be offering this, but they will be offering everything else you do.”

  Way to play on her insecurities.

  “This would give you that edge I know you must be looking for.”

  Cassie bit her lip. Montana was right. North Mountain Sports Company would be offering everything her company did, with bigger numbers, name-brand recognition to draw in customers. Steal hers away. She had been looking for something different, unique...

  But this was really different and unique. Maybe too much so.

  And the bigger issue was, could she really hire Montana? The woman who had already complicated things further for her and Tank? Someone who could very well take Tank and Kaia away from her? What would Tank say if she hired his ex?

  Cassie hesitated. “The idea is really tempting...”

  “But this is awkward. I get it. Like I said, I didn’t know that you were the owner here, but it’s only awkward if we make it that way. I know you and Tank are...friends and you’re loyal to him, but I promise you, Cassie, I’m not here to mess up Tank’s life. I’m really not.”

  But she was—whether it was her intention or not, Montana’s arrival had Tank in a tailspin. Cassie hadn’t spoken to him about everything yet, but she knew the man she loved and his expression at just the sight of Montana had revealed he was conflicted. Over which things, Cassie wasn’t sure.

  What if Montana could have it all again—Tank, Kaia and a career doing something she loved?

  Could Cassie help give her all of that when it would come at such a loss for herself?

  “Can I think about it?” Montana was suggesting a solution she’d been looking for, and she may not have any control over what happened between her and Tank, but she could continue to focus on saving her company.

  “Absolutely. Take your time and just let me know,” Montana said, heading toward the door. “Thanks, Cassie.” She paused. “According to Tank, I already have a lot to thank you for.” She smiled and closed the door behind her.

  Cassie stared after her, but all she saw was the dark plastic wrapping on the exterior of the big box store chain across the street, their Opening Soon sign making her seriously contemplate the dumbest idea ever.

  * * *

  “WE NEED THE litter brought around to the west side of the peak... Tank? You there?” He heard Reed’s voice over the radio, but all his attention was focused on the text message he’d just received from Montana.

  I’d like to see Kaia. Think about it.

  Oh, he had been. In fact, he’d thought of little else for three days. Every time he tried to summon the courage to break the news to his little girl, he chickened out. He wasn’t sure what to say. The mother you’ve barely known over the years is suddenly back in town, wanting a relationship?

  What would his daughter say? How would she feel?

  So far, he’d succeeded in not finding out. What if Kaia was upset? What if it was too much, too fast? Alternatively, what if his ex was right when she said he was afraid of other outcomes, as well?

  Afraid was an understatement. He’d never had to share his daughter’s time, love or attention with another parent or guardian. No one else had weighed in on important decisions like whether or not to vaccinate—of course he did—or where she attended school or the restrictions on screen time. House rules, bedtimes, extracurricular activities, appropriate behaviors... It had all been on him. He’d figured it out. Now someone else wanted input on all of that? What if they disagreed on how to raise Kaia? Disagreed on when she could date, future curfews, whether or not she should be allowed to pierce any part of her body...

  Tank shuddered, staring at the text.

  Things had been simple. Not easy, but simple.

  Now they were a complicated mess.

  “Tank? You coming with that litter?” Reed asked, sounding impatient. “Tyler...what’s going on?”

  Tyler reached for the litter. “You still with us, man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Nope, just received his first text message from one.

  “I’m fine.” Tank put the phone away and helped drag the litter toward the west of the peak, where the search and rescue crew had located a missing hiker, just a few hours after he’d been reported missing by his friends. The well-worn hiking trail was an easy in and out. And the weather that day was mild and dry. An easy excursion. Unfortunately, the guy had been smoking pot and had had a little too much to drink from his water cooler containing straight vodka before wandering off the trail to take a leak without reappearing.

  His friends had explained he’d been going through a breakup and they were worried about him. Tank could empathize about the woman issues. Several times over the last few days, he’d wanted to run away into the woods too.

  “We’re coming...” he radioed back.

  “Seriously, you okay?” Tyler asked, matching his steps. “I heard about Montana.”

  Everyone on the crew must have by now. “Honestly, I’m a shit show...but I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, well, if you need someone to throw darts with...”

  Tank nodded. His team knew him well. Unfortunately, throwing darts wouldn’t make this issue disappear. He couldn’t ignore it and hoped it (Montana) just went away. He had to face this...and answering her text was the first step. Later. “I’ll let you know.”

  Arriving at the site where the other three crew members were waiting, he placed the litter next to the intoxicated, stoned hiker. “Any injuries we need to be careful of?” he was asking Reed, but the hiker answered.

  “Does a broken heart count?”

  “Absolutely,” Reed answered. Then to Tank, “He’s fine...physically.”

  Tank nodded as he helped Reed lift the man onto the litter. It would take forever to get him out of there if they allowed him to walk. They said vodka had no smell, so clearly it wasn’t the man’s first or only poison that day. And his bloodshot eyes and the scent of weed lingering on his hair and clothes confirmed what the friends had said about the drugs.

  Even though he was uninjured, the best plan was to bring him back to the station to make sure there was nothing else in his system, then let him sleep this off.

  “She was everything to me...the sun, the moon...the sun,” the guy rambled as they covered him with a blanket.

  Tank shot a look at Reed.

  Reed shrugged. “She was the sun.”

  “Apparently,” Tank mumbled. He readjusted his gear as he and Reed lifted the litter and they hiked the three miles back to town.

  “Is he okay?” the guy’s friend asked as they carried him into the station and set him on the cot in the corner an hour later.

  “He’s fine. Just needs to sleep this off. No more drinking and hiking, okay?” Reed said to the group. “And while it’s legal, pot can seriously mess with your awareness, so that’s not the best idea either...unless you’ve set up camp and plan to stay overnight.”

  Tank let Reed give the lecture, slipping outside to wash their search and rescue vans. He needed to keep his hands busy so he had an excuse not to respond to the text.

  How long could he put this off?

  Reed joined him outside a few minutes later, pushing up the sleeves of his search and rescue sweatshirt and filling a bucket of water. “Other than the obvious, what’s up with you?”

  Tank retrieved his phone and showed Reed the text.

  “Shit. Already? She’s only been here a few days.” He glared at the phone as though personally offended and it made Tank feel a little better. He really wasn’t alone in this. Thank God for his buddy.

  “It’s too soon, right? I m
ean I’ve barely spoken to her.” What happened to not wanting to rush things? This was supposed to be at his pace. Kaia’s pace.

  “Yes, of course.” Reed paused, still staring at the message. “I mean, I don’t know... Does Kaia want to see her? Finally meet her face-to-face? Your feelings aside, I think that should be the consideration here.”

  Tank tucked the phone into his back pocket and sprayed the van at full blast. “I haven’t told her yet.” His voice was barely audible above the water.

  “Tank, man, avoidance can only go so far.” Reed bent and soaped up a sponge, attacking the van doors.

  “Do you want to tell Kaia?”

  “Hell, no. But she needs to know. Deserves to know.”

  Of course Reed could be biased in his opinion. His own father disappearing when he was a teen might be clouding his friend’s judgment, but unfortunately, Reed was right.

  Countless variations of responses in his mind and two sparkling clean vans later, he climbed into his truck and sat staring at the message.

  There was really only one way to answer that made any sense.

  Okay. How do you suggest we do this?

  If Montana was going to be in Kaia’s life, she could start helping him make the tough decisions. Starting with this one.

  * * *

  A GOOD RUN with Diva usually helped to clear her mind and help her refocus. But that day, it had only made Cassie more anxious. North Mountain Sports Company had doubled their efforts in promoting their grand opening. Flyers were posted all over town, even in the storefront windows of local companies whose owners had petitioned against the store opening in the first place.

  Can’t beat them, join them, I guess.

  But Cassie wouldn’t. No matter how bad things got, she refused to work for the big chain store. Closing her business, selling her condo and moving back in with her mother in Willow Lake wasn’t the worst thing, was it?

  She slowed her pace as her storefront came into view on Main Street. Diva’s excited bark and tail wag revealed the dog had noticed Tank sitting on the bottom step leading to her condo just as she did.

  Great. Perfect timing. She hadn’t showered yet and she was sweaty and no doubt looked like shit. He stood and waved nervously as she approached.

  Diva ran straight for him and Tank bent to pet the dog affectionately.

  Would Tank ever be that excited to see her?

  Right now, he looked scared.

  “Hey...what are you doing here?” she asked, fighting to catch her breath.

  “Needed to talk and I was hoping...”

  That she was available. Of course. What else was new? “Come on up,” she said, climbing the stairs to her condo. She unlocked the door and he followed her inside.

  Then started silently pacing her living room.

  What should she say? Should she ask about Montana? Tell him his ex had come to see her and pitched a crazy idea? Did he know about that already? Was that why he was here? She cleared her throat. “So...how are you?” Translation: How are we? Have you thought at all about the kiss or have you been preoccupied with thoughts of your ex? Are we still moving forward or are the brakes on temporarily...or permanently?

  He looked exhausted as he ran a hand over his beard. “I don’t know.”

  Seemed to be the answer she was expecting to all her unvoiced questions. She nodded. But although she’d love to not know, she had to ask, “Have you spoken to Montana since the other night?” Have you hugged her? Touched her? Kissed her? Planned to get back together?

  “Only through texts.”

  Cassie released a sigh of relief, then tried to hide it behind a cough.

  “She’s asking to meet Kaia.”

  “Already?”

  “It’s too soon, right?” He searched her expression for validation for his feelings and she would have liked to give him some, but...

  A meeting was ten years overdue, more likely. “Maybe not. I mean, she’s been here a few days. Wild River is a small town. The last thing you want is for Kaia to run into her when you’re not around. That would be much harder.” Kaia seeing her mom unexpectedly could be traumatic for her...or impactful in some negative way, and she’d definitely be upset that Tank hadn’t told her.

  Tank nodded. “I know she will be upset if I don’t tell her about Montana and she finds out that her mom’s been here for a while.”

  “Exactly. You can’t keep them apart forever,” she said softly. And he was a good man, so she knew he’d never want to. Montana not being in Kaia’s life was never his fault or intention. Sure, over the years, it had become the norm and changing that now would be difficult, but deep down, he had to know this would ultimately benefit Kaia.

  Tank’s shoulders fell. “Yeah, you’re right. You usually are.”

  Not that he always listened. Particularly when it came to how fantastic the two of them could be together.

  He must have read where her thoughts had wandered. “And I just wanted to say, I really am sorry about the other night...the kiss and Montana.”

  Not just Montana...but the kiss too. So he was regretting it. That hurt, but she’d learned to keep a protective layer when dealing with Tank and any kind of emotion. Her self-preservation was second to none. She squared her shoulders as she dismissed the conversation. “Hey, who’s watching the bar right now?”

  He sighed. Either annoyed that she’d skirted the issue or relieved; she’d put money on the latter. “No one. I expect all of my top shelf liquor will be gone by the time I get back.”

  His attempt at a joke spoke volumes about where they were, so, as usual, she played along. It was really the only thing she could do. “Then you better go before they take the cheap stuff too.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  SO THEY WERE really doing this. Montana’s response had luckily echoed how he felt about this first meeting. They both agreed the best option was to tell Kaia face-to-face. Together. In a safe space—her home. That way, everything was on her turf. A public place seemed too inappropriate for what was sure to be an emotional event, one way or another... This was the right thing.

  Damn, he hoped.

  “Alexa, lights on,” Tank said as the sun dipped lower in the sky and the house darkened. Too bright? “Alexa, dim the lights.” Too much of a weird ambience? “Alexa, more light.”

  He had ten minutes before Montana’s arrival and clearly he was losing his mind.

  “Alexa, lights off.” He opened all the living room curtains instead.

  Going into the hallway, he opened the linen closet and retrieved a set of throw cushions Cassie’s mother had made him and added them to the sofa. Throw cushions were homey, right?

  Going into the hall bathroom, he quickly scanned the sink and toilet to make sure everything was spotless. Even the toothbrush holder had been scrubbed and he’d replaced the shower curtain and bath mat earlier that day. He sniffed, then he blew the dust off of a cinnamon-scented candle and lit it.

  The timer on the oven chimed and he hurried to the kitchen to retrieve the batch of brownies he’d made. Just a single dad baking brownies in the middle of the afternoon. That was normal, right?

  If things went well, they’d have a snack to enjoy... And if things went sideways, Kaia would have enough chocolate to stuff her face with.

  God, he hoped things went well. Though he wasn’t certain what constituted “well.”

  Placing the brownies on the stove, he scanned the kitchen.

  Everything was neat. Counters weren’t cluttered. Dishes were all put away in the dishwasher...the hardwood floors gleamed.

  Man, what was he so stressed about?

  It was just Montana coming over. Not child services. But damn, he felt like he was going to be under close inspection. Why did he feel the need to prove himself? According to Kaia, he was a great dad. He tried his best. Their home wasn’t a milli
on-dollar mansion, but it was safe and comfortable. He provided everything Kaia needed...

  The doorbell rang exactly nine minutes later and his pep talk to himself went to hell as he quickly surveyed the house again. “No turning back,” he muttered as he went to the front door.

  “Hi,” Montana said. “Thanks for inviting me over.”

  Did he really have a choice? After his quick chat with Cassie earlier that day, he knew the best thing to do was get this introductory meeting out of the way as quickly and hopefully as painlessly as possible. Then they could all move forward. Whatever way that was.

  Seeing Cassie that day and still not having any answers for her had been torture. He’d seen the questions she refused to ask and he’d cowardly taken the break she’d given him. Truth was, he had no answers right now, but as soon as he had any clarity, she’d be the first one he owed them to.

  “Come in,” Tank said, moving away from the door to let Montana enter. “Kaia should be home in a few minutes. The school bus usually arrives between three twelve and three fifteen. I always offer to pick her up from school, but she likes the socialization aspect of taking the bus with her friends...” Why was he explaining himself?

  “Yeah, that totally makes sense. And I’m sure it’s an independence thing,” Montana said.

  Great. So she got it. Maybe a little too well. He’d assumed she knew absolutely nothing about kids and parenting... Had been hoping, maybe.

  She scanned the interior of the house. “Great place.”

  “Thank you. Coffee? Tea? Whiskey?”

  She laughed, the sound immediately bringing him back to when they first met. Her vibrancy, her passion and energy had been what had attracted him most. The same qualities that attracted him now to Cassie. No one could say he didn’t have a type. Someone who was his complete opposite, someone who made him enjoy life just by surrounding him with that energy.

  He’d never had anyone in his life like that growing up, so he seemed addicted to it now. For better or worse.