Under an Alaskan Sky

by Jennifer Snow

  “I’m okay for now, but maybe keep the whiskey close by,” she said.

  “You got it.”

  Removing her hat and winter coat, she hesitated... “What should I do with this?”

  “I’ll take it,” he said, hanging it in the closet near the door. “Make yourself at home. Living room is to the right.”

  He followed her into it and stood awkwardly, checking the time. Just twelve more minutes. Montana sat on the couch, then stood again, wiping her palms against the legs of her jeans.

  At least he wasn’t the only one sweating. And the combination of smells—cinnamon from the bathroom candle and chocolate from the brownies and Pine-Sol from all his cleaning was making him slightly nauseous.

  Maybe he’d overdone it a little.

  Montana approached the wall and scanned the variety of framed pictures. Kaia’s school pictures from each grade lined one wall. “Thank you for sending me copies of these, by the way. I looked forward to seeing how much she’d grown from year to year.”

  “Yeah. Of course.” He’d sent the photos along with a copy of her school report card. Other than Christmas cards and birthday gifts every year, it was really the only contact between them until recently. Montana had claimed that too much contact was difficult for her, and he’d agreed that maybe the minimal communications helped to keep things simple.

  But that had changed in recent months and now, Tank wasn’t so sure they’d made the right call. Montana was a huge mystery to Kaia...so that could backfire now in a dozen different ways.

  She studied the pictures of Kaia with Diva from the winter before. It was a promotional shoot for Cassie’s company and the photographer had taken some breathtaking shots of his daughter and the puppy playing in the snow with the mountains in the background. Kaia’s dark hair against her red snowsuit and the radiant look of happiness on her face made the pictures his favorite.

  “These are beautiful. Do you have a dog?” She glanced around.

  “No. That’s Diva. Cassie’s dog.” In his latest crisis, he’d forgotten about his other dilemma with the dog. “Kaia’s very attached.”

  “Right...” Montana’s gaze fell to the set of photos with Cassie in them. Hiking in Canyon Ridge, Halloween when they all dressed as characters from Guardians of the Galaxy, Cassie’s birthday dinner at Meat & More Steakhouse a few months before, New Year’s Eve at The Drunk Tank, skiing, hiking trips, camping... Shit, there were a lot of photos. Maybe he should have taken some of them down...

  No. This was his house. If Montana was uncomfortable seeing the life she was missing out on, that wasn’t on him. And Cassie was a big part of their lives.

  Montana turned to look at him. “Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this here. I mean, she might feel like I’m invading her space. Maybe a restaurant or a park...”

  Tank glanced at his watch at the sound of school bus brakes outside. “Too late. This is it.” His heart pounded as he glanced out the window and saw her getting off the bus a block away. Coat open, flapping in the wind, her scarf dragging on the ground, she lugged a heavy-looking backpack over one shoulder. “So, she might be upset, angry, confused at first... I mean, until recently, there’s been little contact...”

  “I know.” She sounded slightly defensive, but then her tone softened. “I’m prepared for that.”

  At least someone was.

  “We haven’t given her a heads-up. She’s probably going to be shocked.” He certainly had been. “She might just go into her room and refuse to come out.” She’d been spending a lot more time in her room lately and Tank had no idea how to deal with her suddenly constantly changing moods. She was ten. He’d wrongfully assumed he’d have another couple of years before the moody teenage years.

  He’d been wondering how Kaia and he would get through those years without a mother to teach her woman stuff. But he’d told himself they would make it through as they had every other stage. He’d been nervous when she’d been a baby. He was so big and she was so little, he was afraid of holding her too tight or crushing her whenever she’d fall asleep in his bed. School had terrified him—he had no fashion sense and no idea what a little girl would like as far as clothes and hair stuff. She preferred her plaid shirts and jeans to dresses and skirts and she liked the outdoors and being active. They were a lot alike and Tank had been grateful for that.

  Would she change now with her mom here, influencing her?

  One thing at a time.

  The sound of the door opening had him taking a deep breath. Tension in his shoulders had him aching worse than if he was on hour twenty of a rescue mission.

  Concern for his daughter and how she was going to react had him in knots.

  “Dad, do you want me to check the mail?” she called out.

  He heard her backpack being tossed into the closet. “No, I did that already. Um...come on into the living room. We have a...guest.”

  “Are Cassie and Diva here?” she asked, excitement in her voice.

  Tank caught the look of nervous disappointment in Montana’s expression.

  “Nope, someone else who wants to see you,” Tank said as his daughter appeared in the living room.

  She stopped, her tiny face revealing nothing as she stared at Montana.

  Silence was ear-shattering. Was Montana even breathing? Was he?

  No one spoke. No one moved.

  Guess he better say something. “Kaia, your mom decided to come for a visit...” He still wasn’t sure how long she planned to stay. She said she was here to make a life in Wild River, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about that yet and he wasn’t prepared to fully accept the news. And if she changed her mind, he didn’t want to disappoint Kaia.

  Montana wiped the palms of her hands against the legs of her jeans again and cleared her throat. “Hi, Kaia.” Caution, hesitancy in her voice.

  Kaia continued to stare.

  “I’m sorry to surprise you like this. I probably should have called first or told you last week during our Skype chat.” Montana looked uncomfortable as the silence continued from the little girl.

  Tank held a breath, waiting for his daughter to say something. Get angry, get upset, run to her bedroom. Her silence and expressionless face were so much worse. What was going on in there?

  Did he say something?

  “I missed you so much,” Montana said, barely above a whisper, but the words seemed to echo off the walls around them and wake Kaia from her trance.

  She ran across the living room and wrapped her arms around Montana’s waist, and Montana’s sharp inhale was in sync with his own.

  “I missed you too,” Kaia whispered against Montana’s stomach. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Montana’s arms went around Kaia and Tank looked away, the emotions suddenly choking him a complete surprise. His chest was tight, his stomach twisted in a knot and his palms were sweating.

  This was a good thing. Kaia was happy to see her mom. There was no crying or anger. This reunion had gone a lot better than he’d expected.

  So, why was there an empty, hollow feeling in his core?

  * * *

  CASSIE OPENED THE front door of her family home, and caught the handle in her gut as she came up short. The door was blocked. “Mom!” she called through the opening. “Let me in, it’s pouring!” Sudden, unforecasted rain came down in sheets around her and she pushed harder on the door. Just running from the truck, she was drenched. “Mom!”

  “Coming... I’m coming...hang on,” Arlene said. She struggled to slide several boxes away from the front door to allow Cassie to enter.

  She shivered and shook rain from her hair as she surveyed the stack of cardboard boxes that extended all the way down the hallway. “What’s all this?” Cassie removed her wet jacket and hung it near the door on the hook labeled with her name. A home-economics project of Reed’s from seventh grade. It even
had their dad’s name on it...

  Arlene took a second to catch her breath. “Some old things of yours and Reed’s. Finally getting around to cleaning out the attic... You know, I’ve been reading a lot about decluttering lately,” she said, picking up a book from a table near the door. “You should read this.”

  “I’m typically not a hoarder.” Her open concept apartment left little room for clutter. And she had little storage space in her loft-style condo above SnowTrek Tours. Nowhere to put all of these boxes labeled with her name.

  “I’ll help you carry these to your truck.” Her mother put on her rain boots and grabbed her raincoat from a hook near the door.

  “It’s a torrential downpour out there,” Cassie said.

  “Ah...it’s just a little rain. When you were a kid, you would go outside in this weather all the time.”

  “Well, I’m not a kid anymore and I’m freezing.”

  Arlene zipped her coat and raised the hood. “Fine. You stay in and warm up. I’ll put these in the back and drape a tarp down over them.”

  “Mom, wait. What am I going to do with all of this?” Wasn’t the old family home the place grown-ass kids were allowed to store their junk? Didn’t her mother love reminiscing about their childhoods and having all of their awards and old school stuff close at hand to go through when she was feeling nostalgic? Wasn’t that what parents did?

  “What would you like me to keep doing with it?”

  Cassie sighed. “Point taken, but I thought you invited me over for dinner...” She sniffed, but there were no delicious smells coming from the kitchen.

  “I already ate,” Arlene said, picking up one of the boxes. “If you decide to help, lift with your legs. Those are heavy—yearbooks, I think.”

  “Mom! I’m starving.” And even if she wasn’t hungry, she was ready to stress-eat her face off. She’d purposely chosen that night to take her mom up on her dinner offer because tonight was the night Tank was introducing Kaia to Montana and Cassie was far too stressed to stay in Wild River. Not that driving to Willow Lake, distracted by the knowledge that right at that moment Kaia was meeting her mom for the first time, was a great idea. Between the rain making the roads slick and her distracted mind, she’d been a hazard on the highway.

  “So was I after carrying all of these boxes down from the attic,” her mother said, kicking the door open and heading outside.

  Unbelievable.

  Cassie put her coat back on and put her own hood up, tying it tight. Picking up the lightest-looking box, she followed her mother outside to her truck. Struggling to balance it against the back, she unhooked the tailgate and placed the box down. “So...a book on decluttering spurred this sudden purge of our family history?”

  “It encouraged me to reexamine why I was holding on to some of these things and ask whether or not they sparked ‘joy’ in my life.”

  Oh good grief.

  Arlene headed back inside for more boxes and five minutes later, they were soaking wet, but Cassie’s truck was loaded.

  “Want to take Reed’s things too?” her mother asked.

  “Nope. I want the food I was promised,” Cassie said, heading into the kitchen. Seeing a bunch of old photos of the interior of their house, she frowned. “What are these pictures for?”

  Her mother hesitated. “Oh, I was just thinking about placing the house on the market... It’s much too big for one person.”

  Her mother was thinking of selling? What the hell? How many times over the years had she and Reed suggested her mother sell and move into a condo with less maintenance? And how many times had their mother claimed that she would die in this house? “You love this house.”

  “It’s just four walls and a roof, Cass. Home is where the heart is.”

  “Read that in a book too?”

  “Actually, that little nugget of wisdom is courtesy of a Hallmark movie. Tea?”

  “Yes, please... So, you’re moving closer to us? To Wild River?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.” She poured two mugs of tea, then opened the fridge and removed a stack of Tupperware containers. “I’ve got leftover spaghetti or chicken fettucine.”

  Cassie carried the tea to the table and sat. She looked around. A lot of clutter was missing. Her mother’s kitchen counters were usually full of cooking appliances, but only a coffee maker and a food processor remained. In fact, the kitchen was practically empty. “Where is the side table?” For as long as Cassie could remember, the side table had sat along the wall under the window, holding all of her mother’s fancy dishes and an impressive-yet-tacky collection of salt-and-pepper shakers that her regulars at the pub had given her over the years, whenever they traveled or found a unique set at a flea market... The collection had made birthday and Christmas gift ideas for their mom easy.

  “I got rid of it. Don’t worry, I donated it all to charity.”

  “Even the salt-and-pepper shakers?”

  “Darling, I hated those things. Someone gave me a set from Spain once and somehow it circulated that I enjoyed collecting them. I didn’t have the heart to say anything...” She gestured to the Tupperware containers. “Which one should I heat up for you?”

  She didn’t like the salt-and-pepper shakers—who knew? Her mother was obviously the master of fake excitement. Even if that was true, Cassie still suspected something was up. “Mom, is everything okay? Do you need money?” She’d attempted to pay her mom back for the business loan countless times over the years, but her mother refused to cash the checks she gave her.

  Arlene laughed. “Of course not. Sweetheart, I’m just thinking about the future and what makes the most sense.”

  Cassie nodded reluctantly, feeling as though there was a lot more to this decluttering than getting rid of junk.

  “Now, what do you want to eat?”

  Cassie sighed. “The spaghetti, please.”

  “Great.” Her mother put it in the microwave, then turned to her. “So, I hear Tank’s ex is back in town.”

  “You spoke to Reed?”

  Her mom nodded. “He called yesterday. I asked how you were and he mentioned it... Why is she back?”

  “To have a relationship with Kaia.”

  Her mother scoffed.

  “What?”

  “That’s a load of shit, that’s what that is. Kaia is ten years old. Montana has shown no interest until now.” She shook her head.

  “She sent birthday and Christmas gifts and called sometimes. Apparently, in recent months, they’ve been Skyping.”

  “Skyping...right, ’cause that’s the same as parenting.”

  “Mom, she had a brain injury of some sort...” Why did she feel the need to defend the other woman?

  “Darlin’, I’d have to be buried six feet under to stay away from my children.”

  Cassie swallowed hard. “So, why do you think she’s here?”

  “I don’t know, but be careful. I wouldn’t be getting too friendly with her.”

  So probably not the best idea to go into business with her either, then. She didn’t tell her mom about Montana’s offer. There was no point. She wasn’t considering it. “Well, either way, she’s at Tank’s house right now, meeting Kaia.”

  “Why are you not there?” The microwave chimed and Arlene took out the food and placed it in front of her with a fork and napkin.

  Suddenly, she wasn’t so hungry. “Because it’s a family thing... I’m not family.”

  Her mother rolled her eyes. “You are more mother to that little girl than anyone else. Shame on Tank for excluding you from this.”

  Cassie bit her lip. Was her mother right? Should Tank have asked her to be there? Would Kaia have wanted the support?

  Her mother added honey to her tea and sat across from her. “What about you and Tank? I suppose this has slowed things down again?”

  “I’m not sure
they ever picked up.” Only she knew they had. Since New Year’s Eve, things had started to change between them. Tank had seemed more willing to give things a go. They’d been flirting more. The air around them seemed to have changed whenever they were alone. And then the birthday kiss... She groaned, picking up the fork. She’d desperately pushed the memory of it out of mind the thousand times it had popped up over the last few days.

  She took a bite of the pasta. So far food hadn’t solved anything but not for lack of trying. Lately she’d been feeding her emotions with everything edible in sight. Even Diva was starting to judge her when she caught her at the fridge at two a.m.

  “Do you think Montana’s here for Tank?” her mother asked.

  “She says she’s here for Kaia,” Cassie said with a mouthful of food.

  Arlene’s eyes widened. “You spoke to her?”

  Oh shit. Cassie shoved more food into her mouth and nodded.

  Her mother waited.

  She’d get the truth out of her eventually. “She came into SnowTrek Tours looking for a job.”

  “She plans on staying?”

  “Apparently.”

  “You weren’t crazy enough to hire her, were you?”

  “Of course not!” She shoved more food into her mouth and avoided her mother’s careful, perceptive gaze.

  At least not yet anyway.

  Arlene reached across the table, a new determination in her eyes. “Darlin’, I’m only going to say this once. If you want Tank, you better get your ass in gear and go after that man before it’s too late.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  FRIDAYS, SHE PICKED Kaia up from school when Tank was on the afternoon and early evening shift at the bar. After the meeting with Montana earlier that week, Cassie had been holding her breath, wondering if she’d still be needed. Tank’s text message that morning confirming the pickup had made her feel better.

  She wasn’t being completely replaced yet.

  All week, her mother’s words of advice had rung in her mind. Her mother was right. Why wouldn’t Montana be here for Tank, as well? They had a history and a child together. Tank was an amazing man—kind, caring, compassionate, an amazing dad and hot as hell. It wouldn’t take much for Montana to fall back in love with him. But Cassie knew one thing, she wasn’t giving him up without a fight.