To Hold Forever

by Carrie Carr

  Amanda was able to silence the little voice in her head that stopped her earlier. A glance at her near-empty glass kept her from tossing it into Ashley's face. Instead, she picked up Lex's full cup and carefully poured it over the smirking woman's perfectly coiffed head.

  "You bitch!" Ashley jumped to her feet and held out her shaking hands. Mascara ran down her face and punch dripped off her nose. "Well, I never!"

  "And you never will." Amanda got right in her face. "If I find out you so much as think about Lex again, I'll kick your skanky ass."

  Lex saw the commotion across the room and jogged through the heavy throng to reach the two women. "What's going on here?"

  "Your girlfriend is a freakin' lunatic!" Ashley shoved by them both and stomped away. Catcalls and laughter followed her out into the night.

  "Amanda?" Lex took the empty cup from her lover's hand. "Hey, it's almost midnight. Let's go watch the fireworks." She'd wait until Amanda calmed down before she asked about the altercation again. Red punch wouldn't look good on her gray shirt, and she noticed several more glasses on the table.

  Amanda was still fuming. "Hateful cow. I should have decked her."

  "Um, sweetheart? Do you want me to hunt her down for you?" Her partner had always had a temper, but the hormone-induced emotions were beginning to scare Lex. She'd have to check with Martha and see if there was something she should do besides hide for the next few months. For now, a diversionary action was called for. She held out her hand. "Come on. We've never missed the fireworks. We'll worry about her later."

  Amanda took her hand and squeezed. Lex was cute when she was flustered and it always had a way of calming her. "Never mind. She's not worth the trouble. Besides, I think we've seen the last of her." She followed Lex out of the building and across the lot to the gazebo. There were much more important things to think about. Like when they could sneak away from the dance and ring in the New Year in a much more private way.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  THE BRIDAL STORE felt unreasonably warm to Amanda. She wished Jeannie would decide on a wedding dress so they could leave. Amanda was grumpy, hot, and miserable and she wanted to go home. She could feel the beginnings of a headache and wanted more than anything to be able to sit somewhere and prop up her swollen feet. "Jeannie, that's the fourth dress you've picked out. We still have to drive to Somerville, you know." The sudden trip to Austin had not been on Amanda's agenda for the day and she would have much rather stayed at home with Lex and Lorrie.

  Jeannie gave her a dirty look, but kept browsing through a rack of expensive lace gowns. She would stop ever so often, take one from the rack, hold it up to herself, and replace it. This went on for another ten minutes, until she heard her sister sigh heavily. "Now what?"

  "How can you have so much energy? It's only been about six weeks since you had Teddy." Amanda found a bench and slowly lowered herself onto it. Her back thanked her. She couldn't wait to get home so she could talk Lex into another massage. Her lover was very adept at making all her aches go away. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel Lex's hands working their magic on her. "Aren't you tired?"

  "Truthfully, I've never felt better." Jeannie carried another dress to where Amanda sat. "I'm sore from the incision, of course. But, it's so great to be able to enjoy the whole experience this time." She held the white lace and pearl-beaded creation up to her. "What do you think?"

  Amanda gave the choice careful consideration before answering. It was a beautiful dress, but far too formal for a small, intimate wedding. "It's nice. But, isn't it a little much?"

  "I don't think so." Jeannie held the gown against one leg, which she lifted slightly. "It would look great on me, and the way it's cut it would hide my 'baby belly'."

  "Jeannie, it's white. It's also extremely formal. You're not planning on having the ceremony at a cathedral. I don't think it's suitable for our grandparent's backyard."

  Her sister glared at her. "I look good in white."

  "Maybe, but I think it would be more appropriate for you to look for something in a cream or neutral color."

  "You're jealous." Jeannie placed the dress on the nearest rack.

  The unladylike snort slipped from Amanda by accident. "What gave you that crazy idea?"

  Jeannie did her best to ignore Amanda's attitude. Her sister could be such a snot, sometimes. She had been snippy all day. "Well, I am marrying a doctor. Not that there's anything wrong with Slim, but Rodney is a professional."

  "He'd have to be, to put up with you." Amanda fought the temptation to kick off her shoes. From Jeannie's tone, they weren't leaving anytime soon.

  "Smartass."

  "You started it."

  Jeannie stuck her tongue out, which caused them both to laugh. She took another dress from the rack and brought it over for Amanda's inspection. "This one's nice."

  Amanda fingered the tag that hung from one sleeve. "It'd better be. You could make a month's house payment for this."

  "So? I want this to be special."

  "It will be. But Dad said he was going to pay for your dress. You can't honestly expect him to spend that much money."

  With a roll of her eyes, Jeannie draped the dress over the rack. "He helped pay for yours, didn't he? I don't see what the big deal is."

  "No, Lex and I paid for everything. He offered, but we knew he was trying to use all his money on his new business."

  "You think you're so superior to me, don't you?" Jeannie put her hands on her hips and glared at her sister. "If our father thinks it'll cost too much, he can always ask our grandparents for help. Or tell me no."

  The throbbing of her temples signaled to Amanda an impending headache. It was the third one this week. "Fine. You're going to do whatever you want to anyway. Leave me out of it." She stood. "Pick out a dress so we can go. I'm too tired to argue with you anymore."

  Jeannie's entire demeanor changed. "Are you all right?"

  "I will be once we're done. Can we please stop arguing and get this over with?"

  "Of course." Jeannie remembered too well how uncomfortable shopping could be when pregnant. "You know, I think you had the right idea at your ceremony. Something tasteful and less formal would be the way to go."

  Amanda was grateful for her sister's return to sanity. "Thank you. I think you'll be a lot more comfortable, since it's going to be an outdoor ceremony."

  "That little tidbit had slipped my mind." Jeannie picked up her bags. "Let's go. I owe you lunch." They left the trendy boutique in search of a good meal and more sensible clothing choices.

  THE HOUSE WAS quiet, except for the movie that flickered on the large television screen. The animated musical about a mermaid was Lorrie's favorite, at least for the moment. Lex and Amanda sat next to each other and their daughter was stretched across both their laps.

  Amanda brushed her fingers through Lorrie's hair. The dark strands were fine, and she carefully detangled the unruly locks. The motion relaxed Lorrie and soothed Amanda. Her shopping trip with Jeannie the previous day had worn her out more than she cared to admit. She leaned into Lex's shoulder and closed her eyes. It wouldn't take much for her to doze off.

  With the hand that rested on Amanda's far shoulder, Lex scratched the back of her lover's neck. "Are you feeling okay?"

  "A little tired I guess."

  "Is there anything I can do? Maybe another massage tonight?" Lex enjoyed the almost nightly ritual. She never tired of touching Amanda's body, whether making love or making her feel better.

  "I'd like that."

  The end credits for the movie rolled across the screen. Lorrie twisted until she was on her back and patted Amanda's stomach. "Mommy?"

  "Hmm?"

  Lorrie raised Amanda's shirt. "You growing."

  "That's right." The comment didn't upset Amanda. She knew how curious their daughter was. She shifted when cold little hands ran across her sensitive skin.

  "Why?"

  When Amanda first started to show, Lex and Amanda sat Lorrie down and
explained to her what was happening. She seemed to understand, but now Lex wasn't too sure. She was curious what was on Lorrie's mind. "Remember what we talked about? Your mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." She tickled Lorrie's belly and caused the child to giggle.

  "No, Momma." Lorrie squirmed and slapped at Lex's hand. She settled down soon after. "Why a baby?"

  Amanda gestured to Lex, wanting to see how she handled the question. "Yes, Momma. Tell us."

  "Um, okay." Lex scooped Lorrie up. "We loved you so much, that we wanted to give you a little sister to play with."

  "Like Christopher's? His mommy gots baby."

  Lex kissed her head. "Yep. Just like Christopher's mommy."

  Lorrie considered the answer. "Did Christopher's daddy give you the baby?" She couldn't understand why her Momma and Mommy started laughing. It sounded perfectly logical to her.

  Amanda got her laughter under control first. "No, honey. Christopher's daddy loves his mommy and that's why he gave her a baby."

  "Otay." Lorrie was quiet for over a minute before she thumped Lex on the chest. "Momma, you loves Mommy?"

  "Yep."

  The facts, as she knew them, all fell into place for Lorrie. "Momma, you gave Mommy the baby?"

  "Um, well." Lex looked to Amanda for help. How much knowledge should you give a three-year-old, anyway? "Mommy?"

  "Gee, thanks." Amanda subconsciously rubbed her stomach. "It's hard to explain, sweetie. We went to the doctor and he helped us get a baby."

  "Otay." Lorrie slipped off her momma's lap. Freckles, who had been sleeping in her nearby dog bed, jumped up and raced over to her. "Can we gets a puppy, not a baby?"

  Amanda buried her face in Lex's neck to keep from laughing out loud. Sometimes their daughter's one track mind surprised even her.

  "No, lil' bit. I'm afraid that's not how it works." Lex struggled to keep a straight face.

  "But Fleckles wants a puppy." Lorrie wrapped her arms around the happy dog's neck. Freckles proceeded to lick her cheek.

  "I'm sorry, kiddo. But mommies can't have puppies."

  The petulant look which crossed Lorrie's face was a carbon copy of Lex's when she didn't get her way. She frowned and started to stomp from the room, grumbling to herself. It would have been a lot more fun to have another puppy.

  IT WAS HARD to tell who enjoyed going to bed more that evening. After the promised massage, Amanda was stretched out on the bed, dozing. Lex had her head propped on Amanda's thighs, reading aloud.

  "Compared with last week, feeder steers and heifers weak. Slaughter cows and slaughter bulls steady. Stock cows and pairs weak. Trading and demand moderate." Lex thumbed through the computer generated pages. "Supply included fifteen percent feeders, fifteen percent stock cows and pairs. Of the feeders, sixty percent were steers and forty percent heifers with fifteen percent weighing over six hundred pounds."

  Amanda sighed. "What on earth is that?"

  "The producers livestock auction report."

  "Uh-huh. And why are you reading this out loud?"

  Lex raised her head. "I saw in one of the baby books that it was good to read to the baby." She placed her ear against Amanda's belly. "You want to be well educated, right, Junior?" Amanda's stomach gurgled in answer. "I think she agrees with me."

  Amanda lightly slapped her on the head. "Couldn't you find something a little more, I don't know, relevant?"

  "What's more relevant than the stock report? I haven't been to the auctions in a few months, so it's important to know what's going on." Lex suddenly got very quiet and still.

  "What is it?"

  "I'm not sure." Lex splayed her hand next to her head, lightly rubbing. "Junior? Are you listening?" She started humming a tune while she continued to stroke Amanda's distended stomach.

  "Lex?"

  There it was again. Now Lex was sure. "She kicked me." She sat up and put both hands where her head had been. "Come on, Junior." Another small motion caused a huge smile to cover Lex's face. "Yes!" She leaned closer. "You like when I talk to you, don't you?" It wasn't much, but she could feel a slight movement beneath her hands. "I guess that means you want me to tell you a story."

  It was a toss up as to who was happier. Amanda caressed her partner's hair while Lex chattered.

  "I can't wait to show you everything. Of course, the first one you'll see is your beautiful mommy. Then, we'll introduce you to your sister. I bet when you're older, the two of you will cause all sorts of trouble." Lex was almost giddy at feeling their daughter move. She kissed Amanda's belly. "I think she likes it when I talk to her."

  "Maybe she's kicking to see if you'll be quiet."

  Lex stuck her tongue out at her wife. "Don't listen to her, Junior. Mommy is grumpy. We know you like the sound of my voice." The baby kicked again and she raised triumphant eyes toward Amanda. "See?"

  Amanda groaned. "I'm doomed." But she played with Lex's hair and had a fond smile on her face. "You're cute."

  "I don't know about that, but I'm extremely happy." Lex kissed her stomach and scooted up to lay next to Amanda. She propped her head on her hand so she could look down into Amanda's eyes. "Every time I think it's impossible to fall in love with you any more, another day comes and proves me wrong." She bent and touched her lips to Amanda's.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  AMANDA TYPED A few more words on the computer and stretched. She knew it would take awhile for the report to print, so she stood and decided it was time for another cup of decaffeinated tea. She stopped drinking coffee when she found out she was pregnant, and one of the women in the office had suggested tea. It had taken some getting used to. She had always been a coffee drinker, and the only way she liked tea was if it was poured over ice. But it was better than going completely without. Amanda made her way to the office kitchen where Wanda greeted her.

  "Hi there, boss. I figured you'd be gone by now. It's been pretty slow." Wanda made herself a cup of coffee and dumped several packets of sugar and creamer into it.

  Amanda's mouth watered at the strong fragrance. "I'm finishing up some paperwork before I pick up Lorrie at daycare." She dunked a tea bag into her mug of water. She wanted to dump the cup over Wanda's head when the other woman took a sip of coffee and groaned in pleasure. "Do you have to tease me like that?"

  "Hmm?"

  "I'd kill for a cup of coffee about now." Amanda swirled a teaspoon of sugar into her tea. "I hate hot tea."

  Wanda could sympathize with her. When she had been pregnant with her daughter, Allison, she cheated on her dietary restrictions more than once. "What about decaf?"

  "I've tried. But all it does is give me indigestion." Amanda took a sip of the brew and frowned. "Yuck." She poured the contents down the sink and rinsed out the mug. "Maybe I'll stick with milk and juice. This stuff is too nasty."

  "How about a caffeine-free coke? Those aren't bad."

  Amanda grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator and opened it. She took a healthy swig before she leaned against the counter. "That's true. But I know I need to drink something healthier. I never realized how much I'd miss my daily infusion."

  "You're a better woman than I am. I constantly cheated on my diet. Of course, Dirk would tell the doctor on me. If we had a doghouse, he would have spent most of my pregnancy in it." She sat at the small table and waited until Amanda joined her. "Has Lex driven you crazy, yet? I think it's in the handbook somewhere that spouses are supposed to be a pain in the rear when you're expecting."

  "Actually, she's been great. Last night, she finally got to feel the baby move. The look on her face was priceless."

  Wanda envisioned the scene. She knew how excited Lex was about Amanda's pregnancy. It showed every time she saw them together. And she also found new excuses to come into the office, usually bearing flowers or some other small gift. It was too cute. "I'm surprised she hasn't been by for lunch."

  "She was going to. But she had to pick up a load of hay, because the guys are busy with other things." It had been a very unhappy
Lex who left the house that morning. She had planned on taking Lorrie to school, Amanda to work, and run a few errands around town before lunch. But the man she bought the hay from called her, and the order had to be picked up today. She'd already sent the men out on other errands, and was stuck picking up the hay herself.

  "That's a shame. I always enjoy seeing her."

  Amanda finished her bottle of water and stood. "She has a good time coming here, too. Guess I'll finish up what I was doing, so I can grab Lorrie. We're meeting Charlie for lunch."

  "That's great." Wanda stood and rinsed out her coffee cup. "Why don't you bring her over Saturday to play with Allison? We're planning on baking cookies."

  "If you think she won't be too much trouble. You're a brave woman for cooking with two little girls."

  Wanda followed Amanda out of the kitchen. "Brave has nothing to do with it. I'm going to enlist Dirk into helping. It's always fun watching him with the kids."

  "All right." Amanda headed toward her office. She took the papers from her printer tray and sat behind the desk to look them over.

  Ever since her mother had embezzled money from them a few years ago, Amanda had started running annual credit reports at the beginning of each year. She read over Lex's first. It had surprised her at first, seeing how clean her partner's credit was. Then she realized that Lex had rarely used her credit cards. When she did, she always paid them off within a few months. Something caught her eye. "That can't be right." Everything was clear, except--"Why has Kirk Trumbull put a lien on the ranch?" She picked up her phone receiver then paused. It wasn't something she should tell Lex on the phone. Instead, she dialed another number. She asked Charlie to pick up Lorrie at daycare, before she grabbed her purse and hurried home.