Faithless Dreams

by C. R. Jane

  She all of a sudden looks so sad just then that I want to punch myself.

  “If we met before, it was all a dream,” she replies despondently after a moment.

  “If you were in my dreams, I’m not sure I would ever want to wake up,” I proclaim to her, cringing at the corniness of the line.

  It does the job of making her smile though.

  If she lets me, I’ll make sure that I keep a smile on her face forever.

  Chapter 10

  Lexi calls me bright and early the next morning, right after Beckham has coincidently just dropped me off at my dorm. I feel like I’m on another planet after the night that I just had. Beckham and I talked for hours at his apartment after we left the set and had dinner, and I’m feeling hopeful and more resolved than ever that I can gain back what was lost.

  "I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning. How did it go? Do I need to go to the store and buy a bunch of Ben and Jerry's, plan for a day watching chick flicks?" she asks, loud and boisterous as usual.

  I blush, even though we are talking through the phone and she can’t actually see me. "I actually don’t think I need any of those things because you, my dear Lexi, are a genius! The plan worked perfectly, better than perfect," I gush. "He noticed me right away. I ended up…"

  "You slept with him, didn’t you?" she asks, sounding strangely horrified.

  "Well, yeah," I answer defensively.

  "So, he remembers everything?" she pushes, her voice still ringing with that strange upset tone that makes no sense considering we accomplished our goal.

  "No, he doesn't remember anything,” I answer quietly, my mood plummeting because of the strange conversation that I’ve just entered into. “It’s just that the something that’s always been between us, it’s still there. It's something that I feel like connects me with all of them, it can never truly be broken. He still feels strongly for me, even if he doesn't know why."

  "So just like that, you're back together with him. Even though he forgot all about you?" she states accusingly.

  "I wouldn't say that we’re back together. But we could be on our way. Am I supposed to be mad at him for forgetting about me? It's not like the three of them came up with a diabolical plan together to make sure they all forgot me at once. And what’s with you? Why aren't you happy about this? This was our goal." I respond, getting more and more upset by her reaction.

  There’s a tension filled silence for what feels like a full minute.

  "Of course, I'm happy for you," she says in an abrupt change of face. "I guess I just want you to make them work for it. You were so sad when you came to me. I don't want you to be like that again."

  "Well, how about we still have that ice cream and movie day," I say to her, wanting to smooth things over.

  "I actually have an errand I need to run," she responds, sounding distracted all of a sudden.

  "But didn't you…?" I start to say.

  She cuts me off.

  "Sorry, I've got to go. Call you later babe. Great news though today.” The phone call abruptly ends.

  I sit there in stunned silence. Was I not remembering correctly that Lexi had started the conversation asking if I wanted to hang out? Then all of a sudden, she had somewhere to go. It reminds me of the Destiny’s Child song, “Say My Name,” when the girl says she’s coming over with her friends and all of a sudden, her guy has to leave. Whatever just happened doesn’t sit right with me, in fact it gives me an uneasy feeling, that’s impossible to get rid of.

  Once again, I find myself wondering if I trust Lexi. She’s clearly hiding something.

  I finally decide to take a shower and change my clothes. I’m tired, Beckham’s shooting all day and I’m not sure that I’m up to stalking Damon and seeing him with Selena. Deciding that I could go try and get my job back at Moxie and keep my mind off things, I rifle through one of my drawers, looking for something warm to wear. A crackling sound catches my attention all of a sudden. Moving more clothes around to see where the sound came from, I’m surprised to see a piece of paper sticking out from underneath one of my shirts.

  I pull out the paper, and gasp when I see that it’s the picture of the creature from my dream, Tristan. The picture that I had gotten from that strange trinket store that I had gone to with Lexi.

  I was surprised to think that this hadn’t been taken when everything else, including my mother’s journals, had disappeared. It seems like kind of a big error to make for whoever was responsible for everyone’s memory loss.

  I suddenly have the urge to go back to the store. There had been an aura of magic about that place, so strong that it had practically burned my skin when I was in there.

  I wasn't confident that I could find a solution to my problems, but it was worth a try. If it didn't work, I guess there was always Ben & Jerry's and chick flicks like Lexi had suggested.

  I don’t text Lexi about where I’m going even though I know she’ll ask me later what I did today. Something tells me that there are some things that need to be kept a secret from her and this is one of them.

  I bundle up again and decide to walk and take the subway since it’s cheaper. I can always stop by Moxie on the way home to talk about a job. But this needs to take precedence.

  I make my way to Soho, my mind filled with memories of the last time that I had taken this trip with Lexi. After I get off the subway, my phone beeps with a text. It’s from Beckham.

  Beckham: Can’t stop thinking about you. I wish you were here today.

  I immediately burst into tears and have to hide in the grungy subway bathroom for a second to calm myself down. I think I had kind of convinced myself that I would never again get a sweet text from them. I didn’t realize that I would have such a strong reaction to it. Another text comes in before I can answer the first one.

  Beckham: When can I see you?

  Every day for the rest of our lives is what I want to answer...but that’s probably coming on a bit too strong for the current circumstance.

  Eva: I had to run to a shop in Soho, but I could see you tonight after you’re done shooting?

  He answers back immediately.

  Beckham: Done.

  I’m feeling infinitely lighter as I approach the store, but the sharp smell of incense makes me all too aware once again of what happened last time I was here.

  It looks the same as it did last time. All the same candles and vials are set up on little shelves, and silk scarves are advertised as being on sale for $3 a scarf. My fingers drag against the silken fabric as I walk by, intent on my destination at the back of the store.

  Once again I’m transported to somewhere else just by stepping into the back room. That same reddish glow is still there, and I sneeze as soon as I take a few steps inside as the incense smell is a million times stronger than it was last time.

  “Ahh, It’s you. I wondered when you would be back,” comes a rich, silky voice.

  I jump at the sound, apparently expecting it to be empty once again like it was last time. When I take a few more steps in I see a gorgeous ebony haired woman laying on a settee. She’s dressed all in red to match the room and there are a million secrets in her warm, hazel eyes.

  “I’m sorry that I wandered back here, I just…” I begin to say, embarrassed that she caught me trespassing in the back of her store.

  “You wouldn’t have made it back here unless you were supposed to come back here,” she says, leveling me with an amused look. “Just like last time, you’re exactly where you are supposed to be.”

  I’m not sure what to say to that so both of us just stare at one another curiously before she finally motions for me to come and sit next to her.

  “Would you like to have a reading done?” she asks, staring at me intently.

  “Like reading my palms?” I ask, bewildered at the situation I’ve found myself in.

  She chuckles, and her laugh sparks a memory in my mind of another laugh that sounded like wind chimes…

  “It’s more of a
crystal ball reading but who knows what I’ll feel impressed to do during it,” she replies. “Just as long as we don’t have to drink any tea during it. I’ve already had five cups today and I’m filled to bursting.”

  I’m a little worried that this lady is crazy, but nothing about this situation is normal so I guess I’ll just go along with it.

  “Shall we begin?” she asks, moving a gauzy curtain aside behind her and revealing a table with a glowing orb on it that seems to be floating. I’m immediately entranced and find myself gravitating towards it without even realizing it.

  We both sit down on red silk poufs by the table. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. I suddenly panic.

  “Wait...what’s your name?” I blurt out, not knowing why it’s so important that I know.

  She looks at me steadily, no sign that she thinks my question is foolish. “Isabelle,” she says. “And you’re Eva.”

  “How do you…?”

  “Shall we start?” she asks, cutting me off.

  I reluctantly nod, a little frightened about what’s about to happen.

  She once again closes her eyes. The incense seems to get even stronger and my head starts to swim. When her eyes open up again, I gasp. Her pupil has taken up her entire eye. She looks into the orb which has gotten brighter. There’s total silence in the room, the noise from the street outside totally hidden.

  She looks from the orb back to me, her eyes somehow widening even more.

  “Your Majesty,” she gasps, but she doesn’t elaborate. “What do you wish to know?”

  There’re a million questions I want to ask, but I decide to start with the most pressing one. “Damon, Mason, and Beckham...how do I get them back...and what happened to them?”

  She nods as if she expected that question even though I haven’t elaborated anything. “I cannot tell you who is responsible for what happened to them. The magic that binds them is an old one, and one that I do not dare to mess with without grave consequences. But I can tell you how to get them back. You are four parts of the same soul. But something different connects you to each one. Remember what bound you to them in the first place and use that to make them remember.”

  Her eyes start to get cloudy and her face starts to droop, like she’s melting away in front of me. “One more question,” I call out frantically, and the cloudiness fades infinitesimally. “How do I defeat Him?”

  She sighs. It’s the sigh of an immeasurably old being, one who has seen everything and carries the weight of the world with her. “He loves you,” she says, her voice hoarse.

  “I know, but I can’t choose who I love. And it’s never been him.”

  She nods, like she was expecting that answer. “He won’t stop until he wins. You once chose death to escape him, you will have to decide if you will do it again,” she says, a sorrowful twinge in her voice.

  “Are you saying...that I have to die in order to defeat him?”

  Her eyes are growing cloudier as we speak, and I know I don’t have much time left with her. “The only person who holds the key to defeating him is you. The answers to all of your questions are in your past, if you only look for them.”

  “That’s not helpful,” I mutter to myself.

  A grin crosses her face but then it quickly fades away as she looks into the orb. “There are others besides Him that you have to watch out for,” she warns.

  “Who?” I ask, peering into the orb and wishing that I could see what she sees.

  Suddenly the room fades away and I find myself standing outside the store on the sidewalk. The storefront has changed into an Indian Restaurant. I rush inside, hoping that she’s still there, but everything is different and there are no doors leading to the back. There are just customers looking at me confused why I’ve burst through the doors frantically.

  I give an apologetic smile and I trudge back outside into the cold. I get the sense that someone is watching me, and I whirl around, hoping that it’s her and not something else. But there’s no one there.

  I decide to go back to my dorm before it’s too late. I don’t even know if I can hang out with Beckham with all the questions that are whirling in my mind.

  Who else do I need to watch out for...and what is the thread that connects me to each one?

  It’s a sobering subway trip back to Manhattan and I wish, not for the first time, that I wasn’t so alone.

  Chapter 11

  (Damon)

  She haunts my every waking thought, the beautiful blonde girl with eyes as clear as crystal. For someone that I don’t know, she takes up every inch of my headspace. And the way she looks at me, like I’m hers, like she knows something important about us...I hate it. I want to grab onto her soul and find out what she’s hiding from me.

  Nothing makes sense right now. And it hasn’t since she somehow walked through my penthouse door.

  I cringe as I hear Selena’s voice call out from behind me. I pretend that I don’t hear her, walking faster so that I can keep Eva in my sights. I’ve been stalking her since I saw her. I basically live outside of her dorm room, waiting to get a glimpse of her.

  I followed her to Soho, but then I lost her when she went into a store. She appeared out of nowhere and I’ve followed her back to campus.

  I tell myself that it’s just to keep her safe, but I know it’s for another reason.

  Now that I’ve seen her, I need her.

  I’ve been around for a long time, long enough to know when something doesn’t feel right. When I found myself in my kitchen with Selena wrapped around me, I knew something was off. First because I would never be cuddling Selena in my fucking kitchen, and second because my heart felt like it was going to explode when Eva walked into my house.

  My phone vibrates and I pull it out. Fuck. It’s from Mason’s manager.

  He’s gone off the rails.

  I shake my head, wondering what I’m supposed to do for Mason when he’s in Europe and I’m here. It’s another thing that doesn’t make sense. Mason’s always been a moody bastard, and he’s gone through his self-destructive phases, but he’s never been as bad as this before. I shake my head and then almost drop my phone when I see Beckham strolling onto campus. The collar of his jacket is pulled up high to try and obscure his face, and he’s wearing a pair of aviators, but there’s no disguising the fact that it’s him. Golden Boy’s a bit too conspicuous to be able to hide from me.

  I watch in shock as he stands in front of the door to Eva’s dorm and pulls out his phone, punching a few buttons before he puts it back in his pocket. A second later she opens the door for him, her face alive with excitement.

  What the fuck…. I murmur to myself.

  I’m about to go in there and make a fool of myself when I feel Selena’s arms wrap around me from behind. She starts to stroke lower down my chest and I catch her hands before she can touch anything important.

  “What do you want, Selena?” I ask shortly, immediately regretting the tone.

  I’m a little suspicious of how I’ve ended up “dating” Selena since I have no memory of ever wanting her for anything but a convenient fuck buddy. I’ve been keeping her around to try and see if she knows anything. And now I might have just messed that up.

  “Did I do something to make you mad?” she quivers, her lower lip trembling. I give an inward eye roll. Apparently not...and what’s with the innocent school girl routine she’s trying to give me. There’s no one on campus that would believe Selena is as innocent as she’s trying to portray. She’s a wolf in a hot girl’s package...and that’s not going to change.

  “Sorry babe, just feeling a little tired,” I respond reassuringly, hating the words as soon as they come out of my mouth.

  “What are you standing out here for anyway?” she asks, looking suspiciously from me to Eva’s dorm.

  “I thought I just saw Beckham go in there and I was just wondering why. Co-eds aren’t really his style when he’s got all the movie groupies available to cater to him after shooting.”
>
  It’s not really the truth at all...why I’m outside the dorm or me pretending that Beckham’s a manwhore, but they’re good excuses...and she seems to fall for them.

  “Can I come over later?” she asks seductively, licking her lips and rubbing against my abdomen once again.

  I shake my head. “I’ve got an early morning radio interview about next season,” I tell her, leaning in to kiss her even though it makes my gums want to bleed. “But how about I walk you to your dorm?”

  She seems starry-eyed from the kiss and doesn’t voice any complaints when I take her back to her dorm. One more kiss and she’s gone, and I can breathe again.

  Well...I would be able to breath if Beckham Fucking Stone wasn’t with Eva right now. How the fuck did they even meet? I remember her ranting in my penthouse and how she tried to call people...one of the people being Mason…

  Surely she wasn’t talking about Mason Shaw…

  Because that would be a little too coincidental.

  (Eva)

  I’m walking to class the next morning when I’m suddenly pulled behind a building quicker than I react. I open my mouth to scream thinking that it’s Aiden or something, but I stop as soon as I see my angel step into view.

  “Damon,” I say, not as a question but more in a resigned way.

  He just looks at me like he’s trying to read something in my face.

  “What do you need?” I ask, wondering what’s going on.

  “Why was Beckham Stone going into your dorm last night?” he asks harshly, the green of his eyes accentuated with his anger.

  I’m shocked and my face blushes a bright red thinking about what Beckham and I actually did last night...and Damon seeing him going in my room. Because that would mean that he was watching me…

  “Were you watching me?” I ask, devouring the perfect planes of his face. My angel has always been jealous. It seems like it’s a good sign if he’s jealous of me when I’m just a stranger to him.